Moony, Lily, Padfoot and Prongs
by practical cynicism
Summary: James, Sirius, Remus and Lily in their fourth year. For readers who love the older generation of wizards as teenagers but hate or at least dislike Peter Pettigrew. The new old? schoolyear must be pretty productive.
1. Gryffindor vs Slytherin

**Moony, Lily, Padfoot and Prongs**

**By: Dimantrien**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters, settings and terms belong to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Inc., Bloomsbury Publishing, and whoever else I don't know has copyright over it… All unrecognizable stuff are mine.**

**Chapter 1: Total Annihilation**

  


10:49 am, King's Cross. Two cabs pulled up to the train station with eleven minutes to spare. Out the first cab came out a very harassed-looking Sophia Black, two sugar-stimulated boys, one with untidy black hair and eyeglasses, the other also with black hair and dark eyes, but with a manic grin that many who knew him feared. The last person to come out was a composed seventeen-year-old girl that resembled her younger, more recklessly dangerous brother (in other words, Sirius Black). 

"Gee mum, you look like a tornado hit you," Sirius remarked bluntly.

"Who wouldn't after putting up with you and James in the same car?" Cassiopeia spoke for their mum.

"I was just stating a simple fact," Sirius shot back, annoyed.

"You mean, a rude opinion," Cassiopeia corrected. 

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but his mum cut him off. "Okay, let's just try to get all your things from the trunk in peace. Is that fine with you?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Sure," three voices responded. 

Things were much less hectic in the other cab. Mr. Black came out first, though he didn't look as tired as his wife. Perhaps Lily, Remus and Peter really couldn't beat a combined team of James and Sirius in a game of ultimate mischievousness and deceit even if they tried. When everyone managed to gather their own belongings in one piece, they had exactly three minutes to spare to get on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and onto the Hogwarts Express.

"Ow! Lil, your trunk landed on my foot!" James yelped.

"Well, it's not my fault that there are so many people in this bloody station!" Lily snapped. 

"That won't help my foot from swelling like an overgrown tomato," James shot back scathingly, clutching his injured foot. 

"I thought you were the clever one, why don't you magic it better," was the reply.

"We're not supposed to do magic yet, you idiot."

"How dare you call me an idiot!"

"Idiot, idiot, idiot!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"Lily Evans is an ugly, bastardly idio—"

"Will the two of you shut it? You're attracting a lot of attention," Cassiopeia hissed. She was dressed in Muggle clothes, but she already had her prefect badge pinned on her shirt.

"Yeah, yeah. Just because you're a prefect doesn't mean you can order us around outside school," James said under his breath.

"What did you say?" Cassiopeia narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing, just that you're a perfect little flower and that everybody just _admires_ you for being a royal pain in the butt. Happy now?" James said sarcastically. 

"You little—"

Mrs. Black sighed. "All right, we've got two minutes. Will you _please _just get onto the platform? Cas, Remus, why don't you go first?" she ordered, heaving a sigh of relief when her daughter discontinued her harsh comment (or threat, since it's more appropriate). 

She waited until they disappeared into the barrier. "James, Si—_Lily, _you next," she instructed, catching herself just in time before saying Sirius's name. She almost always forgot that those two could be the most chaotic duo in the world when they were together. Well, they probably already were.

Sirius scowled his displeasure at this. He knew he was going to be paired with Peter, who really was no fun when you were ready to make a good prank. 

"Peter and Sirius?" Mrs. Black called.

Sirius sauntered toward the barrier, Peter at his heels. As he neared it, he noticed two rowdy-looking teenage Muggle boys leaning against it.

 "Oh, what now?" Peter moaned. 

Grinning and obviously thinking that he could start trouble, Sirius threw one arm around Peter's shoulders and went up to the boys. 

One of them narrowed his eyes. "Whaddaya want, kid?" he asked suspiciously.

Peter let out a terrified squeak. "W-we were just w-w-wondering if you could m-m-m-move, p-p-please?" he stuttered, looking at Sirius helplessly.

"We got here first, so if you're looking for a place to lean on, then find another one," the boy who spoke earlier said.

Fortunately, Mr. Black came to the rescue. "Boys, boys, what's the holdup? Only one minute until—" He stared at the Muggles. "Oh."

Sirius scowled again. Another plan for a brawl foiled. "They won't move, dad," he explained. 

Mr. Black looked around the vicinity before taking out his wand. _"Incesantio Forilivo," _he muttered. Suddenly the two Muggles grabbed their luggage and quickly walked off. "Hurry!" Mr. Black urged them.

They practically dived into the barrier, and caught the tail end of the announcement that departure time was near.

"—in fifty-eight seconds," the announcer…announced.

"Shit, hurry _up, _Peter," Sirius said, dragging him along and practically throwing him into an empty compartment. Mr. and Mrs. Black burst through the platform, panting, and helped Sirius and Peter push

their heavy trunks into the compartment. They had just enough time to shove Sirius through the door before the train moved. 

"Have a nice year!" Mr. Black shouted.

"And _behave yourselves!_" Mrs. Black added, but the train rounded the corner, drowning her words.

The door slid open and in came James. "_There _you are! What kept you?"

"Two Muggle gits, a really heavy trunk, and Peter," Sirius answered. He looked more than a little grumpy.

James grinned. "So. Siri didn't get to wreak havoc in the station. Don't worry, we can always wait for Snape to barge into our compartment and hex him," he assured as he led them to their compartment.

Sirius looked slightly more cheerful. "Great! I can't wait to do that new curse I learned in Cas's book that makes dung beetles crawl out of your nose," he said gleefully.

"Disgusting. How would you know that they'll be dung beetles?"

"'Cause they'll have shit clinging to their hairy little legs," Sirius said with his manic grin.

"Cool! That ugly git better watch his overlarge nose," James said with a smirk. He opened a compartment door to the left of the corridor and went in. And narrowly missed a slimy, flying sneaker.

*****

"Jamie! Look out!" Lily's voice exclaimed. James ducked just in time before the airborne goo-covered thing could hit him full in the face.

Somebody tutted behind him. "What inaccurate aim you have, Snapey," Sirius said with the air of one ready to start a fight.

James looked up. The first impression he had of where he came into was a smelly, green, muck-covered cave with earthworms splattered on the walls and something that looked like a giant pus oozing all over the floor. 

Lily looked just like Sirius sounded. She was already equipped with a wand and slime had stained her black robes. "That'll teach you for calling me a Mudblood, you greasy-haired son of a bitch," she snarled at Snape, who was sprawled on the floor and looked like he'd just had the wind knocked out of him. Off to the side and so far the only one who was clean and untouched was a very amused Remus. He too had his wand out, and purple smoke and occasionally a few blue sparks erupted from the tip. 

"Hey, guys," he greeted them. "You just missed all the fun."

Sirius's grin vanished. "We did? We did? Oh no!" he moaned in despair, and as he stepped in, slipped on a puddle of slime and fell flat on his back. Snape managed a grimace-like smirk.

Sirius scampered upright. "But it's never too late to add to the fun," he added, and quickly took out his wand. _"Squallorine Midjeous!" _he shouted, pointing his wand at Snape. Immediately, Snape's nostrils grew to the size of saucers and enormous beetles with brown stuff on their feet and mouths came out. Sirius, James, Lily and Remus doubled over laughing; Peter, on the other hand, moaned, "Oh, no…Avery and Nott are coming…"

Sure enough, Snape's two enormous friends appeared in the doorway, glares of mingled confusion and rage on their faces. Nott attacked Sirius, his fist colliding with Sirius's right eye. Avery lunged at Peter, who scrambled away and kneed Snape's large nose (dung beetles were still crawling out). Sirius punched Nott in the nose. Avery, failing to get to Peter (and now covered in slime from head to toe) went for Remus instead. Remus dodged his punch, and Avery lost his balance and fell on Snape's stomach. Lily started cursing anyone who dared to come near her.

_"Furnunculus!"_ Lily yelled. 

"Hey! Don't attack _me, _Lil!" James said, swerving out of harm's way.

"Oops. I thought you were Snape."

"Bloody hell, do I look like a grease-haired git with an abnormally large no—"

"James, watch out!" Sirius shouted.

James sidled out of the way, and a green spark hit Snape in the stomach. An arm started to grow from it. 

Laughing, James attempted a spell of his own. _"Plurensium!"_A lightning-shaped spark collided with Avery's nose, and a gigantic pus planted itself square in the middle. 

Peter ran out of the room. Not noticing that he'd gone, his four friends resumed the fight.

_"Parasitus!"_ZAP! Leeches crawled out of Avery's and Nott's ears (courtesy of Remus).

Snape tried to retaliate, but Sirius was quicker. _"Petrificus Totalus!" _he cried, and Snape landed flat on his face. 

_"Skalinta Oculus!" _Lily and James hollered at the same time, and both spells hit Avery's and Nott's eyes. They bulged bigger than plates.

Nott blundered toward Remus, who sent a jet of sparks into his face. He accidentally kicked Snape's face and tripped over him (ouch.). Avery swung his fists around, but his eyes were so big their faces seemed to be magnified. 

James hexed him again, and boils covered every inch of his skin. Sirius took over Nott (_"Disfigurus!"_) and within seconds, his face became oddly contorted, one enormous eye was on his cheek; his nose was on his forehead; his mouth was on his neck and the other eye was missing.

 Snape staggered upright, looking like a mutated monkey with oily hair and an extremely big nose. He took out his wand with a shaky hand but—

_"Incantatum Permanentus!" _Remus cried. Snape froze. 

People started moving around outside. "What's all that racket?" they recognized the muffled voice of Mundungus Fletcher, a seventh-year Hufflepuff. 

"Who screamed?" 

"Sounds like a brawl." 

"Pettigrew from Gryffindor was babbling something about a fight." 

"But he's always like that." 

"I think it's in here." The door slid two inches open, but suddenly the high-pitched voice of Cassiopeia Black rang out. 

"Excuse me, I'm a prefect. What are you all doing out of your compartments? Move on, move on, nothing to see here…" 

The door opened wide, and a few girls outside gasped. Everybody else took one glance at Snape, Avery and Nott and fell over laughing, otherwise crying with mirth.

"Looking good, Snape!"

"Since when did you have your plastic surgery, Nott?"

"Whoa. Nice makeup job there, Avery."

"Maybe Slytherin's Seeker could take a leaf out of Snape's book and grow his own extra arm!"

"They'll sure need it. Think they can catch the Snitch faster than Potter that way?"

"No chance!"

The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were jeering and mocking the three disaster cases openly, since this was the first time that they couldn't fight back. Gryffindors, on the other hand, were another matter.

"Excellent! Will we infiltrate their common room next?"

"Total annihilation!"

"Good job, you guys!"

"Gryffindors rule!"

In the midst of catcalls and congratulations, no disinterested Slytherin could fail to hear the racket outside. Lazily, they poured out of their compartments to see what was going on. What happened next was…

A Slytherin fourth year screamed. "You! W-what have you done to them?!" she screeched at James in particular. 

"The same thing I'll do to you if you step any closer," Lily snarled. 

Sirius nudged James in the ribs. "What?" James hissed, rubbing where Sirius elbowed him.

"I don't know. Lily Evans defending James Potter? Was I hallucinating or something?" Sirius replied with a Cheshire-cat grin.

 James turned beet red. "What are you talking about?" he said with narrowed eyes. 

"Just that I nev—" Sirius's sentence was cut off by a deafening roar. Lestrange, a Slytherin who was two years older than them, stood in the doorway. 

"What _the bloody hell _is going on here?!" he shouted angrily.

Snape, Avery and Nott cringed at his words. They were still sprawled on the floor in humiliation and now…fear. 

"You three! How dare you! I can't believe— And you call yourselves _Slytherins?_" he boomed, his face full of disgusted anger.

"Please, Lestrange, we can explain—"

"Shut up, Avery! I have never seen Slytherins with such pathetic behavior!" Lestrange snapped at him. 

"B-but Black and Potter, they were getting out of hand—"

"And you say you can't handle them?! How much of idiots are you?" He dragged both of them out of the compartment and turned to Snape, his eyes flashing and a vein throbbing in his temple. "SNAPE!"

With the full Body-Bind still on him, Snape could do nothing. 

"How could you be so weak? Five mere Gryffindors—" the Gryffindors behind him glowered and took out their wands threateningly, "—and you couldn't even hurl a single curse at them!"

Somebody appeared behind Lestrange's bulky frame. It was Lucius Malfoy. "Now, now, Lestrange. They _are _just fourth years—"

"And blunderingly idiotic ones, too!" Lestrange interjected angrily.

Lucius's eyes glittered maliciously. "Yes, they _have _acted very poorly, I doubt they could harm even a _Hufflepuff_ in their condition—" it was the Hufflepuffs' turn to glower, "—but we will discuss their punishment later," he finished silkily. _"Finite Incantatem,"_ he said in a lazy tone, and all three mutilated Slytherins reverted to normal. Snape scampered out of the compartment. He reached for his wand but—

"Another time, Severus. You have lost this round, but you have to promise me that you will do a better, if not the best, performance next time," Lucius drawled at him. Snape, being three years younger, immediately put his wand away. 

"Er, if you say so, Lucius," Snape muttered. Quite a few people were still smirking at him. 

Before Malfoy slid the door shut, he said in a malevolent tone, "Just so you know, we won't forget this. Maybe then you'll think twice before doing this again to a Slytherin." He slid the door shut. 

"Man! Did you see how Snape looked when Malfoy was standing over him?" James said gleefully.

"They'll be crying like babies for the next few weeks!" Sirius remarked happily, finally looking satisfied.

"Let's see them get back at us now," said Lily.

"Have any of you seen Peter?" Remus asked, magically fixing their compartment.

Sirius's eyes suddenly hardened. "That coward," he growled. "Didn't even have the courage to stick around. Don't let him in here."

"You've got to understand the little guy, Sirius," James told him reasonably.

"I don't care! First he was terrified of Remus when he found out he was a werewolf, now he doesn't even have the guts to fight back to the Slytherins. I'm telling you, that guy's a pathetic friend," Sirius said angrily.

"Well, I think we should give him a chance," Remus suggested, though he shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his being a werewolf. He still didn't want to think about how disappointed they looked when they found out he lied to them. And Peter…he never wanted to go near Remus since. James finally snapped and told him off, and he was the one Peter liked the most. Maybe that was the only reason Peter was still hanging out with him.

Lily shrugged. "I think Jamie's right. We have to tolerate the fact that he _is _made of weaker stuff than us," she said firmly. 

Sirius looked at James with another Cheshire-cat grin. "What _now?_" James said in annoyed tone.

"Well, when was the last time you and Lily agreed on anything? And when had she openly admitted it?" Sirius asked.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?" Lily said.

"You like Jamie," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"Disgusting! How could you say such a thing, Sirius Black?!" Lily cried, throwing her wand at him. It bounced off his head.

"You act like I'm repulsive now," James complained. "Why do all people have to put me down?"

"Well, it's obvious you like him. You've been acting less Lily-like since we stepped into the Hogwarts Express—"

"And just because of that you accuse me of having an infatuation on the next person as ugly as Snape?" Lily retorted.

"Hey!" James yelled. "I'm not as ugly as that git!"

Lily looked him over. "Well, _nearly,_" she replied with the appropriate amount of disdain in her voice.

James glared at her and didn't bother to retort. He moved to the window, as far away from Lily as possible.

Remus sighed. "Let's all just cool off for a few hours, okay? You guys are still a little excited from that fight," he said. 

"Yeah! Let's leave the lovebirds alone," Sirius piped up.

_"Sirius!"_Lily and James shouted.

Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender. But as he ducked next to Remus, he whispered, "Lovers' quarrel." Remus chuckled.

"I'm warning you, Sirius Black," Lily seethed, waving her wand at him. 

"Okay, okay! I bow down to the bossy goddess," Sirius answered, bowing down low.

"Shut up, Sirius." Lily sighed. 

Sirius pretended to zip his mouth shut, lock it, and throw away the key. Total silence. Nobody spoke for a few minutes. After a while, Lily spoke up. "What's the time, Sirius?" 

Sirius pointed at his mouth and shook his head. 

"You can talk now," Lily said exasperatedly.

"Good! Let's see… It's time…" The witch with the food cart slid the door open. "…to eat! Come on, Jamie boy! Let's see who can cram more Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans into their mouth one minute!" Sirius jumped up and started choosing from the cart. "Uh, guys? Aren't you going to buy anything?"

James was still looking out the window. Lily mouthed, "I'll pass." Remus was still a little queasy because of August's full moon. 

"Suit yourself." Sirius shrugged and took his food, paying the lady fifteen Sickles and twenty-one Knuts. He put a few Chocolate Frogs and Pumpkin Pasties on top of his trunk, which was in the middle of the compartment in case the others wanted some. 

He opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything to say. After his third Chocolate Frog and a rock-flavored bean, he demanded, "Isn't anybody going to say _something?_"

"I must say it's a first that you can't think of anything to say, Sirius," Remus said. 

"Anybody but you," Sirius moaned. "Make them talk!" He gestured at Lily and James. 

Remus had a sudden idea. "If the lovers don't want to talk—"

"We're not lovers!" James snapped. 

"Don't tell me Sirius alienated you too, Remus," Lily said at the same time.

"Hurray! You spoke at last!" Sirius cheered, jumping up and down.

James cracked a smile. "You're so shallow."

"Better than not admitting my feelings to a girl," Sirius shot back.

"How many times do I have to tell you—"

"I thought Lily was the one who had feelings?" Remus interrupted.

"I do _not _have feelings for James! Sirius, you are so—" Lily started.

"Okay, okay, scratch what I said. _Lily, _you should admit—" Sirius tried again with a grin on his face.

"—your feelings for James," Remus finished.

"Sirius, just shut up," James said exasperatedly.

"I was talking to Lily, not you," Sirius replied.

"All the same—"

"Lily, just say it so they'll shut up," Remus told her.

"Lily won't say anything that isn't true," James pointed out.

"Yeah, but if it will stop our teasing—" Sirius said.

"I thought you _wanted _to tease them of having feelings for each other?" Remus said to Sirius.

"I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR JAMES, OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!!!" Lily screamed. 

That shut them up. But not for long…

"See?" James said triumphantly.

"If you're so defensive, it means that it _is _true," said Remus.

"But it's _not,_" James snapped. "Why can't you just accept that?"

"I already told you guys, James is right next to that Snape git—" Lily said impatiently.

"That's why there's a saying called 'The more you hate, the more you love'," Sirius responded cheerfully.

"I don't love Snape either," Lily responded.

"Does that mean that we _all _love Snape?" Remus asked Sirius disgustedly.

"Nah, it only works for opposite genders," Sirius replied.

"That's a relief," Remus answered.

"What about gay people?" James said thoughtfully.

"I thought you were arguing with us?" said Sirius shrewdly.

"Oh yeah."

"Well, whatever you guys say, I'm not in love with anybody. Period." Lily said shortly.

"That goes for me too," James added.

"Typical," Sirius stage-whispered to Remus.

"Don't start, Sirius," Lily and James said at the same time.

"Even more typical," Remus said back at Sirius.

'You too, Rem," James told him.

"No fair."

"Well, you _did_ start it," Lily replied.

"But Sirius was the one who told me to!" Remus exclaimed.

"Everybody wants to blame everybody else," Sirius said knowingly.

"Don't change the subject, Sirius," James warned him.

"Oh yeah? Just moments ago you wanted to talk about anything but your and Lily's relationship," Sirius retorted.

"We're on a different topic now," James shot back.

"What topic?" Sirius asked.

"Who started what," James responded.

"You're not making any sense," Lily said.

"That's 'cause you're dense," James told her.

"And that's 'cause you've got an ego that wouldn't fit in this planet," Lily replied angrily.

"Yours is bigger."

"When have I boasted about winning the Quidditch Cup and acing all of my classes without studying?"

"You've never boasted about those things 'cause you don't know how to do it."

"I can do anything you can do, even better!" Lily said hotly.

"You can't even _mount _a broomstick," James answered sardonically.

"You are so insensitive, James Potter!"

"Look who's talking."

"Oooh, lovers' quarrel," Sirius broke in. "Let's get out before they start hexing each other, werewolf boy." 

James pointed his wand at him. "You're not going anywhere."

"Or what?" Sirius inquired.

"Or I'll hex _you _first," was the reply.

Sirius clutched the middle of his shirt and widened his eyes in pretended fear. "I'm _so_ scared," he mocked.

Lily turned him into a rabbit. 

"_I _was going to do that," James said, frowning at Lily.

Lily snorted. "So what? It's just the same."

"But I would've done it better than you."

"What are you talking about? Sirius looks adorable."

They watched as the Sirius bunny (black with a white tail and dark eyes) hopped around in protest. Lily pointed her wand at him, but James was quicker. 

_"Wingardium Leviosa!"_

Sirius flew to the ceiling and started somersaulting in the air. James twirled his wand in a circular motion, and Sirius rolled over and over.

"We're not supposed to transfigure people, you know," Remus reminded him.

"That's Lily's problem, not mine," James responded. 

"There's nothing to worry about, unless Sirius becomes a wuss and tells on me," Lily said smugly.

Remus shrugged, just as Arthur Weasley opened the door. James stopped twirling his wand, and Sirius dropped to the floor. Sirius made a moaning noise (do rabbits do that?).

Arthur glanced at the rabbit. "Is that Sirius?" he asked.

"What gives you that idea?" James said.

"Because he's not here."

Remus quickly stepped in. "That's not Sirius. He just went out to…look for Peter," he said. 

"I saw him in Frank Longbottom's compartment," Arthur informed, looking slightly suspicious. 

"Oh, don't worry, we'll tell Sirius when he gets back," Lily said sweetly.

"Uh…okay. Just wanted to tell you that we're five minutes away from Hogsmeade Station. You better change into your robes." Arthur paused. "What were you three doing?"

The three (or four, if you count a bunny rabbit with a contorted look of pain in its face) friends looked at one another.

"Nothing," James said finally, eyeing Arthur's polished prefect badge.

"Nothing dangerous, if that's what you were thinking," Remus hurriedly supplied. 

"Just a bunch of friends bantering and joking around," Lily added. 

"If you say so," Arthur said slowly. He took one last look at Sirius and left.

"That was close," Remus commented before shutting the door closed. There was a faint pop behind him, and he saw Sirius, looking peeved.

"What did you do that for?" he said furiously.

"Lily transfigured you, not me," James said innocently.

Sirius turned to Lily. "I'll find a way to get back at you," he said, but there was a small smile on his lips. The I'm-thinking-of-a-really-good-way-to-punish-you smile. "You too," he told James as an afterthought.

James shrugged. "Whatever. You know that I'll just do something to you too. Only it'll be double 'cause Lily will think of something too."

"I don't care," Sirius said, unfazed. "I _am_ the prankster king."

"Whatever you say, Sirius," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Can we just change into our robes now?"

"You're a _girl,_" James pointed out. "Get out."

"Really, Jamie? I thought you'd want to see Lil strip since you like her," Sirius said, his eyes sparkling.

Lily bumped their heads together on her way out, carrying her robes and hat. "I'll go. I don't need to change in a compartment with a sexist and a pervert in it," she joked. "And a werewolf, too," she added, eyeing Remus. "Not that that's a bad thing," she assured him. 

"Yeah, I'll see you later too, Lil," Remus said. "But where are you going to change?"

Lily shrugged. "I have girl friends too, you know," she reminded him. "I'll just go over to Celeste Schoharie. Later, 'kay?"

"Good riddance!" James called after her, an amused smirk on his face. She looked back at him and smiled.


	2. Punishment?

**Chapter 2: Punishment?**

  


The four friends met at the Hogsmeade Station three minutes later. There had been no sign of Peter, according to Lily. This was a good sign, according to Sirius.

"Now, all we need is to watch for Snape and his slimy boulder cronies and we'll be all set," Remus said.

"As if we need to watch for a bunch of weak, mindless dimwits like them," Sirius snorted. 

A hulking figure overshadowed him. "Weak, mindless dimwits, huh?" Rosier said threateningly. He cracked his enormous knuckles. 

"Yeah, I reckon so," Sirius said casually. "Why? Feeling touchy-feely today, Rosier? Are all Slytherins into brotherly love and defending their fellow ignoramuses' pride?" 

Rosier growled, lunging at Sirius. Sirius swerved to the right, causing Rosier to slam right into Cassiopeia Black.

"Ouch! Who did—Rosier! Such uncivil manners! You are in the fourth year, I presume? This is the first day back, but such disrespectful character must be rightly corrected. A point from Slytherin," Cassiopeia said severely.

Rosier reddened. Sirius knew for a fact that he had a crush on Cas, and it was double humiliation to be told off by her, a prefect three years older, _and _have a point deducted from his House when classes didn't even start yet. He skulked off, but not before hearing Sirius's last word.

"A fourth year! Are you not ashamed of your discourteous behavior? You, who should uphold the pride and dignity of a respected student of this school? How dare you!" Sirius deadpanned in an award-winning imitation of his sister. A good number of spectators laughed, and Rosier glared at him before disappearing into the throng.

"Such uncivil manners!" Lily recited in a high-pitched voice.

"Rightly corrected? Sounds like an oxymoron," James cracked up.

"She should've taken more points from Slytherin," Remus said. "Too bad your sister's unbiased, Sirius."

"Who cares?" Sirius said. "Just beating the snot out of a Slytherin without an effort is rewarding enough."

"But that's what we _always _do, Sirius," James reminded.

"Uh-huh. We never got Rosier. Just a bunch of nincompoops like Snape," Sirius pointed out. "Though they _are _in the same year," he said thoughtfully. 

"Exactly. We should attack Lestrange next," Remus said in a low voice. A gang of Slytherins was only a few feet away. 

"We're better off with a bunch of tricks, though." Sirius peered into the distance. "The carriages are coming," he announced. 

"Right. Off to school, then," James said before his voice was drowned in the midst of cheerful chatter and the sound of invisible hooves against the muddy ground.

*****

The four of them squeezed into one carriage, Sirius with his usual antics ("Why don't you sit on Jamie's lap, Lil?") Lily with a short temper ("Ouch! Okay, okay, I was just joking. _Girls._") and Remus and James deciding not to pursue any leads on banter.

Rain fell softly from the dark sky, enough to make them slightly wet, but not enough to overturn the boats in which Hagrid and the first years traveled in the lake. They reached the castle without the usual pushing and yelling to get through the door first. Overall (much to Sirius's disappointment), it was a fairly peaceful first night back. 

As they climbed up the steps to the front entrance, Professor McGonagall's stern face swam into view. Her arms were crossed and there was a furious expression on her face. Something, obviously, was very wrong.

"Uh-oh…She's got that look on her face," James whispered.

"What look?" Remus asked.

"You know, the look she gave us when we rigged the whole Forbidden Forest with Dungbombs and sent all the animals onto the school grounds. The look that sentenced us to our sixty-ninth detention in two weeks. The look—"

"Okay, okay, I get the point."

"We're in the danger zone…" Sirius said with bated breath.

"D'you think Snape told on us?" Lily wondered aloud.

Sirius shook his head. "Can't be. If it was, then Ridgewood would be the one waiting for us on the front steps, ready to take a hundred points from Gryffindor and give us fifty detentions in one day."

"Or send us to Dumbledore," Lily added. 

"Or expel us," said James.

"Here comes McGonagall," Remus said bracingly.

Professor McGonagall came down the last few steps to meet them, a majorly peeved look on her face, her lips the thinnest of the thin. "Black, Potter, Lupin and Evans. In my office. Now."

Shrugging to one another and ignoring the curious faces of their fellow classmates, the four friends sauntered into the entrance hall and followed Professor McGonagall to her office.

The same sight that greeted them from their last detention last year met their eyes. The fire in the fireplace cracked cheerfully as they entered, completely contrasting to the tension in the air. Professor McGonagall seated herself behind her desk and clasped her hands together. She seemed to be restraining herself from exploding at them.

"A very reliable source has told me about your…conflict with three Slytherins. Snape, Avery and Nott, correct?"

"Er—yes, Professor," James said. 

"Yes. I know that you four have little self-control, and even less _self-discipline,_ and after the last three years, we saw there was only a slight improvement of your actions. But this is getting out of hand. You must understand the consequences you have to face with every prank or fight of which you are responsible. Most of all, your detentions seem to have no effect whatsoever on you. Except, of course, encourage you to cook up more trouble."

_Don' beat around the bush, _Sirius thought.

_Get to the point! _Lily's inner voice screamed.

_Why don't you just tell us what our punishment is? _James pondered.

Who_ told_ _on us? _Remus asked himself.

"I cannot fail to say that I am very, _very _disappointed in you. However, what you did was still before school, so I convinced Professor Ridgewood that there was no need to deduct House points." The four grinned at this.

"But…"

All four groaned inwardly. Here it comes…

"Detention cannot discipline you. Potter, Black, for your punishments, I am banning you two from all future Quidditch matches until your behavior improves. I will assign a temporary Seeker and Beater for this year."

James' and Sirius's mouths dropped open almost imperceptibly. "But, Professor—"

Professor McGonagall held up a hand. "No buts. Actually, it was Professor Ridgewood's idea that I gave you this particular punishment, and I find it very suitable."

A look of intense hatred overcame their faces. Ridgewood was Slytherin's Head of House, and was one of the top ten people that James and Sirius hated. He was right there on the number one spot with Snape.

"Lupin, I expected better of you. You are usually the peacemaker whenever Pettigrew isn't around. I didn't want to do this, but if you cannot follow the rules of the school, I will not hesitate to announce to the school that you are a werewolf."

Remus was shocked. "Professor, Dumble—the Headmaster told me that he s-swore secrecy on my behalf that n-no one, n-not a single person on the staff would—would tell a soul of what I am," he sputtered.

A sad, distant look reflected in McGonagall's eyes. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "But there is nothing else we could do. No other way to make you observe the rules."

"I can't believe this," Remus muttered. He clenched his fists to his sides. "Do you know what'll happen to me?" he whispered. "What the others will say if they find out?"

Professor McGonagall's eyes looked slightly watery. She looked sympathetic at the same time angry at Remus, yet the sympathy won over. "Nobody would know, Lupin, if you will not permit it. The only result depends on your actions."

Her eyes hardened, and she looked at Lily. "I had a particularly difficult time thinking of a punishment for you. Detention is useless. Suspension will not faze you. I decided that the only way to straighten your attitude was your academics. Your punishment—" she narrowed her eyes, "—is to be expelled and transferred to a Muggle school, if you break even a single rule this year. No buts, Miss Evans," she warned, for Lily had opened her mouth to protest. 

"That is all. You may go down to the Feast."

Numb with the impact of their punishment, the four slowly made their way to the door. None of them could find the will to speak. Remus, however, wanted to know who informed the teachers of what they did. At first, the idea of the Slytherins being tattletales was laughable. But, if they knew what the outcome would be, then maybe it _was _Snape who did it. Then again…

Remus spun around. "Er, Professor? Can I ask you something?"

Professor McGonagall was just heading to the door herself. "Yes, Lupin. But do hurry, the Sorting must be over. The Headmaster is expecting us."

"Well, if you don't mind my asking, who--who exactly told you of—of what we did?" Remus said almost timidly.

There was a strange look on Professor McGonagall's face. It wasn't sadness…pity, maybe? Remus couldn't be too sure. "If you really want to know…You deserve to, I suppose. It was Peter Pettigrew."

Sirius's eyes flashed, James was shaking his head, Lily looked horrified, and Remus had a disbelieving expression on his face. 

"But, it _can't _be Peter, Professor," James said. 

"Why can't it be, Potter?"

"Well, for one, he's our friend, and—and he…" James trailed off. "It's just…hard to believe that he'll do something like this."

"Whatever the reason, I believe that Pettigrew acted for the best. You might think he had betrayed you in some way, but someday you'll thank him for making you better students. Now please, go down to the Feast." She gestured at the door, but none of them moved. Sighing, she swept past them and left the room.

When she had gone, the four burst out of the room with different reactions. 

"Can you _believe _what that—that telltale coward did?" Sirius said angrily, his voice shaking with rage. 

James looked doubtful. "I don't know, Sirius, maybe the Slytherins threatened him to tell on us. You know how scared he is of them…"

Lily, like Sirius, wasn't taking it very well. "Honestly, James, you are so naïve," she snapped. "People betray their friends everyday. Unless you're on your toes all the time, you'll end up with nothing."

"Well, what about you?" James shot back. "Just hours ago you were saying that we should give him a chance."

"I would've forgiven him too, James," Remus said quietly. "But when it comes to my punishment, I can't ever think of forgetting what he did to us." 

"He cost you your position at Quidditch, Jamie," Sirius argued. "Face it. That idiot is a back-stabbing traitor who doesn't even have the guts to tell us to our face that he abhors us."

"_Abhors_ us? That's a little over the edge, Sirius," James said. 

"Uh-huh. Just think about what he did, and it'll dawn on you that you don't need a worthless git for a friend. Especially when you have other, _better _ones," Sirius said, glowering.

Remus sighed. "Let's just go and eat dinner, then have a good sleep, okay you guys? We'll settle this in the morning." He started walking down the long corridor, and the others fell into step behind him.

"I can't go to sleep in the dormitory with _him _on the bed right beside mine," Sirius bristled. "If only you were a boy, Lil…"

Lily stopped. "Don't sweat it. I am _not_ sleeping in a boys' dormitory." She seemed to be thinking about something. "Besides, isn't that against the rules?"

Sirius looked at James. "See? If Peter didn't tell on us, we wouldn't have to scrutinize every move we make. We wouldn't be having this conversation now, and we wouldn't be walking down this very corridor talking behind his back. We wouldn't—"

"Oh, just shut up, Sirius," Lily said. "We'll clobber him, or hex him, or turn him into a cockroach and step on him. _Tomorrow._I can't deal with this tonight."

"I thought you act best with angry adrenaline," Remus stated. "What's with the super-calm facade?"

Lily looked up at the ceiling, as if willing her friends to act normally and think straight. "There's a distinct difference between _super-calm _and _tired. _Look it up." With that, she entered the Great Hall, unaware of (or at least ignoring) the whispers that followed her, in the case of the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws; and the catcalls and insults thrown at her from the Slytherin table. 

Professor McGonagall was watching the door with beady eyes. She averted her gaze once Remus, James and Sirius entered and resumed her conversation with Professor Gilchrist, the Astronomy teacher. Professor Gilchrist laughed as Professor McGonagall told her something, and the teachers sitting near them smiled. McGonagall herself settled for a thin smile, which, normally, translated that she was amused. 

Sirius eyed the High Table with contempt. "Wonder what's so funny up there. I mean, you wouldn't know that she just practically threatened to ruin our lives five minutes ago," he said bitterly.

"Don't worry Sirius, all we have to do is to be like everyone else and stay out of trouble for the school year." Remus sat down on a seat next to Lily. 

"Yeah, right. That'll be fun," Sirius said sarcastically.

They looked back at the High Table, this time at Professor Ridgewood. He was arguing with the Headmaster about something. Dumbledore looked calm and started reasoning with Ridgewood. He abruptly ended the conversation with a dismissive wave of his hand. Ridgewood had the look of loathing on his face that he usually gave to James or Sirius in particular. The other Gryffindors received a less harsh glare.

"Shouldn't Ridgewood be ecstatic that we've been sentenced the biggest punishments in our lives?" Lily muttered to them.

James took the seat next to Sirius. As he plopped onto his chair, he noticed the person opposite him. "Peter?"

Peter looked up, and his eyes darted to Sirius's angry face. 

"You!" Sirius snarled. He made to lunge at Peter's neck and choke him, but Lily held him back. 

"Sirius! We'll deal with this later," she hissed, pulling him back by his robes, but all the same, she shot Peter a scathing glare. Peter cringed and moved his chair backward.

James glanced anxiously at the High Table. Nobody seemed to have noticed anything. "Sirius, just forget about this for one night. Maybe we'll plot ways to embarrass Snape later in the dormitory."

Sirius gave Peter the look of death. _If looks could kill, _James thought, _then Peter would drop dead this very second._

"It'll be useless anyway," Sirius said loudly. "Because of _Peter, _we can't have any more fun this year."

Peter pretended to be totally enthralled with a conversation about life as a prefect with Arthur Weasley. He ignored Sirius, but there was a look of fear in his eyes that betrayed him. 

All through the Feast, not one of them could find anything to say, unless it had something to do with the words 'Peter,' 'punishment,' and 'betrayal.' By the time the desserts disappeared, the four friends could only think of one logical solution to end their misery.

After Dumbledore said his after-Feast speech and the students had trickled out of the Great Hall, Sirius led the group up to the High Table where the teachers still sat chatting energetically. Professor Ridgewood looked up as they approached, and his lips curled into an ugly sneer. "Potter, Black, Lupin and Evans. The Headmaster _specifically _told the students that it is time to get back to the dormitories."

"Yeah, we've been informed all right, but I don't remember a school rule in _Hogwarts, A History _that states that when the Headmaster _specifically _tells us to get back to our dormitories, we will be reprimanded by a professor." Sirius said offhandedly. James stepped on his foot. "Ow! What'd you do that for?" Sirius said furiously.

"Don't push it," James hissed back. He bent his head slightly in Dumbledore's direction.

Professor McGonagall wasn't as suspicious. "Who do you want to talk to, you four?" she asked kindly. 

"Professor Dumbledore," James said at once. 

Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows. Professor Kettleburn chuckled. The other teachers avoided looking at each other, it seemed that if they did, they would burst out laughing.

"Somebody call me?" Dumbledore said mildly. His eyes fell on the four friends. 

"Um, yes, Professor," Lily said nervously. The only times she had talked to the Headmaster were when the four of them were in serious trouble. She only hoped he wasn't going to get mad at them. "See, we think that—"

"Professor, it's not fair," Sirius burst out. "I mean, why do we have to lose our positions at Quidditch—"

"Don't you know what'll happen to me if everyone finds out about what I am?" Remus said angrily.

"What about my parents?" Lily interjected. "Do you know what they'll say when I have to go to a Muggle school? I'll have to repeat the last three grades! You wouldn't know what it's like to be the only teenager in a classroom full of eleven-year-olds!"

All non-Muggles that were present (which accounted to everybody else in the room) looked blankly at Lily after this outburst. Dumbledore, on the other hand, didn't look confused at all. His blue eyes twinkled, the way they always did when he was amused.

"And what about your complaint, Mr. Potter? Is there anything you want to tell me?" he said quietly.

James's eyes dropped to the floor. "Uh, not much," he mumbled. "Just that I'll lose the family heirloom that my dad promised he'd give me when I won the Quidditch Cup this year."

"What! You don't mean your dad's _Invisib_—" Sirius started in a revolted voice, but Lily stepped on his other foot (the one James didn't stomp on). "Ouch! What is with you people and flattening my feet?!" He clutched his throbbing foot in his hands, hopping around on the spot.

"You people?" James said with raised eyebrows.

_"Lovers," _Sirius muttered vaguely. Both Lily and James stepped on his already injured feet. "OUCH!" Sirius shut his mouth and edged away from his friends, swearing under his breath. Professor Altrow of Arithmancy let out a laugh. Like rapidly spreading fire, the other professors started chortling and giggling. Dumbledore himself was chuckling merrily.

"They've gone mad," James observed.

"What's so hilarious about you two treading on Sirius's feet?" Remus asked, dumbfounded.

"Maybe it's our magnetic personalities," answered Lily sarcastically. She elbowed James. "You should become a clown, Jamie, you'd look good with a big red nose and a frilly polka-dotted costume with big shoes."

"Well, if you were the one with that costume, then Snape would be overjoyed. He needs a partner," James retorted.

Lily whacked the side of James's head. "Ow! First Sirius, now me. Girls are just so _vicious,_" James said with gritted teeth. 

"And there'll be more of that if you don't stop with your wiseass remarks," Lily replied, going back to observing their insane teachers.

"WHAT"S SO _FUNNY?_" Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs.

His question was pointless; they only laughed harder. "I give up, I'm going to bed," Remus said resignedly, just as Sirius was shouting, "My Quidditch career is at stake here, and all you lot can do is snigger like a bunch of crazed lun—?!"

"Yes, Mr. Black, I think that is enough," Dumbledore stepped in. He wasn't chuckling anymore, but his eyes were still sparkling. He gestured for the teachers to stop, and the laughter died away instantly. The only one who didn't laugh at all was Professor Ridgewood, who had his arms crossed and was wearing a frown.

"Er—Sorry Professor," Sirius mumbled. 

"Apology accepted. Now, Mr. Black, and you three," he added, eyeing Lily, James and Remus. "We have heard—"

"From Peter Pettigrew, in fact," Sirius interrupted.

Dumbledore stared at him inquisitively, but didn't comment. "Indeed, it _was_ Mr. Pettigrew that was responsible, yet he was only concerned for you four, in case you had other ideas. To continue, Peter told us about your four-to-three duel with Mr. Snape and his friends—"

"Actually, sir, it was a one-sided duel," James corrected automatically.

This time Dumbledore stared intently at _him. _"I had guessed so, considering your record. And your cleverness, yes, that must not be overlooked…"

The four just stared back at him, wondering where this was going.

"But what about our sentences?" Sirius complained. "That's injustice, clause five of paragraph two of page seven of chapter nine: Underage Wizards' Rights in the International Wizards' Constitution clearly states that no man or woman, Muggle or wizard, should give excessive orders against any child's will. Clause seven of paragraph nine says that no full-grown Muggle or wizard should stand in the way of an underage wizard's career. A whole page is devoted to Muggle-born witches and wizards' connection to the wizarding world, and nobody but their parents could decide which lifestyle would be better for them—"

"Whoa. Since when did you memorize the whole Constitution?" James asked in an amazed tone.

"I can be diligent when I want to. When it comes to my rights, I will do what I have to do to be treated justly and—"

"Blah, blah, blah," Remus said, rolling his eyes and eliciting a laugh from Sirius.

"Impressive, Mr. Black. Yes, all your statements were correct, there were several cases in the past century concerning those very subjects…"

"Then why are you _doing _this to us, if you know it's wrong?" Sirius asked shrewdly.

The amusement in Dumbledore's eyes didn't fade. "Well, when we heard of your most recent attempt to cause trouble was successful, we were stumped to think of a suitable punishment—"

"That's why you decided to break the law?" Sirius interjected.

"No, Mr. Black. Professor McGonagall told me that it would be quite amusing to see your reactions when you were told of the worst possible consequences to your behavior…" The other teachers started to chuckle again.

"What do you mean by that?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"The staff agreed that it was a good idea to give you a taste of your own medicine," Dumbledore said with a smile. "I will not deny that your reactions were _indeed _entertaining, as Professor McGonagall kindly recounted to us. I myself had no idea how good her acting abilities are."

"You mean-you mean this is just a big _joke?_" Lily asked, dismayed. The staff howled with laughter.

"Partly it was Professor Ridgewood's idea, he _was _the one who thought of your punishments, though he seemed a bit disappointed…" He glanced around. Professor Ridgewood had left. "I guess he didn't want to watch us deliver the punch line."

"Punch line?" James said, open-mouthed.

"It's good to finally get back at you," said Professor McGonagall.

"Wait a minute…" Remus trailed off.

"You tricked us!" Sirius said angrily. The staff laughed again. "Yeah, yeah, that was _really_ funny," he muttered. Even his friends were smiling. Though he had to admit, it was the first time that their _teachers _had tricked them. Without realizing it, he started to laugh too.

"But you _will _have detention," Professor McGonagall warned. "Clean all the bleachers in the Quidditch field. _Without magic,_" she added.

The four groaned. His friends behind him, Sirius stepped up to ask their Head of House a question. "Professor M., why do we have to clean the bleachers? It's not even Quidditch season yet," he pointed out shrewdly.

"Yeah," James said, nodding. Maybe there was a way out of this.

Professor McGonagall smiled. "You might be glad for it, Black. Sibyll Trelawney has predicted that the first Quidditch match, more specifically, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, will be disrupted due to a thunderstorm—"

"But Quidditch matches can't be called off just because of that," Sirius argued. 

Professor McGonagall's nostrils flared. "Yes, well, you know Professor Trelawney. Sometimes she's a little…out there." The four friends grinned to one another. "And she _said _that lightning would be flitting through the sky every few minutes at that time—most irregular. If she's wrong, then I guess we'll just be thankful that we didn't have to have a match in those conditions. I believe your probability in catching the Snitch first is better in good weather, Potter?" she asked him.

"Well, who would say they could see better through rain, anyway?" Sirius said without thinking. 

Professor McGonagall leveled him with a glare. "I might remind you, Black, that you direct the Bludgers in every direction, whether or not it is an opponent or a teammate that you hit. Your detention will be Wednesday next week, at 8:00 p.m. _No magic, Black,_" she reminded. "Is that clear?"

Sirius crossed his fingers behind his back. "Sure thing, Professor. Quidditch field at eight o'clock, no magic. Scout's honor," he added, holding up his other hand as if to pledge something. "We'll go back to the dormitories now."

They hurried out of the Hall. "So, tell me, what are you planning?" James asked him.

"What gives you the idea that I was going to plan something?" Sirius said.

"Because you wouldn't say scout's honor _and _cross your fingers behind your back for nothing. Good enough?" James answered with a smirk.

"Yeah, well, I'm not a scout anyway, so I don't have to keep that promise," Sirius replied.

"I know that, but what _are _we going to do next Wednesday?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said with an evil smile. "We're going to do something to get back to the teachers…"


	3. Snape's Turnaround

**Chapter 3: Snape's Turnaround**

  


The next day's weather was worse than yesterday's. Rain pounded so hard against the windows in the early morning that even Sirius, the King of Late Sleepers, woke up with a start at 4:30 a.m.

"I can't sleep with all that damned rain lashing at the windows," he complained. Early though it was, Remus, James and Sirius noticed that Peter had already gotten up. 

"Wonder why Peter got up at the break of dawn," James said with a yawn.

"Maybe he's scared of thunder," Remus guessed.

"That coward's scared of everything," Sirius said unconcernedly. "Anyway, let's not talk about _The 1000 Fears and Dreads of Peter Pettigrew. _Then again, if we talk about that, it would actually help us get back to sleep."

"What have you got against Peter anyway?" James asked. "All those punishments were a fluke. You shouldn't be mad."

"Is it so wrong to think that a person is irritating and just not fun to be with?" Sirius said irritably. "Take it from me, Jamie boy, you'll regret ever having a friend like that."

"We-ell… If you say so," James shrugged. "Since we're up anyway, what say we head to the Great Hall and start off our first morning back with a back-to-school gift for Snape and his saintly buddies," he deadpanned.

"Better than sticking around here, no doubt," Remus agreed, rubbing his eyes. He looked down at his watch. "We'd better take a shower first, it's too early for anything today, pranks _or _otherwise." He grabbed a towel from his trunk and headed for the bathroom."

Their other classmate, Martin Kimball, snored loudly. This was a surprise, since, aside from being the only one out of place in the dormitory when Peter was still Sirius's close friend, he was usually the lightest sleeper. 

"Want to play a trick on Martin to pass the time?" Sirius asked. 

"Nah," James replied. "Maybe some other time. Today's target is Snape, not a harmless Gryffindor."

"You don't call Snape harmless?" Sirius said with a smirk. "If he only knew how to fight back…"

"Well, he _does _know more curses than the seventh years ever will," James pointed out.

"That's different. There is a very visible distinction between knowing and being smart enough to actually perform a hex," Sirius answered knowingly.

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Sirius."

A disgusted sound arose from the shower. "Eurgh! What the hell is this stuff? _Sirius!_" Remus bellowed.

James looked bewildered; Sirius grinned. "What mysteries are going on there, Rem?" he called innocently.

"Just shut up and get this stuff off me!" was the reply.

Sirius exhaled loudly. "All right, all right, keep your pants on," he said. James followed him.

Sirius opened the door wide and doubled up with laughter. "What's so fun--" James started, and then he laughed too.

Remus was wearing a towel around his waist. His light brown hair became blue and his face, chest and arms were covered in what were unmistakably giant, purple boils. "What are you two laughing about?!" he shouted angrily. "I can't take this stuff off!"

Sirius wheezed. "Hold on, werewolf boy, I'm just going to get a camera," he said between gasps. 

"No, you don't! Take it off or I'm going to disown you as a friend!"

"What's wrong? I thought blue was your favorite color," Sirius said innocuously. 

"I never said I wanted it in my hair," Remus snapped. "And _it's not funny, _James!!!"

For James was still rolling around on the floor, sniggering. 

"You said Avery looked better with boils on his face," Sirius continued.

"That's him, not me!" Remus said. "Hurry up, Sirius…" The boils were starting to burst, and disgusting, electric green pus oozed out. "This is disgusting!" he spat.

"Don't worry Rem, it'll disappear any minute now…" James assured when he finally stopped laughing.

"Just one little picture, Re--"

_"Sirius!"_

"Oh, _fine,_" Sirius said sulkily. _"Evaseum!" _he cried. 

Remus's purple boils disappeared. But his hair was still blue and green gooey liquid was streaming down his chest. _"SIRIUS!!!"_

"Calm down, I'll fix it in a jiffy," Sirius snapped. "What do you call that spell again…"

James had stepped into the bathroom and peered into the shower. "Gross," he said, staring at the pus-splattered walls, the shower dripping with blue liquid, and the floor that grew enormous boils. 

He looked back at Sirius and Remus. The werewolf was back to normal, but he appeared really furious. Sirius was trying not to laugh.

"What did you do that for?!" Remus said fiercely. 

"I didn't do anything! I just put it in a box--"

"What thing?!" Remus yelled.

Sirius thought for a while. "Actually, I haven't named it yet, but I invented this shape-shifter that makes boils appear on whatever it touches…"

James could hear Remus counting from one to ten. "Why did you have to pull a trick on _me?_" he said between clenched teeth. 

"I told you, I didn't put it in the bathroom! It must have escaped by itself--"

"What about the blue dye, Sirius?" James inquired.

"Er--I remember putting a vial of it beside the boil-thing," Sirius recalled. 

"What are you guys shouting about?" a voice said from the doorway. Martin stood there, half-asleep with a towel draped over his shoulder. "I'm going to take a bath." He headed for the shower.

"Uh, Martin there's--"

"Don't go there--"

Too late. Martin had gone into the shower. And yelled. 

"Let's get out of here…" Sirius said, dragging James and Remus away. 

"But I have to put on my clothes," Remus protested. 

_"SIRIUS!!!" _Martin roared.

"Later, then," Sirius whispered. With that, he dashed out of the dormitory, narrowly missing a pus-contaminated loofa that was flung toward the doorway. 

*****

"There. That should do it," James said, pocketing his wand. 

"What about the other two?" Remus asked.

"Never mind that, we'll trick them on another day," Sirius said impatiently.

"You always did say that 'The more pranks, the better.' What changed your perspective on life?" Remus told him.

Sirius looked annoyed. "Don't you want to humiliate Snape? The only way to make him want to crawl under a table and die is to do this to him without anybody else sharing in his worst moment."

"Whatever. But don't say I didn't suggest it later," Remus shot back, rolling his eyes. "And I'm going to get you for what you did this morning."

"Uh-huh. Better hurry, the early birds will be here any minute…"

They slid back to the Gryffindor table just in time. Students started trickling into the Great Hall, chatting unconcernedly. 

Chase Tarlise, Lily's dorm mate and a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, sat opposite them. "Morning, you guys," she greeted.

"Here to get the worm?" Sirius inquired.

"What?" Chase said blankly.

"Never mind," Sirius said. "Where're Lily and Celeste?" 

Chase shrugged. "I dunno. But they had a fight last night," she informed, her pale blue eyes sparkling.

"Really? About what?" Sirius asked with interest.

"Gossipmonger," Remus interjected, sipping his juice.

"Honestly, Sirius. Don't you know that only _girls _nose around for information about the latest rumors and stuff?" James said, shaking his head. 

Chase glared at him. "Not all girls are _that _low, James," she objected. "And in case you didn't know…"

"Know what?"

"Oh nothing," Chase answered tauntingly. 

"Whatever," James said, shaking his head. "See? That's what happens to people like _her,_" he told Remus and Sirius.

"Hey, guys," Lily said, plopping down next to Chase. "What's up?"

"The ceiling, the sky, Paradise," Sirius replied sarcastically. 

"Thanks for the update, Sirius," Lily deadpanned.

"You're welcome. I try my best." Sirius answered. "Heard you had a fight with Celeste."

Lily glanced at Chase. "You told them?" 

Chase speared a waffle piece on her fork. "What gives you that idea?" she asked sardonically.

"How much did you say?"

"Nothing! All I said was that you guys had a fight. Is that a crime?" Chase said while munching on her waffle.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness you didn't spill anything."

James stood up. "The hook-nosed freak isn't here yet," he said, sounding disappointed.

"What's wrong, Jamie? Given Sirius's quote any thought? Are you and Snape a couple now?" Lily said malevolently.

"Excuse me, but I do not have infatuations on stupid, grease-haired, pathetically weak _male _morons. Females too," James added as an afterthought. "You, on the other hand, seem to have a habit of telling other people that they have a crush on your crush so that your scent will be thrown off," he said placidly.

"How many times do I have to tell you that _I--do--not--have--a--crush--on--anybody_?!" Lily snapped. "And that's the truth!"

"The truth lies," Chase remarked. Lily glared at her. "What? People tell false information everyday," she added innocently. 

"Interesting remark, Chase," Sirius grinned. "So… Are you saying that yes, Lily has a crush on somebody or are you just merely stating a fact?"

Lily eyed Chase beadily. Chase opened her mouth to say something, but--

"Oh, look, there's Celeste," she said instead, pointing across the Hall. Lily narrowed her eyes, and when Celeste made to sit next to Chase, Lily walked around the table and sat next to Sirius. 

Celeste pretended not to notice that Lily was purposefully avoiding her. "What's new, you guys?" she asked desperately to break the tense silence that followed after she had arrived. 

Sirius leaned forward, folding and resting his arms on the table. "Not much. Just that Lily Evans and Celeste Schoharie had a fight yesterday, and we were just pressing Chase Tarlise for information. She was about to give us the goods when you came and asked us what's new," he responded the tone and expression of a secret agent discussing top-secret plans with his boss.

Celeste shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Her eyes darted around for something to change the subject with, but she found none. Luckily, Remus spotted something. "There's Snape!" he whispered excitedly.

"Don't tell me you have a crush on Snape too, Rem?" Lily said with a puzzled expression.

"What's the matter Lil? Worried that you've got competition?" James said cynically.

"Oh, not really, I was just worried about my friend James Potter. He'd be overly jealous if somebody took his beloved Snape away from him," Lily answered nonchalantly.

James was about to retort when Remus jabbed his thumb in Snape's direction. He was striding toward the Slytherin table with a smirk on his face. James couldn't fail to notice that the crowd in the Great Hall became sizably bigger in the last five minutes.

"Show time," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together with glee. 

Snape sat down in his usual seat at their table, but suddenly jumped up as if a porcupine had chosen to sleep on his chair. There was a loud POP! and Snape was engulfed in thick, purple smoke. When the smoke faded, the whole Hall was roaring with laughter. 

Snape looked horrified. "What? What happened to me?" he cried, wringing his hands at the Slytherins. That was when he noticed the silver bangles on his wrists. 

"Lookin' good, Snape!" 

Snape was wearing deep pink, flower-printed robes with a frilly collar and cuffs. His face was instantly covered with make-up, which was fast becoming heavier, as if an invisible hand was applying the enhancers on his face. A large amount of pale blue eye shadow was on his eyelids; fake eyelashes heavy with mascara had found their way onto his eyes; his cheeks had way too much blush; and thick layers of deep red lipstick were on his lips. He looked down at his feet; he was wearing pale pink shoes with pencil-thin high heels. His nails had lengthened and were a snow pink color. He swung around, and long, black greasy hair whipped his astonished face.

More people entering the Great Hall for breakfast stopped in the doorway, their eyes widening as they gaped at Snape, and sniggers and giggles escaping their lips as they held their stomachs in fits of laughter.

Snape's face, already red due to the blush, positively turned a darker shade of scarlet with every snide comment or snicker from everyone in the Hall. At the point when he desperately reached for his wand to magically change his attire, it burst and turned into a compact of face powder. 

With as much dignity as he could muster, he started walking toward the Gryffindors (who were hurling the most catcalls, laughs and jeers at Snape), tripping every now and then because of his new shoes.

"Look, Lily, Snape's come to sweep you off your feet and ride with you to the sunset--I mean, sunrise--on his Blast-ended Skrewt," James couldn't help to say between sniggers.

"Then he's going to give you a big, slimy kiss and you're going to run your hands through his oil factory of hair and say, 'Oh, Severus, I love you so much!'" Sirius supplied, clutching his stomach because of laughing too hard. 

"Shut up, even if he was the last man standing on earth I wouldn't even touch his slimy skin," Lily snapped at the pair of them just as Snape reached them. 

"Lovely outfit, Snape," James commented loudly, stopping laughing long enough to say the words with a straight face.

"Yeah, I didn't know the gay parade was coming to Hogwarts this year," Sirius added with a loud guffaw. People who heard him laughed harder.

"Want to borrow a pair of large silver-hoop earrings to go with your new look?" Lily asked, her eyes glinting maliciously.

Snape's face burned with embarrassment as laughter closed in on him on all sides, more so when the Gryffindors started attacking him.

"Are you going to come to lunch in a bikini next?"

"Fishing for a date?"

"Wonder who's the unlucky guy."

"No level-headed guy _or _girl will go out with slime like that."

The noisy chatter in the Hall was so loud that a new voice could barely be heard over the racket.

"_What_ is going on here? Disturbing the quiet of the castle, six o'clock in the morning…Who--" Professor McGonagall in her tartan bathrobe too was lost for words as her beady eyes scanned the Hall for the cause of noise. And, like everyone before her who had entered, she gaped at Snape, her eyes widening. For a moment she looked angry, but the sight of Snape looking like a trying-too-hard homosexual was enough to make even the strict professor to let out a chuckle. She tried to force her amusement at the ludicrousness of one of her students out of her face as she walked toward the Gryffindors.

"Snape, what _are _you doing in those--those--"

"Pink floral print robes, heavy make-up, jewelry, and three-inch high heels," Sirius supplied.

"Exactly," Professor McGonagall agreed, nodding. Suddenly her eyes narrowed. "Explain what happened here, Snape."

Snape seemed lost for words. Newcomers started to arrive right after Professor McGonagall and started laughing and pointing at him again.

"Does this, perhaps, have anything to do with _you four_?" Professor McGonagall said sternly to Remus, James, Sirius and Lily.

"Of course not, Professor. We'd never do this to dear old Snape," Sirius said.

"Wouldn't dream of it," James added.

"Yeah, that's because you'd do it before you dreamed about it," Remus whispered to Lily. 

"Professor, I assure you that I had nothing to do with whatever they were doing," Lily said quickly when Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows at her.

"And what precisely did Potter, Black and Lupin do?" Professor McGonagall asked impatiently.

Lily glanced at her friends. "Well…Last I saw, we were just here eating our breakfast when Snape sat down and jumped back up from his chair. Then he was covered in purple smoke and when he reappeared, he looked like…_that,_" she explained, chuckling as Snape gave her a murderous stare.

Professor McGonagall was torn between trying not to laugh (at Snape) and yelling (at James, Sirius and Remus). She was muttering distractedly, but the four (and people who were listening in, everyone else in the Hall, apparently) could make out her words. "That must have been several charms, transfiguration for the shoes and an Attenuation spell for his hair…But what about concealing the spells and letting them stay in an exact position? Strange…but very tricky…"

"Er, Professor, what exactly are you talking about?" Remus asked cautiously. 

Snape was trying to take off his pink shoes, but they seemed to be stuck. A sudden hush spread throughout the Hall, and Professor McGonagall glanced at the doorway.

Dumbledore had come down for breakfast.

*****

All students immediately focused their attention on their food, yet still discussing the fine points of Snape's transformation. Dumbledore was heading up to the High Table, but he stared intently at the small group that was James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Professor McGonagall. And Snape. His eyes twinkled.

"Mr. Snape--"

"_Ms. _Snape, Professor," Sirius corrected loudly, so that Dumbledore would hear him clearly. Everyone laughed. Dumbledore smiled. 

"I do believe that he is a mister, Sirius, so please forgive me if my judgment is different from yours," Dumbledore replied kindly.

"Okay, Professor. How about Mr. Gay Snape, then?" Sirius asked. Snape, who still couldn't find his voice, reached for his wand again and this time it turned into a tube of lipstick. 

"Please, Mr. Black, let me get this out." Dumbledore said. "Mr. Snape, you may go to your dormitory and change into your proper attire."

"But he _can't _change into his clothes," James objected. 

"And why not, Mr. Potter?"

James shifted in his seat. Even from ten yards away, Dumbledore's inquisitive gaze made him feel uneasy. "Er--because there's an Amaranthine spell on him, and it'll fade only after twenty-four hours," he replied, unsure if he said the right thing. 

"Hmm. Quite a difficult spell, is it not? More difficult than those of Ordinary Wizarding Level. I wonder…" Dumbledore trailed off again. He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Uh…We're done. Can we go now, Professor?" Sirius asked uncertainly.

"No, you may not!" Professor McGonagall replied. "Come with me, you four." She beckoned them toward the High Table. The four friends felt all eyes in the Hall trained on them. 

"Oh, wonderful. You guys just _had _to drag me into your trick," Lily hissed at them.

"That's what you get for hanging out with us. If you don't want this to happen to you, then maybe you should just…go with your girlie friends and leave all the dirty work to us," James snapped at her. Lily didn't reply, but there was hurt in her eyes before she looked away. 

They reached the High Table in silence. Professor Dumbledore gestured for them to take their seats. "Sit down, sit down," he said heartily. "Most of the staff seem to be having a lie-in, this _is_ the first morning back."

"What did you want to talk to us about, Professor?" Remus asked nervously. As much trouble as he had caused, he still thought highly of Dumbledore and admired him.

"I wanted to comment on your brilliance…yes…not all fourth years, fifth years, even, could do what you all have done." Dumbledore said.

"Dumbledore!" Professor McGonagall said, astonished. "These children need proper discipline, not more praise for the wrong they have done…"

"I leave that responsibility to you, Minerva. Surely you have noticed that these four young Gryffindors have performed spells that half of the seventh years have problems dealing with? I think they deserve points for their talent and ability--"

"Yes, Headmaster, I do believe that they have had top grades for the past three years, but this is not the right time to praise them for that…"

The four friends grinned, not that they paid much attention to the fact that they were the cleverest in their year, but to have Dumbledore praise them himself was saying something.

"Very well. I would just like to ask a last word with Mr. Potter and Mr. Black."

Wondering what they had done now that the Headmaster just _had _to discuss, Sirius and James shrugged at their friends and told them that they would meet in the common room later. They sat down again in the chairs they had occupied previously.

"I assume that Professor McGonagall has told you that your match with the Slytherins would be earlier than usual?" Dumbledore asked them.

"Yes, Professor," the best friends answered automatically.

"Yes. Practice hard, then…You don't have any complaints for the early start of the season?" The boys shook their heads. "Well, I guess that is all. Have a good weekend, boys…"

"Yeah, thanks, Professor," Sirius said with a grin. "We will," he added to James in a low voice. "We've got a special lineup for each person in that Slytherin gang that Snape always hangs out with."

"By the way, congratulations for an excellent Amaranthine Charm, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore called before they started to leave.

James nodded, looking slightly surprised. How did Dumbledore know that he was the one who had done that spell anyway?

*****

The Gryffindor common room was in utter chaos.

Philip McKinnon, a third year, had been ordered by Lily to nick food from the kitchens. Lily decided to take Philip's crush on her to her full advantage. However, Kelsey Findlay, who had long since been Philip's admirer, wasn't too happy.

Martin Kimball had been bullied by Sirius to let off his stash of Filibuster's Fireworks, With Heat, so everyone in the room had to exercise great caution and constant vigilance (hehe…Moody) before sitting on an armchair or grabbing food from the makeshift buffet table, in case a firecracker decided to hide somewhere near there to surprise someone. 

James and Remus disappeared for half an hour before coming back with a huge cardboard box containing every magical sweet imaginable.

A few Muggle-borns who were at least not yet slightly removed from the pop music world were singing _Cherry Lips_ by Garbage, changing the lyrics so that it fit with Snape's current situation. 

Some, who were safe in the shelter of a well-placed Heat-Repelling Charm, had taken to invading James and Remus's cardboard box and blowing enormous bubbles with Droobles Best Blowing Gum, or else levitating around the room after munching on a Fizzing Whizbee. 

Others who had already stuffed themselves full of cream cakes and desserts that Martin had nicked were either discussing Snape's turnaround or congratulating Remus, James and Sirius for a job well done.

Peter Pettigrew was nowhere in sight.

"Did he decide to run away from school?" James grumbled when he noticed (after his fifteenth bottle of butterbeer) that he was missing.

"Probably. Else he's decided to sink to total dorkdom and studiously read every single book in the library within a day," Sirius said, wearing his trademark manic grin and inspecting a list of things he had invented to test on the Slytherins.

"Maybe even trying to find what's left in the Great Hall," Lily added. They all looked at her. "What? He wasn't at breakfast, remember?"

Remus looked toward the portrait hole worriedly. "Don't you think something happened to him?" 

Sirius shook his head. "With Peter? Nah. Unless you count his everyday bloopers that include thinking that the right spiral stairway in the east wing of the castle is the way back to the common room, or getting lost somewhere in the deeper parts of the dungeons, or stepping on Apollyon Pringle's cat--"

"Blah, blah, blah. Will you give it a rest, Sirius? We need to do something more productive," Lily cut in, gesturing at the wild crowd.

"Oh yeah. I've been thinking…maybe we can solve the greater mysteries about the Slytherins--"

"Like what?" Remus asked. 

"You know, whether Snape _ever _washes his hair, or if Nott has the decency to take a bath, even once a month, or if the rumor about Ferris Wilkes's invented ritual of picking his nose with his fellow bizarre, uneducated friends is really true…" 

His three friends laughed. "If we could do that, then I say go for it," James said. 

"Yeah, but we'd better do it sometime next week. You know how our teachers love to pile a huge amount of homework on us during the first day of class," said Remus matter-of-factly.

"What for? We can always do it tomorrow," Sirius pointed out. "Here's what we'll do… Remus, find a bottle of Magic Rainbow Hair Dye…you know, the kind that flashes different colors every other second?" Remus nodded. "Good. Lily, it's your job to find out Slytherin's password. Just--just flirt with Wilkes or something--"

"I am _not _flirting with a booger-picking, disgusting, drooling, stupid Slytherin!" Lily said hotly.

"Fine, just sweet-talk Lestrange into telling you or something--"

"And you don't call that flirting?"

"Jeez, Lil, what's with a little sacrifice on your part? If you want to find out something embarrassing about the Slytherins, then we have to expect some kind of atonement from you. It's not like we can persuade Sirius to pull a Snape and act all gay--" James started in exasperation.

"I'm not going to do _that,_" Sirius interrupted. "Anyway, James. You're supposed to make a Reeking Repellant or whatever you call it--once Lil knows the password to the Slytherin common room, we can coat it on Nott's soap, if he even has soap, that is," Sirius added. "Then one of us will put an Undetectable Charm on it and do something that'll break the spell only after Nott uses it." He frowned. "That'll take a lot of research, that will. I guess I'll have to do that…and plan a bunch of other stuff to spring on Snape's other friends. That's about all, I think."

"We'll help you with the research, Sirius, you can't do a bunch of stuff once Quidditch practice starts, and it'll start early, Dumbledore said," Remus said, deep in thought. "I'll probably get the hair dye tomorrow, I'll just go through one of the Hogsmeade routes."

"I'll come with you," James volunteered, "I need to buy the ingredients for the potion…but I'll have to put an Undetectable Charm on it too…the stuff in that potion smells really nasty…"

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Fine. Lily and I will think of some kind of plan to know their password while you're gone… And can you buy me some stuff from Zonko's? I'm running low on Dungbombs and I'll need a stack of Unwritable Parchments--" 

"What'd you want Unwritable Parchments for?" James asked quizzically.

"Because, you birdbrain," Sirius said impatiently, "I need to occupy Professor McGonagall and all our other teachers with something while we play something on the Slytherins."

"Nice. What about refilling Ridgewood's ink bottle with glittering alternate-pink-to-purple ink?" Remus suggested.

"Good idea. You'd better bring a lot of money to Hogsmeade and go on a shopping spree," Sirius said.

"In that case, we should bring Lil. Aren't females supposed to be better shopper companions?" said James, giving Lily a sardonic smile.

"Only because males have been known to be color-blind, pattern-blind, and intelligence impaired," Lily shot back.

"And the connection to the subject is…" James said, tilting his head.

"That people like _you, _for instance, have no intellectual sense whatsoever when it comes to shopping!" Lily cried, throwing up her arms.

James didn't answer for a moment. "Then how come you said I buy the best joke stuff only s few weeks earlier?" he asked shrewdly.

"If you're so hungry for praise, then maybe you should just prove it and get off my case! So shut up, James, because I will _not _be going to Hogsmeade with you." 

"Who said we were asking you to come with us?"

"You!"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes, you did, you said 'we should bring Lil…' Oh never mind," Lily said.

"I _suggested _it, but I didn't actually say you should come with us. I was just joking, and if it hurts you so much, then okay, I _will_ tell you that you aren't that good in shopping. There, are you happy now?"

"James Potter!" Lily shouted, her face red with anger. A few people partying looked at her.

"What? I thought that was what you wanted me to say--"

"You are so insensitive! I don't even know why I'm friends with you!" Lily turned around and ran off to the girls' dormitory.

Sirius and Remus stared at one another, then at James. 

"Like I said…" Sirius singsonged…

"Lovers' quarrel," Remus finished. They both laughed.

James glared at them. "Yeah, yeah, it's Pick-on-James Day… Why am I not surprised?" With that, he stalked out of the room through the portrait hole. 

The Fat Lady giggled after him, looking dangerously unstable after finishing her twenty-seventh glass of butterbeer mixed with 'wine' that Sir Cadogan had concocted. Both of them, along with some past headmasters and headmistresses were playing Pin the Tail on the Pony with Sir Cadogan's steed. It looked extremely nervous and attempted to leave the painting without much success.

Just as James disappeared around the corner another person was hurrying toward the common room with a camera in hand.

It was Peter Pettigrew.


	4. Classes

**Chapter 4: Classes**

  


Walking around in the corridors on a Saturday afternoon couldn't get any more boring. For the past hour James had wandered the halls, finally deciding to cut his exploration short when he accidentally stepped into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Although before that, he did have a fun time when he found a room filled with falling gold coins (Professor Kettleburn must have stowed leprechauns away for Care of Magical Creatures). He had picked up a bag of it, deciding to trick Sirius when he paid him back in leprechaun gold.

He had also discovered a room hidden behind a purple velvet tapestry; there was a hippocampus etched into the wall that asked for the password. Answering "Marauders," after a few other names, the hippocampus split in half (one part fish, the other lion) and a locked door revealed itself behind it. James had a harder time with this, because the lock didn't spring open when he did the Alohomora Charm, nor when he used a bent paper clip. He had to use a tricky spell that he read once in a book in the middle of a Charms assignment. When the door opened, the only contents of the room were a dusty couch in the corner and a thick book with a blue six-point star shimmering in the middle of the front cover. He decided to leave it untouched.

As he was strolling through the Transfiguration corridor, a classroom door burst open and Peeves glided out, carrying a bottle of unidentifiable liquid. A wide grin spread on his face as he spotted James, but not in the way you might seem to think.

"Hey, Peeves," James greeted. "Whaddaya have over there?"

"Long time no see, Potter," Peeves cackled in a buddy-to-buddy way. He swooped down next to James. "Heard what you did to slimy Snape. Best thing to do at a time like this, best thing." His eyes sparkled maliciously as he shook the bottle in his hand. 

"What're you going to do with that?" James asked uncertainly.

Peeves cackled again, sounding much more like his usual self. "Taking your lead, Jamsie. Those Slytherins've got a right nasty temper. Should be fun to pull a nice trick on 'em."

"Well, good for you," James said as they walked (Peeves glided) down the hall. "But what _is _that thing for anyway?"

"Oh, this? Just a nice formula made of stinkweed, essence of rafflesia, skunk juice and the bottled stench of a moldy old sock. Smelly, of course," Peeves snickered. "Good for perfume, this is. Should give stinky Slytherins the urge to take a good long bath."

James looked interested. "Where'd you get all that stuff? I'll be needing it for my potion." 

Peeves somersaulted in the air and dangled the bottle in front of James's face. "Top secret, that is. You wouldn't find it anywhere in Hogsmeade. But I _would _give you some if you behave like a good boy."

"And your standards of good are equivalent to wreaking as much havoc as you could in every possible second. I could do that." James rolled his eyes.

"Fine then. I'll give it to you, but it'll make you stink for days," Peeves said gleefully. "You should save the smell in a jar and let it out during class. That'll be fun!!!" (Peeves sure is acting weird in this scene.)

"I'll think about it," James said. He waved as Peeves glided away and attacked a group of second-years that were coming out of the library.

Shrugging, James turned to head back to Gryffindor Tower.

*****

Peter eyed the tipsy Fat Lady nervously. 

"_Hic! _Password?" she asked, the words coming out in a sluggish voice.

"Twiddlethumbs," Peter replied tonelessly, and she swung forward to admit him. He climbed into the portrait hole, and a blast of noise reached his ears.

It took a few moments to register what he was seeing (and hearing). A dozen or so fireworks were jetting around the common room, like small, flying Blast-ended Skrewts. He dodged one just in time and the firework whizzed past into the hallway, disappearing around the corner and spurting a jet of sparks behind it as it passed. 

"Butterbeer! _Hic! _More sugar!"

"We've run out of it, I think Remus went to get some more from the kitchens…"

"Wheeee! Bluebell bubble attack!"

"You're such a delicate boy…"

"Watch ou--! Oh, so that's what happens when Droobles Best Blowing Gum explodes in your face."

"But the ad said they refused to pop for days!"

Boom! "Exploding Snap, anyone?"

"Who'd want to do that with eleven firecrackers on the loose?"

"Sirius said he was going to light some more…"

"Of an emotional landslide…"

"Who wants more Cockroach Cluster?"

"Yechhh, can't believe you actually _ate_ that."

"Go baby, go, go! Oh, we're right behind you…"

"You okay, Lionel?"

"Ugh, I think that was fertilizer flavor…"

More chatter, more screams, more demands and more we-hate-gay song lyrics erupted from different groups as Peter walked past his fellow Gryffindors. What was _wrong _with these people? Did they suddenly all go psycho in one night?

Peter almost tripped on a third-year girl who was playing Spin the Bottle with the rest of her demented friends. They were all giggly and looked like they had one too many bottles of beer. 

"So, Peter, care to join in the fun?" a cheery (yet slightly slurred) voice said behind him. He jumped, turned around and saw, with a relieved sigh, that it was only Martin Kimball. 

"Yeah, I didn't know there was a party. What are you guys celebrating, anyway?"

Martin laughed. Peter took a step back, even a fourteen-year-old who drunk too much butterbeer would terrify the wits out of him. "You don't know, man? Snape practically transformed into an ugly looking--"

"Why, hello, Peter. Would you like to have some butterbeer?" Remus held out a foaming tankard, smiling. He didn't look unstable at all. 

"Th-thanks," Peter said gratefully, taking a swig. 

"As I was saying," Martin said, glaring at Remus, "In the Great Hall--"

"I think Peter would like the short version, Martin," Remus interrupted dryly. "Come on, Pete. Let's sit down somewhere and talk."

Remus steered him toward the plush armchairs by the fireplace where Lily and Chase Tarlise were deep in conversation. Sirius was crouched behind Lily's chair, listening in.

"Hey Lily, Chase," Remus said. The two girls stopped talking and looked at him. "And Sirius."

Lily raised her eyebrows and glared at Sirius. She kicked him in the shins.

"Ow! Vicious _and _brutal," he complained, reaching for his wand and performing an anti-pain spell.

"That's because you're a nosy, eavesdropping bastard," Lily snarled at him. 

"I didn't hear anything interesting, anyway," Sirius said. "Just boring talk on the new Charms curriculum and even more boring talk about make-up. Dull."

"Well, we didn't force you to it. Now you're whining about doing things with your own free will." Lily plopped back down on the chair. 

"Why don't you just tell me what you and Celes were fighting about?" Sirius huffed, sitting down on the chair opposite her. 

"Why don't you just mind your own damned business?" Lily countered.

"You're just mad about the James crack."

"And is it my fault that you keep teasing me about it?"

"If you _didn't _like him in more-than-platonic terms, then you wouldn't be as defensive as you are now."

"I don't like talking about relationships with my _best friend. _God, is that so wrong?" Lily said. 

"Okay, okay, we won't tease you about it anymore. Scout's honor."

"You're not a scout," Chase cut in, sipping her sherry.

"You didn't have to point it out," said Sirius, exasperated. Then his eyes lit up. "Hey, I know! Why don't you just tell me what they fought about? You're Lily's best friend and Celeste's twin, so they must have told you or you must've heard them fighting--"

"You never did tell me why you and Celes have different last names," Remus added. 

"Maybe tomorrow. I don't feel like retelling it today," Chase said, rolling her eyes. 

"So what _did _they fight about?" Sirius prompted her. 

"That's their deal, I don't want to blab about their personal business," Chase refused. "If you can't get one of them to spill it, then that's your problem."

Sirius sighed. His eyes landed on Peter. "Decided to come out of hiding, didn't you?" he said in a not quite biting voice, probably because of the number of people present. Remus shot him a warning glance.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Peter said nonchalantly.

"Where've you been since four in the morning anyway? Trying to get some nonexistent work done in the library? Or purposefully avoiding your _friends?_" Sirius said, putting more stress on the word 'friends.'

"O-of course not!" Peter stammered back. "I was just…researching a bunch of stuff for our next practical joke. But I don't remember you telling me about the one you pulled on Snape." He frowned.

Sirius stared him down. "If you stuck around long enough to hear about it, then I doubt we would have left you out. Besides, weren't you planning to be a _prefect _next year? Is that why you spent the last eight hours in the library? Or maybe you're practicing your teacher's pet act, like telling on us about that fight on the Hogwarts Express," he said in a cold voice. The portrait hole opened and James entered the room. 

"What's up, you guys?" he asked. He tentatively looked over at Lily, who scowled defiantly back. James averted his gaze and looked at Peter. "Hey, Pete."

"Hello, James," Peter squeaked. Probably one of the people he feared most was Sirius, since he was so _tall_ and could be menacing when he wanted to. But James, though equally brilliant, was nicer and more considerate than his best friend.

Peter saw Sirius give James a look. James shrugged. 

"Done anything productive in the last fifteen minutes, Jamie?" Sirius said.

"Oh….yeah! Peeves said he'd give me the stuff for my potion. All the ingredients certainly wouldn't be found in the Hogsmeade Apothecary," he pointed out. 

"Peeves? Peeves the Poltergeist?" Remus said in amazement. "You didn't just say that _he'll _give you that stuff?"

Lily huffed. "Yeah, he'll give it all right. In the form of Reeking Repellant."

"Since when have you and Peeves been buddies?" Peter asked.

James frowned. "I dunno. Maybe it was because he always saw Sirius and me causing trouble, so he decided to be our friend or something. Why? What's wrong with that?"

"Not much. Consider yourself lucky that you won't be two walking water-balloon targets for the rest of your school life," Chase commented.

"That's a relief," Sirius said sarcastically. He glanced at his watch. "One and a half hour till lunch. Come on Jamie boy, I need to show you the list of ingredients." The two of them headed toward the boys' dormitory.

Peter stared around at the ones who remained. "So, fill me in on this gay Snape stuff."

*****

Monday came faster than they thought. The weather was so bad that the only thing the marauders felt like doing was sleeping in. Of course, they couldn't though. That didn't mean they didn't try.

"James, wake up! It's 8:45…fifteen minutes until the start of Herbology! Hurry!" Peter squeaked loudly, shaking the black-haired boy hard. The only result he got was a mumbled "Three more minutes, mum." 

Peter sighed and moved on to Remus. He did the same thing, but with no success either. "Remus, it's midnight and there's a full moon!!! Wake up or you're going to attack us all--" he screamed in Remus's ear, and he woke up with a start. 

"What? It's midnight already? But--where's Madame Pomfrey? What are you doing? Get out of my way, I'm going to transform any minute…" Remus pushed back the hangings on his bed and looked out the window. "Hey, it's morning!"

"Yes it is, get dressed or we'll be late for class!" Peter said impatiently. "Wait--don't do that, wake up Sirius and James. I'm going to have breakfast." He grabbed his bag and went out of the dormitory, leaving Remus with the heaviest sleepers in Britain. 

"I can't wake them up by myself!" Remus yelled after him, but he was gone. Remus sighed. Pulling on his robes, he hurriedly grabbed his wand and shouted _"Aquaeus!"_

A bucket of water suddenly appeared above Sirius, and with another wave of Remus's wand, it flipped over drenched Sirius with ice-cold liquid. Sirius yelled and jumped from his bed, getting ready to punch whoever did the crime. "Wh-who the b-bloody h-h-hell did that?!" he chattered, looking wildly around the room for the person who dared disturb his beauty sleep.

"Me, you dozing dummy. Wake James up, and you'd better step on it," Remus said, jamming his hat on his head. "See ya!" He was gone.

"Some Monday morning," Sirius grumbled, pulling his socks and shoes on. He glanced at James, still snoring on the bed. "And what are you dozing about? Wake up, James!" James just turned over on the bed.

Sirius strode across the room next to James's bed. "Hel-lo-o! Wake up, sleeping monstrosity! That's not fair!" He shook James, but to no avail, just like Peter. Punching, drenching, and sparks were useless, as he attempted them all in failure.

Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was _three_ minutes before Herbology. "Holy--Just wake up already, dammit!" Sirius cried, and when he only received a wheeze in return, he jumped on the bed and stepped on James's chest. "Wake--up--we're--going--to--be--late--!" he said, jumping each time he spoke a word. Just when he thought he should just leave him there, James grabbed his ankles and threw him off. 

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" James shouted furiously at him.

Sirius tapped his watch. "Three minutes, Jamie boy. Rem told me to step on it."

James glanced down at the shoe marks on his nightshirt. "You didn't have to take that phrase literally," he mumbled, jumping off his bed and changing into his robes. 

"What are you talking abou--oh. Well, it was the only way to wake you up," Sirius explained with a shrug. He dug around his trunk for his morning-class books, Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. "Come on, hurry up!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" James asked sardonically. He fetched his own books and the two of them hurried past the dormitory and the deserted common room.

*****

Five minutes later they slid next to Remus, Lily and Peter in Greenhouse Five, uttering a quick apology to Professor Sprout. The three of them were trying to feed a Biscupiflow plant, a fanged shrub that wouldn't have been out of place in Hagrid's garden. An assortment of insects and smaller plants were littered around their tray. 

"Your robes are back-to-front, James. Didn't you even _shower, _at least?" Lily said incredulously, wrestling the Biscupiflow into another pot.

"Gee, thanks for your concern, Lil," James deadpanned as Magnus Tristan of Ravenclaw handed him a Biscupiflow. 

Professor Sprout strolled over to their tray. "No talking, you two! Handling Biscupiflows is a very serious matter, an unattended plant can easily attack. Their poisonous fangs can put you out for days, if not weeks." She said the last sentence out loud to the class. "Yes, but their roots make a very powerful ingredient in potions and quite a number of medicines. Would anybody care to tell me certain uses of this plant?" She walked away from the marauders as Celeste Schoharie recited the answer. 

"What's our schedule after lunch?" James whispered, glancing at Professor Sprout. His and Sirius's Biscupiflow lashed at them viciously.

Remus checked his schedule. "Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic and Arithmancy for me," he read.

Sirius cramped a large lotus into the Biscupiflow's mouth. "I have Ancient Runes that time. So do James and Lily," he told them.

"Peter has a free period after History of Magic, doesn't he?" James said. "How come you didn't take three extra subjects for this year, Pete?"

Peter knocked away his Biscupiflow's groping vines. "Arithmancy makes me dizzy," he answered. 

"Yeah, you always did seem out of it during the afternoon sessions," Remus agreed as he sprinkled his plant's open mouth with sesame seeds.

"Then that means we'll have Divination tomorrow," Lily groaned. "Trelawney's going to bore us to death again…"

"No, that's Professor Binns's call," Sirius corrected. "Trelawney's going to waste away her life in a bunch of crackpot junk in that tower of hers. Real life doesn't ask for crystal balls and perfume-overdosed attics."

"Wise words from an Astronomy god," Remus chuckled. "Speaking of Astronomy, what day are we going to have that one?"

"I think they moved it to Thursday," Peter said. He was running out of things to feed to his Biscupiflow and had to move away several feet so that it couldn't bite him.

They worked throughout the rest of the class. In the end, a Ravenclaw girl, Hilary Duncan, got bitten on the arm and was sent to the hospital wing; Peter almost suffocated when his and Lily's Biscupiflow wrapped its thick long vines around him; Chase Tarlise narrowly escaped two Venomous Tentaculas that tried to assault her at once; and Celeste, who hadn't been as lucky, ended up with a deep gash in her right arm. Professor Sprout had taken her and Hilary to Madame Pomfrey and dismissed the class ten minutes earlier. 

Still, there was no time to spare, today's lesson in Care of Magical Creatures was to take place near the Forbidden Forest, and was a good distance away from the greenhouses. The whole class arrived there with red faces, having climbed over a series of small hills along the way. The Hufflepuffs stood chatting and leaning on the fence surrounding a paddock. 

Professor Kettleburn wasn't there yet, so they had a moment to catch their breath. There was absolutely nothing in the stretch of grass inside the fence, except for a few dozen glowing flying things, quite similar to the fireflies one sees at night. The only difference was that they flashed from blue to lavender to pink every now and then, and their antennae were long, springy stuff with deviant shapes on the ends.

"Good morning, class. I'm sorry for the holdup, just went by to the hospital wing…" Professor Kettleburn said to them. His whole right leg was covered in bandages, and a green liquid stained the white cloth.

"What's that green stuff on your leg, Professor?" Sirius asked innocently.

Kettleburn looked down at his leg. "Oh this? Just a nasty encounter with Professor Sprout's giant Tentacula in Greenhouse Seven… I was going to get some Mandrakes for a Petrified creature," he explained. He stroked his beard. "Creatures, actually. It was extremely lucky that I caught some in the last week of the summer break."

"So…where _are _the creatures, Professor?" Lily asked impatiently. The whole class nodded in agreement.

"Ah yes, the creatures." With a wave of his wand, Professor Kettleburn conjured two crates that landed safely onto the damp grass. It was a huge relief that the rain had stopped in the last half hour of Herbology, or they would've cursed the weather gods or whoever gave them the schedule, at least. The professor opened the crates and beckoned the class to come closer. 

The students crept forward uncertainly. In their last lesson, Professor Kettleburn had brought in animals that looked like mutated salamanders that breathed fire. It wasn't like any of their usual lessons. Kettleburn had told them that they were going to encounter more dangerous creatures from fourth year up, and that they had to be prepared.

"Prepared, my foot," Sirius had muttered as he came out of the hospital wing with a shiny burn on his back. A particularly large fire-breathing monster had attacked him from behind.

"Kettleburn must have taken a leaf out of Hagrid's book," Lily groaned, rubbing ointment on her injury.

"He's always wrestling with fanged, horned-tongued brutes, and look what it gave to him. One ripped arm, two broken legs, a twisted ankle, and I'm pretty sure St. Mungo's Hospital had put him in once with a head contusion. And he calls it fun and work," James had remarked in disgust. Back then, he was the only one in Gryffindor third year who had come out of the lesson unscathed. 

Back to the present, Professor Kettleburn had let out a few round creatures with silvery, moist skin and white bellies that had blue spiraling lines toward the center. Their eyes were big and varied in color, and they had two clawed feet and a horn on their foreheads. They had a long, thin tail with a few pointy crystals on the tip. 

"Dridiones," Kettleburn said to the class. "Very speedy and sensitive. One faint noise in the quiet of the forest and they flee like deer. Needs a good Petrify Curse to capture one. Go on, get one for yourself and we'll climb into the paddock."

The class gingerly picked up their individual dridiones. At first sight, their skin looked wet and slimy, but when touched it felt quite dry. Climbing over the fence, they settled their creature on the grass. 

"Now, the first thing you've got to know about dridiones are that they're shy. Don't shout or yell at them, no matter what. It's extremely hard to spot one in the forest, even if that is their natural habitat. These ones are a little confused after being Petrified, so it calms them a bit. They have a strange connection with these here prismatic insects. Your assignment is to find out why the two species are connected, and write your observations in a table. I'll give you time for the rest of the week to observe your dridione, for today, we'll just see and try to figure out their correlation."

He let the class wander around different corners of the paddock, and it gave the marauders time to escape into an area of their own. 

"The crystals on the tips of their tails have magical properties. If you feed them the wrong food, a beam of rainbow-colored light will emit from their tail and head for your direction. Studies show that this beam is so far unblockable by any spell and can lead to dangerous complications. Much to the misfortune of many trained wizards…"

"I say we just let the dridiones eat the psychedelic flies and the task's as good as done," Sirius confirmed, looking up at all the flies and trying to catch one. 

"Yeah, but I doubt Kettleburn will give you a perfect 10 if your dridione eats one of his rare specimens," James said with a smirk.

"You wouldn't exactly call this lot _rare, _could you?" Remus said, waving his hand at the bug-infested field. His dridione was looking up at him in a suspicious way.

As Professor Kettleburn walked past, they heard him go on with the lecture. "Dridiones have a special ability that can sense what other creatures feel. They can also identify if there is a creature in disguise, a very useful ability in case any of their predators are lurking nearby camouflaged. Some of these are…" He droned on and on.

Sirius groaned. "This is so boring. We could get started with your potion, James, or do a prank or something. Anything to get away from Kettleburn's sibilant droning on mimicry and disguise--"

"How'd you think he'll react if I feed my dridione one of your inventions?" Remus asked with interest.

"It'll probably zap you or something…"

"Oh, yeah."

"Ask Lil to do it, the dridione'll do her a favor and might make her face look decent if it zaps her--" James started.

"Maybe you should consider yourself first, James," Lily snapped.

"Hey, it was only a suggestion," James said, holding up his hands. "Come on, feed it Sirius's pus-blob thingy--"

"It took me a month to make that!" Sirius protested.

"If you threw it at James's face, then maybe that'll make _him _look more--" 

"None of you are going to touch it until I let it loose in the Slytherin common room," Sirius interrupted.

"Why don't you just let it out right here, and the class will be more interesting," Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius's eyes lit up. "Hey, good idea! Wait, I put it in my bag somewhere…" He took out a thin, long metal box that occupied most of his bag.

"So that was what was in there, I thought you were going to give Celeste a present," James said.

"Shut up!" Sirius shushed him, eyeing Chase and Celeste who were only a few feet away. 

"Honestly, Sirius, I don't see the two of you together," Remus commented.

"And why is that?" Sirius said with narrowed eyes. His four friends had always known of his longtime crush on Chase's twin.

"You two are too different," Remus countered.

"How so?" 

"Like…she's studious, and you're not," James chimed in.

"I can be like that if I wanted to. Besides, didn't I make top marks in Astronomy and Ancient Runes last year?" Sirius argued.

"Three straight years in Astronomy, yeah," James agreed. "But we tied in Ancient Runes, remember?"

"See? Then we're both smart," Sirius said.

"No, you're not. We meant studious as in serious in studying. You, on the other hand, consider using the Wingardium Leviosa spell on Flitwick instead of the pillow an excellent job. Besides, you never study for Astronomy. It's in your genes to be good at it," Lily pointed out.

Sirius was about to say something, but Peter cut him off. "I've heard Celeste likes those earnest, stable types. She's not into guys that attract a lot of attention."

James let out a snort. "Sirius? _Earnest?_"

"You must have heard wrong, Peter," Sirius said icily. "And whatever you guys say, I _do _still stand a chance. Opposites attract, right? Look at Lily and James. Once the Christmas dance lets out, you'll see them waltzing off on the dance floor…"

"You and Celes getting together has as much chance as me and Lily, so in other words, there's _absolutely no probability,_" James said, stressing the last three words. He looked toward the twins' direction, and his eyes lit up. "Hey, I know! Why don't you just go for Chase? They're twins, so they're practically the same!"

"Great idea, James!" Remus conceded. "Why don't you try it out, Sirius?"

"No!" Sirius shook his head. "There are_ a lot _of differences between the two of them. Like Celeste has paler blue eyes and long, silky hair--" He trailed off, his eyes glazing over in a dreamy expression.

"Which is the same for Chase, except for the fact that she cut her hair shorter since she plays Quidditch," Peter pointed out.

"And she's more, how do you say this…graceful. Her movements are much more captivating than Chase's--"

"Because she's the one you always stare at, not Chase. Get a grip, Sirius," Lily said.

Chase and Celeste laughed in the distance. "I don't get you, Sirius. One of them's basically a clone, aside from the eyes. Even their _laugh _is alike," said Remus.

"You don't understand. She's got more flair, more--"

"Sex appeal," James said with a smirk.

"Exactly. Which makes the two of them totally different--"

"Boys, I don't see you observing your dridiones," Professor Kettleburn called out. 

"Sorry, Professor," James apologized. He looked back at his dridione and pretended to be totally engrossed in it, then checked behind him before talking to Sirius again. "Come on, guys, let's take a bet," he said, his face breaking into a grin. "Five Galleons for me that Sirius will be turned down by Celeste Schoharie the moment he asks her to a dance."

"You're on," Remus said. "I bet…let's see, six Galleons, fifteen Sickles and four Knuts that he'll be moping for a week, shut out in the dormitory before accepting the fact that he's busted."

Sirius scowled at them. "Thanks for the moral support. And I call you my _friends._"

"No problem," James replied. "What's your bet, Lil? What about you, Pete?"

Peter thought for a moment. "Okay. I bet the same thing James did, four Galleons and thirteen Sickles."

Lily grinned. "I bet that Celeste will accept Sirius's invitation. If she says no, then I'll pay all you guys double, and vice versa," she said confidently.

"Thank you, Lil!" Sirius exclaimed. He jumped up to hug his friend. "At least I've still got a real friend, unlike these three," he said with a glare in their direction.

"Actually, I was planning on telling her to just say yes so that I'll get a whole lot of money," Lily said with a smirk. Sirius instantly broke the hug.

"No fair!" James and Peter said at the same time.

"Isn't that called emotional blackmail or something?" Remus said with a frown.

"I knew it. Money-greedy traitor," Sirius mumbled, shuffling away from her.

"It's called _friendship. _Too bad for you," Lily said sweetly.

"If you're going to do that, then forget the bet," James huffed. 

"Awww, Jamie boy's a wuss," Lily drawled. "Coward, chicken, scaredy-cat--"

"I am not any of those things!" James hissed. Professor Kettleburn might hear them. His dridione's eyes flashed green.

"Don't call the bet off, then," Lily replied.

"That's _cheating, _and you know it, Lily Evans!" James said, raising his voice. His conscience had stopped nagging him. Who the hell would care, anyway? The class was almost over.

Sirius sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't just _ask _her to the ball so you guys would shut up and ridicule me to my face," he said angrily.

Remus patted him on the back. "Well, you know what they say, Sirius," he said seriously. "Love's the ultimate gamble." The four of them (Sirius excluded, of course) burst out laughing.

"Ha ha. I'm so glad that my problems are so laughable," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Yep. You should be grateful," James guffawed.

Sirius glowered. 

"Class dismissed!" Professor Kettleburn announced. The others cheered and headed back to the castle for lunch.

*****

After three (two for Peter) mind-numbing classes, and a satisfying dinner, the marauders reached the Gryffindor common room at last. Of course, for each respective person, at least one of the classes was interesting. Remus, for example, earned Gryffindor twenty points in DADA for answering four consecutive questions about curses correctly. (Unfortunately Sirius was deducted the same number of points, after he used the Boomerang Hex on his DADA book and it went for their professor.) Lily and James, who were very good in History of Magic, earned fifteen points each. (Unfortunately Sirius lost Gryffindor thirty points in the same class, because Professor Binns was in a bad mood that afternoon and deducted points from people who fell asleep in his class. Sirius was the first one whose face dropped flat on the desk.) Remus was glad when Arithmancy came, he couldn't stand another hour and a half wherein Sirius would take back the points he earned. During the five minutes before Ancient Runes started, one of Professor McGonagall's badgers that was recently used in her sixth-year class escaped and turned into a book, and James performed a difficult spell to transform it back into its true form. Professor McGonagall rewarded him thirty points (which, of course, Sirius took away after he hexed Avery in the same hall. Sirius was provoked but had a talent of making it look like he was the one who started it, so it cost him thirty points again. All in all, Sirius lost eighty points for Gryffindor that day.). 

"Eighty points, Sirius. God, can't you sit still long enough for us to actually _see _our hourglass with some sand in it?" James said in exasperation as they climbed up the stairs.

Sirius shook his head. "Hey, it wasn't my fault that McGonagall favors Slytherins more than those from her own House," he protested. "I swear, Ridgewood must've put some sort of potion in her tea so that her brain would be all fuzzy."

Peter panted as they entered the dormitory. "Look at the bright side. At least he only lost the points that you earned, if it happened when you didn't get any points, Gryffindor would be behind Hufflepuff," he pointed out.

"I wouldn't stand the shame," said Remus. "Being behind Hufflepuff…"

"Don't think like that," Sirius snapped. "Fine. If it makes you so despondent, then I'll recover the lost points tomorrow." They reached their dormitory and he opened the door for them. 

"That is, if you don't lose points on Wednesday…" James trailed off as he entered the room, walking behind Sirius.

"Wednesday!" Remus said suddenly, slapping a hand to his forehead. 

"What about it?" Peter asked disinterestedly.

"We have detention then," Remus explained. James groaned and Sirius scowled (at Peter). 

"Oh. I see," Peter said, carefully avoiding Sirius's heavy glare. "Well, time to hit the sheets--"

"Aren't you going to do your homework?" James asked.

Peter waved a hand in a dismissive way. "I did it when you guys had your extra class."

"Lucky. I still have to finish a three-foot essay on where to find Alarmaic Runes in the Middle East, thanks to Sirius," James said, looking pointedly at his best friend. 

"It's always me, isn't it?" Sirius said sarcastically. 

"Yes, it is," Remus said reverently. 

"Don't forget, I have to do that one too," Sirius reminded James.

"And so does Lily," James replied. "I bet we'll be up all night making that essay. There's over five thousand pages in our book…"

"Then look in the table of contents!" Sirius retorted. "Jeez, you should use your CS."

"CS?" James looked puzzled.

"Colossal Stupidity," Remus said with a yawn.

"No, you nitwits! Common sense," Sirius said. "Honestly, do I always have to spell it out for you?" 

"Yep. That's because they have _CS_," Peter said with a laugh. He climbed into bed and drew the sheets up to his chin. ""Night, you guys," he said.

"Wait a minute," James said. "Where's your stuffed rabbit? Carrot?" 

Remus snorted. "You mean, he _still _keeps that ratty old thing?" 

"He's not a ratty old _thing,_" Peter protested. 

"It probably looked like something fit for the trash bin for his mom, so she must've threw it out," Sirius said.

"Don't call him 'it!' He's got a name too, he's Carrot, and if he heard you, you'll hurt his feelings--"

His three friends laughed. "Hurt its _feelings_?" the three of them said in unison.

"Rubbish like that? Have _feelings?_" Sirius said, his voice a mixture of pity and amusement.

"Now, you're going too far, Pete," Remus laughed.

James patted him on the back. "It's okay, Pete. You'll grow out of the little boy phase soon. See? You already let go of that bunny thing--"

"He's not just a _thing!_" Peter shouted. "He's _Carrot, _and he's not here 'cause mummy sewed his ears back for me! She's going to send him back in the owl post any day now--"

"No amount of mending and darning could turn that rag toy into a cuddly stuffed animal," Sirius sniggered.

"Just stop it!" Peter yelled, turning over on his stomach and covering his ears with his pillow.

The door creaked open. "What's going on?" said Martin. "I heard you yelling."

"Don't worry, Mart," Sirius said. "Those were just the calls of an insane wild cat that claims a dead, rotting hare."

Martin looked at him skeptically. "What's he talking about?" he asked Remus.

"Oh, you know Sirius," Remus answered casually. "He's got CS."

"CS?"

"Never mind." 

Martin shook his head. "You guys are weird. I'm going to bed."

"Best idea I've heard you say all day," Sirius said cynically as he walked past to collect a few rolls of parchment and a new bottle of ink from his trunk. 

"Aren't _you_ going to do your homework?" James asked, dumbfounded.

Martin yawned. "Did it right after History of Magic." He stretched his arms and jumped onto his bed. "Now, if you're not going to go to sleep, leave us be," he added, gesturing at Peter. He still had the pillow over his head, but they could hear loud snores emanating from underneath it. 

"Yes sir," James answered, raising his hand up to his forehead in mock salute. "May you rest in peace."

"Shut up," Martin yawned. He flipped onto his other side, his back facing the marauders. 

"Good night to you too," Remus said. 

His only answer was a snore.

James shrugged. "I know when we're not wanted," he said dryly. "Let's go."

"Best idea I've heard you say all day," Sirius told him automatically. They swept out of the room, down the stairs and into the almost empty common room. Lily wasn't there yet.

"You already said that," James reminded. 

"When have I said it to you before?" Sirius countered.

"You said it to Martin, you dolt," James said, smacking the side of Sirius's head. He and Remus laughed.

"Ow! You know Jamie, even when you _say _that you would never get too close to Lily, I don't think you're telling the truth." James stopped laughing at once. 

"Why do you think _that?_" James asked, folding his arms.

"I mean, you're starting to act just like her, lamebrain," Sirius said. "You know, hitting me, talking to others in a harsher-than-thou way--"

"I have not been talking to others in a harsher-than-thou way," James said. "Don't you remember? That's your and Lil's department, so if ever I have picked it up from one of you, it would be _you_, Sirius, not Lily, because as my best friend you're with me more times than--"

"All right, all right, stop blubbering already," Sirius interrupted. He glanced at Remus. "See what love can do to people, Rem?"

Remus shook his head amusedly. "Tragic."

"Whatever you guys say, I'm not going to listen to you," James said. He ran off ahead of them. 

"He's in denial," Sirius said. 

"Poor guy," Remus said at the same time. Both of them laughed.


	5. Breakfast Blues

**Chapter 5: Breakfast Blues**

  


"What are you two laughing about?" a female voice called from the girls' staircase.

"It's because of their _CS, _Lil," James said, turning around to face her. But it wasn't Lily he saw.

Celeste, carrying a stack of thick books, looked confused for a moment. "Lil?" Her facial expression turned to one of slight anger, but she said nothing.

"Oh, sorry about that, Celes," James apologized. He looked pointedly at Sirius, who (unsurprisingly) adopted a cool demeanor. "What're you doing down here so late?" He indicated the few people milling around near the fireplace.

Celeste shrugged. "Just homework, I guess," she answered, holding up the books to emphasize her answer.

"Well, what a coincidence," Remus said, exchanging an amused smile with James, then glancing at Sirius. "We were going to try to tackle some of those too."

"Seems like you've got quite a load there," James added. "Why don't you let _Sirius _help you carry those thick books? I'm sure he'd love to give you a hand," he suggested slyly, pushing Sirius forward.

Sirius stumbled and straightened up in front of her. "Er--need a hand?" he asked rather apprehensively.

"Thanks," she responded, handing him a few books. She looked at James and Remus's direction and smiled. "Can I sit with you guys? Chase doesn't feel like doing homework tonight. She's a big procrastinator," she informed as they walked to a quiet corner of the common room.

"Um--sure," Remus said uncertainly. He had just spotted Lily coming toward them, preoccupied with the task of completing a complicated-looking chart for Ancient Runes. 

"Hey guys," Lily said without even looking up. 

A spasm of ire crossed Celeste's face. Lily looked up, saw her former best friend glaring at her, and narrowed her eyes for a split second. Then she smiled in an obviously forced way.

"Celeste," she said in the most nonchalant voice she could muster, somewhere between unsubstantial hostility and strained (in a more subterranean level of) friendliness.

"Lily," Celeste replied in the same tone, yet there was more contempt behind her voice. 

Just like in the Great Hall, the group was at a loss for words for a minute. Lily and Celeste, on the other hand, looked ready to claw each others' eyes out. 

"Er--shall we go on, then?" Remus asked uncertainly. The others nodded, and they took their seats. Celeste and Remus had so many books that they all had to take two tables. Sirius, Remus and Lily sat in one while Celeste and James sat in the other. Lily took the seat farthest from Celeste. 

For an hour, the five worked in silence, except for occasional questions from Celeste addressed to James on the different kinds of elemental amulets that are found in powerful sealing chambers deep underground Europe. James gave her a detailed explanation of the topic while Celeste smiled and nodded to his words.

The three on the table didn't fail to notice their conversation. Sirius kept shooting jealous glances at James while Lily gave Celeste sporadic death glares every now and then. Remus seemed to be the only one who understood the whole situation, but chose to ignore it while he finished his Arithmancy assignment.

After another thirty minutes of studying different books about dridiones from the library, they finally decided to call it quits. Lily was the first one to bolt, finding no rational reason to walk to the girls' dormitory with Celeste. Celeste took her time in gathering her things, putting as much time and distance between her and Lily as she could. She asked James to help her, who politely agreed. Sirius saw green again, but Remus hooked an arm around his shoulders and refrained him from…doing something that he might regret later. 

"Thanks for helping me with homework, James," Celeste said in an unmistakably flirtatious voice. The two were walking behind Sirius and Remus, who were listening in, pretending to have a conversation of their own. 

"Uh, no problem," James replied, avoiding her gaze. 

"Do you think you could help Chase and me tomorrow night?" she asked.

James tried to avert his eyes from Celeste's puppy-dog ones. "I don't know. I might be busy tomorrow," he hedged.

"But if you were free, would you help us?" she said unrelentingly.

"I'm really not sure. Why don't you ask Sirius?" he tried. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

Celeste shook her head. "I don't know about that. Doesn't he have detention tomorrow night?" 

Sirius cursed himself inwardly for his wrong timing to cause trouble, and Remus chuckled at the irony. Too bad for Mr. 'Cool and Unaffected.'

"What about Remus?" James said, not giving up either. 

"Well…maybe Chase would like that," she answered thoughtfully. Remus froze up.

James, seeing this, grinned. "And why is that?" he asked mischievously.

"Oh, it's just that--never mind. Just tell me if either of you is free tomorrow, okay? Thanks again for your help." She bid the three of them good night before bouncing up the girls' staircase.

James caught up with his friends, who were already halfway up the stairs. "Wait up!"

Upon reaching them, he walked beside Sirius. Sirius glared at him.

"What? What have I done now?" he asked in a bewildered tone.

"He thinks Celeste fancies you, and he fancies Celeste, so…" Remus trailed off.

"Oh, that," James said, turning beet red. "It's not my fault she likes me," he said defensively. "Besides, _I'm _not interested in her. So what's your problem?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius just scowled. "You're going to ruin my chances with her," he accused. 

James shook his head in frustration. "I told you, _I don't fancy her. _The only way that I would be ruining your chances, or whatever, is if I liked her too. And I _don't_," he added when Sirius frowned again. 

"Yeah, he doesn't because he fancies _Lily,_" Remus cut in.

"I could say you're in the same situation too, _Chase,_" James retorted.

"I believe you're mistaken, James. I'm _Remus,_" Remus corrected, though his face turned crimson at the mention of the name. 

"Yeah, right, but soon it's going to be RemusandChase," Sirius chimed in. He looked like he was starting to accept Celeste's interest in James. After all, as long as it was one-sided, there was nothing to fear, right?

Remus pushed opened the door. "Will you two shut up? If Celeste likes James and he doesn't, is there any reason why you can't swallow the fact that Chase and I are the same way?" he asked hotly. Of course, he didn't _like _Chase, not as more than a friend, anyway. He had other things to occupy his mind with at this age, and unlike Sirius, he was sensible enough to keep his emotions in check. Although this conversation _was_ making him feel a little sick.

"What's wrong with a little excitement in your life, Rem?" Sirius pressed.

"I thought _practical jokes _were your idea of excitement in life, Sirius," Remus said. 

"Yeah, that too. But pranks aren't life."

"You said so in our second year."

"I was twelve then!"

"You were clever enough to know what obligations in life are more important than others."

"No, I was not, and so were you."

"Yes I was, don't you remember me telling you that when you said that pranks are life in second year?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, you should, after hearing the last thee sentences I said."

"But I was _twelve years old_ then!"

"You're saying the same thing all over again."

"Did I?"

"Didn't you?"

"Don't remember."

"You didn't, but I did."

"Oh, shut up already!" Sirius cried, throwing up his arms. "Fine, if you're so defensive on the matter then we shall not pursue it further."

"Quite formal words from a Prankster King," James quipped.

"You zip your lip too," Sirius told him. 

"Okay, but I would just like to point out that you--"

"Let's just go to sleep, and we'll talk about all this tomorrow," Sirius interrupted. 

"The day before detention," James said darkly.

"No, it's not. I have detention tomorrow," Sirius corrected.

"Who said I was talking about you?" 

"Who said you weren't?"

"Isn't it understandable that I was talking about the four of us?"

"Four? There are only three here."

"Duh. I'm talking about Lily, of course."

"Oh yes, how could I forget about your girlfriend?"

"She is not my girlfriend!"

"Not yet, but you have been accepted the right to be called a couple--"

"Which, in fact, you and Celeste are not."

"Are you saying that you and Lily are indeed an item?"

"No, because we aren't."

"It doesn't show."

"How doesn't it show?"

"The fact that you two are always arguing like an old married couple--"

"Old married couples don't fight like we do."

"You don't know about old married couples because you're not married yet."

"So are you."

"There are certain things that I know of more than you do and you'll just have to accept it."

"There are certain things that _I _know the logical explanation of that you'll never understand."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Is that supposed to convince me?"

"What does it matter? You're the one with the irreparable wreck of a brain."

"You wouldn't know that."

"I could too."

"How?"

"It shows."

"You mean, I have the ability to open up my head and show you my brain?"

"No. That idiotic theory is enough reason to say that you have an obsolete cerebrum."

"Then why do I always get top grades in Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures?"

"It's a mystery that has yet to be solved."

Remus cleared his throat. "Didn't you just say we were going to sleep?"

"--purely a coincidence that you can read the stars right," James was saying.

"It's in my blood!" Sirius said furiously.

"You have centaurs in your family?"

"No, you idiot! I think you're the one who needs a brain transplant."

Sighing, Remus shrugged and climbed into bed and tried to find a comfortable spot.

Sirius and James kept bickering at each other, long after Remus had finally fallen asleep.

*****

Tuesday morning in the Great Hall was like all other mornings in the Great Hall. Students from the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables kept passing the Gryffindor's, encouraging the marauders to 'do it again sometime.' This time, Peter was the one who slept late.

"Funny thing for a guy who slept the earliest in the dormitory," Sirius commented as he poured milk onto his cereal. "A glutton for sleep, that's what he is."

"Don't be so harsh on him, Sirius," James said. 

Sirius chomped on his breakfast and pretended not to hear him. A while later Lily sat down next to him (James was at his other side).

"You seem to be early today," she remarked.

"Their minds work upside-down. When they actually sleep early, they wake up late. When they sleep late, they wake up early. It's the conundrum of their anatomies," Remus said seriously.

Lily laughed. "Conundrum, huh? Maybe it's no riddle. Both of them _do _have colossal stupidity."

The three boys looked at one another and burst out laughing.

"What? What's so funny?" Lily asked, confused.

"N-nothing," Sirius gasped. 

"Nothing to you," Lily said haughtily. 

James stopped laughing. "Get a check-up, Lil. Maybe you're the one with _CS._"

Lily frowned. "What the hell are you babbling about?"

"You don't know 'cause you've got CS," Sirius sniggered.

"What are you guys laughing about?" a voice said behind them.

The four turned around and saw Chase. There was a chorus of 'hey's before she sat down opposite Remus. James and Sirius glanced at him astutely. Whether or not she purposely sat there was hard to figure out, but the two were leaning for the yes anyway. Remus glowered at them.

"'Morning, Chase," Sirius greeted, shooting cunning looks at Remus. 

"Where's your sister?" James asked, just for kicks. He almost laughed out loud at the others' reactions. Lily scowled at him, giving him a why-did-you-bring-_her_-up? look. Sirius was positively salivating. Remus appeared disinterested, and Chase looked worriedly at Lily.

"I don't know," she said finally. "She was awake when I got up. Probably still in the shower."

"What time did she go to the shower?" James asked. 

"About thirty minutes ago."

"She showers _that _long?" he said incredulously.

Chase looked at him strangely. "Don't all girls do?" 

James shook his head. "The longest Lil ever took was twenty-five, and that was after we rock-climbed with the Blacks two summers ago."

Chase shrugged. "Well, you know Celes… She's too prissy and scrupulous sometimes."

"Looks like it," Remus remarked. 

Chase glanced at him. "Yeah. Back home, she used to take an hour blow-drying. Then she'd use curlers…and a bunch of beauty products that I wouldn't be caught dead applying. It's annoying sometimes how she's too fussy about her looks."

"I didn't know she was that vain," Lily commented.

"Oh, not necessarily. She's just a little shallow on pulchritude."

"Poultry-what?" James asked, befuddled.

"Pul--"

"Don't mind them, people like him are what we call the _adrenaline inculcated_," Lily interrupted.

"Come again?" Sirius said.

Lily looked at him for a moment. "Yup, him too," she nodded to Chase. Chase laughed.

"What is it with girls and their nonsense phrases?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"We don't speak nonsense, men are just superfluously inane," she snapped at him.

"Superfluously inane," James repeated. "Whatta phrase."

Remus chuckled. "It means exorbitantly stupid," he supplied.

Lily and Chase clapped. "Right on the money!" Lily cheered. "It's good to know that at least _one _male understands more complicated words."

Remus pretended to do a little bow. "Thank you, thank you."

Sirius glared at them. "We're not superflourly inant--" 

"Superfluously inane," Chase corrected. 

"Whatever," Sirius said. "All I mean is, we're not exorbitantly stupid."

"Yes, you are," Lily deadpanned.

"No, we're not!" Sirius yelled.

"So what does 'adrenaline inculcated' mean?" James said thoughtfully.

"Let me rephrase it more clearly," Lily told him. "It's the sickness of idiots."

"I'm not adrenaline inculcated!" James protested.

"If you weren't, then you would've understood what I said right from the start," Lily countered.

"And protested right away," Chase added. 

Sirius crossed his arms. "Well. It's not my fault that my vocabulary isn't as full as yours. You probably diligently read through the whole dictionary and thesaurus with lots of happy pictures that would better explain your--"

"Actually, the only pictures I saw were of you and James, and those were on the words 'asinine' and 'dim-witted'," Lily interjected with a smirk.

"I thought you reserved those special words for you and Snape," James said scornfully.

"How dare you!" Lily screeched at him.

Chase pointed behind her. "Hey look, here he comes now."

True to her word, Snape and his lackeys Avery and Nott were bearing down to the Gryffindor Table. Snape looked particularly malevolent today.

"Hey, Snape, have you come to court Philip McKinnon now?" a sixth-year Gryffindor called at him. Philip glared at the sixth year.

"Or maybe you're asking for tips on how to apply your makeup properly from one of the girls," another boy called out.

Snape glowered at them, but turned his attention to the marauders. Avery and Nott cracked their knuckles.

Sirius turned his seat around so he was facing the three Slytherins. "If it isn't the queer and his two shadows, Umbra and Penumbra," he said sarcastically. Avery glared at him but didn't throw a punch. Dumbledore was still at the High Table.

"Penumbra seems to be having a growth spurt," James added, looking at Nott. "Did you grow longer when the queer was in the spotlight last Saturday?"

"When are you going to host your next fashion show?" Lily asked, her eyes sparkling maliciously.

"I hope you add new recruits, having only one model is kind of boring," Chase chimed in. 

"Are you going to wear a halter bikini and a T-back, Snape?" Remus said with a pleasant smile.

Avery lunged at him, but Snape pulled him back by his robes, hissing something that sounded vaguely like "Are you crazy? Dumbledore's still here!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I make a mistake? I was going to say _fag,_" Remus taunted him.

Snape looked ready to explode. His hands shaking with rage, he took out his wand and yelled, _"Paralysis!" _

There was a flash of red light, and Dumbledore and the other teachers stood up. A murmur of assent passed through the Hall. The blinding light disappeared and they found Remus crouched inside a giant blue bubble-like thing that had obviously reflected the hex. 

Professor McGonagall moved the quickest. "Fifty points from Slytherin!" she shouted, her face red. At her heel was Professor Ridgewood, who was glaring at the Gryffindors. They reached the table and stood beside Remus.

"Are you all right, Lupin?" Professor McGonagall asked in concern.

"Yes, Professor," Remus replied, and when he waved his wand, the shield disappeared. 

Professor McGonagall turned to Snape. "What do you think you were doing?! Attacking a fellow student--Dumbledore watching--"

"He was insulting me, Professor!" Snape answered in revolt. "Mocking me that I was a fag--"

"Mocking or not, fighting is against the rules! You should have known better than to let him provoke you!" Professor McGonagall snapped at him.

"Minerva, do give the boy a chance. Do you not remember what Potter, Black and Lupin have done to Severus last Saturday? I suggest that you punish _them, _not--"

"I believe in treating my students fairly, Professor Ridgewood. Lupin will get a detention, and so will Snape--"

"_I _believe that is called favoritism, Professor McGonagall," Ridgewood interjected with a grim smile.

Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "Why don't you look into the folders in Apollyon Pringle's filing cabinet and see the number of cases your Slytherins have avoided punishment, Professor? I'm _sure _that _favoritism _didn't help them get away with the consequences," she said coldly. Professor Ridgewood couldn't find anything to say to that and beckoned Snape to follow him out of the Great Hall. Avery and Nott, seeing their 'leader' taken away, scurried back to the Slytherins, who were all glaring at Professor McGonagall.

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Professor M," Sirius remarked after Ridgewood and Snape had gone.

Professor McGonagall smiled at him. "There are a lot of things you do not know about your teachers, Black," she answered lightly.

Sirius's eyes glowed with interest. "Really? Do you have the goods on Ridgewood?"

"Professor Ridgewood to you, Black. And it isn't your business as to what he has done in the past."

"But he _did _do something, right?"

Professor McGonagall scrutinized him for a moment. "It depends," she replied. 

"Didn't he ever mess up something in his classes when he was a boy?" James asked.

"I was a student then myself, Potter. Now please, no more discussion of Professor Ridgewood's past. Twenty minutes until the first class, so do try to get to class on time. No side trips, Black," she reminded him. "For some strange reason Mr. Pringle's broom closet had bunnies and flowers painted on the walls with a baby blue background. You know how he hates those kind of things." She walked back to the High Table.

The group watched her retreating back. "How come _I'm _the only one she reminds about that?" Sirius demanded. "You helped me paint the broom closet, James, so why does she always think I'm the one who does everything?"

"Probably because you've got the most detentions since our first year," James said.

Sirius frowned. "Oh yeah? How many do you have, including the detentions you haven't served yet?"

"Since I was eleven? Wait a minute…" James started mentally adding his detentions. "792," he finally said.

"792?" Chase said in amazement. 

"Yeah," James said. "156 in first year, 370 in the second…and 264 in the third. I've got two detentions lined up this week, so that makes 792," he finished. "What are you so surprised about? Remus isn't that far behind, he has 784."

Remus half-smiled. "Well, I'm not the last. Lily has 649."

"649?!" Chase exclaimed.

"Yep. That proves that girls are wusses," James confirmed. 

"Better a wuss than a superfluously inane male," Chase shot back.

"That's getting old. Use another phrase," James said.

Chase paused. "I don't know. You're pretty good at Quidditch--"

"So true," James agreed with a smirk.

"I mean, you're an egotistical Seeker. Sirius's the thousand foul boy." Chase smirked.

"Thousand fouls? I don't do a _thousand fouls,_" Sirius ranted. 

"You're a Beater. Beaters always get a lot of fouls--"

"You don't count smashing someone's nose when they possess the Quaffle a foul," Sirius argued. "It's called doing a Beater's job on the Quidditch field."

"It doesn't look that way if you keep swinging the Bludgers at the referee, or, more specifically, your own teammates," Chase countered.

Sirius scowled. "It's not my fault Keith couldn't avoid the freakin' ball," he huffed.

Chase smirked and shifted her eyes at something behind Sirius. "Yo, sis," she greeted. Once again, different reactions could be read obviously from every face. 

This time, Chase didn't look worried. Annoyance was more of the word as she looked back and forth from her best friend (so Lily's both their best friend, okay?) and her twin.

Sirius immediately tried for the CCC look (cool, calm and collected), but his eyes were glazed over as he stared at Celeste.

A snap-out-of-it look was on Remus's face.

James looked at everything except Celeste's light ultramarine eyes.

Lily sighed and turned away with an indifferent expression.

Celeste was staring at James.

When nobody said anything, Celeste shrugged and walked to the other side of the table to sit next to Chase, opposite James. She speared a piece of pancake that had appeared onto her plate with a fork and started munching on it, still gazing intently at James.

"So, Jamie," Celeste began.

_Since when did she call James _Jamie_? _Sirius thought enviously. Sure, he didn't have a nickname, but that was beside the point.

James changed tactics and tried to look unconcerned, looking surprisingly like Lily. He glanced at Sirius once.

"Are you free tonight?" she asked casually. It was an innocent question, only when heard from her, it came out sounding like she was asking him for a date.

Sirius glared at James. "Uh…I'm not free tonight," James answered. Then he looked at Remus and his eyes twinkled. "Rem is, though."

This time it was Remus who glared at him. "No, I'm not," he vetoed.

"Yes, you are," Sirius jumped in. "You said that Professor Whatzisname wouldn't give you any homework in Arithmancy until next week. Our other teachers might give us assignments, but you finish them right away anyhow."

"Then where are _you _guys going to do all your homework?" Remus asked shrewdly. 

James shrugged. "Dormitory, I suppose."

"Then that means that you _are _free!" Celeste asserted. 

James shook his head. "Sirius and I are going to work on an experiment for a new joke," he explained. "We can't do that in the common room, where everyone will see us."

Celeste's mouth formed a pout. "Oh, all right," she said sulkily. She turned to Chase. "Guess it'll be Remus," she told her.

To the three boys' surprise, Chase shrugged. "James, Remus, whoever. Honestly, dear sister, I don't know why you even need someone to 'help' us with homework. You can do it perfectly well on your own."

Celeste gave her a look. Chase sighed.

"All I mean is, why do you go to such desperate lengths to--"

"I think we're done now," Celeste said loudly. "Let's go, Chase," she added, dragging her sister along.

"I'm not finished yet!" Chase protested, holding a half-eaten tuna sandwich in her slender hands. 

"You can finish it while we walk to class," Celeste answered. "Have you worked on your next…"

The marauders couldn't hear them anymore as they passed through the Hufflepuff Table. All of them couldn't fail to notice that a lot of boys' heads turned at Chase.

"Weird, I didn't know that Chase had that many admirers," James commented. "I thought they would go for Celeste since she's prettier and more effeminate."

Lily shook her head. "No, Celeste's just too obsessed with her looks. Sure, she's really good with makeup and all that other stuff, but she doesn't possess Chase's laid-back attitude and athletic ability on top of academic excellence."

"You make it sound like she's perfect," Sirius said with a frown. 

"Maybe not, but she's more fun to be with than someone who talks about how she spent _forever_ on choosing an outfit for the Spring Ball to her date," Lily retorted. "Trust me on this, Sirius. If you're looking for a girl that's best for you, pick Chase."

"But Chase is, you know, slightly sarcastic but a down-to-earth kind of girl," Sirius argued.

"So?"

"So she's not my type."

James looked bewildered. "You mean, your type is someone who is too concerned with her beauty that she might not notice you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at him.

"I don't know, Sirius," Remus told him. "If you're planning on going for Celeste, then shouldn't you be making a move now?"

Sirius held up his hands. "Some things just can't be rushed."

Lily looked at her watch. "We better go. Ten minutes till Charms." The four of them stood up and headed to their classroom on the third floor. 

As they climbed the stairs, James realized he hadn't told them anything about the mysterious room he found for three days already.

*****

The day passed slowly by and still Sirius didn't work up the courage to talk to Celeste, James hadn't told them about the chamber, Lily didn't tell them what she and Celeste had fought about, and Remus refused to do homework with the C twins. Thankfully, Chase stopped them in the hall before Divination and told him that he didn't have to go if he didn't want to.

"She just wanted James to come along anyway," she had said. "Now that he's out, having someone else there doesn't matter."

"Are you sure you don't want Remus to help you?" James asked her.

Chase glanced at Remus. "No offense, but we _do _know when and where all the goblin rebellions took place and how to transfigure armadillos into throw pillows, so we really don't need your help that much," she said.

Remus nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I understand," he assured her. Then he gave a triumphant grin to Sirius and James as Chase ran off to catch up with Celeste.

"See? She's not into me at all!" he said.

"You never know when she's just trying to be subtle," James pointed out. "You know, to keep you wondering. Then, when you start thinking that she should have come on to you and she didn't, she'll surprise you by…coming on to you."

Remus frowned. "Where do you get all your ideas?"

James shrugged. "It's called reverse psychology. Don't you know about that?"

"Why don't you just ask Lily if she really likes Rem?" Sirius suggested sarcastically. 

They all looked at Lily. "I don't know. Chase never told me she had a crush on someone, or…not that I can think of." Lily thought for a moment. "If you ask me, she doesn't have any non-platonic feelings for anyone," she declared.

"Good," Remus said. They reached the ladder connecting Professor Trelawney's classroom to the rest of the world. When they reached the attic/tea shop room, the rest of the class was already there. 

"You're late," Professor Trelawney said disapprovingly. 

"Well, if you just moved your class to another part of the school, then maybe none of us would have any trouble coming here," Sirius answered bluntly as the four of them sat down at one table that had four crystal balls on it ("I thought crystal gazing was over in our third year!" Sirius whined).

Professor Trelawney chose not to respond. "Today, class, we start to learn to consult the stars and the planetary movements. Astrology is one of the most difficult topics in Divination, but I sense that you are ready to handle the powers of your Inner Eye…"

James and Sirius stifled their chuckled as Professor Trelawney gazed their way. 

"We shall study about the different stars closest to Earth…"

"Excuse me, but did I get the directions wrong? I thought this was the Divination classroom, not the Astronomy Tower," James whispered to them.

"You are much mistaken, sir," Lily said with a straight face. "This is the private domain of an escaped mental patient from St. Mungo's Hospital of Magical Maladies and Injuries." The four of them laughed, causing Professor Trelawney to look their way when she was showing the class a crystal ball. The fog had cleared within it and was currently showing a small model of the solar system.

"My dears, I see that you are not concentrating your senses on your auras. I suggest that you look into the crystal ball and tell me what you see." The fog returned, and as it cleared, it showed a galaxy of stars spread out in all directions.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

"I see stars," James answered. The perfumes in the fireplace were much more potent than usual and were making him feel much more stupid.

"The Milky Way," Remus and Lily chorused.

"Heaven shining through a big black tapestry filled with little holes," Sirius replied. The whole class laughed out loud.

"You are not focusing! This is not the time for jokes and humor!" Professor Trelawney said furiously, losing her misty tone.

"But you told us to tell what we saw," James responded innocently. 

The Divination teacher glared at them. "Class, we shall now consult the stars about the things you will go through for the whole week. As you see, each of you has a crystal ball. Clear your mind of all thoughts except to know the future and soon the solar system would appear into the sphere…"

The marauders stared intently at their respective crystal balls for a few minutes. After a while, Sirius yawned and pushed his orb toward the middle of the table. "I think my Inner Eye is asleep," he said.

Lily was still looking at her foggy crystal ball. "There must be a nebula taking place in this ball," she told them. 

"Yeah, right. You're just saying that because it's still all thick with fog," James scoffed.

"I don't see the solar system in _your _orb, James," Lily pointed out.

"You can't see it," James informed her. "Only those who possess the true Inner Eye shall see within the depths of the fog--I mean, nebulae…" he added, mimicking Professor Trelawney's misty voice. 

"Like you're even capable of possessing the Inner Eye's eyelashes," Lily shot back with a smirk.

"This is stupid," Remus announced. He was the last one who had torn his eyes away from his crystal ball.

"Superfluously inane, even," James added with a sardonic smile.

"Yep. The only people who would ever do something like this are the adrenaline inculcated," Sirius said reverently.

Professor Trelawney appeared behind them. "I could hardly fail to notice that none of you, though good in academics, could even make the solar system appear in your crystal balls," she snapped at the four of them.

"Bet you could," Lily muttered darkly.

"I beg your pardon?" Professor Trelawney narrowed her eyes at her. 

"You don't understand, Professor," Sirius explained. "Those are nebulae--"

"I have had enough of your nonsense excuses! Black, sit with Ms. Findlay and Ms. Roscoe. Potter, sit with Pettigrew. Lupin, go to Kimball's table. Ms. Evans, I believe Ms. Schoharie can help you to properly make a model of the heavenly bodies in your Orb. For the rest of the year, this will be your seating arrangement."

Sirius and Lily scowled at her. 

_What an incredible bitch, _Lily thought bitterly as she headed to the twins' table.

_Idiot dragonfly, _Sirius thought. _She should have known better than to put me with these two bimbos. Why couldn't I have sat with Celeste?_

James and Remus had nothing to complain about. Peter and Martin were fair company and since Peter was one of James's best friends and Martin was their dorm mate, they got along well.

Sirius was having trouble concentrating. Kylie Findlay and Sylvia Roscoe were two of his biggest fans, and they were taking full advantage over the fact that he was at their table. All throughout the lesson they kept flirting and giggling, but frankly, Sirius only became annoyed and more turned off with the two of them. They weren't exactly (in his standards) pretty, anyway.

Lily was revolted at the fact that Trelawney assigned Celeste to help her, and while the two put up their act in front of their professor, Chase looked ready to raise the white flag and give up trying to persuade them to make up again. 

After one and a quarter hour of observing their crystal balls (James was busy counting the stars in his), the class was finally over. The four couldn't wait to get out of that stuffy place.

"Can you _believe_ her?" Lily seethed as she stormed back to the common room. Remus and Sirius had gone ahead of them, Sirius insisting that he really needed to eat and dragging Remus along to protect him from Kylie and Sylvia. 

"Knowing that she's the president of the Supremely Confounded Lunatics Society, yes," James answered lightly.

"You're just all happy because she didn't put you under any physical and emotional torture," Lily snapped at him. 

"Well, if you're so depressed, then why don't you just make up with Celeste and put a stop to your anguish?" James returned.

"You don't get it. It's not that simple," she replied quietly as Celeste descended the ladder. 

James looked from a blank-faced Celeste, to Chase who went down shortly after her, and to Lily, who had her arms folded defiantly. He waited until Chase said bye to Lily before responding. "It may not be simple, Lil, but it beats getting your energy drained whenever you're in the same room, let alone the same table with her. If you weighed it down, what's the better solution?"

Lily sighed, slightly surprised with the gentleness in James's voice. It wasn't usual for her 'friend' to divulge any words of wisdom, especially to her. Most of their conversations consisted of bickering and mockery, occasionally something that had to do with homework or their next trick. She never expected that he would still do this after the things the two of them had put each other through. "Maybe you're right," she finally said. 

James grinned. "Absolutely. I can't wait for the two of you to make up so you could tell her to get out of my face," he joked.

Lily swatted him with her _Unfogging the Future. _"Jerk," she said.

Avoiding the thick book caused him to collide with Martin Kimball. "All that perfume must be seeping into your brain, James," Martin said as he rubbed at his shoulder. "Sorry, Mart," James apologized.

As Martin disappeared down the spiraling staircase, the two followed suit. "Stand forth and fight, you dirty cur!" Sir Cadogan yelled. 

"You're losing your touch," Lily told him.

"And your sight, too. Curs are dogs, aren't they?" he asked Lily. Lily nodded.

"Those who flee are cowards! Dastardly recreants! You cannot escape your fates, you pusillanimous renegades!" Sir Cadogan shouted as they rounded the next set of stairs.

"Shut the bloody hell up!" James hollered back. 

They made their way back to the Great Hall. Upon reaching the Gryffindor Table, they noticed Sirius flanked by Kylie, Sylvia, and a few other girls from other Houses that were obviously their friends. Remus was nowhere in sight.

"You're so lucky!" a Hufflepuff fourth year gushed at Sylvia. "For the whole year, too. I wish Professor Kettleburn will make me Sirius's partner in CMC."

Sirius muttered the words 'I hope not." Then he noticed James and Lily standing there.

"Hey, Sirius," James greeted with an evil grin. "Are these your adoring fans?"

The girls all squealed and giggled.

"Oh. _Very _attractive," Lily murmured dryly to James. She ushered a Ravenclaw from her seat. "Excuse me, but I believe that there's another seat around that's calling your name. Somewhere around the Ravenclaw table," she told her. The girl scowled, but Lily could outlast that with an eyebrow raise any day. 

"Just one question, though," James continued, a smirk still plastered on his face. "Where were you all for the last four days?" Finding no seat of his own, he looked at Kylie, who was on the chair at Sirius's right. "Are you done eating?" he asked.

"Yes," Kylie replied, her eyes never leaving Sirius. 

"Mind if I sit down in your seat?" he said. "Oh! Sure." Kylie quickly stood up and went behind Sylvia's chair. 

Sirius glared at her. "I think I can eat by myself, thanks," he said icily to the group. The girls were unfazed but decided to leave the rest of their flirty antics to the next day, and they disappeared to a corner of the Hall where they could watch Sirius from a safe distance.

"Bad night, huh?" Lily said sympathetically.

"I think Sylvia and Kylie are looking for new recruits," James added. Lily shot him a look.

Sirius shoved food into his mouth as fast as he could. "All I can say is, shut up," he said through a mouthful of fried chicken. 

"Sure, but I would just like to inform you that your detention is still at nine, and you don't have to rush on the food," said James matter-of-factly.

"You would too if eight pairs of eyes are boring into the back of your neck," Sirius snapped at him. "Didn't you just say that you were going to shut up?"

"Where's Remus?" James asked. 

"In the common room, where else?" Sirius answered impatiently. "He left with the Chase and Celes," he added, and his brows furrowed.

"Ah, yes," James said cheerily, "His study date with two gorgeous girls--"

"Isn't there anything that will keep you from talking for a full minute?" Sirius said while stuffing his fingers into his ears. 

"There's a solution," Lily said, taking a bite out of an apple. With a swift motion, she stuffed it into James's mouth.

James spit it out a split second later. "Gross!" He made a face.

"What's gross? It's an apple," Sirius said mildly. 

"An apple with Lily's saliva contaminating it," James answered disgustedly, sticking his tongue out. 

Sirius grinned. "You mean, you kissed her informally?" 

James threw a chicken bone at his head. "Don't be such a dork."

"I'm not a dork. If I was, all the girls wouldn't want me," Sirius said somberly.

"You mean, all the ditzes," Lily corrected. 

"Whatever. Now, if you lovers will excuse me, I have a detention to serve," he confided, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

"Good luck then. And we're not lovers," James responded. 

Sirius slung his book bag over his shoulder. "Uh-huh. That's why you two had a pretty intimate conversation back at the North Tower," he called as he passed. 

Lily's face flushed, though James couldn't be sure if it was out of embarrassment or anger. "Ignore him," he advised.

"One…two…three…" she muttered vaguely, clenching her fists. 

"Come on, let's go back." He stood up and held out his hand. 

After counting to ten, Lily took it and smiled. Maybe there really was more than banter and practical jokes between them.

*****

Dimantrien: Awwww, ain't that sweet. Are you still reading? Review, please…. 

Chase: You mean, with sugar and chocolate sprinkles on top?

Dimantrien: Who ever invented that addition to 'please,' anyway?

Chase: Dunno, maybe the inventor was really hungry at that time then.

Dimantrien: Ha ha. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the fic!

Chase: I'm also your logo, and you're not supposed to treat me this way.

Dimantrien: You and Celeste are. I don't see _her_ popping into the author's note…

Chase: If you want reviews, why don't you just tell them that you won't post the next fic until they give you some?

Dimantrien: Because I don't work that way. Now, get lost.

Chase: You owe me for drawing all your sketches.

Dimantrien: I created you, and I was the one who drew all that, stupid! You're so…er…adrenaline inculcated.

Chase: And you're exorbitantly stupid.

Dimantrien: You know, those insults are getting pretty old.

Chase: Then why do _you _keep using them?

Dimantrien: I'm going to stop typing now.

Chase: That's not fai--

Dimantrien (smirks): As I was saying…

*Sirius pops out of nowhere*

Dimantrien (groans): What do you want?

Sirius: Why'd you change the characters so much?

Dimantrien: What about the characters did I change so much?

Sirius: You know…me having a crush on Celeste, girls fawning all over me…

Dimantrien: Why? Don't you like that?

Sirius: Well, the Celeste part was okay, except for James butting in, so--

Dimantrien: So there's nothing to complain about.

Sirius (sighs in exasperation): No! Why do I have to have a bunch of ugly sluts to admire me?

Dimantrien: Don't be so harsh. Fourteen-year-olds can't be _sluts. _Maybe airheads or bimbos, but nothing too brutal.

Sirius: Okay, airheads then. That doesn't change the fact that they're annoying and turn flirtation into an art form.

Dimantrien: Yada, yada, yada. Now, will you _please_ go away?! I'm trying to write the next chapter for goodness' sake! Can't a writer get some peace around here?

Sirius: All right… But don't give me any problems in the next part. *vanishes with a pop*

Dimantrien (sighs): And I thought _I _was the author of this story…

Note: The last part is just something that the author wrote for no reason at all because of the fact that she has run out of things to say in the AN (except for the plead that you please, _please _review). Hope you don't mind the extra lines. 


	6. Chaos in the Classroom

**Chapter 6: Chaos in the Classroom**

It was midnight. In the boys' dormitory, two boys lay awake while the other two slept soundly. The marauders present (and awake) were busy sorting out the ingredients they needed to make a potion. 

"We still don't have the skunk stink," James observed. A clear bubble-like thing surrounded his whole head, protecting him from the stenches of the ingredients.

"Yeah, and that's the key ingredient and the most potent of all," Remus reminded. He had performed a spell that would prevent him from smelling the pungent odors coming from the things laid out on the floor.

James inspected a clear jar full of rafflesia petals. One of his relatives who was vacationing in Malaysia had sent it to him last Monday when he had requested it. The flower was so large that his uncle had to dump a gallon of Shrinking Solution on just one flower. The smell was unbearable, like rotting animal flesh mixed with socks that had been worn for a whole year without being taken off and a bunch of other reeking things. (You get the point.)

Fortunately, all they needed of it was six shrunken petals, each about two inches wide. In that form, they wouldn't be knocked out by the overwhelming fetor of the flower. 

"Come on, Rem, let's just open it this once," James pleaded.

Remus shook his head. "No way. Even though we wouldn't be able to smell it, the odor would be so strong that the whole of Gryffindor Tower would be awake or otherwise having very unpleasant (or stinky) nightmares," he confirmed.

James scowled. "Oh, all right. But we really need something called _gluckreed__, _whatever that is. It's the only other thing we don't have on the list aside from the skunk stuff and a bit of diadem flower root."

Remus's eyebrows shot up. "Diadem? Isn't that a crown-shaped plant that gives off a sweet smell?" he asked, confused.

James nodded. "Yeah, it is. It has a magical effect though when you stew the roots in boiled water. Then when you put the solution into any liquid, the smell would be a lot stronger. Unless, of course, if it was odorless, in which case it wouldn't enhance the non-smell," he explained.

"Wow. I didn't know you were that good in Herbology," Remus remarked. 

James held up his hands. "Hey. I read too, you know. Not only Lily the bookworm can do stuff like that."

"You mean, become a nerd?" Remus asked with a smile.

James threw his pillow at him. "No, you dumbbell, read up things. Research and--"

The door flew open and Sirius came in, his wand in his hand and looking far happier than he would have if he had just gone from a detention for McGonagall. Then his nose scrunched up and he coughed. "Phee-ew! What the hell is that supposed to be?!"

"Calm yourself, Sirius, that's the gist of luvium that assaulted your nostrils," James said with a sardonic grin.

"I'm thankful that my nostrils aren't anywhere near as big as Snape's, then," Sirius commented as he plopped down next to him. "Nice look, by the way. Very NASA."

James scowled. "If you've been sorting through all these stuff for the past hour too, you would've rather had a bubble over your head than smelling these foul ingredients. I've got half a mind--"

"And that's the truth," Sirius interrupted. James glared but continued.

"--to uncover this jar and let you have a sample of Malaysia's largest flower in the world," he threatened, shaking the jar of rafflesia petals in front of Sirius's nose. 

Sirius smirked and pointed at the jar. "That? The _biggest _flower in the world?" He cracked up. 

"James, don't--!" Remus started, but too late. 

James magically took off the cap and a smell, a most horrible smell that overcame the whole dormitory, slipped under the slits of the doors and outside.

"Shut it! Shut it quick!" Remus cried, tackling James and wrenching the jar out of his grasp. It was only in time, though, that the trio could shove the lot under the nearest bed, perform Undetectable spells, dive into bed and pull down the hangings, and pretend to fall asleep. As if on cue, right after Sirius had whipped down the red hangings tied to the posts of his bed like curtains, Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the door bursting magically open. All three, faking deep breathing that indicated their 'slumber,' watched with their eyes nearly shut, but not quite. 

As they spied the doorway, they noticed that Ridgewood was standing right behind their Head of House, and following close behind, Dumbledore. James had no idea that rafflesia molecules could travel that fast. 

"They're faking it, Professor McGonagall, you know they are," Ridgewood said, almost delightedly. "I suggest that we march them right out of bed this very minute--"

"We cannot prove it yet," Professor McGonagall replied crisply. "Potter? Black? Are you two awake?" Sirius gritted his teeth as she said his name. Why was it always, _always _him that his teachers always suspected first? And why didn't McGonagall call Remus's name?

With no replies (who would, if you were in the same situation?), Professor McGonagall said, "Well then, that's that. Peeves must have dropped an exceptionally large bomb of his somewhere around. Everybody knows he likes coming to the Gryffindor Tower…."

"Minerva, that theory is absurd! I suppose they have put Undetectable spells all over this room and outside," Ridgewood said. He didn't look remotely elated now, but angry and impatient. 

"What utter nonsense, Tiernan! Fourth years certainly can't execute such difficult spells! Even seventh years haven't been taught those of most arduous levels!" James and Sirius stifled sniggers at the name _'Tiernan_.' For three years in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they had never known Ridgewood's first name.

Ridgewood was seething. "You said it yourself, Minerva! Haven't you been saying that they were simply _brilliant _and could surpass half the graduates of this school? If so, then they must be very profound to perform several Undetectable spells in less than a minute! Certainly not profound enough to actually keep discipline in their minds, but enough to conjure all sorts of mischief!" He was quite out of breath after he finished his little speech. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat. Apparently he was making it clear that the two teachers had forgotten that he was there. "I wouldn't want to disappoint you, Tiernan--" James and Sirius stifled their laughs again-- "but I'm afraid Minerva is right. Besides, you are disturbing these students' sleep. It would be rude to wake them up after a hard night of doing homework. They deserve peace and quiet, and I must add that it is quite rude, especially for teachers, to forget that rule in circumstances like this. So I advise that we all go back to our offices and turn in ourselves." He stepped out of the doorway to let them through, Ridgewood looking ominous and Professor McGonagall grim but relieved. As soon as they'd gone, the Headmaster started to close the door. Just as the three breathed sighs of relief, he said in a quiet voice, "Good night, you three. I do recommend you put a bit more gluckreed in your potion than the recipe suggests, as I have done it in my childhood once myself and I found something was wrong in it." His eyes twinkled, and with a swing of his long cloak (even when he was in pajamas), he shut the door and walked off down the outer staircase.

Remus, after waiting for a moment, pulled back his hangings and peered over at Sirius, who looked as stunned as he was. James shrugged, and within seconds, a reeking smell again reached their noses. The Undetectable spells were fading fast. 

Sighing, the three boys set to work, trying to restore their dormitory's scent back to what it was before. It caused a lot of complications, and James wondered aloud what it would feel like to bring back the smell of buttered toast and ham sandwiches to the Great Hall once they had given the Slytherins a dose of it. Or maybe even in class, since Sirius pointed out that there would be plenty left over. The other two could only hope that he wouldn't suggest to use it on Ridgewood, as longing as it was, because the rancorous professor would only worm their expulsion into place if they ever laid a hand on him. Sirius was the only one who gave catcalls and side comments freely in Potions, or other classes, for that matter, if not to annoy the victim, I mean, teacher, just for the fun of it. 

He paid most dearly for all his remarks, though. That was the reason that he had 307 more detentions in the past than James, 310 if you counted the detention he just served that night and two more he had for that week. All in all, he had already achieved 1, 102 detentions, the biggest record in Hogwarts. He was the record-setter, after all.

At last, after plenty of bloopers and a few burns on their clothes because of wrong incantations (getting rid of rafflesia stench is a very hard business indeed), they finally nailed it and went to bed with fitful and wistful (not to mention ludicrous) dreams of dumping a cauldron of Reeking Repellant over Ridgewood's overgrown head and getting him fired because Dumbledore said he…well…reeked and they couldn't get the smell off him. Ridiculous, it was, but they couldn't help wishing it were true. Just that blissful fantasy made them wish that they would never wake up (along with cursing Ridgewood and the rest of his slimy students into a gazillion pieces, or making them look very farcical, or even more distantly unreal sending them to Azkaban for a life sentence).

And that was the very thing they felt like doing the next day (never waking up, I mean. though you could add the rest too, to be completely honest). 

*****

"JAMES! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND WAKE UP!!!" Martin screamed in James's ear. No such luck.

Peter stood by, shaking Remus and feeling an odd sense of déjà vu. Well, that feeling had long been with him ever since he'd been friends with the three, but this time was a bit different. He didn't expect this at all.

Day after day (except weekends), he did his usual routine of jarring the marauders to wakening, and day after day, he either got a punch and a kick (or both) or just a snore and the expected rolling of their backs toward him. Sometimes he was rewarded by a mumbling ("go away, Pete" in Remus's or James's case, or "Remind me to give you a hard punch in the gut or a hex later" from Sirius). Either way, he always managed to wake them up in the end, even though he suffered much from Sirius's moodiness and several times being sent to the hospital wing. Mind you, Sirius Black was _not _a morning person, more so if the waker was a certain mouse-like scaredy-cat (ironic, isn't it?) that never ceased to annoy him.

Getting back to the story, Peter hauled his butt to the side of their beds as usual, and got a bruise and indistinct mutterings again, as usual. He did so for over an hour, until it was (again) ten minutes to Charms. Then, without even performing a spell, he dashed off, expecting (and willing) them to get out of bed by themselves and hustle to the Charms corridor on time. 

This, obviously, was a stupid move, and of course the three marauders waking up suddenly and bustling about had as much chance as an egg growing hair. 

For the first few minutes in Professor Flitwick's classroom, Peter and Lily kept glancing at the door. Professor Flitwick kept glancing at James's, Sirius's and Remus's desks in disapproval. The others in the class showed little interest in their absence, except for Celeste who was fretting over James's truancy. 

"Oh, James, whatever happened to him?" Celeste wrung her hands in worry. 

Lily glared at her, a bit surprised that her former friend was now allowing eye contact and asking _her, _of all people, where they were. 

"I'm not James, it's _Lily_, _L-I-L-Y _Lily, and I don't know where they are, so stop your damn blubbering! For all I know they're _fine,_ and just decided that spending an extra hour sleeping is much better than parking their butts in this boring classroom!" she snapped at her. Flitwick threw her an annoyed sidelong glance. 

Transfiguration came, and still they didn't show up. As Professor McGonagall saw to their transforming their frogs into toads, she bristled every time she passed by their empty seats. Finally, when a quarter of the class had successfully transformed their frogs (though some were concentrating too hard, so they accidentally turned people nearby into toads too) and when Professor McGonagall had restored everyone (who were turned into bullfrogs) to their proper state, she looked very cross.

"Kimball! I specifically told you to turn a common tree frog into a satisfactory horned toad, not a salamander--"

"But, Professor!" Martin protested, looking enraged. "That's not a salamander, it's a different species of toad, _sylphaeus__ tondetica, _I think the scientific name was…"

"Whatever you call it, it is _not _a frog, much less a toad! Get back to work, and I don't want to see a newt after that wretched thing you've created!" Professor McGonagall retorted. Her face was practically maroon, and Lily could swear she saw steam coming out of her ears and nostrils. Young though their teacher was, her hair seemed to be turning gray in the midst of her chaotic class. 

"See, it's got warts all over it too, so that proves that it is a--"

"Professor, I think I've got a problem with my frog, it's breathing ice…"

"Dolt! You just performed a Freezing Charm, there's a distinct difference between the _sh_sound from the _shsss_ in the Transfiguration spell, you've got to roll your tongue more on the second word."

"Don't worry, Professor McGonagall said the warts would wear off after a few days, then you'll be free to strangle Kylie when your hands are all better--"

"Who ever invented an incantation that's spelled and pronounced the same in two different branches of magic?"

"I _told _you, there's a difference in the s sound! Don't you know your phonics?!"

"Phonics, shmonics, who wants to turn frogs into toads for a living, anyway? That'd just make them uglier, not to mention more disgusting with all their _warts…_"

"Well, I'm sure that you'd look much better if the spell was applied to you, Celeste."

"Hmph! What do you know, _Lily, _about beauty and enhancing your looks? Not that you were even pretty to start with, it would probably take ages to make you look something like me--"

"Don't flatter yourself! I'd rather eat warts than be made to look like you, imagine how horrifying I would look…"

"Dare you talk to me like that, Lily Evans!"

"Dare _you _say to my face that I'm butt-ugly, Celeste Schoharie--"

"Will you two quit it? If it's any comfort to you, you're both not ugly. The more appropriate words would be _repulsive_ and _hideous_, so you don't need to worry about who's more unsightly, because in that case you two are--"

"Chase!"

"_Professor, _my frog's all bloated now. There's something seriously wrong with this incantation…"

"I _told _you--"

"And it has several relative similarities to the common toad, namely--"

"Shut it with all your cross-species relationship talk, Martin, or you'd beat even Professor Binns and his goblin rebellion wars."

"Cool! Now your frog's spurting some kind of gas from his nose…"

"Keep it away from mine, now, you never know when weird wisps of smoke are flammable or not--"

"What's the difference between flammable and inflammable?"

"Spelling."

"You mean, there's two different incantations to make something either flammable or inflammable?"

"I don't think that's--"

"QUIET!!!"

Instant silence, instant attentiveness. Martin's salamander/toad thing mysteriously slipped away out the door, unfortunately unknown to its owner (or creator). Lily's toad hopped off Celeste's hair. Celeste's toad whizzed past when Lily whacked it with her book, preventing it from jumping to her face. Chase was found sitting in a desk at a safe distance from her best friend and sister. Several live tree frogs were hopping on the teacher's table. 

Professor McGonagall was furious. If her face had been any more purple than it was, then her head was going to explode (or so Lily thought). She glared at each and every one of them, and the receivers of the look in turn flinched and cringed. Peter toppled off his chair. 

"Pettigrew and Kimball!" she boomed, sounding like a really peeved sergeant. 

"I didn't do it, Professor," Martin said immediately. "I swear it on my pinky and my lucky stuffed doggie…"

"That would be enough, Kimball," Professor McGonagall said in a steely voice. Peter was trembling from head to toes.

Professor McGonagall was counting under her breath. The class sat still; the only sound heard was the whistling of the wind outside and the croaking of the frogs and toads. After she had counted to a hundred (that's short for a person who has a really quick temper), she calmed down and sat down in her chair. She looked pointedly at Peter. "You go up to the dormitory and look for Potter, Black and Lupin," she ordered them. "If they're not in the Tower, report to me instantly. They're already in enough trouble as it is."

Martin and Peter nodded. "I think they're only asleep, Professor," Peter squeaked. "I couldn't wake them up this morning--"

"Then I suggest you wake them up every morning after this, Pettigrew, and if they don't, then try magic! You don't study in the best wizarding school in Europe for nothing!" she cried. "Off you go now, and drag them down to this classroom if need be!"

"But Professor," Martin interjected. "I can't wake them up either--"

"I didn't say you were to wake them up, Kimball," Professor McGonagall answered coldly. "You are to hunt down that hideous…_creature _you've conjured, and if I hear word that it's been trampling around the halls and classrooms doing who knows what, then I will personally see to it that you will be punished."

Martin looked at her gloomily but grudgingly obeyed. The two boys walked out of the room together, Martin muttering indistinct words under his breath. They disappeared round an adjacent corridor. 

Professor McGonagall appeared anxious for a moment or two. "Miss Evans, go to the Tower with Pettigrew. You obviously have more knowledge of spells than he does, and I daresay you have the courage to kick your friends' sides if they still don't wake up," she ordered her.

"Yes, Professor," Lily responded. There was a look of cunning on her face. She was probably just happy, in a twisted sort of way, that Professor McGonagall was permitting her to hex her friends. Not that she hadn't done so before, plenty of times, without McGonagall's leave, but this time she felt a sort of triumph. 

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Don't take it the wrong way, Evans. I want them here in the next ten minutes, but I don't want to see their faces mutilated when I tell them off. No, a good shove off the bed would be enough to rouse those rascals…"

"No, it won't," Lily objected. "Don't worry, Professor, I'll bring them back…un-mutilated," she said carefully. Then she strode out of the room. 

"I must be having the worst luck today…" Professor McGonagall said with a groan. What was left of her class were the four other girls in the fourth-year dormitory. 

"Don't feel so bad, Professor," Kylie Findlay chirped. "You don't look as much as hell as you did last year when those three plagued the Gryffindor Tower with--"

Professor McGonagall shot her a severe glance and she cut off whatever she was going to say. 

Chase laughed. "You mean, the time when--"

"Shush!" Celeste told her. 

Chase mumbled something inaudible and turned back to the piece of paper that she had been sketching on when McGonagall wasn't looking. Failing to change her frog into a toad (which Celeste ceaselessly nagged her to, only resulting to more lack of interest than she had at the beginning of the class), she started on a rough drawing. The illustration was of her wearing a Grim Reaper kind of suit and holding a scythe, with Celeste's (headless) body on the ground, her head rolling on the grass. A speech bubble was beside the head, letters in it scrawled in a language that only Chase knew and understood. 

Celeste peered at the drawing from two seats over. A spasm of annoyance was on her face as she stared at the picture. "Of all the… Don't be thinking that I'm going to fill inks on that gruesome sketch of yours, Chase!" she said shrilly.

"Who said I was going to?" Chase shot back. "Charcoal pencils and shading is all it takes. Though I'd prefer colors to emphasize my wonderful costume…" she trailed off with an amused grin. 

"Oh, I'm sure that Death would be the perfect occupation for you, dear sister," Celeste said haughtily.

Chase did a little bow. "I'm honored."

"The fact that people seeing your face would make them drop dead instantly is deep talent," she continued.

Chase was unfazed. "Then join the club! I daresay you've forgotten the fact that we're _identical, _except for the color of our eyes maybe, so plainly people kicking the bucket everytime they land their eyes on my face applies to you too." She smirked.

Professor McGonagall leered over the disputing twins. "None of your bickering, now," she said sternly. "Miss Tarlise, I advise that you keep any unneeded items in this class immediately. This is Transfiguration, not art class! And see to it that you both avoid any personal vendettas in public, be it petty or important--"

"We never fight about anything petty," Chase interrupted crossly. "We're _not_ petty. At least, I'm not, but maybe Celeste is."

Celeste narrowed her eyes, but at that moment Martin appeared in the doorway, carrying _sylphaeus__ tondetica. _

"I've found her, Professor!" he panted. "She was hiding on the grounds near the lake--"

"I'm not asking for information, Kimball. Now sit down and transfigure it back to your frog! Then we'll see if you're grades aren't hovering right above the toilet," Professor McGonagall said. Martin shut his mouth all the way to his desk.

As soon as he plopped onto his seat, Lily, and three ruffled-haired and weary-looking boys entered the room. It seemed that they had just thrown on their school robes over their pajamas and Sirius, who was the most sleepyheaded of all, was still wearing his fluffy blue night slippers. 

"It's about time you three woke up," Professor McGonagall said, her nostrils flaring again. 

Sirius yawned. "It's not my fault, Professor! I served a detention yesterday, and I got to the dormitory at past midnight! So I have every right to sleep as the next student…" His head nodded three times and he fell face-first onto the floor, snoring loudly.

"Wake up, Black!" Professor McGonagall muttered a spell and he jumped up, wide awake. 

"Yes, sergeant, what're the orders?" he said in a deep voice. 

Professor McGonagall looked, for a second, less severe. "Detention for the three of you. Go to your seats and transfigure your frogs."

The three trudged to their seats, but James looked disbelieving. "You mean, that's our detention?" he asked, as he effortlessly transformed his frog into a toad. 

"Don't be ridiculous! I'll tell you when it is, but for tonight I'm reminding you that you three, and Miss Evans, still have a detention for tonight."

She looked at her watch. "Five minutes. I guess there's no use keeping you here any longer, what with your impossible behavior. Class dismissed."

A cheer rang through the classroom, and they scurried out the door two by two. At last Professor McGonagall noticed something strange. 

"Miss Evans, where is Pettigrew?" she called to her.

Lily stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around, looking sheepish. "Um…I was threatening Sirius that I'd give him a monkey's tail if he didn't wake up, but when I hexed him he deflected it with a Rebound Charm and Peter got hit. He had to go to Madame Pomfrey and get the tail out of his forehead."

*****

Wednesday night, 7:45. The four friends made their way to the Quidditch field after visiting Peter at the hospital wing. After a brief squabble between James and Sirius when Sirius said he was going to take 'just one little picture' with his camera, they set out with Madame Pomfrey shooing them out the door. Sirius grumbled all the way to the vast grounds.

"What's the harm of one picture, James? Shouldn't I have compensation for being dragged against my will to visit that no-good excuse for a friend?" he complained.

"Give it a rest for a while, Sirius, there's nothing evil about old Pete," Remus said with a yawn. They reached the bleachers, where Professor McGonagall left them a basin of soapy water and a scrubbing brush each, and a note. 

_Here are the things needed for your detention. Potter and Black will clean the north and south bleachers, respectively, and Lupin and Miss Evans the west and east. I will inspect them tomorrow. _No magic, _Black, and that goes for the rest of you too. The basins will fill with water everytime it runs low. There is a faculty meeting tonight, so if there are any problems, just go to the staff room. Again, absolutely no magic. I'll have Mr. Pringle watch you from time to time, but from where I shall not say. Don't go wandering off to the __Forest__! Good night._

_Professor McGonagall_

"She makes it sound like we're out-of-control rebels or something," Lily said indignantly.

"Which, in fact, we are," Sirius reminded. "Let's make quick work here. You saw the note, James, go to the north end! Here, I'll give your stuff a hand." With a wave of his wand, the scrubbing brush sprouted legs and ran all the way to the other end of the stadium, with the basin of water in close pursuit.

"Not bad," James told him. "But I can do better." He waved his wand, and Sirius's scrubbing brush sprouted legs _and_ arms, and began doing an exhibition of gymnastics moves toward the bleachers near them. The basin of water had white wings on its sides and it flew ahead of the scrubbing brush, colorful bubbles forming shapes in the air and popping when they collided.

Lily sighed. "Stop playing around, you two, and don't beat around the bush. All you need is to do _this._" She zapped the cleaning items that remained and they flew to their individual bleachers, scrubbing and soaping the topmost steps. 

"There. Now, why don't you command yours, and let's get down to the real business," Remus added. When James and Sirius still had their eyes on the cartwheeling gymnast, he zapped it himself and the legs and arms disappeared, the basin landed on the highest part of the bleachers and the wings dissolved, and the scrubber got to work.

"What'd you do that for?" Sirius cried. "It was about to do one of those spinning-in-the-air-while-in-a-ball-position kind of moves!"

James laughed. "Nice description. Anyway, I guess I better assign my slaves too." 

After they had "gotten to work," they started arguing about what to do next. 

"Hey, Sirius, we were supposed to put all sorts of spells on the field, remember? Didn't you say you wanted to get back to McGonagall?" James reminded.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. That was five days ago. I guess I don't feel like doing it now."

"Why don't we go to the Forbidden Forest?" Lily suggested. 

The others shrugged. "Pringle's supposed to be keeping watch, isn't he? I mean, he's okay and everything, but he's a perpetual country-club butt-kisser when it comes to the faculty," Remus pointed out. 

Sirius's eyes sparkled. "Why not, Rem? All it takes to take that goody-two-shoes old geezer out is a Stunning Spell."

"What if somebody, like Ridgewood for instance, tripped over him when they were strolling around?" James asked.

Sirius sighed. "You've been sticking too close to Peter, Jamie boy," he told him seriously. 

*****

**A/N -** If some (if not all) parts of this chapter sucked, I'm sorry. I've had a severe case of writer's block (and laziness) these days. But next chapter's a Quidditch match, and I guarantee that it's going to be better. 


	7. Quidditch Practice

**Chapter 7: Quidditch Practice**

Surprisingly, they didn't go anywhere farther than the field that night. The group decided to just "settle down" and keep a lookout in case Apollyon Pringle was lurking nearby. They had, once, saw his trusty cat, "Precious," a rust-colored feline that had sharp eyes and was much nosier than her master. At that moment they dropped their spells for a while and scrubbed at the bleachers manually. Precious watched them for a while before meowing in approval. 

After she had gone (with the bleachers sparkling clean), they decided to have a little fun with the Slytherins' side of the stadium. With the knowledge of the upcoming Quidditch match against them, they prepared a "welcome" for the green-clad spectators that would activate when either the Slytherins or the Gryffindors scored a goal.

They were just about done when there was a movement in the shadows. "Done yet, children?" the kindly yet suspicious voice of Apollyon Pringle called from a few yards away.

The marauders hid their wands behind their backs as they faced him, but the telltale sparks that were hovering above the Slytherins' bleachers gave Pringle a hint.

"Been using magic in cleaning the bleachers, have you? My, my, and they said detention would set young ones straight! But there's no telling what the younger generation would be up to." Pringle leaned on his cane, and Precious ran around his legs.

"We haven't been using magic on the bleachers! Ask Precious, she saw us a while ago," Remus said, trying to save face.

Pringle stroked his chin. "Hmmm…" Precious meowed and looked up at him. Pringle started "talking" to her in the form of weird noises and clicks of his tongue. Strangely enough, they seemed to understand each other.

He turned to face them. "Precious has been telling me that you were indeed finishing up when she checked on you," he informed them. "_But_," he continued when they breathed sighs of relief, "that was over an hour ago. You couldn't possibly finish up all these bleachers in half an hour, can you?" he asked slyly. 

None spoke. "Not without magic, I daresay. Now, I wouldn't want to report you, _again, _so to speak, but a job's a job. Professor McGonagall said."

And he shuffled away with Precious, head and tail high. 

The marauders looked at one another. _"Obliviate!" _all four of them yelled, pointing their wands at Pringle and Precious. 

The cat instantly fell face first onto the grass; Pringle sat down next to her, Indian-style.

"Mr. Pringle?" James called. No answer. The four cautiously stepped up to the old caretaker, and Sirius poked him hard in the back.

Pringle turned his head at them, his eyes out of focus. "My, what angels you all are! Better watch out for those darn older kids, not many of you escape on Holy Innocents' Day."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "If the words 'angels' and holy innocents' came out of his mouth, then just shoot me," she whispered.

Sirius clapped. "Good! With what?"

"With a gun, of course!" she said.

"What's a gun?" the three boys said together.

Lily just looked at them as if they were preschoolers that still didn't learn their ABC's. 

"Oh," James said, recognition dawning in his eyes. "Muggle-talk."

Remus and Sirius nodded. "Ah, yes. Those fascinating contraptions!" Sirius said with mock wonder. "What's a gun?" he asked again.

Lily sighed. "It's a weapon that Muggles use to kill," she said impatiently. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Oh, you mean that thing that spurts fire when you put--what d'you call it?--gas in it?" Sirius said.

Lily sighed again. "No, that one's called a _flamethrower, _dimwit. You put bullets in a gun, not gas."

"Okay. Now I get it. You put bulpellets or whatever in it and _then _it spouts fire?" 

"NO!" Lily shouted. "I don't even know what caused you to ask about guns in the first place…" 

James nodded. "Sure you did. First we put a Memory Charm on Pringle and he said we were holy innocents--"

"Then you said if he said that, we should just shoot you," Remus chimed in.

"And then I asked, 'With what?' And then you said, 'With a gun of course!' And then the three of us asked--" Sirius continued.

"Stop, you're saying it all over again!" Lily said frantically. 

"Then what _is _a gun?" Sirius pressed.

"You're better off not knowing," Lily answered.

"What if a Muggle stuck a gun at me, and I didn't know what it was, and he shot me and killed me?" 

"Then hex him with your damned wand, if you actually have the brains to use it, for goodness' sake!" Lily snapped. "Now, shut up and let's get back to the tower. If you want to learn anything about Muggle apparatuses then quit Divination and go to Muggle Studies."

"Who needs to study about Muggles if we could just ask you?" James asked.

"Nobody, because I won't give one hell answer to any questions from the likes of you," Lily replied. 

"But not all people have the likes of me," James insisted.

"Yes they do."

"Who, then, for that matter?"

"Sirius and Remus, for one."

"For two," Remus corrected.

"Or you could say, 'Sirius, for one,' and 'Remus, for another'." Sirius supplied.

"Thanks for the grammar check," Lily shot at them.

"Don't mention it," both of them countered.

"Gladly," Lily retorted.

She went on ahead of them and disappeared around the corner. The three soon-to-be Animagi looked at one another. Then Sirius finally asked, "Do you get the feeling she always wins this kind of repartee against the _three _of us?" 

"That's a mystery that only girls know the answer of, I guess," James answered with a shrug.

"We know when we're beaten," said Remus.

*****

Three weeks, thirty-six detentions and one hundred twenty pranks later, Sirius and James were at a Quidditch practice and preparing for the big game against Slytherin on Saturday…

"Roll call!" The voice of Mark Conroy, the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, rang throughout the stadium. "Say present when your name is called."

"If I said present, would you give me a present, Mark?" Sirius called from a few yards away. 

"No, I won't, Sirius, so shut up, be serious, and quit it with all the philosophies. Just concentrate on hitting the Bludgers at the opposing team, okay?" answered Mark in an exasperated tone.

Sirius did a dive and swerved across Erin Sinclair to get next to James. James smiled. "Tough luck, Sirius." 

Sirius just scowled. "After countless times of leading our team to victory--"

"That was James, not you," Chase said as she zoomed by clutching the Quaffle. 

"Thank you," James responded, bowing his head once, but Chase couldn't possibly hear him at the speed she was flying.

"As I was saying," Sirius continued. "After--"

"Sirius! Sirius Black! Why aren't you saying 'present'?" Mark bellowed way below.

Sirius turned his broom upside-down. "Well, what's the use of your stupid roll call?" he shouted back, a little dizzy as the world turned topsy-turvy. "You already know I'm here!"

He couldn't see how Mark was reacting, but he figured that Mark chose to ignore him. Mark clapped his hands and the team assembled on the grass in the middle of the field. 

"Okay, boys," Mark told them as they huddled around the strategy clipboard. 

"Boys and girls," Dione Ulysses corrected.

"Men and women," Keith Gene added.

Mark rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Now, the match is three days away, but we still lack a bit of technique. I reckon offense is at its best--" James, Chase and Keith smirked at one another-- "But defense…now, that's another story."

Dione scowled. "How do you expect me to do a good job if Sirius keeps hitting the Bludgers at _me?_" she complained.

Sirius glared at her. "Well, if you're such a high-and-mighty seventh year, then why don't you just hit it right back?" he retorted.

"Calm down, Sirius," Mark said sternly. "Don't blame others for your own faults--"

"You just don't want to say that it was your _girlfriend's _fault," Sirius said sulkily.

"_Sirius_," Mark said threateningly, though Dione blushed and looked away.

James slapped Mark on the back. "Best of luck to you, captain," he said seriously.

"I didn't know there were any budding romances here in our team," Chase wondered aloud.

"You think too much, Chase," Keith remarked in a bored tone.

"At least I'm still capable of thinking," Chase shot back at him.

"Are you implying that I'm dumb?" Keith said, narrowing his eyes.

"No, I'm implying that you're a nitwit," Chase replied.

"Oh yeah? Then you're a simpleton!" Keith said, crossing his arms.

"If I'm a simpleton, then simpletons get straight A's in class," Chase responded. "You'd probably flip cartwheels if you saw your name on the honor roll," she added. "Whatever the case, I'm more intellectual--"

"Shut up!" Keith yelled at her.

"Ooh, excellent comeback," Chase said in a calm but amused voice. "Why don't you try something more sophisticated, like, 'I know you are, but what am I?'"

"All right, team! Mount your brooms!" Mark shouted.

Keith stared daggers at Chase but only got a smirk in return. As Chase mounted her Silver Arrow, Keith shouted furiously after her, "I wish you'd start acting a little bit more mature and feminine, like your sister!" 

Chase flew a few feet in the air and shot her broom directly above Keith. She leaned over the side and asked, "Was that an insult or a compliment?" Then she zoomed off upward and did a spinning dive, catching the ball that Mark dropped.

"Don't plunge so recklessly next time, Chase," Mark advised her. 

Chase glanced at Keith. "You don't have to tell _me _that. Why don't you teach it to people who can't control their dives?"

Sirius and James chuckled, and the rest were trying hard not to look at Keith, but Keith just pouted and flew farther away. But Sirius and James flew next to him and started picking on him. James pretended to be searching for the Snitch.

"Hey, James, remember the game last year when Burleigh fumbled the Quaffle and Keith dived after it?" Sirius began, starting to chuckle.

James pretended to think for a moment. "Oh, yeah! You mean the time when--"

"Aren't you guys supposed to practice? Why aren't you looking for the Snitch?" said Keith in an annoyed tone.

James waved his hand dismissively. "I _am _looking for the Snitch. I'm just talking to you two at the same time."

"Then why don't you look for it somewhere higher up and leave me alone?" Keith asked irritably.

The marauder-Quidditch players ignored him. "Then Keith plunged faster and faster to catch up to the ball, but Preston swung a Bludger at him and it hit him square on the nose!" Sirius sniggered.

James chortled. "Ha ha! And blood was overflowing from it, and he was flying so fast. Then the wind changed and the red stuff splattered him all over his face--"

"Will you guys _shut up?!_" Keith yelled, trying to fly away from them. Sirius blocked his path.

"After that, he didn't see Gwyn Tavia twenty feet below him--I think Dione hit a Bludger at her," Sirius continued with a mad grin on his face.

"Yeah, and Tavia saw him and fled downward, but he was going too fast and he crashed on top of her and they both fell off their brooms!" James carried on.

"You remember what happened next, didn't you?" Sirius asked him, starting to laugh out loud again.

"How could I forget that? When we flew in to check if he was alright, we found his face buried in Tavia's big BOOBS!!!" James finished, and they both laughed so hard that they almost fell off their brooms. 

"Stop it!!! Will you two just _SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP?!!_" Keith was yelling so hard that the whole stadium could hear. His face was beet red, but the two knew that it wasn't from shouting so loud.

Mark and Chase flew toward them. Their captain wore a concerned expression on his face but Chase looked like she was ready to laugh any second. 

"What's going on here? Sirius, why didn't you hit that Bludger when Dione was on the other side of the field wrestling with the other one?"

By the looks on James's and Sirius's faces, Chase could confirm what made Keith explode like that. She snickered and said, "I think they were just remembering old times, weren't you, Sirius?" 

Sirius only grinned his manic grin, causing Chase to double over with laughter. "Double over" as in falling off her broom, catching the handle by a single hand and swing back to position, all in a smooth movement.

"And _that_ is what all of you should do when a Bludger causes you to dismount," Mark said proudly.

"Don't turn _everything _we do into a Quidditch lesson," Sirius said with a yawn. 

"Excuse me, but I don't see _you _deserving any right to be corrected, Sirius," Mark replied sharply. "Now, all of you get back to your positions, and not another word unless it's got something to do with Quidditch!"

"But what we were talking about _did _have something to do with Quidditch," Sirius protested. 

James sniggered again. "Yeah, we were talking about Keith's big fall on top of Tavia--"

"Shut _UP!!!_" Keith shouted.

Sirius whistled. "Talk about hot and heavy," he teased with a smirk, then escaped from a fuming Keith with the excuse of hitting a Bludger on the other end of the field.

"That's _not funny, _Sirius!!!" he yelled after him. Sirius turned around (still flying dangerously fast without looking where he was going), stuck his tongue out and lowered his eyelid.

"Very attractive," Chase said dryly before following suit toward their other teammates.

Shrugging, James tailed after her, if not only for the reason of getting away from their captain and a very furious Chaser that was the youngest in the team. 

When he reached the (not quite) cluster of teammates, he was just in time in swerving to the right before a Bludger could come into contact with his face. "SIRIUS!"

"Darn," Sirius said, snapping his fingers in a disappointed way. "I thought I timed it right."

"Well, you timed wrong," James answered, just about ready to knock Sirius off his broom. 

Sirius thought for a moment. "If I knocked you off your broom, would I be the best Quidditch player on this team?"

"Do you mean to say that _I'm _the star player of the team?" James asked, looking impressive.

"You wouldn't want to say that in front of the leader of the pack," Chase said.

"Or at least within earshot," muttered Erin as Mark came back with Keith trailing behind. 

Mark was frowning. "What do you think you're doing?" he said in his I'm-the-boss-around-here-so-you-kiddies-listen-to-me voice. 

"Um, I think it would be convenient if you actually said _who_ you're addressing that statement to," Chase quipped. 

"Be serious, Chase," Dione said in an annoyed voice.

"I think not," Chase replied.

"This isn't the time for jokes," Erin warned her.

"Excuse me, but I think I have the right to choose which person I want to impersonate, too," Chase scoffed.

Dione rolled her eyes. "I meant be s-e-r-i-o-u-s serious not Sirius."

"I _purposely _meant what I said. Can't you tell a quip when you hear one?" Chase answered in annoyance.

"Yeah, well maybe you _purposely _meant what you said to me a while ago," said Keith angrily.

Chase looked at him blankly. "What line was that? Oh yeah, it's all coming back to me… Well, if you put it that way, yes, I did mean what I said about you being a nitwi--"

"See? She should be suspended for intentional impertinent insulting to her fellow teammates!" Keith complained to Mark, pointing at Chase.

"III of misconduct?" said Erin with a blank look.

"Is there _any_ insult that isn't impertinent?" James asked matter-of-factly.

Mark sighed. "Quit the side comments, Chase."

"Cease your boorishness," Dione added.

"If you just said I was boorish, you're begging for a fat lip," Chase retorted. Dione fell silent.

Mark flung his arms upward, causing his Thundershock to wobble a bit at the loss of balance. "Please? Can't a captain give a lecture in peace?" he asked to no one in particular.

"So this _is _a lecture," Erin said.

"And as I said before I was rudely interrupted, do you mind telling us who goofed?" Chase pressed.

"Sirius and James, obviously!" Keith said in a tone of mixed impatience and ire. 

"Yes, Sirius and James. See, like Chase, you two are one warning away from being suspended--"

"What for?" Sirius, James and Chase demanded as one.

"As Keith reported, you three have violated the rule of Excessive Discourtesy to a Teammate--"

Erin yawned. "Wait. You're not going to say that _up here, _are you?" she asked, gesturing at their current location, sixty feet higher than the ground.

"No, he's not, so we'd better settle this in the locker room," Chase answered wearily before Mark could say anything.

Mark gave her a beady-eyed look, much like the one Professor McGonagall gave to the marauders when they pulled a prank in her classroom. "I was under the impression that _I'm _in charge here, Tarlise."

Chase shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, I forgive you. Everybody dreams some time or other," she deadpanned. 

"Can we just go down?" Erin asked in a bored voice. Without waiting for an answer, she flew down in the direction of the lockers.

"Can't argue with _that_ option." Chase trailed after her. 

"Hey, wait for me!" yelled Keith.

Chase looked back and yelled, "Careful now, wouldn't want to land on Erin's bosom, would you?"

A vague shout from down below said, "I heard that!" 

From above Chase came, "Shut up! Mark, give her a third warning!"

Keith sped after Chase, gaining speed with each second. Just as Chase was going to hit the ground, she pulled out, swerving away from one of the Quidditch goal posts. Keith started to pull out too, but he timed wrong and fell off his broom, hitting the ground with the side of his left arm. 

Mark and Dione landed next to him. "Are you alright, Keith?" Mark asked in a concerned voice, just as Chase came back to see if Keith got hurt. 

Keith groaned in reply. Mark carefully moved him so that he could lie on his back. 

"What's wrong with him?" asked Dione, a fearful expression on her face.

Mark shook his head, looking worried. "He's unconscious. We'd better take him to Madame Pomfrey."

James and Sirius sped toward them. "Is it serious?" James inquired with the same note of concern.

"I _told _him to be careful," Chase spoke up. "C'mon, his arm's not gonna get any better if we just stand here."

The rest of the team nodded. Erin came running downfield, her broom over her shoulder. "What happened?" she panted.

"Don't worry, he was five feet above the ground when he fell. Shouldn't be too serious, but we're going to Madame Pomfrey to check him out," Sirius reported.

"That's a relief," Erin replied. "We wouldn't need to find a replacement in two days," she said as Mark took out his wand, uttered a spell, and levitated Keith's rigid body about two feet from the ground. Dione and Mark walked on either side of him as he floated toward the bleachers.

The four players left behind walked back to the Gryffindor Tower together. Their choice of topic, of course, was focused on Keith's fall.

"You shouldn't have teased him while he was diving, Chase," James was saying.

Chase raised her eyebrows. "What rational explanation is connected to _that?_"

"Well, for one thing, you know how he hates it when you taunt him, so that puts his concentration on the line. At the speed he was going, he couldn't have pulled out of the dive in time. You made him lose control of the situation," James finished in a matter-of-fact tone. 

"It's his fault that he can't handle a joke. Besides, I warned him not to do that. Didn't I say that he was inexperienced in diving?"

Sirius spoke for James. "Nah, not directly," he piped up.

Chase rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but Keith always says I'm _implying _it. So he should know."

"Still, there's no use arguing about it. Madame Pomfrey can fix fractures in a second, so he'll probably be fine," Erin pointed out as they passed by the Whomping Willow. Some twisted magic by Professor Sprout must have made it grow full-size in less than four years. 

"We would've been better off without him on the team, anyhow," Chase commented. "His passes suck, he can barely intercept the ball when it's right in his face, and his shots don't even graze the goals when he's two feet away from them. It's better if we just recruit another Chaser."

"Don't be harsh," Erin said with a smile. "You've got to give him some time. Remember, Mark said he had talent that's waiting to burst out--"

"If you ask me, it's waiting too long," Chase remarked before Erin could finish. Erin shrugged.

"Maybe he's fit to be in another role," James suggested. "Obviously, he can't be a Seeker by the way he dives--"

"He can't possibly be a Keeper because of his inexperience," Erin continued.

"And he _definitely_ can't be a Beater because he's virtually terrified of the Bludgers," Sirius ended. 

"And that leaves nothing at all," James said.

Chase's eyes lit up. "I know! I've got the best thing he could do in the Quidditch field--"

"What?" the other three said eagerly.

"Commentating."

*****

The four of them reached the Fat Lady's portrait. "Commentating? That's not even a position!" Erin exclaimed.

"But that's what he's good for. He's got a big mouth for anything Quidditch even if he doesn't play very well, and he's certainly unbiased enough. Unless if we're playing the Slytherins," Chase said.

"Yeah, I can see it," Sirius nodded. "And he knows all the rules and stuff, and how the game works, and all our commentators in the past mix up the different fouls. Twiddlethumbs." 

James climbed through the portrait hole first. "Who cares if the commentators mix up the fouls?"

"And they _also_ don't name my techniques properly," Sirius added in an irate tone. "Like the time Dexter Myvany said that I did a good job smashing Zacharis's nose instead of 'Sirius performed an outstanding hit with his remarkable Lightning Blow technique, knocking Zacharis off his broom and forcing him to give up the Slytherin's possession of the Quaffle." He followed James inside, then Chase and Erin.

James laughed. "Extreme commentating specialization, that is," he chortled. 

The common room was deserted, and they remembered that it was dinner time. 

"Here's where the kids split," said Chase. "I've gotta take a shower before dinner. Maybe I can ask Celes to sneak a plate of barbecue and buttered vegetables up here later."

"Hey, don't let your sister get in trouble," Sirius protested.

"Like you'd make a difference," Chase shot back. "Nobody ever asked you where you got food when you chucked a lot from the kitchen."

"If you're so smart, then why don't you go to the kitchen yourself?"

"Because I'm tired, and that's the reason I wanted my sis to bring food up in the first place! Now, if you don't have any more obvious-answer questions for me, I must bid you all adieu," she said, waving them away as she climbed up the girls' staircase.

"Whatever you say," Sirius called, rolling his eyes. "Let's go, Jamie boy. I'm starving."

"Hey, Chase!" James shouted from the foot of the stairs. 

Chase looked back. "What?" 

"You're getting more like your sister everyday," he said.

Chase shrugged. "Really." It wasn't a question.

"Aren't you afraid that you'll become all prissy and vain like she is?" Erin asked.

"Hey, she's not at all like that!" Sirius protested.

"Don't hold your breath. I'm not going to spend two hours on makeup every morning yet," Chase reassured sarcastically. She continued up the stairs, disappearing from view.

James and Sirius climbed out of the portrait hole again. "What would you do if Chase started acting like Celeste?" James asked him.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind it that much. Unless she suddenly resigns from the team and dresses fancily, that is," Sirius responded.

James shook his head. "No, I meant, who would you choose over the two of them?"

"Celeste, of course!"

James breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew. That's a relief."

Sirius stopped short. "Wait a minute. Are you saying that you have a _thing_ for Chase Tarlise?" he asked in disbelief.

Shrugging, James answered, "Dunno yet. What would you say if I said yes?"

"No way." Sirius shook his head. "I mean, she doesn't count as one."

"Count as one what?"

"A girl, of course," Sirius said, looking annoyed.

James laughed. "She is too a girl," he told him. "I mean, look around you! Can't you see guys staring at her whenever she passes by? Or when February 14 rolls around, she gets a ton of gifts from secret admirers?"

"Yeah, she is a girl, but her attitude makes it hard to believe. Look, even her _name _is a boy's name. And her main emotion is sarcasm, and when she and Celeste walk together she strolls confidently in an athlete's way while Celeste looks so graceful and elegant." Sirius counted off the reasons on his fingers.

"Maybe that's because your eyes are glued to Celeste and you don't take any notice to Chase. Besides, compared to Celeste, Chase is, no doubt about it, _cool. _Celeste's one of those stereotypical types who only cares about her looks and being perfect at everything," James argued. 

Sirius thought for a moment. "But I thought you liked Lily," he said finally. "What made you change your mind?"

James scowled at him. "I told you, I never_ like liked _Lily in the first place. You were the one who started saying all that stuff, remember?"

"I just can't picture you and Chase Tarlise together," said Sirius.

"Why not?" was James's reply.

"Just because."

"Come to think about it, I don't see you and Celeste together either."

"Why not?"

James smirked. "Just because."

Sirius glowered at him. "Thanks a lot."

"You may mention it when I owe you something," James said solemnly as they reached the entrance of the Great Hall.

"Some friend you are." Sirius sat down on his usual seat, James opposite him. Lily and Remus sat beside each respectively.

Remus was already finishing up. "What took you so long? We weren't able to sneak into the Slytherin Tower and hang all their underwear on the roof." He said the last sentence in a whisper.

James sighed. "Let's just say it's pre-game jitters courtesy of certain members of the team."

Remus grabbed a pear from the nearby fruit basket and munched on it. "Uh-huh. So how'd it go?"

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Enlightening," Sirius said finally. "Let's leave it at that."

Remus looked at Lily and she shrugged. "Translation: It was boring beyond belief?" she guessed.

"Nah. Actually Keith Gene fell off his broomstick in the end, but it's a long story," James related.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure. You do know how to tell a tale in chronological order, don't you? Like, you actually start with the beginning and not the other way around?"

"Sorry, but my brain isn't functioning in the logical mode. It's invaded with Quidditch cells until after the game," James said wryly.

"Whatever you say. Best of luck to you on the exam in Transfiguration tomorrow, then. You'll probably need it when you're temporarily demented," Lily commented, standing up and starting to walk away.

"I didn't say I was insane!" James shouted after her. She held up a hand and didn't look back.

When he sat back down, he saw that Remus was laughing. 

"Watch it, Rem, you wouldn't want to anger a deranged Seeker. Things could get nasty," Sirius quipped. 

"That's not funny at all, guys," James said crossly. Then he leaned closer so only Sirius could hear. "_This _is why I like Chase better than Lil," he said in a low voice. 

"What are you two whispering about?" The two of them looked up and saw Celeste standing there.

"Nothing that concerns you," James replied.

Celeste didn't--or pretended not to--hear the slightly annoyed tone in his voice. She laughed lightly and said," I'm looking for my sister. Do you know where she went off to after Quidditch practice?"

"She said that she'll wait for you in the Tower," Sirius jumped in. 

"Yeah, she told for you to sneak food out so that she wouldn't have to come down here to eat," James added. 

Celeste sighed. "That sibling of mine…well, I can't just let hr starve herself. Jamie, would you help me carry the food up for her?" she asked him, fluttering her long, mascaraed lashes. Sirius shot James an envious glance.

"Er…I've got to finish up my History of Magic essay tonight. I need all the time I can get," James lied. There was no way he was going to play servant for this girl, no matter how privileged Sirius thought he was. "Sirius has time on his hands, if you need help."

Celeste's smile faded. "I can help you with your essay later, to speed up things," she insisted. 

"I'm really sorry, but I think this is one assignment that I need to do by myself," James responded in the kindest and most patient voice he could muster. "So…sorry," he repeated. 

Frowning, Celeste stalked off without another word.

"Looks like you got her really pissed," Remus observed.

James shrugged. "Who cares? If I'm lucky, maybe she'll stay mad at me forever and leave me alone," James answered offhandedly. 

Sirius didn't look too pleased. "If she's mad at you, then she'll have no reason to hang out with us anymore," he said.

Remus and James shook their heads. "Sirius, if you want Celeste to like you…" Remus began.

"And not to refer to you as 'Lily's friend' or 'James's sidekick'," James couldn't resist adding. Sirius glowered at him.

"You have to make her come here because she wants to see _you _and not because she wants to see James," Remus finished. "You can't just hang around forever and wait for her to crawl to you," James said.

"Oh, that's right. Pick on me, why don't you, Mr. I'm-too-popular-so-I-always-have-girls-fawning-over-me," Sirius shot at James. 

James smirked at the term referred as him. "I wouldn't go _that _far, but if you put it that way…"

Sirius held up his hand. "Don't say another word."

"Yes, master," James gibed. 

Remus looked at something over Sirius's shoulder. "Let's get out of here before the Slytherins find out what I put in their pies," he whispered to them. 

As they left the Hall, Sirius's bad mood lifted. "Uh-oh. What did you do now?"

"We-ell, since you and James didn't show, I wandered into the kitchen to get a snack. That was around the time the house elves were cooling the desserts and stuff," Remus narrated. His friends nodded. "I'd just left from a detention for Professor Flitwick. He said that when the Hufflepuff first years practiced the Wingardium Leviosa charm, a boy caused Flitwick to levitate instead of the feather and he knocked him into a cage full of white mice. So he told me to hunt them down and find some way to put them away safely."

Sirius grinned. "Let me guess," he said slyly. "You put the mice in the pies, didn't you?" 

Remus shook his head. "Noooo, but I still didn't know what to do with them when I went down to the kitchen. Problem was, they escaped and scared the house-elves out of their wits."

James's eyes lit up. "I get it! They started eating everything in sight, right?"

"Yep," Remus said.

"And they were really full after a few minutes," James said again.

"Yep," nodded Remus.

"You put the _droppings_ in the pies?" James asked incredulously.

"You got it," Remus said, grinning. "Wait a minute…no, I didn't put the droppings in the pies," he said quickly.

"Yeah, right," Sirius scoffed.

"Nope. I remember there was a house elf named Snoozy who was sleeping when all the commotion happened. See, when I caught the mice and all the house elves ran out of the kitchen, he woke up and found the whole place deserted. Then he shook his head, muttering something about the others not doing their work, and he saw me standing there. 

"'You is scared other house elves away?' he asked me. I shook my head. I mean, what else are you supposed to say to a cranky house elf?

"Then he moved to the Slytherins' counterpart table in the kitchen and looked around at all the droppings on the floor. He muttered, 'Those naughty ones! They is leaving their works a unattended, they is! Snoozy reports them later.' He picked up a dropping. 'And they is leaving the ingredients all over clean floor! Dirtying up the kitchen, they is. They get a lecture from Snoozy later. Now, Snoozy cants leave all this messy. Snoozy still has to finish the Slytherins' pies…' Then my ears perked up.

"'You know, all that on the floor is chocolate,' I told him. 'And I hear the Slytherins love chocolate. I bet you'll get more praise from the Headmaster if you made all the chocolate pies by yourself.'

"His eyes grew big. 'I likes Professor Dumbledore. He is very kind and patient. Snoozy pleases him!' He started collecting the droppings and sniffed at one. 'But this chocolate smells funny. Yes, Professor Dumbledore would be angry at Snoozy if he makes bad pie. No, this will not do.' 

"I stopped him and I said that it smells funny but the Slytherins love that kind of chocolate," Remus continued with a smile. "So he went on and baked all these pies using the droppings as filling. I didn't know what came next, but I bolted before the other elves could come back and tell him I lied."

"Ah, that's why!" Sirius clapped. Then he smiled a twisted smile. "Then we should really run now," he said in a low voice. "Avery and Nott shovel pies in their mouth faster than a meteorite hits earth. They're bound to notice something wrong with the taste, no matter how stupid they are."

The three of them ran all the way to the common room, using all the secret passages that they'd found out about in their third year…well, all the passages that led to Gryffindor Tower, that is.

When they entered the common room, there were only ten or so people scattered throughout it. Celeste, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen. In fact, all the students in the common room consisted only of males. 

The marauders approached Emmett Corbin, Cassiopeia Black's boyfriend. "Hiya, Met. D'you know where Cas is?" Sirius asked him.

"Oh, hey," Emmett said, looking startled as he tore his eyes from his complicated rune chart. "I don't exactly know where all of the girls went," he admitted. "But rumor says the faculty is preparing a play. They must've gone over there to inquire about auditions."

"A play?" James asked, looking puzzled. "What's the Hogwarts teaching staff going to do with a lousy _play_? Isn't that something Muggle schools do?"

Emmett shrugged. "I think the Headmaster is trying it out to hone the acting abilities of some students. I even heard that he's going to start organizing different clubs for the school."

"I hope not," Sirius objected. "Unless he plans to add a joke club to the list."

Emmett laughed. "I doubt he would," he remarked. 

"Never mind about clubs. Have you seen Lily Evans going out, too?" Remus asked.

"Lily?" Emmett thought for a moment. "Um…yeah. She was with Chase Tarlise a while ago. I think she was persuading Chase to try out for something. Chase didn't seem to want to play actress, though. I think a sports club would do her better than drama class, don't you?" 

"If there isn't going to be a joke club, then I guess a Quidditch club would have to do," Sirius grumbled.

"It's just a rumor," Remus reasoned. "It's not definite yet. We'd better get some sleep and get to the bottom of this tomorrow," he counseled wisely.

James yawned. "No arguments there."

"Weren't you supposed to start that History of Magic essay you were talking about earlier?" Sirius said shrewdly.

"Oh, come on, Sirius, you didn't fall for that, did you? I finished that one a week ago." James climbed up the first few steps up the boys' staircase.

"Maybe you did, but I still haven't done mine," Sirius said sheepishly. "You wouldn't mind if you let me copy about the 1675 war between dwarves and goblins, right?"

James yawned again. "Sure, sure. It's on top of my trunk, under _Unfogging__ the Future. _If there's one thing I hate more than crystal gazing, it's astrology."

Sirius perked up. "I finished that one ages ago. You can copy mine if you like."

"Might as well," James answered as he opened the dormitory door. "You owe me after all for the essay, anyway."

Martin and Peter weren't in the room. "Must've gone with the girls," Remus mused aloud. 

"I always knew he was a little queer," James commented as they changed into their pj's. 

"What about old Pete? He always seems to disappear wherever we are, except in class, of course," Remus asked.

"We don't have time to fathom Peter Pettigrew's whereabouts," Sirius said in a let's-change-the-subject tone. 

"I'd hate to interrupt this lovely chat, but I need some serious sleep," James yawned. "Night, and good luck with your homework."

"Who needs luck?" Sirius asked.

"You," Remus answered. 

"I still have my CMC chart to finish," Sirius groaned, looking at his list of assignments. 

"You can copy mine," Remus offered. "If I can copy your star chart."

"Done deal," Sirius said.

*****

**A/N -** Somebody asked me why I don't update that fast anymore. Sometimes it just gets boring. After all, this is just something I do in my free time. But there is something you can do if you want me to speed things up a little. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the pattern:

Author writes the first chapter(s). Readers start to review. Author reads the reviews, becomes happy (or sad, if it's a flame), and either becomes inspired to write the next chapter or decides that the fic sucks and removes it from the site. 

So far, I haven't gotten any flames (just one piece of constructive criticism), but I sometimes don't feel like writing. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that few people read my work, so I wonder if it's any good. I mean, how am I supposed to know if only eight people review it? I've written seven chapters, and I'm still wondering. So if you've got the time, give me your opinion.


	8. Flattened

**A/N -** Okay, I know I promised a Quidditch match on the seventh, but I couldn't make it then. I just hope you found it entertaining.

**Chapter 8: Flattened**

Saturday, game day. It was 8:30 am sharp, and the game was scheduled for 10:00. The whole school was talking about the (early) upcoming match. Well, maybe not everybody…

"What do you think? Should I play the role of the princess or the Queen?" Celeste asked Chase in the girls' dormitory.

Chase had brought their breakfast to the room and was buttering a piece of toast. "I think you should shut up about that stupid play whenever you're talking to me," she answered in a bored tone. "Otherwise take the role of a lowly peasant, since you obviously need an ego deflation," she added sarcastically.

Celeste put her hands on her hips, her lips curling into a frown. "Honestly, Chase, I need an honest opinion here. You can't go walking around acting like Quidditch is the only worthy topic someone could talk about."

"I didn't mention that," Chase said calmly, handing Celeste a piece of toast and reaching for the next one. "I'm just saying that you can't expect to play the lead roles in the play on the spot. Besides, I _did _give you my honest opinion," she smirked. "A lowly peasant girl," she said slowly.

"I think the ugly, evil witch villain would suit her better," Lily said dryly as she walked by.

Chase snickered. "Harsh."

Celeste narrowed her eyes. Almost four weeks of not talking to her best friend and this was the first thing she said to break the silence? Telling her to her face that she was a cruel, _repulsive_ hag? And what about Chase? Shouldn't she be supporting _her _instead of a thick-faced traitor? "If you ask me, I think _you _would fit perfectly for the part of a scrawny, thieving hobo in the script," she shot back curtly. 

Lily smirked. "In that case, I'm glad I didn't ask you," she replied.

"Want some, Lil?" Chase asked, offering her a croissant.

Celeste glared at her sister.

"No thanks, I had some already," Lily responded politely.

"If you say so," Chase said with a shrug. "Anyway, I've gotta run. The team's supposed to practice for a few at nine sharp," she said, swinging off her bed and pulling out her broom under it.

"Nine? But it's still 8:30," Lily pointed out, holding out her watch. 

Chase shrugged into her scarlet robes over her t-shirt and jeans. "Yeah, but Mark's a sergeant for punctuality," she answered wryly.

"That doesn't mean you're supposed to leave thirty minutes early," said Lily. 

"I've got the feeling you're making me stay to help you with something," Chase said, eyeing her suspiciously.

Lily laughed. "I need you to help me choose what role to audition for in the play."

"Not that play _again!_" Chase exclaimed. Then she sighed. "Fine, if it means that much to you, you should probably try for the…" She looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "The girl who helps a group to find the kidnapped princess."

"Why that particular part?" asked Lily skeptically.

"Because," Chase started, "she's cool, she kicks butt, and she's the _least _fallacious character in the play," she finished, counting the reasons on her fingers.

"Okay, then I'll try for that part then," Lily said with a grin. "Thanks for officially persuading me."

"No problem. My other option was telling you that this play is highly irrational and totally out of the fairy-tale genre," Chase told her sardonically. 

"Are you saying the production is just a big joke?" Celeste demanded.

"No," Chase replied, drawing the word out. "I mean, look at the cast! A helpless princess, an elegant queen, the inferior subjects, an evil witch that seeks destruction on a little kingdom. Come on! If you tell me there's a knight in shining armor and a dragon, then it's confirmed that this show is definitely, boringly predictable and preposterous."

Celeste threw up her hands. "I give up. There is absolutely no way to convince you that the plot is excellent and it is doubtlessly _not _the type of medieval fictional tale that little kids listen to. You're so caught up in your own world that you think anything outside of it is illogical and ridiculously erroneous!" She threw her script on the floor and stormed out of the room. 

Lily watched her walk out, obviously amused of her petty outburst. "Just one question, O insensitive one."

"What, pray tell?" Chase answered cynically. 

Lily took her copy of the play and walked out of the room, stopping at the doorway. "Have you seen the title?" She turned and went down the stairs. 

Chase looked down at the bundle of parchment that Celeste had thrown to the floor. There, in bold calligraphy, was written: _Warped to the Past: The Medieval Story._

*****

A clatter of footsteps was heard over at the girls' staircase. Remus covered his ears with his hands as he saw Celeste thunder past. Two minutes later, it was Lily. "Hey. Can we get some quiet over here?" he called out from his armchair.

"Sorry, Rem!" Lily said over her shoulder. "I just heard from Cas Black that there were some changes in the dialogue on scene 5 and 8!"

"And _that's _the cause of your racket?"

Celeste glanced at Lily and smiled condescendingly. "Maybe it's Lily's tendency to stomp about wherever she goes, but others are…more graceful and refined with their actions," she replied.

"Like you're refined in any way, Celeste," Lily retorted.

Celeste shook her head, causing her brown locks to cascade down her back. Remus guessed she practiced that at some point in front of her mirror for whenever she was talking to a guy. "At least I wouldn't have to worry then. There must be _someone _around who's less ethereal than me," she said, looking patronizingly at Lily. She exited the room.

Lily glowered at her frame as she left, then turned back to Remus. "Can you believe her?!" she fumed, plopping down on the chair next to Remus.

Remus only chuckled. "Judging from the fact that an exchange of insults is rarely impossible, yes," he quipped.

Lily scowled at him. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant her attitude. She is just so…" 

"So what?" Remus pressed in a gentler voice. Seemed like Lil was in one of her bad moods. A mood you did not want to mess with.

"She's just so arrogant and irritating! Really, she was speaking in this patronizing tone, like I was a piece of dirt under her shoes or something. As if I was a six-year-old that she was far superior from! She's practically thinking that the whole world revolves around her, but in reality she's…"

Lily continued bad-mouthing and ranting about her ex-best friend while Remus tuned out. No use trying to break a word into whatever she was saying. She'd probably ream into _him _if he tried to reason with her. 

Remus cleared his throat just as Lily was saying, "--egotistical, tactless, supercilious bitch, that's what she is." 

"Um, Lil? If you were saying something about a change in the script, then you'd better get going if you don't want them to run out," he hedged.

Lily slapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh yeah! I totally forgot!" She ran to the portrait hole. As the Fat Lady swung open, she stopped. Remus shot her a curious glance as she looked back at him. "But they can just duplicate it magically!" she called out and came rambling back toward him. 

_My luck's probably running out, _Remus thought glumly. _This is going to be a long day…_

*****

One hour and fifteen minutes later, Remus and Lily were making their way through the Gryffindor bleachers, looking for an empty space. They finally found one next to Cassiopeia and Emmett (unfortunately). Cas looked up at them from a stack of parchment that she was reading on her lap. "Remus and Lily! How nice to see you again!" she greeted them enthusiastically.

"Uh, you last saw us yesterday," Remus said, trying hard not to laugh. 

Cas looked pleased. Emmett looked like he was trying hard to restrain himself from screaming. "It's just that I haven't gotten to chat with you since the first day of school," Cas explained to Remus.

"And that's important because…?" Remus prompted.

"Nothing. I just want to strengthen the bonds between the different-aged Gryffindors. There have been some problems with people from the same Houses arguing all the time. We have a hunch that some Slytherins have used a Brainwashing Hex on certain students, but that has yet to be confirmed correct." Cas shifted through her pile of papers, finally pulling out a bundle of sheets with a paperback cover. On the top was written _Lily Evans, Fourth Year, Gryffindor House. _It was the first time that Remus noticed that the stack was composed of several manuscripts of the school play.

"Here, Lily. I saved you a copy." Cas handed Lily her script. "I have removed all typographical errors and corrected the dialogue for various scenes," she announced. Remus stifled a laugh again. Leave it to Cas to milk it for all it's worth.

"Thanks," Lily said gratefully. "Couldn't you just, you know, duplicate these or something?" she added.

Cas's expression turned to one of shock. "Oh, _no_!" she exclaimed. "That's violating Rule 30 of the Official Rights of Wizarding Publishers. _No official book, magazine, newspaper, script or any other reading article is to be duplicated or copied in mass amounts without written or personal permission from the proper authorities._"

"Yeah, but this isn't exactly _official, _Cas," Lily pointed out.

Cas shook her head. "Yes, it is. The school is one of the largest wizarding places in Britain, therefore any publishing intended for the use of the students is considered official. We would need Professor Dumbledore's permission to emit consent to use the Reiteration Charm on the booklets."

Lily sighed in frustration. "Then why don't you ask him?"

"He is currently at the International Wizards' Convention representing the largest wizarding school in the world," Cas informed her.

"Then why don't you send an owl to him?" Remus asked.

Cas was starting to get annoyed. "_Because, _it is a very important meeting discussing the wizards' current issues in the world, and it is by law that no wizard, unless in a serious _world_ emergency, is permitted to send an owl and interrupt the conference!" she said impatiently as if this was the most obvious answer.

"Well, excuse me for not memorizing the International Wizarding Constitution," Remus muttered to Lily when Cas was talking to Emmett. 

"I wonder how Sirius copes with her at home?" Lily whispered. 

"Probably sticks earplugs in his ears whenever she's in the same room with him," Remus said with a sardonic smile.

The two of them laughed out loud. Cas shot them a look. "You wouldn't be laughing like that if you knew the most recent issue that the Ministry has to face. The stock exchange for wizards worldwide is a sham, and…"

Her voice was drowned out by a wave of cheers from the Gryffindors. Malachi Duncan's voice magnified across the whole stadium as he called out the names of the Gryffindor team.

"First up, the captain ball of the Lions, Mark Conroy!" Malachi yelled. Another scream of encouragement from their side of the bleachers.

"Yep, looks like Mark has built a pretty fine bunch for us this year. There go Erin Sinclair, Chase Tarlise, James Potter, Dione Ulysses and Sirius Black. Keith Gene, one of their Chasers, is currently confined in the hospital wing because of a recent injury. Looks like Gunther Wallace has come to take his place this early start of the season."

The Gryffindors clapped and shouted. Banners went up, with phrases such as: 'Lions Rule!' and 'Slytherins Slither in Defeat'. Boos and thumbs-down signs were the responses of the green-clad supporters. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, though, were leaning on the Gryffindors' win.

Professor McGonagall, as usual, was watching over the commentary. Malachi seemed the most appropriate for the job but she still didn't know how unbiased he really was. "The players start to mount their brooms as Madame Hooch gives the signal--" 

"Duncan, aren't you forgetting something?" Professor McGonagall interrupted.

Malachi seemed deep in thought for a moment. Then his eyes lit up. "Oh yeah! Our usual referee, Professor Thierry, has retired and left his job to Madame Hooch--"

"Not that, Duncan!" More boos from the Slytherins (Malachi was a Gryffindor).

"Okay! The referee is starting to release the four balls--"

"DUNCAN!!! DON"T START THE GAME PROPER UNTIL YOU INTRODUCE THE SLYTHERIN TEAM!!!"

Recognition (and disappointment) set in Malachi's eyes. "Oh, that! I forgot all about it." The Slytherins (literally) hissed at him. 

"Curtis, Preston, Tavia, Zacharias, Burleigh, Denzell and Curtis," Malachi said hastily. "And there goes the whistle! The players shoot into the air. Denzell catches the Quaffle--" groans from three-fourths of the crowd; cheers from the rest "--he passes to Zacharias and--Wallace intercepts the ball! A show of talent from the Gryffindor reserve…"

*****

James looked bored. He'd been staring around the field for five minutes now and he still hadn't caught sight of the Snitch. From Malachi Duncan's commentating, though, it looked like things were getting tough.

"--and another excellent blow from Ulysses, looks like this game is turning out to be in Gryffindors' favor, 40-0" Malachi was saying.

Catcalls erupted from the Slytherin fans. They had become more restless each time the Gryffindors scored a goal. 

"Burleigh catches the Quaffle--passes to Zacharias, then to Denzell. A Bludger comes from out of nowhere and--Tarlise steals the ball! Excellent flying and passing going on there, courtesy of the Gryffindor Chasers. Tavia swings the Bludger at Tarlise, Tarlise dodges and shoots, no, fakes a shot, and Denzell falls for it. Pass to Conroy--then Wallace--back to Tarlise and--Tarlise shoots! Looks like the Slytherin Keeper's taking a little nap…" More boos, drowned out by applause from the high-spirited red-clad fans.

James sighed and kept staring around for the golden ball. A flash of light caught his eyes suddenly, and just as he was preparing to dive, he stopped abruptly. It was just Chase's trademark silver chain around her neck. False alarm.

Back downfield…

"Wallace drops the Quaffle! Who swung at that Bludger…?" A cheer, for the first time in the game, emitted from the Slytherins. Sirius held his club with both hands, looking sheepish.

James exhaled sharply and flew toward them for a closer look. It seemed that Sirius (again) swung a Bludger at one of their teammates instead of the opposition. Shaking his head, he flew back to his post a few feet above the other players.

"Burleigh passes to Denzell, marked by Conroy, Denzell attempts a shoot--Conroy swats the ball! Burleigh swoops down for the catch--OUCH! gets hit by a Bludger on the forehead--Tarlise and Zacharias neck and neck to claim the Quaffle, WHAM! Black finally sets it right and hits the Bludger at Zacharias! Zacharias swerves, the Bludger passes him and--wait a minute! There's the other Bludger, coming out of nowhere, and it rams into Zacharias's stomach! Doesn't look too serious, but then again, he better be puking his guts out if he had any food before this match--"

"No side comments, Duncan!" Professor McGonagall said in an exasperated voice.

"Fine, fine. Slytherin in possession," Malachi continued, sounding bored. "Burleigh shoots, but he probably wouldn't get the Quaffle in even if he was an inch from the hoop--" The Slytherins started yelling at him and waved their wands threateningly. Malachi ignored them. "--and, of course, Sinclair blocks it, Burleigh's moves are quite easy to read, no doubt--"

"Duncan!"

"And it's Gryffindor in possession, with Tarlise handling the Quaffle. Look out for that Bludg…! She dodges it! Terrific flying tactics! Pass to Wallace, Wallace shoo--nope, eludes a Bludger from Tavia, Tavia misses, no, it hit him on the shoulder and he drops the ball…Denzell swoops underneath and catches it speeding toward the goalposts now…c'mon, Erin, show him what a Keeper's made of…!" 

A groan came from the Gryffindor side. Malachi carried on with the commentary unenthusiastically, "Denzell's shot went in, though it was probably just luck….no, I meant their luck is increasing, Professor… Couldn't take a joke, could you? Uh-huh, Gryffindor in possession, Slytherin Chasers on defense and, HEY, THAT'S A FOUL!!!" The Gryffindors gave a huge gasp. Cheers (from the Slytherins) and tokens of yelling protest (from the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) ensued.

As James looked on, Mark had held the Quaffle and was guarded by Zacharias, but Denzell, who was marking Gunther, left his post and deliberately crashed into Mark, knocking him off his broom in the process. Mark hung onto his broom with two hands and therefore released his grip on the Quaffle, whereas Burleigh caught it beneath him and flew off to the Slytherin end.

"Foul! Foul!" The Gryffindors yelled furiously, and sure enough, there came a shrill whistle that signaled a foul.

"Penalty to Gryffindor!" Madame Hooch shouted just as furiously. 

This time the Slytherins protested, including the Slytherin players. Another whistle issued from Madame Hooch and she shouted, "_Two_ penalties to Gryffindor!"

The Gryffindors cheered. "And there's the second whistle signaling a technical foul of misconduct!" Malachi shouted happily. Mark came forward to take the first shot. It went through.

"Curtis goofs again!" Malachi yelled, but a look of stern disapproval from Professor McGonagall silenced him. "Right, the Slytherin Keeper fails to block the shot, but that can happen to anyone, I'm sure," he added quickly. "Next is Tarlise, and I'm sure she's gonna make this one… Yes! Curtis can't catch it! 60-10 to Gryffindor!"

The Slytherins didn't look particularly happy now as they stared at the scoreboard, more so as they glanced at the Gryffindor banners. Some of them had changed their messages to 'Slytherin Serpents Suck,' 'The Living Proof that Snakes are Cross-eyed' and 'Gryffindors = 99% Skill, 1% Effort, Slytherins = 100% Stupidity and Lack of Capacity.' The enraged Slytherins started sending sparks to the Gryffindor banners, but the Gryffindors, not to be outdone, cast shields on the posters (and themselves). Professor McGonagall was furious with the Slytherins and yelled "One hundred points from Slytherin!" into Malachi's megaphone.

The Gryffindors were delighted. The Slytherins slumped down on their seats and silently plotted evil ways of getting revenge at the Gryffindors undetected.

Back to the game, Chase scored another goal. "And the Quaffle goes in! So far, Tarlise has scored 40 of the 70 points the Lions have made! The Gryffindors are playing superbly, superbly indeed! Denzell with the Quaffle, he's speeding nearer to the goal--A Bludger goes his way from Black and smashes his nose! Ha! That's what he gets for fouling a Chaser!"

"Bias, Duncan, bias!" Professor McGonagall scolded him. 

"Sorry Professor, couldn't help it…Slytherin in possession--still no sign of the Snitch, James?--Zacharias passes, too short! Conroy swipes the ball, passes to Wallace, he shoots, Curtis blocks it, Tarlise catches the Quaffle, guarded by Denzell, looks like a fake--shoot! Denzell thought it was a fake and the shot went through! 80-10 to Gryffindor!"

James was bored out of his wits. Usually he could find the Snitch in seven minutes or less, but the game had been going on for fifteen minutes now and-- _Wait a minute! _A Bludger whizzed past, and alongside it was…_the Snitch!_

Quickly, James scanned the area for Maximillian, and found him loitering around at the other end of the field…

Not wasting any time, James made sure that Malachi wouldn't comment about any of his movements. The whole crowd was probably too engrossed with the goal-scoring that they paid no heed to James. He stared intently at the Snitch and found out the trick. It was hiding behind that Bludger all along! The Beaters were too concentrated to hitting it away that they couldn't see the Snitch…and James couldn't see it because he was too busy trying to dodge the Bludgers and steering out of their way!

He loped (nonchalantly) toward Sirius and he came close enough that they were practically side by side. "Any luck yet, Jamie boy?" Sirius asked him, looking slightly surprised that he was down there and not looking for the Snitch.

"Listen, Sirius, when you see a Bludger, hit it at me, okay? Don't ask any questions," he added as Sirius opened his mouth to ask him why. He flew back to his post and waited. Sirius shrugged his shoulders and chased after a Bludger. He hit it hard, and it rocketed toward James, giving a faint luster at it headed toward the direction of the sun.

"What's this? Sirius, you're not supposed to hit the Bludgers at your teammates, how many times do we have to tell you?!" Malachi said. Sirius scowled at him. "Black goes back to his usual tactic of hitting the Bludger randomly at anyone close enough to be an easy target--" Malachi's eyes widened. "Hey! What's Potter up to?!"

But James ignored the commentary. It was a stroke of luck; Sirius had hit the right Bludger at him. Just as it was about to strike, James rolled over in the air (kind of hard if he's on a broomstick) and dodged it, but not before extending his hand for a brief second and latching at the Snitch.

"And Potter finally goes into action, but that's just a Bludger so--wait a second, he's reaching for something right next to the Bludger before dodging it! Could it be--?"

James held up his hand triumphantly. 

"Unless I'm mistaken, that's the Potter signal that he…_HE CAUGHT THE SNITCH!_"

The stadium practically shook as three-fourths of the spectators cheered and shouted at the top of their lungs. The Slytherins looked stunned. Meanwhile Malachi was happily announcing the score, "230-10! I can't believe it! Ha! In your face, you conniving, bastardly Slytherins!" The Slytherin team had a common look on their faces, the one that they always directed at James every time they played against Gryffindor and lost (and to Malachi too, since he was making their defeat worse).

For once, Professor McGonagall didn't shout at Malachi for his rudeness. She ran downfield, toward the Gryffindor team that was landing amid friends and fellow Gryffindors.

Remus and Lily made their way to their friends. "All right, you guys! You sure kicked butt!" Remus congratulated Sirius and James energetically. Lily was hugging Chase. "Great playing!" she told her. 

At the corner of her eye, she saw Celeste coming toward them. Just as she broke away from Chase, Sirius yelled, "Let's PARTY!!!" Which was, of course, what he always said every time the Gryffindors won. He practically owned the phrase.

*****

The common room was bursting with colorful balloons, streamers, and confetti that never seemed to cease falling from the ceiling. Free Droobles Best Blowing Gum and Chocolate Frogs were showered upon the partying students that crowded the room. As usual, a downpour of fireworks bounced all around them, but this time the donators made sure the whole lot was flameproof and anti-shock so that they veered to another direction every time they came close to colliding with a person or the buffet table that the seventh years conjured. An assortment of sweets that some people had given for free and a majority of the food on the table that the marauders nicked from the kitchen was spread out for everybody.

Sirius was pigging out in front of the buffet after a whole hour of dancing. He was also consuming _way_ too much butterbeer, too much that even if butterbeer is non-alcoholic, his eyes were already glazed over and his movements were unstable. James spotted him and dragged him to the boys' staircase.

"Yo, Sirius, I think you better take a little break from the butterbeer," James shouted to be heard over the blaring music that mysteriously pounded out of the walls. He took away the half-full bottle that Sirius was still holding. 

"What are you talking about? I've just had three teeny bottles," Sirius protested, trying to snatch the bottle back.

"Right. More like three gallons," James scoffed. "C'mon, let's go back to the dormitory."

"But it's still 4:00 p.m.," Sirius said.

James rolled his eyes. "It's almost ten, Sirius," he informed, pointing at his watch. Though Sirius probably couldn't read it after all those drinks. 

"Let's just stay for five more minutes," Sirius begged.

"No way," James said firmly. "You reek of butterbeer, and you need to take a shower and brush your teeth if you don't want to smell like a distillery all night."

"I'm okay with that," Sirius reasoned, but James just rolled his eyes again.

"Don't you think Celeste Schoharie will find you a total turnoff if she sees you like this?" James asked impatiently, trying a different move.

"No. And she's too busy practicing for her audition to party all night, so she's not here." Sirius successfully snatched the bottle from James's hands and drank a big gulp.

"Sirius!" James yelled.

"You're not the boss of me," Sirius said in an indistinct way, as if he didn't know who he was talking to.

"You sound like a four-year-old," James commented, annoyed. 

"Nooo…I…doon't…" Sirius started to say, but his head rolled back and he fell sound asleep.

James sighed. _Oh well. At least it'd be easier this way._

*****

Remus found his two friends sitting down by the stairs. _That's weird, _he thought. _Considering Sirius is usually the last one leaving the dance floor after every party._

As he came closer, he noticed that Sirius was on the verge of falling asleep and James was on the verge of screaming his lungs out. Remus smirked. Most likely Sirius's doing.

"Hey, guys," Remus greeted. He plopped down on the third step.

"Try saying, 'Hey, James,' since Party Guy over here dozed off after consuming thirty-one bottles of butterbeer," James answered dryly.

Remus chuckled. "That's going too far," he remarked lightly.

"Whatever. Now, get out of the way so I can put the Levitation Charm on him."

"As you wish, master," Remus quipped, leaning on the banister to make a clear path.

_"Wingardium Leviosa!" _James yelled, pointing his wand at Sirius. Sirius floated four feet above the ground, horizontal.

"There. That should do it," James said.

"But if he keeps on going up, he's gonna knock his head on the walls or a higher step since the stairs are spiral," Remus pointed out.

"Let him knock his head where he wants," James said. "He's still going to have a major hangover after this, whichever the case."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Try letting him float vertically, then, stupid," he suggested sarcastically.

James slapped his hand to his forehead. "I knew that," he said quickly. He waved his wand around a bit and Sirius reverted to a standing pose.

The three friends climbed up the stairs to the dormitory, Sirius's head bumping into the steps above since he was floating so high.

Fortunately the dormitory was already close at hand. James opened the door, but he didn't come in.

"What's the holdup?" Remus said, trying to peer over James's shoulder.

"What are _you _two doing here?" James exclaimed. Then, remembering Sirius and Remus, he fell back and let them pass.

Lily and Chase were perched on the edge of Sirius's bed, each holding a copy of the play.

"What are you doing here?" Remus exclaimed.

"I think James already asked that," Chase said wryly.

"Yeah, but girls aren't allowed here, you know," Remus said. 

"Yeah, we _know,_" Chase responded. "We just wanted to get away from people who think that makeovers and hairstyles and nightgowns make up a party, find low-calorie snacks the best food they can eat, and take idiotic quizzes on irrational multiple-choice questions in fashion magazines about how to attract guys seriously," she finished in pretty much one breath.

"In other words, the girls' dormitory," Lily supplied.

"Oh," James and Remus said in unison.

"What happened to this guy?" Chase asked, tapping her booklet against Sirius's forehead.

James let out a low whistle. "Drank too much butterbeer," he explained.

"Okay," Chase said slowly.

"Why do you ask?" Remus said suspiciously.

"Because. He stinks, he's sweaty and he's in serious need of a shower," Chase answered with a smirk.

"Ah," Remus nodded. "Bring out the bad points first."

"I actually thought you were _concerned_," Lily commented.

"Sorry to disappoint," Chase said with a shrug, popping a stick of gum into her mouth. "Want one?" she asked to the three of them, holding out the packet.

"Glad to, but would you get off Sirius's bed first?" Remus said.

Without waiting for an answer, Remus and James heaved their friend onto the bed. The two girls jumped off abruptly.

"You could have at least _warned _us before throwing him on the bed," Lily complained, rubbing a bruise on her knee. She had bumped it on the foot of James's bed when she dodged Sirius.

"What's done is done. What are you two working on, anyway?" James inquired.

Lily rolled her eyes. "If you knew how to read, you'd know that we're practicing for the auditions."

"_Chase_ is going to audition?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"No, she's just reading out the part of another character," Lily corrected. "Hey, I know! Why don't you two read parts for us?"

James pushed the copy away. "No way. You're not gonna make me act out a part on that dumb scene."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "You're just going to _read it aloud, _Mr. Spock. Is there any reason why you don't think you can't speak and read properly?"

"Of course there is. I have severe tonsillitis and my tongue's all swollen," James said in a raspy voice, clutching his throat and sticking his tongue out like a dog. 

"Hilarious antics," Chase observed. "You can pass as the royal Labrador."

"And that's the _only _part he's fit for," Remus said with a laugh. James scowled at him.

"Whatever. Now, if the royal dog doesn't want to read, then you should do, Rem," Lily said. She handed him a spare copy.

"Oookay. Which one should I read out?" Remus asked. 

Lily inspected the page. "Try Jabez, the village deputy," she said. "Chase will read out Alexia's part."

Remus cleared his throat. "Bad news, girls. We just found out that the princess is held captive in Demi Murthion."

"You mean, the dead country?" Chase asked.

"'Fraid so," Remus replied.

"There must be _some _way to stop them!" Lily said dramatically. Chase laughed.

"What?" Lily demanded.

"That is _so _the wrong word to emphasize," Chase remarked.

"Well, it's _so _my audition," Lily shot back. Chase only laughed harder.

"Let's just try it again," Remus said. 

"Okay," Chase nodded.

"Bad news, girls. We just found out that the princess is held captive in Demi Murthion."

"You mean, the dead country?" read Chase.

"'Fraid so," Remus responded.

"There _must _be some way to stop them!" Lily exclaimed.

Chase burst out laughing.

"What now?" Lily said, looking a little annoyed.

"You're not supposed to say it in a cheerful tone," Chase stated.

"I wasn't saying it that way," Lily retorted impatiently.

"Cut! Take two," James shouted, slicing a hand through the air.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Remus asked him.

"The director," James replied.

"Funny. I thought you had _severe tonsillitis and a really swollen tongue,_" said Lily.

"It's better now," James said innocently.

"Right. Maybe you should practice _your _line first, Lil," Chase suggested.

"Sure." Lily coughed. "There must _be _some way to--"

Chase let out a snort.

"Fine, if you're so good, why don't you try it?" Lily asked, irritated.

"Piece of cake," Chase countered. "There must be some way to stop them," she said in an urgent tone.

"Bravo!" James cheered.

"Man. _You _should try out for the play," Remus commented.

"Blah, blah, blah. I can do better than that." Lily stood up.

"Let 'er rip," Chase said with a smirk.

"_There _must be--"

"Nope." Chase shook her head.

"There must be some _way--_"

"Not even close."

"There _must be--_"

"Nuh-uh."

"_There must _be _some--_"

"There must be some way to make you shut up," Remus said.

Lily glared at him. "There must be some _way _to--"

"Negative," Chase interrupted, looking amused.

"There must be some way _to--_"

Martin opened the door. "No girls allowed here. Scram," he told them.

"There is a god!" Remus cheered.

*****


	9. The Cynic Speaks

**Chapter 9: The Cynic Speaks**

Chase was lying on her stomach on her bed, writing an extra-long essay for Ancient Runes when Lily burst into the room.

"Yes! Yes! I did it!" Lily yelled happily, waving a sheet of paper into the air. She bounced up to Chase and shook her shoulders, causing Chase to draw a jagged line down the parchment.

"What did you do that for?" Chase asked, tracing the tip of her wand on the offending line and erasing it. 

"Aren't you going to ask what great thing just happened today?" Lily asked giddily, rolling back and forth on the balls of her feet.

Chase shrugged her shoulders wearily. "Nah. Aside from Sirius's most recent 'accident' of sending Professor Flitwick flying to the ceiling and sending him to the hospital wing with reports of a serious concussion, I think there's nothing else interesting worth mentioning about this day," she said sarcastically, returning her attention on her homework.

"Oh, please," Lily said, lightly punching her friend on the shoulder and again causing her to make a crooked line where an 'h' should have been.

"What is _with _you today?" Chase exclaimed, rolling her eyes and correcting it with her wand again. "You're acting way too hyper-cheerful, considering the fact that we've been given eight long essays to submit _tomorrow _and a ton of reading for Binns."

"Being studiously aware of homework doesn't suit you, Ms. Cynic." Lily shook her head, a grin still plastered on her face.

"Like I haven't been on the honor roll since first year, Lil," Chase shot back.

Lily was still smiling. "A little fun now and then never hurt anyone."

"Oh? I don't actually think that getting whacked and annoyed by my unusually _cheerful _friend is something you would define fun," Chase answered dryly.

Lily laughed while Chase shook her head. "I'm just in a great mood! Now, if you'll just listen--"

Chase sat up suddenly and felt Lily's forehead. "You don't feel warm…" she said with a smirk.

"Ha, ha, ha," Lily replied, though she couldn't have rolled her eyes if she tried. 

"Seriously, though, did you eat some kind of reverse-personality pill from your friends lately?" Chase inquired in a mock concerned voice.

Lily just smiled. Irritatingly so. "No, if it's that important to you," she said simply.

Chase shook her head slowly. "Whatever you say." She lowered her pen into the ink bottle.

Lily knocked her wrist over and the ink spread all over the bed, creating a huge, black stain on the blanket and Chase's essay. Chase jumped off the bed in an instant.

"Lily!" she shouted exasperatedly. "Are you _trying _to irritate me out of my wits, or is this just the usual way you behave when you're overly-giddy?!"

Lily skipped over to her own, ink-free bed. _Skipped._Was the girl losing it or something?

"Okay, I'm sorry," Lily said sincerely sitting cross-legged on her bed, one leg swinging back and forth.

Chase, who was racking her brain for an appropriate spell to clean up this mess, didn't answer. "What charm was that again? Franzel's gonna kill me, and I was halfway through his stupid essay about gauntlets and mithril already…"

Lily cleared her throat. "Aren't you _ever _going to ask what happened today?" she pressed, accidentally kicking Chase's ankle as she swung her leg.

"Now you're adding physical injury to the list," Chase said, wincing as she rubbed at the sore spot on her ankle. "Well, if it'll make you shut up and act like yourself…What?"

Lily nodded, her long, red pony-tailed hair bobbing up and down. "I got the role!" she announced triumphantly.

"Good for you," Chase responded unenthusiastically, finally coming up with the right spell and twirling her wand around like crazy.

"You know, the one you recommended? The detective girl who got sucked into the time warp and helped solve the case of the kidnapped princess?" Lily continued.

"Uh-huh. What are you so happy for, anyway? The plot's lame, the characters are lame, and if you're not going to stop blathering about lame stuff, I'm going to disown you for being a lame ex-best friend," Chase answered, concentrating hard on the ink blob.

Lily drummed her fingers on the side of her bed. "You can insult the production all you want, but I still got the part. And you _advised _me to go for it," she reminded. Not even her friend's negativity would ruin her good mood.

"It was the _least _superficial part in the whole play, and if you had any sense you wouldn't have auditioned for it in the first place," Chase said.

"Then why did you help me practice?" Lily asked shrewdly.

Chase rolled her eyes. Amazing that they didn't roll right out of her head. "You practically _threatened _me to help you, remember?"

"But I got the part anyway."

"So?"

"In your face!" Lily exclaimed, pointing her index finger at her friend.

"Like I care," Chase retorted, a half-smile on her face. Sometimes Lily was just _way _too weird, it was amusing.

"Well, all that matters is that I got the lead role, _not_ Celeste I'm-ready-for-my-close-up-studio-pic Schoharie," Lily pointed out dominantly.

"Interesting alias," Chase said with a smirk. "Now, if you'd only tell me what role my dearest sister _did _ge--"

Her words were cut off by a loud bang that came from the general direction of the doorway. The impact was so strong that their four-poster beds shook. 

Standing in the middle of the doorway, breathless but perfectly groomed except for her flushed, angry face, was Celeste Schoharie.

*****

"Speak of the devil," Lily grumbled. Her happy state had completely dissolved. Leave it to Celeste Schoharie to kill her good mood. 

Celeste walked briskly toward them. Chase sighed, closed the textbook that she was currently reading, and vaguely muttered something that sounded like "Why do I bother?"

"Can you _believe _what Cassiopeia Black and all those other role-picking freaks just did?" she seethed, plopping down on Chase's bed and conveniently ignoring the fact that Lily was sitting directly in front of her. Lily slid a few inches so she faced Chase, who had given up studying altogether. 

"Well, if you consider that Cas Black is the most sensible student in this school and would obviously become the next Head Girl once the next school year starts, I _can_ believe it," Chase said wryly. Lily leaned over and pulled out one of Chase's old sketchbooks that cluttered the bottom of her bed.

"Chase, please!" Celeste said in an annoyed tone, her almond-shaped blue eyes rolling and her slender hands on her slim hips. "This is not the time for your sarcastic jokes."

Chase nodded. "Ma'am, yes, ma'am," she said sarcastically. 

"The new issue begins," Lily said under her breath, flipping over a page in the sketchbook and looking closely at a Chase caricature drawing. She traced her finger over the bold outline. Funny. Chase was known throughout the whole school as an artist, but half of her individual works were all black and white. 

Celeste threw a quick glare at her, confirming the fact that she _had _spoken loud enough for the girl to hear. Suddenly the answer clicked. _Celeste _was the one responsible of coloring the sketches. Chase could well have done the whole thing herself, but she just had to let her sister do half of the colors. Maybe it was some deep way of sharing their sisterhood. 

"Why are you acting so weird today?" Chase was saying when Lily listened in again. "It's like you're possessed or something."

"Yeah. By the spirit of a deranged lunatic," Lily added, snickering.

Celeste glowered at her. "Did you hear something, Chase?" she said loudly.

Chase shrugged. "Sure did. Lily said--"

"Why can't you get the hint?" Celeste snapped.

Chase looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answers as to why her friend and her sister were going crazy today. "Ookay," she said slowly, drawing out the word. "Let's just get to the point, then. No bull."

Celeste took a deep breath. "That would be wise," she muttered.

"Right. What are you so upset about?" Chase started. 

"It's this!" Celeste said in a disgusted voice, slapping a piece of parchment that was obviously torn from a big one into Chase's palm.

Chase unfolded the paper. _"We, the role-picking committee, Professor Sibyll Trelawney (the head director), and Cassiopeia Black (the student director) are happy to announce that you, _Celeste Shaina Schoharie _have been chosen as one of the most important characters. Through careful judging and fair grading of ability, we have accepted you to take the role of _Septima the Dark Mage. _She is the mastermind behind Princess Alzena's abduction, and lives in the faraway country of Demi Murthion, confining the princess in the dreaded __Tower__ of __Holocaust__. This role is of utmost importance to our production. We would like to acknowledge your superb talent, and we remind you that it is a privilege to be able to be accepted in this first official attempt for a Hogwarts play. We believe your stage presence is of the best quality we've seen so far, and we sincerely hope that you will apply it to all of our future rehearsals. _

_"The rehearsal proper begins next Tuesday. For the upcoming weeks before December's last, we shall have practices every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at __3:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.__ Students included in the production are permitted to leave their classes at __3:00__ to get ready for rehearsals. Mindful of these schedules, you need not hand in assignments that have been given in your absence, but you shall still have to take several short quizzes and the final exams for your grades. We believe that you are practical enough to manage your time and balance academics with this major activity. Should you think that you cannot perform both at once, we will understand if you do not desire to enter the play. Please notify us by October 23 for your decision. On the next page is the schedule, including three dress rehearsals and one General Rehearsal on the last day. We shall present our accomplishments on Christmas Eve at __11:00 p.m.__" _Chase read aloud. "That isn't so bad," she remarked. "I mean, at least you don't have to take all the bad ones like Potions and half the classes in Divination--"

"That's not what I meant!" Celeste screamed at her, swiping the parchment back and refolding it. 

Lily stifled a giggle. Chase shot her a look that clearly said, "Don't push it. This could get nasty." Lily complied. But it sure took great effort not to laugh out loud. Just another reason as to why she deserved to be in the play.

"_What_ is _wrong_ with you?!" Celeste ranted on when Chase didn't say anything. "Don't you understand what this means? What horrendous act they unjustly punished me with?"

Lily snorted. 

Chase smirked. "Horrendous act? Unjustly punished you? What did you do, hide someone else's costume while they were auditioning or something?" 

Celeste's face turned a deeper shade of red. "You are so clueless," she whispered in a deadly tone, her voice dripping with abhorrence and disgust. 

Chase backed up a little. "Jeez, sis, just because you didn't get the role you wanted doesn't mean that you can get all high and mighty," she said exasperatedly. "I mean, what's the big deal?"

"THE BIG DEAL IS THAT THEY CHOSE ME TO PLAY THE ROLE OF AN INSANELY UGLY, WART-FACED, CACKLING MORON OF A WITCH!!!" Celeste shouted furiously. A nearby vase burst into a million pieces, and a picture frame of Sylvia cracked into half.

Lily burst out laughing. "In case you haven't noticed, you _are _a witch," she deadpanned. 

"And you just about insulted the whole female population of our world with your spiteful comment," Chase added, smiling amusedly. 

Celeste stared at her twin in disbelief, and gave Lily an ultimate glare of hate. She stood up abruptly, shoving the note into her little blue bag. "Fine! If all you can do is insult your own sister, and…and _bond with the enemy, _I don't even know what I came here for!" she said angrily, her voice shaking with rage.

"Bond with the enemy?" Chase laughed. "Celes, I think that's going too far." 

Lily could practically see the steam shooting out of Celeste's ears. "I thought," Celeste said in a low voice, "that my twin would be there for me. That she would be sympathetic. I thought she could do it just this once and leave her sarcasm for another day. I guess I was wrong." With that, she whirled around and stalked out the open door, letting it slam magically behind her.

As soon as she left, Lily started chuckling again. "_Don't you understand what this means? What horrendous act they unjustly punished me with?_" Lily mimicked in a high-pitched voice before rolling off her bed and clutching her stomach in fits of boisterous laughter.

"It wasn't that bad," Chase commented. "I mean, you know how Celes can be when she's mad."

"She deserves it," Lily gasped out, her head reappearing on the side of her bed. "She deserves what she got."

"What exactly did she try out for?" Chase wondered aloud.

Lily smiled smugly. "Princess Alzena," she said with a smirk.

Chase's eyes widened. "Not the helpless maiden?" she said in mock horror. "What crazed idea was she thinking of?"

"Don't be so surprised, oh wise one. Besides, a villain would suit her better," Lily remarked gleefully. "But if she dropped out of the play, it would be better," she added ruefully.

A strange, almost sad expression dawned on Chase's face, but it was gone so quickly that Lily wondered if she just imagined it. "Don't be so cruel. She is my sister, after all," Chase replied, her half-smile returning.

"Okay," Lily said slowly, looking at her friend's face. No sign of sorrow there. Weird. A silence fell over the two of them, and Lily decided to ease the mood a bit. "It was good enough that the two of us saw her like that, but having Sirius and James here would be even better." 

Chase raised her eyebrows. "Oh? So now you're setting her up for public ridicule?"

Lily smirked. "Partly, yes. But Sirius would be totally turned off once he sees the object of his infatuation acting like the Drama Queen that Time Forgot, and Celeste would be so mortified if James saw her that she wouldn't have a chance with him."

Again, there came a strange look on Chase. But this time, it wasn't of sorrow. It _was _an emotion (or lack of emotion, in Chase's standards), but Lily couldn't quite place it. She had a feeling that whatever it meant wasn't good. "Reasonable," Chase nodded. "But is there any other reason as to why you mentioned your friends?"

Lily was caught off guard. "We-ell, I just don't want them mixing with a bitch like that," she defended.

Chase gave her a look that said, "Yeah right."

"What? What do you want me to say?" Lily exclaimed.

"Maybe you're implying that you _like _a certain someone that you just mentioned," Chase said abruptly.

Lily froze with fear, but suddenly she laughed. "What are you talking about? You mean _James?_" 

Chase shrugged. That was the Tarlise code of "Yeah, so?"

"I _don't _like him!" Lily said loudly between a fit of giggles. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about the fact that you and Celes argued about him almost two months ago and stopped all forms of friendly communication since then," Chase pointed out.

"That? I was only pointing out the obvious reasons why James Potter is _not _dating material," Lily said. "I mean, he's gross and rude and a sexist idiot--"

"And you _like _him," Chase interjected. "I don't know why you just can't tell me that."

Lily analyzed her friend's features. Chase looked serious. Determined, even. 

"Come on, Lily, I know you better than that. You can't deny what you yourself already know. Or maybe you just don't want to admit it?"

Lily restrained herself from dropping her friend's gaze. But she blinked first.

That was enough for Chase. "Get it on with, Lil," Chase said, shaking her head. "It's never too late to do what you have to do."

"But--I really don't…" Lily sighed. How could she explain this to a person who already knew everything?

"Uh-huh. Whatever reason you come up with, it's not good enough to persuade me. So you might as well give up." Chase picked up her books and materials and shoved them into a backpack. "Anyway, gotta go. There's some stuff I need to do, one of which is to calm a psychotic lunatic who's going to end up in a mental institute if I don't find her ASAP. Ciao." Chase lifted her chin at her and walked out of the room, her loaded-down bag bouncing as she retreated down the stairs.

Lily stared out the doorway long after she had gone. Slowly, she took out her wand and pointed it at the door, immediately shutting it and drowning out the noise of the common room below. That left her to her unorganized, irrational thoughts.

There was something about Chase that made all her words hit you hard. It was one thing that Lily never found out the reason of, one thing that always left her wondering what her impossibly unreadable friend would do. Casting the thought aside, she let her mind drift back to the past, back when Lily was still known as 'that red-haired Muggle-born witch.' She couldn't forget the time when Chase made friends with her when she couldn't recognize anybody and no one bothered to know anything about her. She could still clearly see the times when she was more than a little crazed, more than a little confused. She imagined herself then, miserably failing to persuade Chase of believing the untruths, watching Chase shake her head and calmly tell her that she knew what was going on and there was no way that Lily could just deny it. She saw an eleven-year-old, long-brown-haired girl striding out of the room, stopping for only a brief second in the doorway to say something to Lily that always made her come back to her senses and made the whole issue clear. She comprehended what she had always done then: deny the whole thing even though she knew it was useless to do so.

She remembered what Chase said, what her face looked like when she made Lily understand that she should do what she had to do. 

Lily closed her eyes as a cool breeze from outside touched her face. And remembered how many times Chase had been right.

*****

_Crocodile heart, an eagle's feather, clipped lion's hair, a cup of green gooey stuff that came from the organs of a chimera-beast… Where's that god damned fang?!!!_

James dug through his trunk, through Sirius's, through all the other boys' personal belongings in the dormitory. He rummaged through his Potions ingredients thrice, accidentally dropped a Dungbomb, and shattered a vial that contained a very potent Reeking Repellant. Now the dorm just looked like a tornado-blown chamber that smelled like shit mixed with skunk and dirty socks and rotten animal meat. And he still hadn't found the boa constrictor fang that would complete his Animal Transformation Solution. 

"Ugh! Where is it?!!!" he yelled to no one in particular, sweeping his hand over his batch of ingredients and utensils from the desk and sending them crashing and squishing to the floor. He panted hard, surveying the mess. _Okay, Potter. Stop acting like a demented idiot._

"Seven inches?" a voice called from the doorway. 

James froze. _Please don't let it be who I don't want it to be…_

It was. Leaning against the doorframe, tossing and catching a venom-dripping fang with her right hand and wearing a smirk on her face was Chase Tarlise. 

"Could my luck get any worse?" James muttered under his breath as Chase looked down at the floor to find a piece of floor to step on. He didn't realize just _how _messy he had left the room during his temporary insanity.

Chase must have gotten the impression that there was no other option but to just kick things out of the way, so she did just that until she had gotten a clear path to James's bed. She perched on the edge of his bed, sweeping aside a pile of soiled clothes that he had used during his last detention.

"Sorry for the outburst," he apologized quickly before Chase could come up with a sardonic remark about the state of the room.

Chase nodded, one half of her mouth still drawn upward. A dimple popped up on her cheek as she smirked. "No biggie," she replied, setting her bulky knapsack on the foot of the four poster. She dug around in her open pack and extracted her wand. Twirling it like a baton, James saw books, clothes and prank paraphernalia flying back to their original places in the room. Dirty shirts and jeans shot to the laundry hamper and pieces of loose parchment flew to a neat stack on the miraculously cleared desk. As soon as the room was in order, Chase gave her wand a final twirl and a bluish-lavender smoke rose from the tip, filling the room with a fragrant, flowery smell that overpowered the Reeking Repellant. "There," she said satisfactorily, tossing her wand back into her bag.

"Thanks," said James, "but I don't think we need girls' perfume as the smell of the room…"

Chase grinned. "That's the price you pay for letting me clean up your room," she deadpanned. "Or would you like me to wallpaper the walls pink too?"

"No! Flowery scents are enough!" James said quickly when Chase lifted her wand again. 

"Oral consent," Chase said in pretend seriousness, putting her wand in her pocket. 

"So…are you here to look for Remus?" James asked, feeling only a slight twinge of jealousy. He didn't like Chase _that _much. Not really.

Chase shrugged. "Nah. I was going to talk to you about something important, but due to your psychotic tendencies, I think I'll take a rain check," she said dryly.

James felt his heart beat a little faster. He ordered himself to stop. _Once girls talk about being exclusive, it just leads to temporary happiness followed by obsession followed by overwhelming disappointment, _James's inner voice chanted. _But how bad could it be, really? _another voice demanded. _You break up, then you move on. End of story. _"Nope, I'm not that crazy--yet," he countered. "Come on. You said this was important, right? Let's hear it." He sat on Sirius's bed, facing Chase. 

"Okay, but before you say anything, it's about Lily," Chase said bluntly. 

James started to see red, but--

"And this isn't about some stupid fake relationship joke," Chase added quickly. James exhaled. 

"What's there to talk about her?" James asked in a harsher voice than he intended. "I mean, you already know everything about her, so you don't need to hear anything from me."

Chase shook her head. "It's not that. It's just --" She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, and I swear on my behalf as a member of the magical community that I'm not joking." Another pause. "Lily has a crush on you."

James didn't realize that his mouth had dropped open. There were a thousand thoughts and emotions running through his head in barely a split second that he started to feel a head rush coming. "W-what?" he finally managed. _Nice, James, _he taunted himself. _Really eloquent._

Chase looked at him expectantly, her shoulder-length brown hair tumbling over her shoulder as she tilted her head. "Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked in a demanding sort of voice.

James's mouth suddenly felt completely dry. He coughed and reached for the pitcher of water and a glass on Sirius's bedside table to stall. Drinking the water slowly, he avoided all forms of eye contact between him and Chase.

"Well?" Chase asked again.

James willed himself to look her straight in the eye and attempted what he thought was a mock-believing expression on his face. _Pretend-acceptance equals not serious equals not true. _Chase's face was a serious as stone. What did the girl want from him? What did she want him to say?

"Um, if you don't mind my asking, what _is _your particular role in this?" he said, not coming up with any other thing to point out that this was seriously wrong.

Chase sighed. "I know, I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's not usual for me to butt into someone else's business, especially something about _love,_" she added with disgust. "But I can't take seeing my best friend tripping all over herself for a guy who doesn't even know she has feelings for him."

James tried not to flinch when she implied that love was something she could do without. "So you're saying I'm not worth falling for?" he asked, offended.

"Oh, no," she assured quickly. "I didn't mean that. I just don't get why Lily couldn't gather the courage to say something to you. I mean, all this could've been taken straight from a soap opera or something. Lil's so outspoken, but when it comes to romance, she's a little…clueless."

James's eyebrows raised. "So you're saying that _you're _the big love expert?" he demanded.

Chase laughed, not an exaggeratedly flirty laugh, but not a girlish little giggle either. It was just…Chase's laugh. "Me? A romantic? Are you kidding?" She tied her hair into a ponytail and let out another chuckle.

"Then what are you here for? Why are you persuading me to like Lily when she's not even the girl I'm in love with--?" Oops. That wasn't supposed to come out.

Chase didn't seem to notice. "Right. See, I'm not asking you to get together with her, I just want you to let her know that you're not interested or something."

James stared back at her dancing blue eyes in disbelief. "Wait a minute--you're not telling me to _confront _her, are you?" he asked suddenly. He couldn't imagine a dispute with Lily Evans. Well, he could, but the only one his mind could come up with was a hurl of hexes and a mutilated face in the end. Definitely not good.

"Yep. Sounds stupid, doesn't it?" she quipped. "Even _I _can't imagine you and Lily having a heart-to-heart talk," she said with a smirk. 

"Well then, if even the persuader thinks that that option is illogical, more so the person you're trying to persuade," James shot back. "There is no way that you're going to get me to talk to her, and that's final." It came out coming as a bark.

Chase's eyes were still twinkling with amusement. God. Did nothing faze this girl? "You know, you're just going to end up being with her in the end," she predicted confidently.

"No way," James said firmly. _Absolutely no rational way, _he added silently. 

"Fine, it's your life," Chase said with a shrug. "But I deserve the right to say 'I told you so' when things go my way."

"Whatever," James mumbled, standing up and walking to the window. He waited until the last possible second to glance back at her.

He turned around--and noticed that she had already left.

_She was just kidding, _a voice in his head reasoned. _Chase is a good actress. Sirius probably tricked her into talking to you._

_Chase might be good in acting, but she's not the type who can get fooled by just anybody, _another, more traitorous voice answered.

James shook his head, hoping that the process could clear his thoughts. Putting it logically, he knew that (1) Chase would never pull something like this, (2) It was impossible for Lily to actually _like_ like him, and (3) He was going to go even crazier than he already was if he couldn't straighten it all out. Obviously, he had stepped into a completely parallel universe in the past five minutes. 

He sat down on his bed and dropped back onto the pillow. As he did so, something that sounded like paper cracked underneath his back.

He pulled it out and examined it under the light. In it was an anime style SD sketch of the six of them, Sirius with a hitchhiker thumb pointing in James's direction and shaking his head, Remus beside him with an expression of agreement. Celeste had her arms folded and was giving Lily a look that implied "You'd better do this right." James was front and center in the picture, not looking at anybody and with his head down. Lily was a little bit behind him to the right, where Chase was pushing her forward. She had a downcast look on her face. On the left side of her chest was a bright red heart that stood out, and it had a jagged line drawn through the middle.

*****

Sirius came out of the library, whistling. He had just been from another round of sneaking into the Restricted Section and hacking out all the potential course books for study; things like _Advanced Hexes for the Modern Mind _and _Curses: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. _It was so easy to get past Madame Pince and her student assistants. He could practically do it with his eyes closed. He wondered why so many 'sensible' people couldn't even spot a prankster who was walking to a forbidden place in plain sight. Moronic, but at least it made it easier for him. 

The only downside to that entertaining experience was that he had to lug several thick books with over a thousand pages all the way to the seventh floor and up the dormitory. Not exactly a thrilling aspect.

He staggered up a flight of stairs and stumbled on the landing step, sending four books flying in all directions. "What am I doing?" he muttered. He waved his wand and the books flew into his magically expanded bag (from the inside). Then he cast a spell on it so it would be as light as air.

_Stupid.__ After countless times of breaking the 'No Magic' rule in detention, you didn't use it when you _weren't _told that it was forbidden, _he chided himself. Maybe the snotty idiot junior librarians' way of thinking was affecting his brain. He finally reached the last step on the second floor and trudged down the hallway. Portraits leered at him as if they knew that he was smuggling out books that he shouldn't be reading from the LRC. 

"What are you lookin' at?" he said loudly to a painting of a group of women dressed in frilly clothes. They were probably the medieval counterparts of country-club gossips whose mouths moved faster than the speed of light. 

The women jumped and returned to their business of conversing loudly and letting out the occasional giggle. One of them threw a nasty look at Sirius.

Shrugging, Sirius went on down the corridor. There were fewer paintings here, which Sirius took as a good sign. He stopped short, hearing indistinct voices farther down the corridor.

He squinted. One figure was thin and had what looked suspiciously like a crystal ball in her hand. The other was tall, long-fingered and had the ugliest face you could imagine… _Well, second, _Sirius thought. _Snape's got the top spot in _that _department._

_Then again, _he decided, _they both deserve the number one spot. _

He noticed that they weren't turning on any intersections and were heading straight at him. Uh-oh. Wouldn't want to be caught poaching Dark Arts books by an oversized glittering dragonfly and the surliest, most vindictive ten-detentions-a-day-giver homo erectus on earth. 

Acting quickly, he lifted the side of an oil painting and pushed a brick in the middle of the wall it covered. The wall moved back and created an opening just large enough for him to enter. He slipped into the crack and the wall automatically shut behind him.

_"Lumos," _Sirius whispered, taking out his wand. The small light illuminated the dim surroundings, creating a silent, eerie effect. A spider crawled up his arm and he swatted it away as he made his way down the cramped space. Mentally scanning the image of the Marauder's Map, he estimated that this route would lead somewhere on the third floor. It circled all the way around the second floor in a one-way direction, so it would make it harder for him. _Oh, well. At least I didn't have to deal with an oversized fog-sphere-toting fairy and the dyspeptic lout from Planet Antagona._

It was hard walking through the dark, stuffy path. At some point it was so cramped that Sirius had to crawl on his hands and knees and somewhere else he had to walk side-view because it was so narrow.

When he finally escaped that airless mass of space, he slipped out just in the nick of time. He took a quick glance around (trying to look inconspicuous) and saw the retreating back of Apollyon Pringle rounding the corner. Sighing in relief, he walked more briskly. He wouldn't want to meet any encounters with other, strict-about-rules teachers, did he?

As he rounded the corner, he slammed into another student and fell onto the floor in a sitting position. "Ow! Watch where you're--"

The words died in his throat. Celeste Schoharie was in the act of standing up after hitting the tiles hard, wincing. "Why don't _you _watch where you're going?" she grumbled as she straightened up. 

"I-I'm sorry," Sirius stammered, leaning over to pick up his backpack.

"I'm sure you are," Celeste said in a sarcastic voice, certainly not like the way Chase intoned cynicism. 

"Chill, sis," Chase's voice said amusedly behind her twin. "Most accidents happen to ephemerally psycho people in these cases." 

Celeste glared at her. "Is that your way of showing sympathy to your own sister?" she spat.

Chase smirked. "Sympathy? My dear Celeste, if you need consolation, find one of those touchy-feely guidance counselors--or at least a hardworking social worker. You could even expect it from a country-club butt kisser, but definitely not from a freethinking maverick."

Celeste flipped her hair back. "I don't need this," she muttered under her breath. She stalked down the lobby in a huff. 

"What's with her?" Sirius asked Chase.

"Like I said, she's suffering from momentary lunacy," Chase said dryly. "And an hour of strolling around a gigantic castle with a cynic is just what the doctor prescribed."

Sirius cracked a smile. "Who's the doctor, then?"

"Moi, of course," Chase said, laying a hand to her chest exaggeratedly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to attend to. Being a prescribed medicine is hard work," she deadpanned.

"Best of luck," Sirius answered. 

"Yeah. And I'm not even getting paid for it," Chase agreed. "Later."

"Later," Sirius laughed as she dashed down the corridor. 

Sometimes a sarcastic friend was enough to ease his spirits.

*****

**A/N -** Before you start in on me, I've got four reasons for being late:

School started about a week ago. I'm not an American, I'm not British, so I'm sorry if my country's rainy season is from early June to September. School sucks. I have a ton of homework everyday, and there's no way I can cram in some writing time unless by some miracle my teachers suddenly become charitable. I hate school, but I have to get high grades (from the annoying insistence of my academically critical parents). School really sucks. Did I mention that? I finished this chapter, but when I logged into fanfiction.net, the hard drive or something or other was busted so I couldn't upload. And the last…when I last checked the computer, the file for this chapter was gone, and I didn't even have any back-up files! Sob, sob… I had to rewrite everything and I hope you didn't find it sucky. It's hard rewriting something that I haven't even run through yet… 

So that's that. I can't write a chapter in four to five days anymore… 

Hmmm, before I forget. Review if you have time to spare! Thanks ^_^

-Dimantrien


	10. Partner Problem

**Chapter 10: Partner Problem **

It didn't take Sirius long to walk back to the common room. Knowing the best shortcuts to get there took a huge burden (despite the fact that his backpack was feather-light) off his shoulders. 

When he got to the dormitory, he found James sitting on his bed, staring off into space. _Wonder what that's about._

Remus was lying, stomach down, on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. Apparently he had just gone from a detention. In this case, an extremely strenuous one. 

"You okay, Rem?" Sirius asked, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Remus groaned. "Does it _look_ that way?" he replied, his voice muffled. "If you were the one who had to haul up two hundred copies of _The Complete Guide to the Magical Plant Kingdom _from the first floor to the _seventh _floor and back, then I'd have the pleasure of laughing and making enjoyable anecdotes."

"Up to the seventh floor and back?" Sirius echoed with a smirk. "What was that, some sort of capital punishment for accidentally pouring a bottle of Engorging Potion on an adult Venomous Tentacula?"

Remus held up three fingers. "Three, in fact." He lifted his head slightly. "And they actually had the sympathy to assign me with two hundred books instead of four hundred," he said sarcastically. "They're probably still arguing about the pros and cons until now."

"Consider yourself lucky, then," Sirius said.

"You call being punished after almost getting eaten alive by a flesh-eating plant _lucky_?" Remus shot back, groaning again.

"Look on the bright side. At least you didn't have to lift four hundred," Sirius remarked. 

"Don't you get it? The reason I had to carry them back was because I had the wrong copies. I was supposed to move the box containing two hundred copies of _The Complete Guide to the Magical _Herb _Kingdom._" Remus looked cross and buried his face in the pillow again.

"Well, you probably deserved it. After all, you were the one who put the potion in…" Sirius smirked.

"Yeah, yeah. As if you hadn't done it a thousand times before."

"Is this the part where I say, 'I told you so?'" Sirius asked teasingly.

"Thanks for your sympathy," Remus shot back. "Just leave me the hell alone."

Sirius shrugged. "Got your wish." He unloaded his books onto his bed, which was right next to James's. "So, what's your excuse, Jamie boy?" he asked as he flipped through _Hexes and Spells for the Human Anatomy. _

James didn't respond. He was still looking out the window.

Sirius snapped his fingers in front of his friend's face. "Hel-lo-o? Earth to James Potter! Are you in there?"

James blinked. "W-what? Huh?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Very articulate. As I was saying, how come you ditched our library session for an hour of letting your mind get lost in the clouds?"

"Oh, that. Sorry," James answered, his voice oddly strained. "Could you just, you know, remind me next time?"

"Whatever," Sirius said. He wasn't really curious about James's lack of cooperation. He was more interested to know what had been on his best friend's mind for the past hour and a half. Raising his eyebrows, he added, "Were you thinking about _something important?_" he dropped slyly.

James had a blank look on his face. "Not really," he said, too quickly. "Just some stuff."

"Uh-huh," Sirius nodded, supporting his chin with his fingers. "Like I'm supposed to believe that."

"Really, there's nothing worth sharing," James responded, annoyed. "Lay off it already."

"Right. I bet you were only daydreaming about Lily," Sirius taunted automatically. He had become so used to it that it was the first thing he always blurted out.

James's eyes flashed. "Will you stop talking about that already?!" he seethed. "This is getting old."

Sirius drew back, surprised at his best friend's sudden show of anger. "Whoa. Take it easy, James, I was just kidding," he said, holding up his hands. "There's no need to get all worked up," he added.

His friend took a deep breath. "Yeah," he muttered. "Sorry." He turned away, absent-mindedly rolling a Gobstone through his fingers.

"Sorry seems like the word of the hour," Remus mumbled through his pillow.

"Too true," James said under his breath. Then his eyes brightened. "You know what? We should talk about something else."

"Like what?" Sirius said warily.

"Like…the winter ball!" James suggested, his voice returning to its usual upbeat tone.

Remus sat up and rubbed his eyes. "That's _two months_ from now, James," he pointed out. 

"Not really," James insisted. "More like a month and two weeks. The ball starts right after the play, twelve midnight."

Sirius lifted a shoulder. "So? I can't see the point of talking about something that's still a month and a half away. Think of something else."

James shook his head. "No," he said slowly. "I mean, aren't you going to think about who you want to ask or something? How you're going to ask her?" He threw the Gobstone into the air and caught it.

Sirius stopped short. "Oh, that!" he exclaimed. "Well, everybody knows I'm going to ask Celes…"

"What makes you so sure that Celeste will like you back?" Remus countered.

Sirius scowled at him. "Thanks for the confidence boost," he shot at him.

"My pleasure." Remus grinned. "Well then, maybe we should just settle with talking about partners first before we start a battle."

Sirius noticed James shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Fine. Then who are _you _planning to ask, wise guy?" Sirius said to Remus.

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll go alone."

Sirius smirked. "You're just chicken." He started flapping his arms like a bird and clucked. "Werewolf Boy's afraid of girls," he mocked, making chicken noises.

"You're acting like a seven-year-old, Sirius," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Grow up and buy a life."

"Where exactly can one buy a decent life?" Sirius asked curiously.

Remus smirked. "Try asking Chase Tarlise where to find one. Only you'd probably have to pay 10,000 Galleons for it," he deadpanned. 

"Only 10,000 Galleons?" Sirius said in mock surprise. "What kind of life does that buy? A beggar's?"

Remus laughed. "Think 10,000 Galleons make a mendicant?" he asked James.

"Well, the only thing I've heard so far is that a human life is worth far more than a million gold coins," James responded. "Does that mean something?"

"Sure does." Remus glanced at Sirius. "It means that somebody in this room is in desperate need of money."

Sirius crossed his arms. "And somebody is in desperate need of a love life."

"Like _you_ have one," Remus shot back.

"Like _you're_ swimming in wizard gold," Sirius retorted.

"You don't even have a normal life, let alone an existing relationship."

"What about you? You're probably just using your 'I'm not interested in girls right now' excuse to avoid the real questions!"

"And those are…?"

"Like, who are you going to ask to the dance?"

"That's not a real question!"

"It is. All real questions inquire about something."

"I meant 'questions that have something to do with life,' not what the definition _states._"

"What am I, a psychic all of a sudden?"

"No, but you _are _profoundly delusional."

"That was a question, not a statement."

"I didn't refer to your being delusional from your question, Sirius."

"Oh yeah? Then why…."

*****

James tuned out as his friends bantered. Maybe if he got really, _really_ lucky, they would eventually forget about the dating-and-partners thing and _not _ask him. 

Only problem was, his luck didn't seem to be going his way at all today. 

"--shut up for a minute," he heard Remus saying. "We haven't even asked _James _yet."

"Oh yeah! Slipped, I guess. So, Jamie boy, who's the lucky girl that you'll sweep off her feet on the winter ball?" Sirius asked, a grin already forming on his face.

"Er--I'm not really sure yet," James said carefully. What a stupid move. Why'd he have to bring up the dance anyway? It just made it easier for them to press him into telling them what he'd been thinking about for the past hour.

Sirius and Remus exchanged amused glances. "Sounds reasonable," Remus said in a pleasant tone.

"Sounds like he's stalling," Sirius added wickedly. 

"Now, now, Sirius," Remus warned, wagging his index finger. "One has to be courteous in these instances--"

"Okay, then I'm saying it with the utmost sincerity and courteousness," Sirius snickered. "Who're you asking to the dance, James?"

"Whom," Remus corrected with a sardonic smile.

"Whatever," Sirius waved his hand. "So, James. What deep, intimate thoughts have you been having about the girl of your dreams? Who, in particular rules over you visionary fantasies--?"

"You're laying it a wee bit too thick on the subject, buddy," Remus chuckled. "Why don't you just say 'I know what you know so don't try pretending that you don't know what I already know that I knew from you."

"There are way too many knows in your sentence," Sirius objected. 

"Then figure it out if you're as smart as you said you were." Remus leaned back on the headboard of his bed.

Sirius cleared his throat. "As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted," he added, throwing a quick glare at Remus. "What did you say again?" he asked him.

"The know thing?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yep."

"I forgot already."

"You're pretty useless when it comes to memory."

"Right, like I was the one who had to get three detentions because he forgot half of his 1387 dwarf strike for proper rights speech," Remus retorted.

Sirius paused. "That was James, not me," he pointed out.

"No it wasn't," James said automatically. "It was you, Sirius."

"Ha! That's just a second reason of a million why you're on your way to getting Alzheimer's disease," Remus said triumphantly.

Sirius looked sheepish. "Oh, hey! Jamie, weren't you going to tell us who had you staring at nothing in particular like a space cadet?" he said hastily, changing the subject.

James shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? It's still a month and a fortnight away," he said in what he hoped was a disinterested tone. Maybe they would leave him alone then.

Remus smirked. "He's probably hiding something," he stage-whispered to Sirius loudly.

Sirius returned the snicker. "C'mon, James. You can trust your best friends, right?" he prodded, obviously enjoying James's discomfort.

"Not when they're named after a star and would probably be given the title 'Class Clown' in the back of the yearbook ," he answered.

Sirius's smile widened. There he went again with his insane grin. The one that told James to shut up about something Sirius still didn't know and _not _spill it.

"Ookay. But you still trust Remus, right? I mean, he trusts you in keeping his lycanthropic nature, so a little reciprocal credence never hurt anybody." Sirius rubbed his hands together.

"Whatever. Why are you making such a big deal out of all this anyway?" James asked irritably.

"Who do you think brought up the subject of the winter ball?" Remus interjected amusedly.

"You guys are totally out of line tonight," James said, throwing up his hands. 

"Thank you. We're known for our services in interdependent irrationality," Sirius snickered with a twisted smile. "We've got a slot open on Thursday. Care to reserve a space in our busy schedule?"

"You two are a pair of pathetic losers," James muttered, heading for the door. As soon as he was about to open it, it opened from the other side.

Mark Conroy's lanky frame towered above him. "You two, it's Quidditch practice in five," he reminded. "You better not be slacking off as usual," he added in a warning voice. "All excuses for chronic lateness are intolerable."

"Awww, you don't have to spoil us _that _much," James said sarcastically. "The next match is ages away, and I still need to finish an essay about the history of cafedomancy for Trelawney."

"I forgot about that!" Sirius exclaimed behind them. "Say, can I just skip this one out too, Captain?"

Mark glared at him, then turned back to James. "How long?" he asked.

"Judging from Trelawney's--er--bad mood when I accidentally broke one of her crystal balls to see what would happen to the fog if it was let out…" James trailed off. "I'd say roughly the length of…two kilometers?"

Mark sighed. "Why did I ever think it was a good idea to recruit troublemakers on the team?" he muttered under his breath. "All right, you're excused. But this is the last time you're going to do so, Potter," he admonished. 

Sirius popped up behind James's shoulder. "Oh yeah, I broke one of her favorite spheres too," he piped up. "I've got fifty inches more than James's, so--"

"You're coming with me, Black," Mark said firmly, jutting his thumb behind him. "You still can't do proper strikes. Most of the time anyway. I'm telling you, there are a lot more potential people for your position. If you don't haul your butt to the field in three minutes and do it right, I'm going to have to replace you with someone else." He turned and walked off, his footsteps echoing down the stairs.

Barely a minute later another set of feet came thundering up it.

Chase's head popped into view. She stopped halfway up the stairs and laid her hand on the banister, a glittering bangle on her wrist and her Silver Arrow clutched on her other hand. "Hey Sirius, Mark told me to come up here and remind you to go to practice in three min-- no, make that two minutes and forty seconds…and counting. Hurry up." She stood waiting there, tapping her foot.

"Sheesh, does he really think I'm _that _forgetful?" James heard him mutter as he fetched his broomstick and club.

"'Course he does. See, you were the one who forgot half of your speech in--"

"Okay, okay, I get it already," Sirius said exasperatedly as he shut his trunk. 

James glanced at Chase, who was leaning on the banister, absentmindedly staring at the common room below. There was no trace of the unusual expression on her face when she talked to him an hour ago.

"I'm here," a voice called behind James, and he stepped out of the way just in time as Sirius skidded out the door and stumbled on the top step. Chase caught his arm before he could tumble all the way down the spiral steps and break his neck or something.

"Thanks," he gasped.

Chase rolled her eyes. "That's graceful. We better go or Mark will skin _me _alive if I don't drag you there on time." 

"Why do people get the impression that I'm as slow as a sea turtle on land?" Sirius grumbled as they descended the staircase.

James heard Chase's laugh fading as they disappeared downstairs. Shrugging, he turned and gathered his reference books for his torture assignment in Divination. Might as well start the inevitable.

"You can copy mine if you like," Remus offered, holding out several thick rolls of parchment at James. "Maybe you'll actually get a small dent in it."

James groaned. "Don't make me feel worse than I already do," he whined, setting his notes down on his desk and starting to write _Cafedomancy__ - the branch of divination that deals with the foretelling of the future through coffee and coffee beans. _Then he began copying the detailed outline of Remus's assignment. He was in for a hell of an evening.

*****

Sirius yawned hugely and in a very conspicuous manner as he stirred his potion. "This is beyond boring," he whispered to Lily, who was his partner. Nearly three-fourths of the period was over and they were just finishing up the various solutions that Ridgewood had prepared for them. (He made sure that Sirius and his crew got the worst, messiest and hardest potions.)

"Tell me about it," Lily whispered back, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, one of Professor Binns's snooze-a-thon lectures would be better than this." Please. Ridgewood didn't know the first thing about their group. He probably never noticed (since he was so busy putting extremely low marks on their excellent work) that the four of them excelled greatly in the art of potion-making. Three straight years of using complicated solutions wasn't lost on them.

Ridgewood had his back turned to them and was complimenting Snape's concoction in a loud voice. Sirius snorted. As if he cared. There was not one iota in his body that would ever cause him to be jealous of Snape. Not in a million years.

Someone punched Sirius--hard--in the back. Avery's bulky frame cast a shadow over them. "Hey, you got any bird intestines left over, Black?" he snarled. 

"Go run to Ridgewood if you ate up all you had, pug face," Sirius retorted, starting to get his wand out of his robes.

Avery cracked his knuckles and Wilkes appeared behind him with a threatening look on his face.

"Oh? Have you come to beg for snake guts too, Wilkes? I didn't know Slytherins had that as appetizers for their pick-your-nose festivities every last Friday of the month," Sirius mocked.

Wilkes roared and lunged at Sirius. Sirius narrowly avoided a collision between his eye and Wilkes's fist. 

"Watch it!" Remus yelled as Sirius knocked over his cauldron of Coughing Concoction. The near-full container toppled off the worktable and splattered everyone within ten feet with thick, yellowish potion. Half the class started coughing violently.

"Halt! What is this nonsense?!" Ridgewood suddenly shouted, careful not to step on a puddle of yellow goo. "Black! Potter! What have you two done now?"

He pushed aside Chase, who was gingerly picking up her wand from a phlegm-colored liquid on the floor in a fit of coughs. The rest of the Gryffindors coughed, whined and demanded for a cure all at the same time. 

"Calm down, you idiots!" Ridgewood barked at them angrily. "Complaints, complaints, that's all you're good for! Hold your tongue if you know what's good for you!!!"

The Gryffindors howled (or tried to, since respiration wasn't on their side) even louder. A flash of light flew over Sylvia's head and hit Nott square in the chest. Another zap, and Snape's full cauldron flew to the ceiling and reverted itself over his oily head, causing a blue mixture to trickle all over his face and hair. Little blue people started to form from the potion and skittered down his face, down his overlarge nose and onto the table. In a few minutes, the whole dungeon was overrun by small blue people who pulled students' hair and pushed glass bottles filled with apothecary ingredients off the tables, causing complete chaos in the once clean dungeon.

"Cease and desist! Stop! CEASE AND DESIST!!!" Ridgewood was yelling at the top of his lungs. But it was no use, the class was still whining and coughing, half the boys in both Gryffindor and Slytherin had joined in the brawl, miniature people pulled at Celeste's long hair and Chase had ridden herself of coughs and had set to diligently making little blue people disappear. Lily was pushed right into a rolling table filled with bottles of beetle eyes and spider venom. Peter was crouched under a table, shielding himself with an impossibly big cauldron from any unnecessary liquids. Ridgewood was still running around like a lunatic, yelling and shouting and cursing as he handed people small green vials that probably held the cure. Somewhere on the upper floors, a bell rang off, signaling the end of the period. The Gryffindors who had been cured cheered loudly and hastily grabbed their dirty cauldrons and Potions ingredients from their respective desks and hurried out of the room, hoping to spare themselves from Ridgewood's wrathful whoever-did-this-is-gonna-have-to-pay condemnation.

Amidst the air thick with small creatures, the marauders slipped out of the room with their equipment and ran all the way to the Gryffindor Tower. They knew that it was pointless running; Ridgewood would just ream them out tomorrow. 

Even so, the three marauders (Lily escaped with Chase) couldn't help laughing and discussing the finer points of the afternoon.

"Did you get splattered with Celeste's Berserk Brew?" Sirius sniggered to Remus as they strolled down the corridor.

Remus shook his head. "Nope. That was James," he confirmed, pointing a hitchhiker thumb at their friend. The effect of the potion had worn off as soon as they stepped foot in the deserted hall.

"Don't blame me," James protested. "Sirius was the one who knocked over your cauldron, which knocked over Nott's cauldron, which knocked over Celeste's" he finished. 

"He probably knocked over our grades in Potions with it too," Remus agreed, glancing at Sirius warily. "That was a graded pre-exam practical quiz, my friend."

Sirius snorted. "Like any of the stuff we make in his class _isn't _graded," he scoffed. "Besides, the exams are aeons away, and _Wilkes _was the one who caused me to jump and ruin yours," he pointed out. "After Avery punched me, though," he added as an afterthought.

"Exactly," James said. "You insulted both him and Wilkes so you obviously caused him to ram you."

"Not before Avery came," Sirius shot back. "Since when were you Slytherins' biggest fan, anyway?" he asked accusingly.

James smirked. "I'm not a fan. Putting you on the spot is one of the biggest highlights of my life," he said sarcastically.

Sirius shook his head. "You've been hanging out with Chase too much," he told him. "Sarcasm doesn't suit you."

"Since when?" Remus jumped in. 

"I'm always sarcastic," James said in a mock solemn voice. "Just as sarcastic as Sirius is psychologically challenged."

"Like you're any saner than Sir Cadogan," Sirius countered. 

"Sir Cadogan's a runaway knight from the _Medieval Institute of the Mentally Impaired,_" James shot back.

"He's a painting, for Pete's sake!" Sirius said exasperatedly. "Paintings don't have mental institutes for the demented. That's why they stay that way."

"Then there must be a _MIMI _for oil-painted works of art," Remus reasoned.

"You call that mad equestrian warrior a work of art?" Sirius scoffed.

"It's a painting, and they painted him with art materials," Remus said defensively. "Isn't that enough reason to call it artwork?"

"Actually, I think you only call something a work of art if it really _does _look good to look at," James volunteered.

"See?" Sirius said triumphantly.

"He's just on your side because he's your best friend," Remus sulked.

"Be grateful with what you already have, Rem. I mean, not many people would want to befriend a werewo--"

"Shhh!" Remus and James shushed loudly, the former slapping his hand over his friend's mouth. Lily and Chase were walking down the opposite hall, Chase getting an earful of Lily's we-hate-Celeste dramatics. She was wearing an I'm-trying-to-pretend-that-I'm-interested-even-though-I'm-sick-of-all-this-crap look on her face. The look broke into one of long-anticipated relief as she saw them.

"-and she had the nerve to say--" Lily was saying.

"Hey," Chase greeted them. "We were just heading to the Great Hall for some chow," she added, gesturing at Lily.

"You've been to the common room _already_?" Sirius asked in disbelief. 

Lily shook her head. "Nah. We just dumped all our stuff at Cyriack Diarmid and a bunch of his friends," she explained. "You know how those suckers worship Chase." Chase smirked.

"Wish I had tons of personal servants to come at my beck and call whenever I wanted," Remus said enviously, admiring the way Chase had power over those who fell for her. 

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Chase answered, brushing the comment aside with a wave of her hand. "They're always wherever I am anyway."

"I think the term for people like that is _stalker._" James spoke up meekly.

Chase laughed. "Nah, more like puppy dogs. They're just second years, after all." They started walking back down the corridor again, the three boys trailing after them. "It isn't really nice to address them that way, though," she added in a low voice.

Lily chuckled. "Yeah. That's why you order them to do whatever you want," she stated sardonically. "They'd probably jump off a cliff if you asked them to," she added with a smirk.

Chase shrugged indifferently. "I guess you're right," she agreed slowly. Suddenly Owen Hector and his two buddies rounded the corner.

Sirius grabbed his arm as he passed. "Could you take these to the dormitory for us?" he asked in his most demanding military-general voice, indicating his and his friends' slime-infested, stinky Potions materials.

"Who're you to order me around?" the third-year blond said indignantly.

"Hey. Who's the older one here?" Sirius shot at him. He used the five-inch gap between his height and Owen's to the fullest advantage.

"You're not the boss of us," Kurt Reuben said in a tone that perfectly resembled a three-year-old's.

"Yeah," Alex Myvan chimed in.

Lily raised an eyebrow at them.

Chase sighed. "You know Sirius, they can report you for extortion," she said.

"Yeah!" the three third years said in unison, gaining confidence now that Chase was at their side.

"That is if these three want the title tattletale stamped to their foreheads for the rest of their soon-to-be miserable school years," Sirius replied, folding his arms as he stared defiantly back at Chase.

"No, I meant you had to do it right," Chase said, rolling her eyes. She swiped Sirius's cauldron from him. "Owen, you carry Sirius's stuff," she deadpanned.

"Y-y-yes, ma'am," Owen stammered, reaching for the cauldron with shaky fingers. "I was going to do it for him at that very second, I swear." To Sirius's delight, he diligently gathered his brewing paraphernalia without complaint.

"Whatever," Chase responded, hiding her amusement at the fact that Owen actually believed her pretend tirade. 

"Uh… I could help you out too, Chase," Alex said timidly, blushing to the roots of his red hair as Chase glanced at him.

Chase exchanged looks with Lily. "If that's what you want," she said with a shrug. "Get James's," she said.

Kurt looked hopefully up at Chase too. "And you can carry Remus's things," she told him. "If it's okay with you," she added.

Kurt straightened suddenly. "Anything you want, Chase!" he gushed, grabbing Remus's alchemy bottles. The three of them ran off, chattering all the way.

"Oh yeah. You don't call _that _bossing people around," Lily derided as she watched the retreating backs of the three third years.

"I wasn't bossing them around. They practically threw themselves at my feet," Chase objected. "You're just jealous of my authoritative flair," she added, pretending to fan herself primly with her hand. 

Lily playfully pushed her, causing her to bump into Sirius. "Yeah, right. You take on 'slave driver' to a whole new art," she teased.

"Ow!" Chase and Sirius exclaimed at the same time. "What the hell did you do that for?" both of them complained together. 

Lily laughed. 

"I guess pushing people for no reason is your best form of entertainment," Sirius and Chase said in unison. Then they looked at each other. "Stop copying what I say!" they both said irritably.

Remus chuckled along with Lily. "You guys can pass as twins," he snickered.

"Uh-huh. If you could call a black-haired, Black-surnamed, slightly insane prankster sneak identical to me," Chase retorted just as Sirius started to say "Right. Just female, three months behind and already _has_ a twin who's more brilliant and beautiful than her."

The five of them stopped outside the Great Hall. "Okay, not twins--I mean, triplets. Maybe just closely related to each other," James commented.

"Yuck. Now I smell like some sort of flower mixed with French perfume," Sirius complained to Lily. "If you had to push someone at me, why couldn't it be Celeste? Are you starting to mix up the twins again, Lil?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "As if I'd ever hang out with you around that ultimate bi--"

Chase shot her a quick she's-still-my-sister-Lil look. Lily discontinued the comment.

"Besides, the flowery scent _is _the perfume, you moron," she said instead. "And where did you even get the idea that Celeste is even slightly as brilliant as Chase?" Lily demanded. "Her IQ is probably thirty points behind this cynic here." 

"Thank you," Chase deadpanned. "It's nice to know that I'm appreciated."

"No, it's not," Sirius fired back at Lily, ignoring Chase. "Celeste's higher about five points, tops."

Remus shook his head. "As far as I know, you _both _are wrong. Chase and Celeste tied first place in the last official Supremely-Mind-Numbing Elementary Magic Intellectual Test for the Above-Average Student," he quipped.

"Was _that _official?" James asked, his eyebrows raised. 

"Of course it was. The one the six of us took has been the three hundred thirty-third IQ and Practical Test sponsored by the _Legerdemain Educational Institution for Student Witches and Wizards Co. International_ and _The Mentoring Alliance for Young Magical Minds, British Division_," Remus said matter-of-factly. 

James let out a low whistle. 

"Why doesn't the SMNEMITAAS sound remotely like a title that brainstorming worldwide wizarding organizations have thoroughly thought over?" Chase asked him.

"You tell me. You're supposed to be the smart one here," Remus answered as they pulled up chairs at the Gryffindor Table.

"Like you didn't take fourth place in that test," Chase shot back, rolling her eyes as she plopped down on her seat.

"Why don't you ask James or Lily? They tied for _second_ place," Remus reminded her.

Lily and Sirius were still arguing. 

"--practically a thousand times. Yeah, I know that you were first runner-up. You don't have to rub in the fact that I was third place," Sirius said irritably.

"I was second too," James piped up. 

"I _know. _And if I knew better than you, which I do, Lily, you're probably just still bitter because Celeste beat you. As for Jamie boy—"

"Me? Jealous of that over-dramatizing brat of an 'actress'?" Lily said incredulously, making quotation marks on the word actress. "Please."

Chase sighed. "If you guys climbed and went down twenty-seven staircases, walked down forty-eight halls, seventeen intersections and three secret passageways just to waste your breath over a forgettable test that happened months ago that nobody still talks about, then I'd have to say you're both either really into power-strolling or just plain stupid," she announced. 

Sirius opened his mouth ready with a suitable retort when they heard the unmistakable melodious voice of Celeste Schoharie calling her twin.

Celeste ran to her sister's chair and held onto her shoulder, breathless. 

"Careful, sis. Wouldn't want you to get a heart attack," Chase said.

Celeste rolled her eyes but couldn't contain the brilliant smile spreading across her face, two dimples appearing on her cheeks. "Guess what? Guess what? You're never going to believe it! Oh, you'll never guess it in a million years!" she said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to guess something unbelievable that I'll never guess in a million years," Chase repeated.

"Exactly!"

Chase shrugged at her and speared a piece of barbecue on her fork. "Then what the hell do you want me to guess it for?" she asked sarcastically.

Celeste pulled up the empty seat next to her. "Do you remember Jessamine Heathcote? She's the one who plays the role of the princess in the play!" she started excitedly.

"Yeah, she was the one you wanted to shoot daggers at when you found out she got the glamorous role you said you would ace through," Chase said with a smirk.

"Uh-huh…but that's not the point! You know the scuffle that broke out two days ago? The one where two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw hurled curses at one another?"

"You sound like a country-club gossip," Lily said loudly.

Celeste ignored her. "Well, it turned out that she got hit in the crossfire! Her face is so deformed that it'll take Madame Pomfrey _ages_ to put it back on right!" 

Chase nodded her head slowly. "Ookay…bad for her. I mean, that's too bad. She did have a lot of potential of playing the role of a beautiful helplessly weak princess. But I still don't get why you're so into telling _me _this."

Celeste paused, as if torturing Chase before revealing the exuberantly wondrous secret that she was going to reveal. "Didn't you guess it already?"

"No," Chase said unenthusiastically, forming a distinct-looking autumn tree out of little square pieces of different-colored-and-flavored Jell-O onto a large, flat plate.

"C'mon, you're not even trying to guess!" 

Sirius passed a bowl of cherry Jell-O to Chase, his eyes sparkling with interest. "Neat! But how will you form the trunk of the tree?"

Chase examined the selection of dessert items in front of her and picked a bar of milk chocolate. "What better art material than something that would stay on your hips forever," she jested in a sardonic tone, breaking the chocolate bar into small pieces.

"You're not listening to me!" Celeste said with a note of impatience. 

"No, I'm not," Chase deadpanned. 

"Chase!"

"Okay, okay," Chase grumbled, putting in the last pieces into her very realistic-looking food creation. She put in the last orange and yellow Jell-O 'leaves' that fell to the chocolate ground for a lasting effect. "She's out, and they're going to hold another audition for the part."

"No! The cast doesn't need another audition. It's too far into the rehearsals."

"Fine. Jessamine's in the hospital wing and you're the understudy."

"That's still not it!"

Chase shrugged. "Then what is?"

Celeste stood up. "Professor Trelawney decided that _you _would play the role of Princess Alzena!!!"

*****


	11. No Reason Not To

****

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters, places, things, spells, etc. belong to JK Rowling. I've run out of comments.

Chapter 11: No Reason Not To

Sirius spilled an entire bowl of green Jell-O over James's apple pie, but both boys couldn't have noticed. Lily had her two hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. Remus had the same kind of look on his face. Chase, for the first time in basically her entire life, couldn't think of a sarcastic comeback.

Celeste put her hands on her hips. "Aren't _any _of you going to say _anything_?" she demanded.

"Er…Rewind?" Sirius asked.

Celeste glanced at him. "I said, Chase got the part of the princess in the play," she said, articulating each syllable. Then she turned to Chase. "Isn't that great? Don't you _think_ it's great?" 

Chase shook her head slowly. Sirius started to laugh. Moments after, Remus, James and Lily joined him. 

Chase rolled her eyes. "To be totally honest," she spoke, "no."

Celeste blinked. "No? Why n--"

"Just think," Sirius interrupted her, a cheery tone in his voice. "Our Chase is starting to look like a real lady."

"And _what_ does _that_ imply?" Chase returned, narrowing her eyes. "You think puberty and adolescence will magically turn me into a self-contained bimbo who only thinks about what trendy clothes she would wear for the next few days and whose only excuse of going to the bathroom is to powder her nose?" she continued indignantly.

"We-ell…sort of," Sirius admitted. Then his face brightened. "At least you're going to be a lot cooler, and your way of speaking will change. Like…" He cleared his throat. "Help! I'm trapped in this big, stinky damp tower! Saaaave me, my love, my knight in shining armor!!!" he mimicked in a high-pitched voice. All of them, including Chase, laughed out loud. Celeste was the only one frowning displeasingly.

"Then it turns out that your knight in shining armor turns out to be Sir Cadogan!" Remus cried, tears of mirth in his eyes. 

"Cometh, fair lady, and I shall restore your exquisite royal personage back to your imperial abode! Have no fear, my noble steed and I have trained far and wide for this moment! On, my prancing charger! On to the distressed princess!" James said in a tone that reminded everyone present of the mad knight.

"Noble steed?" Lily choked out. 

"That fat excuse for a horse?" Remus asked.

Sirius cleared his throat again. "O, for the tower so lofty and reaches the skies so blue, I will still risk limb for protection of you! Alzena, Alzena, my elegant princess so fair! Let down your--"

"Vandyke brown hair?" James guessed.

"My hair's not _that _long," Chase said.

"I was going to say 'Let down your tresses and I shall save you from that horrendous lair,'" Sirius corrected. "Originality is important and most essential."

"But Rapunzel had blonde hair," James pointed out. "Chase's a brunette. So I didn't exactly _copy_ the line."

"I hate that story. They make witches look ugly and antagonistic," Lily suddenly said moodily. 

Sirius shrugged. "So what? At least we'll have the pleasure of watching Chase perform the role of the indefensible, naïve royal personage. I wonder who your knight in shining armor will be…"

"How can you be so sure that I'll take the part anyway? As you four have kindly specified in extremely hilarious ways, I don't exactly look the part," Chase said matter-of-factly. "Or act it," she added, glancing at her sister.

Celeste's frown deepened as she watched them making a joke out of all this. "Are you going to take the part or not?" she asked in a tone that lacked forbearance and sisterly sincerity in a more subterranean level. 

"I already told you it's a thumbs-down," Chase told her firmly. "Just think of what will happen to the plot. 'The Princess and the Wicked Witch: Separated at Birth? What curse has befallen the kingdom that has caused the other twin to renegade against them? How did she learn the art of witchcraft? What purpose has she of holding her own sister captive in the confines of the Tower of Holocaust?" she narrated. Then she dropped her voice to its normal note. "See? It's impossible to use both of us as the protagonist and the antagonist of the same story. There's gotta be some sort of conflict of character in the plot if I come in."

"But the princess isn't the protagonist," Lily protested. "The detective girl who was caught in the witch's time warp and solved the mystery was."

"You're just saying that because you got that part," Celeste argued.

"And so? All the princess does is stay in her room, ringing the bell to summon servants to beautify her at all times of the day! Then she goes and gets herself kidnapped by a witch and she doesn't even have the guts to stand up to her and run away!" 

"If that's the only things she does in that play, then it's even more reason for me to stay out of it," Chase said.

Celeste's eyes lit up. "I know! Why don't _you _play the part of the evil witch and I'll be the princess? You don't want that part anyw--"

"No way," Lily interrupted. She glared at Celeste. "I think I've figured out your game now. You just want Chase to fill in the vacant role so that if she doesn't like it, you'd be willing to get _her _part while she gets yours."

Celeste stared back at her defiantly. "It's up to Chase. She's the one who's getting the role anyway." The five of them looked at Chase expectantly. 

"Well?" Sirius asked. "I'm dying with suspense."

Chase looked from her sister to her best friend. _They must think I'm torn with indecision, _she thought with a smirk. "Does the witch have to wear a fake wart on her nose or something like that?"

"No!" Celeste answered, shaking her head emphatically. 

Chase looked at warily. "What costumes does the princess wear?"

Lily shrugged. "I dunno. Long silken gowns, I suppose--"

"With a tall, pointy cone-shaped hat on her head and a long piece of cloth going from the tip down," Sirius added with a snigger.

"Silk evening dresses in various colors and collar cuts, five in all, and a gold crown with an amethyst in the middle. Do you want the role of the witch or not?" Celeste asked impatiently. 

Chase shrugged. "I'll take it."

*****

"You took it?!!!" Lily asked in disbelief an hour later in the girls' dormitory. "Professor Trelawney allowed you? But why? You didn't even audition for it in the first place!"

"I know. Professor Trelawney said something about acting potential or some other. Why are you so upset anyway?"

"It's not that. You know that Celeste will be dancing the halls tomorrow, telling everyone she knew about how she got the part of the princess in exchange for the evil witch. And have her say that her sister fell for it."

Chase laughed lightly. "Celeste can be as much a spoiled brat as she is, but she's nothing to worry about if I were you. Besides, I'd rather have that part than sitting around in a stuffy old tower, bawling my eyes out because no one will save me from the clutches of a baneful monstrosity."

"I guess you're right," Lily said reluctantly, "but I'm not going to take any more crap accompanied with triumphant little 'I-told-you-I'd-get-it' looks from your sister."

"No biggie," Chase replied, drawing back the hangings of her bed to signal that she was going to sleep. "I wouldn't see that as a threat." 

Lily followed suit a few moments later. "What about Quidditch?" 

"I can manage it. The next match's on the week before the play. I'll be a little late for practice, though, but I'm sure Mark and the others will understand."

"And school?"

"So I'll have a little less study time, so what? We don't have to take Potions anymore, and that's the worst subject. A big load'll be off our hands then, and we'll be exempted."

"Okay then, I just hope you don't turn into another Celeste Schoharie to make my life hell."

Chase smiled sadly, though Lily couldn't see it. "You know I won't." _You don't even know half the story, _she added silently. She hoped Celeste could come clean with it soon… She missed the days when the three of them were still together. She knew Celeste would do it already, but she was tired of waiting for her sister to say it. This was the first time Celeste had ever pulled a procrastinator act.

She could still hear her twin in the shower, long after Lily had fallen asleep. Celeste could really run a thirty-minute-shower in. Wasn't she aware that her skin would wrinkle up if she stayed in the water too long?

Chase rolled her eyes at her thoughts, knowing it was typical of her twin. She listened to the even sound of breathing of the three other girls and finally heard Celeste turning off the shower. Chase rolled off her bed and sat on the edge, waiting for her twin.

At long last the creaky bathroom door opened and Celeste stepped out in her silk nightgown. She looked at her sister in surprise. "I thought you had fallen asleep already."

"When are you going to tell her?"

"Don't worry, I've got it all set. I'll tell her tomorrow night."

"We can't wait any longer than that."

Celeste let out a sigh. "I know. I'm sorry if I delayed it any further."

"You should be."

"Yes, yes. Just hold it off a little longer. Minor slip-ups could be dangerous."

Chase smirked. "I can take care of myself. I just hope _you_ can. Your mouth's capacity is greater than mine." 

Celeste rolled her eyes as she walked past her to her bed. "Tomorrow morning. If I still don't do it then, I give you my permission to hex me with the Slovenly Curse of the Gully Dwarves and that's all there is to it."

"In that case, I hope you forget to tell her," Chase responded amusedly. 

"Very funny. Good night, Chase."

"Sweet dreams, sis. I just hope he's not in your dreams or I'll be puking 'til December when we get together with our little sisterly telepathy ritual."

"Don't hold your breath. I'm not _that _hooked."

"Whatever you say."

"I say so," Celeste confirmed. "Good night, and that's the last time I'll say it."

"Good night."

*****

"I still can't believe she went for it," Remus said with a yawn the next day.

"You're not alone there," James added. "If she could pull that off, still be perfect at Quidditch and get good grades, then that's the time I'll be astounded."

"She's already perfect at Quidditch beyond existence," Sirius pointed out wearily.

"And she's been on the honor roll since our first year," Remus supplied.

"Of course she has. She's one of those mutants who never studies but aces everything anyway," Sirius said gloomily.

"I'm sure that's not all behind it, Sirius," Remus assured as they dressed up for classes.

"It's still not fair, though," Sirius ranted as they shuffled out of the dormitory. "How come she gets A's without so much as an effort while we work too hard to obtain what she can?"

"Well, I guess it's true what they say about geniuses having ninety-nine percent skill and one percent effort," Remus laughed.

"That was on one of our banners, wasn't it?" James reminded Sirius. "When we trashed Slytherin."

"Oh, yeah. No effort there," he snickered. They climbed out of the portrait hole and stepped into the hall. 

"When's the next match again?" Remus asked them.

"Third Saturday of December, against the Hufflepuffs," James answered. 

"Ravenclaw beat them on the first match, didn't they?" 

"Yep, but it's typical. Hufflepuff loses all the matches ever since Quidditch was considered an extracurricular in Hogwarts, about half a thousand years ago," Sirius informed him.

"Wow," Remus said with a whistle. "Talk about losing spectacularly."

"Way past it," James agreed. "But I wish they could still fight back a little. 'Least they deserve it, not the stinking Slytherins."

His two friends nodded as they entered the Great Hall. They were actually quite early, since only a few people peppered the long House tables. Only the Gryffindor Quidditch team was present at theirs.

"What's up?" James asked in way of morning greeting, pulling up a chair, flipping it over and straddling it. He rested his folded arms on the backrest.

There was a chorus of hello's before the team focused their eyes back on the miniature playing field that Mark had assembled on the table.

Remus, feeling strangely out of place, edged away from the team a few chairs and ate his porridge in peace. 

"S'that the new top-secret tactics that you said you were going to explain to us?" Sirius said in a loud voice. A few heads turned their way. Remus snorted into his porridge.

"Shhhh!" Erin shushed. Mark scowled at Sirius.

"Sorry," Sirius stage-whispered with a grin. As he glanced around at his annoyed teammates, he noticed that Chase wasn't among them.

"Where's Chase?" he asked.

Mark sighed. "I was going to ask you the same thing. Haven't you seen her around the common room somewhere?"

Sirius and James shook their heads.

"I came to their dormitory a bit before seven, but she wasn't there. Nor were Lily and Celeste," Erin offered. "The other two were fast asleep. I figured they already went down here because their beds were made, but I guess not."

Dione looked up from the mini-field. "I remember! I came there at quarter to seven and there was a note on her bed. This one," she said happily, thrusting a neat, folded piece of paper with cursive lavender ink at them.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Mark said sternly, frowning as he unfolded the note.

Dione went pink. "I forgot," she said meekly.

Mark read it quickly and handed it to Sirius.

__

Went walking out on the grounds with Lily. We'll be having breakfast there. Sorry I can't come to the meeting.

Later,

Chase 

"That's that, then," Mark said in an officious tone. "I'm surprised she even signed up for that school play--"

"She didn't 'sign up' for it," Erin explained. "Trelawney wanted her to play Jessamine's part, but her twin and her switched places. It isn't her fault that she got dragged into it. "

"I guess so," Mark said resignedly, "I just don't like the way it interferes with our Quidditch schedule. Are any of you in the production too?"

The team members looked at one another and shrugged. 

Mark breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. We wouldn't want any more problems--"

Just as he was saying those words, Professor McGonagall, accompanied by a very sinister Ridgewood, stalked into the Hall.

"Black, Potter and Lupin," she said tersely, her voice echoing across the chamber. All eyes looked warily at the marauders. 

"Uh-oh…" Sirius whispered to them. "I think I know what this is about…."

Professor McGonagall's nostrils flared as she and Ridgewood approached. Ridgewood looked like he was on the verge of shouting his lungs out, and his long, bony fingers were stroking the wand in his pocket, as if he was restraining himself from using the _Avada Kedavra _Curse on the three of them.

Ridgewood towered over them where they sat. His eyes glinted with loathing, and he alternately clenched and unclenched his free fist. 

"Er--It's a nice day to be out, isn't it, Professor?" Remus began when Sirius nudged him.

"Absolutely," James prompted. "We were just thinking of taking a stroll out on the grounds."

Mark gave them a baleful, I-told-you-not-to-cause-any-trouble-right-before-a-match look. The look was right.

The marauders started to stand up. 

"Stay where you are," Ridgewood barked. As much as he enjoyed giving harsh reprimands and punishments to them, more so in public, he looked particularly ominous today and no traces of sardonic triumph were on his lips.

"Please, Professor Ridgewood, do calm down," Professor McGonagall said sharply. "You three. In my office. Now."

*****

Lily and Chase walked down the wide expanse of lawn and trees, a light wind playing at their hair. They had been talking earnestly about the play for the past few minutes, but after that, a silence befell them. It was a peaceful sort of silence, one that wasn't awkward. The two friends were lost in their own thoughts.

"C'mon, let's sit over there," Chase told her, pointing to a large tingelid tree, a magical species whose leaves changed colors when the temperatures changed and replaced them only once every three years. 

They sat underneath the now light blue leaves, making them hard to distinguish against the sky. They ate their buttered bagels, starting to talk again about the play and moving on to the winter ball. 

"Who are you planning to go with, Chase?" Lily asked her as she sipped her apple juice.

Chase shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I'll just find somebody when we actually get to the Great Hall," she answered dryly.

Lily looked anxious. "Are you sure that'll work? Professor Trelawney said something about the participants in the play having a dance number…"

"Professor Trelawney's always saying stuff like that in class," Chase replied wearily. "And it rarely ever comes to be. Loosen up. You're going to get a partner."

"Ya think?" Lily looked up at the sky--no, the leaves of the tingelid. It was queer to look up and not be blinded by the sunlight. It was even more strange to find a large shadow surrounding them, whereas from afar any passerby would think they were just sitting under a dead tree with no leaves at all. 

"I'm sure," Chase assured her. "And I've got a hunch who you've had in mind," she added in an offhand tone, though there was something behind it.

Lily suddenly felt a strange sense of déjà vu, remembering a flashback of their conversation weeks ago. "What do you mean by that?" she asked suspiciously.

Chase let out a hearty laugh, much to Lily's surprise. "You're saying what you said weeks ago all over again," she said.

"Hey, don't blame me, you were the one who got all serious that day."

"Yeah, but it was hard not to laugh, you were like a deer caught in headlights or something then," Chase chuckled. "You looked like a little kid caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar." The ever-present smirk of uncanny amusement was shown on her face.

"You just caught me by surprise then, you know," she said defensively. "That had nothing to do with my relationship with J--"

"Yes, yes, I know. 'We're just friends,' 'We'd rather hex each other than do some of the really disgusting things that people in romance novels do,' 'I'd never date him if he was the last man standing on the face of the earth,'" Chase counted, rolling her eyes. "No need to get all mad about it," she added in a more serious voice. Then she broke into a grin again. "You had _guilty_ written all over your face."

Lily felt her face getting hot. "Chase!"

"My lips are sealed," Chase said. "Oh yeah, and you shouldn't be too defensive, it makes you look even more obvious--"

"How can I not be defensive when you're making fun of me about something that never even really--"

"Okay! I'll shut up now. But before you launch in on your diatribe, I have to-- Oh, hi, sis."

Lily turned around. She was so busy arguing with Chase that she didn't hear Celeste walking toward them. 

Celeste nodded in greeting. There was a solemn look on her face, a change in her usual cocky, confident attitude. Something about it was somewhat eerie, like she was going to drop a big bombshell any second.

"What did you come running here for?" Lily said irately, turning away from her 'ex' friend. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Chase and Celeste exchanging a look. Celeste sighed, Chase shrugged.

Chase sighed and cleared her throat. "Lily, Celeste has something to say," she stated. 

An awkward silence followed. "You know, all you have to do is listen for a few minutes," Celeste said in a nervous voice. It surprised Lily. She had never heard Celeste talking in that tone before. She reluctantly turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. "What? Let's get this over with," she said flatly. No way she was going to let Celeste take the easy way out.

Chase leaned against the trunk of the tree, and Celeste opened her mouth to speak. She closed it again, exhaling sharply before plunging in.

"I don't know when to start…" she began apprehensively. "Chase and I were waiting for you in the dormitory sometime on the first week, remember?" Lily nodded tightly. "Anyway, Chase was telling me of--of how much you liked James and everything." Celeste avoided her eyes for just a moment. "She said that you liked him but you didn't want it to admit it to anybody, not even us. Chase suspected it all along. So she explained her plan to me…."

Lily was silent.

"When Chase told me what I had to do, I didn't want to do it at first. See, I knew that if we continued with it--" Celeste took a deep breath. "I knew you wouldn't think of me as your friend anymore."

Chase looked slightly detached but snapped to once she heard the end of Celeste's sentence. She looked Lily straight in the eye. "What Celeste is trying to say is, the whole fight was a setup. She did it on purpose. And… She never really liked James in the first place. We just wanted to push you in the right direction and confirm that you really liked him."

Lily's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Celeste blinked rapidly, as if she was trying hard not to let any tears fall. "I'm sorry, Lil. All I wanted was to help. Chase and I knew the consequences for it, but you really are important to us. More than any boy will ever be."

Looking from Chase's earnest expression to Celeste's barely audible sobs, Lily felt a lump in her throat…and the familiar feeling of wanting to cry.

Chase smiled. "I guess I ought to feel guilty," she admitted. "It was obviously hard for Celes… For the first few nights we always talked and wished that the three of us could be together without the 'fight' in between us…"

"It took all the acting skills I could muster," Celeste said, a small smile on her face despite her watery eyes. "It was hard pretending to like James, and I had to give up a lot, like my image--"

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" Lily whispered, a tear snaking down her cheek. The cold air stung her eyes. "You sacrificed all that, just to help me?" Her voice cracked, and she saw no point in holding the tears back.

Celeste took a few steps forward, hesitated, and hugged Lily. "I'm sorry," she said softly, starting to cry herself. 

"Don't be," Lily answered. "It's all my fault. If only I wasn't so petty…"

Celeste wiped her tears on her robes' sleeve. "It's Chase's fault," she finally said with a full-fledged smile. "She never should have persuaded me to go through with the stupid plan--"

"Right. Lily would just be even madder if both of us told her straight out that she liked James. She'd just deny it and everything," Chase scoffed.

"I guess so. She never really was the open type," Celeste replied.

"Yeah. Or the straightforward one," Chase added with a smirk.

"Will you guys stop talking like I'm not here?" Lily demanded, blushing. "Not to mention the fact that it's rude…"

Celeste and Lily smiled at each other and hugged again. "Does this mean that we're friends again?" Celeste asked in a soft voice.

"Absolutely," Lily responded firmly, and she felt a new wave of tears spilling from her eyes.

Chase rolled her eyes as she leaned against the tree. "You two look like characters from a soap opera," she remarked in her usual sarcastic tone. 

Lily glanced at her. "I still don't hear _you _saying that you're sorry," she teased.

Chase smirked. "Sorry, then," she said. Celeste pulled away from Lily so that Lily could hug Chase. 

"You guys are the best," Lily told them both.

"Can you say _'melodrama_?_'_" Chase asked.

Lily and Celeste clapped lifted their hands to slap her on the shoulder, but being a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team had its advantages. Chase dodged them both in a quick movement.

The three of them laughed. Chase looked at her watch. "I'd hate to break this teary reunion, but we have a class to go to," she informed dryly. 

Lily could still feel tears at the back of her eyes. She never realized how much it hurt to lose her sweet, sensitive friend, and she was glad that Celeste was back. She felt like a large weight was lifted from her shoulders. As the tears--of relief, happiness, or mirth, she didn't know which--slipped freely down her face, she knew she was back where she belonged. She wasn't afraid anymore to open up to her friends.

She definitely had no reason not to.

*****

The three culprits trudged after their furious teachers. They fell back about twenty steps behind, muttering to each other. "I told you not to drop your big stinking finale in the Slytherin Tower until after the game," Remus whispered to Sirius.

"Is it my fault? I told you guys to do it sooner, most effectively after the game against those Slytherin losers. That'd be really cool. But 'nooo, it isn't potent enough yet. We have to wait a month later before we can use it. The dye for Snape's hair still isn't permanent. We still haven't found out the Slytherin password.' Now that it's too late, you blow up at me!"

"I'd like to see the look on Snape's face when he finds out he has pastel-colored hair," James said wistfully.

"If we could still live to see that then," Sirius replied. "Ridgewood would probably attempt to persuade Dumbledore to use Avada Kedavra on us. Or at least the Cruciatus Curse," he added with a grimace.

"Come on, Dumbledore would never let him. Those are two of the Unforgivable Curses. He can't just barge into Dumbledore's office and demand that he has the right to use it on us." James glared at Ridgewood's back.

"If he did, though, that'll put him behind bars for sure. I hope he'll rot forever in Azkaban," Sirius said plaintively.

"You guys, we don't even know what our punishment is yet," Remus reminded them. They reached Professor McGonagall's office where the two teachers had already entered. 

A feeling of foreboding overcame the three troublemakers as they stepped into the room.

Professor McGonagall was seated in her overstuffed armchair, cross-legged and arms folded. Ridgewood's mouth was a thin, grim line, and as usual, he glowered at them with such intensity of abhorrence and loathing that Sirius wondered for a moment if he had a strange evil power to melt them on the spot with just one hard glare. 

"As you are well aware of, and it would be better if you do not deny it," Professor McGonagall began sternly, "I have heard from Professor Ridgewood about your latest prank. It seems…" She paced around the room, never taking her eyes off them. "That what you did was quite serious, if not major. Snape still hasn't managed to find a spell to undo the hair dye that you put in his shampoo--"

"Oh, so he _does _wash his hair," Sirius interrupted loudly. Ridgewood gave him the look of death, and he closed his mouth. 

"Even Professor Flitwick has not found an appropriate spell to remove it," Professor McGonagall went on, her voice rising. "He is working on the other Slytherins now, but it would take quite a lot of time if you three don't tell us what exactly you put into that Reeking Repellant to make it so…potent." Her nostrils went white again. 

"What happened to them?" Remus and James asked simultaneously. 

"A number of Snape's friends have been affected by the repellant. Clearly you used an Undetectable Spell on their toiletries to trick them--"

"So it's confirmed that they occasionally submerge in clean water, then," James told his two friends. Sirius smirked.

"Nah, they probably just--" This time it was Professor McGonagall who stared at him disapprovingly. The room fell silent. 

"We have taken all this into consideration," Professor McGonagall said finally. "And we have decided to bring you to the Headmaster and talk to him. You have lost all due respect for your teachers, and I must say the same to you. Unless your behaviour changes, for real, I will have to punish you severely."

"You mean, this is only a warning or something?" Remus asked. 

"No, but you are scheduled to go to Professor Dumbledore's office this afternoon at precisely two o'clock. The Headmaster has been tolerant of every single major 'prank' you have made in the past--but I warn you, all tolerance comes to an end. I suggest you be prompt and mature about all this. I see that he has become quite fond of you three…too fond, I presume. He has given you more chances than I advised…" Professor McGonagall muttered something vague, probably a comment about Dumbledore's strange ways of running the school and his students that she kept to herself.

She cleared her throat. "Very well then, you are dismissed. Professor Ridgewood only wishes you to each write detailed essays about the different potions containing dragon blood which can be found in our library. Each potion accounts for one essay, and there are twenty-three in all--"

"Twenty-three essays _each?_" Sirius exclaimed. 

Professor McGonagall looked startled for a split second before her expression turned to mild ire. "He deems it a small price to pay for your rule violations. However, unless you want more…"

"It's okay, we can take twenty-three," James said quickly. "Er--when is it due then, Professor?"

"I want it next week," Ridgewood finally spoke up in a menacing tone. "Complete with summarized outlines and footnotes."

Sirius's mouth dropped open, and he was poised to rant about the injustice of it all. Remus cut him off before he could make their load more severe than it already was.

"We can do that. Um…we'd better get to class then, Professor," Remus said quickly, pulling his friends out of the room. Once they were out of earshot, Sirius burst into complaints of McGonagall's and Ridgewood's tirade.

"_Twenty-three _detailed essays!_ Twenty-three_. Who does he think he is? This is injustice, this is! Unjustness! Inequity in favor of his dumb, tattletale, whipped, papa's boy students! They're probably crying their eyes out, bawling at the other professors to put them right! They can't even do it _themselves. _Stupid, stinking Slytherin!!!" Sirius yelled, kicking a nearby wall and causing a painting of foxes on the forest floor to scurry out of sight behind the trees. 

"Let it go before you become berserk," James said crossly at him. "I'm not happy about any of this either, but sooner or later Ridgewood's gonna pop up again somewhere and blame us for disrupting peace and destroying castle property."

"I'm not even destroying it, James, it's called _venting your frustration_."

"Yeah, but leave it to Ridgewood to make anything worse than it already is," Remus piped up gloomily. The three of them entered their DADA classroom, where the whole class was already assembled and chatting energetically.

"Where's the Prof.?" Sirius asked Chase irascibly.

"You sure are a ray of sunshine today," Chase non-answered sardonically. Sirius sighed. He could do without the sarcasm. 

"C'mon, Chase-er, all that you have to do is say the reason without inserting a side comment. Can't you cut a guy a break?"

Chase was apparently thinking for a moment. "No," she said finally, smirking as Sirius sighed exasperatedly. "But since you look so pathetic, I can make an exception." She looked at the door. "The Prof.'s late," she announced in a mock-solemn tone.

"Gee, thanks," Sirius muttered cynically. Jeez, her sarcasm was contagious. Chase chuckled, and he found himself laughing along with her.

"So, what exactly had you looking like your dog just died?" she asked.

Sirius drew a long breath. "It's Ridgewood. James, Rem and I kind of trespassed into the Slytherin Tower and--"

"Okay, I think I know where this is going," Chase said with a smirk, holding up a hand. "What punishment did he give you?" she inquired in an amused tone.

"I'm so grateful for your sympathy," Sirius shot at her, rolling his eyes.

Chase laughed again.

"What?" he asked, annoyed.

"You're starting to sound like a cynic," she said innocently.

"Well, at least I know where _that_ came from," he mumbled. But he couldn't help but feel a little less down now that he had something to vent.

Chase raised her eyebrows. "You do realize that you have to pay for everything you did in the past, either good or bad."

"Oh? So now you're a theologian?" said Sirius, remembering that he hadn't done his homework yet. He flipped through his DADA book, looking for the page.

"Nah, I just preach quotable quotes to help lost causes," Chase replied. "It's on page 153," she added.

"So now I'm a lost cause?" Sirius answered, setting his book on the right page and reading the first question. _Which Dark creature has been known to rule the fathomless seas of Middle Earth? _He frowned. He never really was that good in identifying monsters in that period. 

He looked to the left to ask Remus the answer, but something else made him freeze. There were Lily and _Celeste, _and they were talking to each other! They sure didn't look like they were clawing the other's eyes out…

"What're Lil and Celes doing?" he asked Chase, who knew them both best. 

Chase looked up from her sketch of a weird-looking Dark creature. She glanced at her best friend and her sister casually, as if she didn't notice something very wrong about them. "Conversing, what else d'you think they're doing?" she answered, shaking her head as she went back to drawing.

"But they're supposed to be fighting, right?" he pressed.

Chase sighed. "Do you live to observe best friends fighting everyday? Because if so, then you really are a lost cause," was her response before putting the finishing touches on her troglodyte, which Sirius had identified already.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Is it this hard to get a straight answer out of you?"

Chase put down her art materials. "Fine then. As you are so annoyingly inquisitorial, then I'll have you know that they are friends again," she explained, putting her things back into her bag.

"Friends again? When?" Sirius asked curiously.

Chase sighed again. "Why don't you ask them?" she suggested, gesturing at her friends. "I mean, don't you have anybody else to talk to?"

"What, you want me to walk all the way over there and demand the answer from them?" Sirius countered.

"Precisely," Chase smirked.

Sirius shook his head. "Has anybody told you lately that you're insane?"

"No, I believe that's the right term to fit with you. And forgive me if I have to cut this friendly chat short, but I'd like to point out that you still have two pages of homework to answer."

Sirius had forgotten all about his assignment. "Damn," he muttered. Maybe he really should copy Rem's answers.

"It's the Eye of the Deep," Chase supplied.

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "Thanks," he said, scribbling the answer. Being a helping hand with assignments was not a usual Chase thing to do.

He answered the rest of the questions easily, and by the time he had finished, Professor Lyndell still hadn't come in.

The class, having nothing to do, grew increasingly noisy, talking about the upcoming dance, who to ask, what to where, etc. Sirius had no time for small talk. He still had to do those stupid essays for Ridgewood…

"--still don't know, okay?" Chase was saying impatiently to Celeste, who had occupied the empty seat on Chase's left. Sirius was on Chase's other side.

Celeste smirked then glanced around the room. "Looks like you don't have a lot of options here," she said dryly.

"Tell me about it," Chase answered. "And speaking of plays and dances, I still blame you for dragging me into that stage act. You know that three classes more than last year's and Quidditch is more than enough, but nooo, you want me to be overloaded with things I don't care about, like rehearsals and makeup and rehearsals and costume adjustments--"

"You're whining," Celeste pointed out.

"Because I have the right to," Chase shot back. "It's a good thing that we patched things up with the plan, because if you piled any more stress on my back then I'd have to disown you as my sister."

"You and stress? It doesn't show," Celeste said nonchalantly.

"Well, thank God for that," Chase said. "You know, dad and mom are still considering which surname we're supposed to use."

"Obviously it's going to be Schoharie," Celeste remarked, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"No way. We're supposed to use our biological dad's surname, and that's Tarlise."

"Schoharie."

"Tarlise."

"_Schoharie_."

"_Tarlise._"

"Schoharie!"

"It's stated in Wizard Law. Unless you don't have the proper papers then you can't use our stepdad's name--"

"Mom _does_ have the proper papers."

"No she doesn't, she told me when I stayed over at your house last summer."

"She told me there were!"

"Oh, will you two shut up?" Lily's voice said loudly.

The twins turned around. Lily sat down in the desk behind Chase's.

"So, what exactly do the souls sisters have a fight about?" Lily asked, her eyes sparkling with interest. 

Chase looked bored. "Same old, same old. We're still deciding which surname is official. Why don't you tell us your honest opinion?" she asked sarcastically.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I think you should use Mr. Tarlise's name," Lily answered.

Chase gave Celeste an I-told-you-so smirk.

"No fair! Just because we haven't been friends for half the school year because of Chase's stupid plan--" Celeste started to protest.

Sirius yawned and tuned out. He still didn't know what that 'plan' was all about, but right now he was too worried about other stuff to care. He had a lot of things to do. Like planning how to concoct the most venomous poison to put in Ridgewood's tea…

*****


	12. Day of the Play

****

Disclaimer: I disclaim…wait a minute. Why am I bothering with this? You've already read it in the previous chapters! (If you could call the disclaimers there _disclaimers. _lol)

Chapter 12: Day of the Play

The day passed by in a blur. Before Remus knew it, it was after dinner, and he, James and Sirius were in the library, looking up books upon books about potions with dragon blood in them.

James came back from the shelves with a mountainous pile of thick, dusty volumes. He dumped them all on their table. "What've you copied so far?" he asked Sirius, who was in charge of jotting down the potions.

Sirius looked at the various rolls of parchment spread around him, each with its own separate quill--moving on its own. He had bewitched them to copy a designated potion to save a lot of time (and energy). "Let me see…we're up to sixteen potions already. Is that the last of it?"

Remus checked the titles and groaned. "We've got to be graduating from Hogwarts before finishing this stuff. Each potion's gotta be ten pages long…"

"No use wallowing in pity now," Sirius said dryly. "Okay, we'll each work on seven potions--"

"But what about the other two?" Remus reminded.

"We'll worry about that later," Sirius said impatiently. "Right now we need more Write-Away Quills. Whose turn is it to sneak into Hogsmeade?" 

"Me," James said. "I'll buy the refreshments too, while I'm at it…" He sauntered out of the library, Madame Pince staring suspiciously after him.

"Looks like we'll have to take all these up to the common room," Remus said, gesturing at the never-ending rolls of parchment. 

"Hang on, the last one's still not finished," Sirius said. They waited a moment. "Okay, all done," Sirius announced, rolling up the last piece. The two of them managed to stuff the lot into their backpacks without magic and left the books on their table as they left, ignoring Madame Pince's death glare.

They went back up to the common room, figuring that James would take his time getting back to them. Sirius unpacked his share of the potions and a fresh batch of parchment rolls, extra long, the pack said. He loaded down the first Write-Away Quill he had left, dictating the importance of extracting dragon blood from a certain kind in order to make antibiotics for another. 

Remus unrolled one of his shares, glancing at the title. "_Rel Gandre Kant Dragonia,_" he read aloud. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It's a Permafrost Potion," Lily said behind him. "Extracted from the blood of an Antarctic Ocean Dragon, three different types of crystallized cryo fluids, a tuft of wooly mammoth's hair, and a chunk of ice from the North Pole," she continued. "It's supposed to be the most powerful Freezing Solution there is."

"What does it do?" Remus asked, looking at the piece of parchment with increased curiosity. 

Lily rolled her eyes. "Obviously, it's supposed to freeze a person. By accurate recount, the most powerful Permafrost ever made has turned one hundred and thirty-five wizards into human popsicles. To this day, they are in the International Magical Museum, and wizarding scientists have long been pondering whether they were just frozen or are dead."

"How'd you know all this stuff?" Remus asked, impressed.

"Reading," Lily answered. "Hey, have you seen Chase anywhere? She wasn't in the dormitory."

Remus and Sirius shook their heads. 

Lily frowned. "That's odd. I knew we left rehearsals early…" She walked off in the direction of the girls' staircase.

Fifteen minutes after she'd gone James came back, his arms overflowing with Honeydukes sweets and a six-pack of butterbeer. 

"Where're the quills?" Sirius asked.

"Right here," James said, turning the bag of sweets upside-down and sending a shower of candies and chocolates cascading over their parchments. A thin, long box tumbled down after them.

Sirius picked up a packet of Every Flavor Beans and opened it, selecting a red-colored one. "This better be cherry," he said as he flicked the bean into the air and caught it in his mouth.

"Last time it was strawberry," Remus told James. "He's allergic to that stuff, remember? It was really funny, little bumps popped up on his skin--"

Sirius gagged.

"Is that a strawberry, Sirius?" James asked with an amused smile.

Sirius tore off a strip of parchment and spit red goo into it. "Yuck," he said, making a face.

"What flavor was it?" said Remus, opening the new box of quills.

"Blood," Sirius replied with a grimace. James and Remus laughed.

"Here, let me have one…" Remus dug into the packet and extracted a blue one. "Do you guys know anything else blue that isn't blueberry flavored?" he asked them. 

"Nope," Sirius shook his head.

"That's enough reason for me," Remus said, and he popped the bean into his mouth and chewed. "It's blueberry, all right."

"Want to try one, James?" Sirius offered, holding the packet out.

"No way," James refused. "Last time I ate one, it tasted like some kind of insect--"

Sirius and Remus snorted. "Okay, let's just get back to work then," Remus said. He handed seven quills to both Sirius and James. "It's gonna be a long night…"

"Hey, you three, what's up?" Chase said behind them. She was accompanied by her sister, whose mouth was a disapproving line. Chase was carrying a paper bag with the Hogwarts crest on it and was holding a half-eaten éclair in her hand. 

"We nearly got caught by Professor Altrow," Celeste told her. "Do you have any idea--"

"Oh, live a little, Celeste," Chase replied. "We got away without being seen, so what's the point ranting on and on about it?"

Celeste was silent. Chase, shrugging, turned back to them. Her eyes twinkled as they fell on Sirius's Every Flavor Beans. "Every Flavor Beans! Can I have one?" she asked him.

Sirius shrugged. "Take as many as you want."

Chase scooped out a handful of it.

"Whoa, you're gonna eat all that?" James asked in amazement.

"Sure, why not?" Chase asked, stopping abruptly as she was about to put a brown-colored one in her mouth.

"Aren't you afraid it'll taste like dung or something?" Sirius said.

"Why would I be?" She popped the bean into her mouth. "Chocolate." She smirked. "You were saying?"

"All right then, eat another one."

Chase ate all of them, announcing that another, more lightly colored brown one was vanilla. A green bean was mint, a sick yellowish-green was curry, creamy white was milk, purple was eggplant, and a golden one, which was toffee. She was down to the last bean, which was a bloody red.

Sirius, who had taken her good fortune in picking edible flavored beans seriously, looked thoroughly put out that they were all okay. "That's got to be blood-flavored for sure," he said gloomily.

Chase ate the bean and smirked. "Cherry, my favorite." Sirius scowled. "You've got to take risks, Sirius. That's the only way you'll get any of the good ones," she advised with a sardonic smile. "Thanks for the beans, Sirius," she singsonged as she and Celeste retreated to their dormitory.

"Could you believe that?" Sirius demanded at them. "It's not fair."

"They're just beans, Sirius," Remus pointed out. 

"Try another red one," James prompted.

"If I ate another one, it would probably taste like hot pepper or something else less desirable to eat--"

"Just take Chase's advice and risk it!" James said impatiently.

Looking disgruntled and grumbling all the while, Sirius ate another red bean.

"Well?" Remus and James said in unison.

Sirius broke out into a smile. "Cherry."

*****

Four weeks, twelve rehearsals, sixty-nine dragon blood essays and one victorious Quidditch match later…..

"Chase, help me fix up this outfit."

"I already helped you with the last one. You fix it yourself."

Lily and Chase were on the grounds, mending costumes that had somehow gotten tattered, unbuttoned, and snagged in the three days that they had been used. The two were waiting for Celeste, and were admiring the soft falling of snow signaling that Christmas was only five days away. 

Lily groaned. "Why did Celeste have to sign us up as costume menders?" she moaned, throwing a frilly-collared mint green dress onto their mat.

"Don't ask me. I would've thought being a makeup artist more fun than this," Chase answered.

"Why don't we just use magic?" Lily suggested.

"That's like the only thing I've been saying for the past five minutes," Chase countered. "Come on, we've still got ten dresses to mend." She waved her wand and bolts of thread streamed past them, shooting through the eyes of needles and plunging into tears and cuts. Round, glittery buttons flew to waiting darners. Pins flew from emery bags to loose lace cuffs.

Within three minutes, all ten gowns were repaired. With another wave of Chase's wand, they folded themselves neatly and one by one slipped into the paper bag that Professor Trelawney had given them.

They saw Celeste approaching, carrying their breakfast. She looked pretty happy.

"You look cheerful," Chase observed wryly.

"I can't wait! The play is in five days," Celeste said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"We're done here," Lily announced, opening one of the paper bags Celeste had carried and pulling out a waffle. She pointed her wand at it and syrup streamed out.

"Oh, good. Professor Trelawney asked us to come for an early practice in the Great Hall. Full dress rehearsal," she added happily. 

"Fine then. I don't have to wear any makeup right?" Chase asked. "Wicked witches aren't supposed to beautify themselves, you know."

Celeste shook her head, looking horrified. "No way you're not going to put on makeup! And I asked Cas Black if I could redesign your costume. All the scenes you're in are a bit dark, so it totally needs a remake."

"What's wrong with it?" Lily asked.

Celeste sighed, as if she was going to prepare a lecture for two preschoolers who didn't know what the sum of two plus two was. "Well, on the account that she has to sit on a really high throne, she needs to emphasize her legs more. I fixed it by adding sequined leggings to her outfit. Then there's the matter of lighting. She needs slightly glittery fabric for her robes to take advantage of the darkness. I thought really dark purple silk bewitched with sparkling effects would do. And her hat needs to have several undetectable beads scattered around its surface. I shopped for jewelry on our last Hogsmeade trip and bought a silver necklace with a crescent moon pendant that would go _perfectly _with the dark purple robes. And her gloves should be ordinary black velvet, to balance the proportion contrasting the sparkly stuff. Her boots should be of black dragonhide. I picked out high-heeled ones to give her the impression of intimidation and female antagonism," Celeste finished matter-of-factly.

Lily laughed inwardly. Leave it to Celes to raise fashion to a high art. "Well, it looks like you've settled everything for her," she said with a chuckle.

"You're going to make me wear that?" Chase asked, raising her eyebrows. "And I suppose you've planned the makeup already too…"

"Of course!" Celeste said energetically. "I kept that burgundy lipstick with glitter that mom gave you ages ago that you never touched. For your foundation, we have to put moisturizing lotion first so that your skin would radiant clean, then I'll put pale beige blush on your cheeks since you need a pallid complexion to play the wicked witch. Oh! And we need to apply pale blue eyes shadow on your lids and about three layers of mascara on the lashes so that you'll really have that villain look. Have you grown out your nails like I told you to?" she asked Chase.

Chase nodded wearily while Celeste inspected her one inch and a half nails. 

"That's not long enough! They need to be at least three inches or so…" Celeste shook her head, tapping Chase's fingers with her wand. Her fingernails grew twice its length.

"Celeste!" Chase exclaimed. "Do you think I can even manage to hold my staff with nails like this?! The play is five days away!"

Lily stifled a giggle. Celeste stared at Chase sternly. "You need to get used to the feel of it! Stop complaining!"

Chase muttered indistinctly under her breath, glowering at her twin.

" As I was saying, your nails need to be painted black--with glitter, of course. Now, all we have to think through is what to do with your hair…You've got it up in a hat half of the time…"

Chase and Lily exchanged looks behind Celeste. Chase had a dark expression on her face, Lily's was the perfect example of mirth mixed with contained laughter. 

"Aren't you supposed to plan what _you're _going to do with your outfits and stuff?" Chase asked, popping a muffin bit into her mouth.

Celeste waved her hand. "I've planned that weeks ago. My outfits are all set. The gowns I have to wear are simply elegant, and the crown…well, I asked Cas if we could change it to sapphire at the last second. It makes my eyes stand out, you know." 

Chase and Lily stifled chortles. "Okay, I see you're already organized, but what are you going to do about Lily?" Chase asked innocently as they cleaned up their picnic place. Lily scowled at her.

Celeste's hand flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry! I totally forgot! I _must _get to work on that one, don't worry about it, Lil. Our makeup artists are a disaster, they probably don't even know eye shadow from mascara. I have to tell Professor Trelawney about that…"

The three of them headed back to the castle, Celeste in the lead. She was scribbling furiously on a clipboard, the name Lily on the very top in bold calligraphy, an outline of makeup colors and applications underneath. Another column on the same page held suggestions for Lily's outfits and the lighting on each scene.

Lily and Chase sighed. Yup, leave it to Celeste Schoharie to take control of trivial technicalities…

*****

After four mind-numbing days, the night of the play had come. An announcement was made at dinner for the students to dress up in their dress robes before coming back to the Great Hall at 11:00. Lily, Chase and Celeste had already gone down to prepare for the production. Meanwhile, in the boys' dormitory…

"What did Dumbledore say we were going to wear again?" Sirius asked as he dug through his trunk of crumpled robes and shirts.

"Dress robes, of course," Remus answered. He extracted neatly folded dress robes from his own trunk, colored cobalt blue. 

"Don't know why they're making such a fuss about it," James added as he put on his own silvery robes. It looked a lot like his dad's Invisibility Cloak, only, of course, it was entirely visible.

Sirius pulled out his slightly wrinkled moss green robes. He smoothened it out with a handy spell and put it on, slipping on the fancy jet-black formal shoes that his mother insisted he use for occasions like this.

"All set?" Remus called from the doorway. 

"Just a sec," James said, trying to comb his unruly hair. After about two minutes without success, he just threw the comb on his bed. "I don't even know why mum bothers to buy me a new comb every year…"

They waited for Sirius, who had gone into the bathroom just seconds before. There was a small explosion in there before Sirius came out, the pockets of his robes bulging with something his friends couldn't identify.

"Sirius, you're not going to bring joke stuff to the ball, are you?" Remus asked. "You know that the teachers will be watching you all night, and I have no doubt that your sister will too."

"Oh, all right," Sirius said, looking disappointed as he put all the unidentifiable stuff into his trunk before locking it up. 

They headed back to the still full common room, where people were waiting for their partners. Not that it was an issue, but none of them had partners. Sirius was asked by a number of girls from all Houses but he point-blank refused, not explaining the fact that there was no one else he wanted to go with but Celeste Schoharie. James didn't bother asking anybody, since he was still intent on figuring out what Chase really meant a few weeks back when she said that Lily liked him or whatever. He didn't know if it was true…

Remus stuck to his old resolve to be an individual for the rest of the night. All in all, they were apparently the only boys who didn't have partners as they made their way to the Great Hall, although several girls who had asked them out earlier in the week were still available. The three marauders all turned them down even before they could say it out loud.

"No, Sylvia, I'm not intending to go with you to the ball, let alone dance one dance," Sirius said for about the thirtieth time to the thirtieth girl who asked him. 

A smallish third year approached Remus, blushing. "Would you--?"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Remus answered wearily. 

The third year's face fell. "Why not?" she asked disappointedly. "You still don't have a partner--"

"He's going solo tonight," James interjected. Remus nodded in thanks to him.

"Oh," the third year said, bounding away in a flounce of brown curls. Probably a last-ditch attempt to convince them that she was actually worth being their partner. Pathetic.

The doors to the Great Hall opened, and the students spilled in like water from a broken dam, chattering and shouting to one another to be heard above the rest. In only a few hours, the Hall was turned into a theater house, with of rows upon rows of red velvet chairs, balcony seats (for the teachers) and an elevated stage complete with curtains, side stairs and left and right wings for easy exits into the backstage. The back was probably bewitched to create larger space for the whole stage scenes, the backstage and the dressing rooms. 

"Well, front and center then," Sirius said in an easy voice, striding down the middle aisle until he reached the front line of seats where several boisterous first year girls occupied the middle seats.

They fell silent as the marauders approached. "Budge over," Sirius said in what he thought was an intimidating tone. Nonetheless, the first years dutifully obeyed, giggling and trying hard to look 'cool'. Maybe they were part of the annual batch of losers who were hopelessly hooked to looking for 'the one' among the sea of faces in their new school. Lame, lame, lame. 

Sirius helped himself to the front and centermost seat, James and Remus on either side of him. Remus checked his watch. Only a few minutes before the show would start…

Moments later, the curtains opened and the stage was revealed. Actually, the whole proscenium was entirely white, down to Dumbledore's long hair and beard. He was standing in the middle of the stage. 

"Welcome, my dear students and teachers!" he started, beaming at them all. "Today--or should I say night--we are all going to witness our first Hogwarts play production. It tells a bit about what the non-magical people, who most of us call Muggles, think about witches and wizards in the medieval ages. Now, I daresay our third to seventh years know all about these, as Professor Binns has taught them in History of Magic. Our younger years, however, are not yet accustomed to those particular parts of history. 

"Before we start, I hope that none of you will find the role of the witch, played by Miss Chase Selene Tarlise--" There was a smattering of applause-- "offensive and insulting to our race today. We are simply reenacting the Muggle point of view of antagonistic witchcraft. To those who attend Muggle Studies… Professor Hullub kindly reminds you that you have to take note of the key parts of the play for your homework. One roll of parchment on the subject, and an interview with one of the cast members, thank you." 

Groans issued randomly from the crowd. "Yes, yes, not quite a fine Christmas present," Dumbledore laughed, his eyes twinkling. "To business," he continued as if uninterrupted, "I would like to address the contribution of Professor Sibyll Trelawney, who supervised the making of this play, Cassiopeia Black, who assisted her and shall play the role of the queen, the crew members and, last but not least, the cast of characters."

A round of applause echoed through the massive Great Hall. Dumbledore smiled. "So, without further ado--"

His words were drowned by another wave of claps from the students (and teachers). Dumbledore exited the stage, the curtains closed again for a few seconds, and opened to reveal the first set. Lily, Celeste and Chase were near a huge beech tree, wearing Muggle clothes. 

Celeste, who was wearing the trendiest outfit, nudged Lily and pointed at Chase, who was sitting under the tree, reading a thick book. 

"Look at Dana," Celeste said loudly. "Is she some kind of preschool reject or something?"

Lily stared at Chase. "What do you mean?"

Celeste rolled her eyes. "It's the book she's reading," she snapped impatiently. 

Chase looked up, her eyes flashing. "And what would you know about what I'm reading?" she shot at her twin with narrowed eyes.

"Why it's all about fairy tales, of course!" Celeste said with a sarcastic smile. "About damsels in distress and wicked witches and knights in shining armor. Puh-leeze. A kindergartner must have better taste than you." She flipped her dark tresses over her shoulder. 

"This isn't about fairy tales, you prat. And if your big head was any thicker than it already is, then I wouldn't bother telling you," Chase retorted, slamming the book shut.

Celeste looked down at the title and sneered. "_Witchcraft in the Medieval Ages_," she mocked. "I always knew you would turn into a wart-nosed cackling shriveled old crone when you grew old. Not that you don't look like that already."

Chase stood up and started to stalk away. Just before she disappeared into the left wing, she said in a flat voice: "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't accept the title you gave me. I know how much it would upset you if somebody stole your rightful appellation." 

Lily shook her head. "She's the _seventh _person today that you've upset, Samantha," she pointed out. "Why don't you just drop your act?" 

"Shut up, Emily," Celeste snapped. "If you don't want to be one of them too." With that, she exited to the left wing. 

Lily stared after her and sighed. "And they lived happily ever after…" she stage-whispered sardonically. She exited through the right wing.

The curtain closed again for a moment and opened with a new set. This time Lily was alone, standing beside an empty road. It appeared to be night. 

She walked down the sidewalk, her head down. Suddenly, a small blue light appeared in front of her. She squinted, trying to identify what it was. 

The blue light shot away, and Lily ran after it. (Magic effects must have altered the set to make it look like she was getting farther.) She ducked into a narrow alley where the light had stopped at a dead end. 

Lily reached out to touch the blue light and the set dissolved into darkness. Seconds later the set reappeared. Lily had 'arrived' at a medieval-styled forest where a castle was seen 'in the distance.'

The crew members in charge of the curtain calls and set changes must have given up and changed the backgrounds without use of the drapes. Lily got up from the grass and surveyed the surroundings.

"I say," a fifth-year Hufflepuff boy spoke up behind her. Lily looked startled (obviously, it's acting startled) and turned around. 

"Where am I?" Lily muttered, surveying the surroundings. The Hufflepuff (looking extremely like the Fat Friar, except he wasn't a silver apparition) answered sincerely, "Why, you're in Treefalls, my dear. Largest ever woodland in Xelarhad, if ever there was one. Are you lost?"

Lily slowly nodded as if in awe of the surroundings. "Er--yes. Could you please show me the way out?" she requested politely.

The Hufflepuff friar laughed heartily. "Certainly, young lady! There's a ball up at the castle tonight, you know. Everyone in all Fasthilian is invited! Except, of course, the Mages of--" 

"Mages?" Lily said curiously. "You mean, magic casting beings?"

The Hufflepuff turned white. "It's--ah--not a very good topic to discuss, if you'll excuse my rudeness. But--" He sighed. "We cannot speak of them," he stage-whispered. Then his face changed, and his smile was back. "Well then, let us not think of such dismal things! We are coming to the biggest ball in all of Fasthilian! Westing and Zendel even! Er--please don't tell King Melleas of the Summoners' Clan that I said that," he added hastily in a low voice.

Lily's eyes twinkled with wonder. "Summoners? As in, real magic-unleashing beings who summon legendary beasts?"

"Indeed," the Hufflepuff said, very taken aback that she was clueless. "Er--are you sure you're alright? You--haven't hit your head on something, have you?"

"Oh, I must have," Lily said quickly, "I'm terribly sorry--um--I may have temporary memory loss, or…something." She paused. "So, what's this ball that you're talking about?"

*****

James turned around in his seat, staring out at the crowd. He almost laughed out loud. They all looked awestruck, gaping at the stage like bloodthirsty animals staring keenly at their prey. He had come to understand the plot at last; the play unraveled itself within thirty minutes. Lily was sucked into the medieval age, where everybody else looked exactly like one person she knew in the present. Even Chase (Dana) and Celeste (Samantha) were there, only she was 'surprised' that Celeste was the princess. She was captured by a band of pixie-like things, only they had greenish skin and evil-looking eyes. Currently they were at Chase's first scene as the witch. James was particularly surprised when a good chunk of the crowd clapped and whistled as Chase entered.

She looked stunning in her costume. She was wearing purple robes so dark that they almost looked black; her nails were three inches long, black with glitter; her boots were high-heeled; and the fact that she was wearing visible makeup wasn't lost on him. It was surprising how much changed in her face. Though her role made her have a pale complexion, it was the first time that her eyes brought out more blue. They were probably her best asset, but Chase never minded things like that. She never cared…because for her, you didn't need enhancers and trendy clothes to become good-looking, In James' opinion, she had more confidence than even he did. 

James leaned toward Sirius. "Chase sure looks different, doesn't she?"

But Sirius wasn't looking at Chase; he was too busy goggling at Celeste. James smirked. Sometimes he wished he could give Sirius a mental whack on the head. He was so stupid sometimes (no matter how intelligent) when it came to girls. He obviously picked girls who are stereotypically beautiful, girlish and trendy. 

"So, this is Princess Alzena," Chase spoke in a villainous voice that she had developed for her character. The crowd clapped and whistled again. Chase smirked for a second before her face returned to acting mode. She got up from her high throne and glided toward her twin, who was chained in manacles at a damp, stone wall. 

Chase cupped her hand on Celeste's chin. Celeste glared as if repulsed. "How pitiful. Thousands of servants to wait on you, ten bodyguards to protect you from harm, and not a single one of them could save you. Your kingdom is truly…what is that word? Pathetic." She laughed a cruel, antagonistic laugh. _Whoa. She's pretty good, _James thought.

Celeste jerked her head out of reach from Chase. "Don't you dare insult my country, you vile, evil, flagitious _witch!!!_" She struggled with her bonds, only squealing in pain when the magical manacles' power hurt her as she moved. 

"My dear _princess, _I must comment on your lack of knowledge. Your money-hungry father must be so obsessed with power and riches that he has forgotten to hire someone to teach you proper history! Not that he had much sense, he is too greedy for his own selfish intentions that he never bothered to care for his daughter. And that is how your cycle will go, having witless and idiotic rulers generation after generation. I do feel sorry for you, stupidity and ignorance must be common among royal blood."

"You do not know anything about my father! He is kind, he is loving! Your heartless being can't distinguish love, and in reality you're just an angry, bitter wreck! You don't have anybody to love you, so you turn your hatred to the world and make other people miserable--"

"Please, spare me your excuses," Chase interrupted, holding up a hand. "I do not need nonsensical babble on supposed morals of compassion and love for the world. You, like the rest of your people, are caught in the illusion of happiness and blissful security within your own little kingdom. You must have believed that everything was sunshine and rainbows in your room, didn't you? You never bothered to explore the rest of your home, you always stayed in the comfort of your bedroom, looking out your window while servants pampered you to death. Falsehood and prevarication! Your hope for a 'better' world is nothing but a whimsical fallacy. Let me tell you, the world is harsh and cruel, as you have never known through the senseless beliefs that your mother and father have drilled into you."

"How would you know that?" Celeste challenged. "Just because you have the power to make the earth quake in fear, to wipe out forests with a snap of your hand, to kill tremendous numbers of innocent people, doesn't mean that you are above them! It is you who are rapacious for power and might! What will you know about the world, except for this depressing dump that you live in? This is your home, these soulless lands and barren plains that surround your fortress! Dare you speak contemptuous words of my family and my fellow people, when you yourself are not respectable and unworthy to live! You deserve to die, for all the people that you have murdered! After that you still wouldn't be able to pay your endless debt of throwing others' lives away! You'll forever be tormented in hell!"

Chase's lips curled into a thin smile. "And you would know the condition I was in?" she shot at Celeste. Celeste remained silent. "You would not! Because of your happy, sickening convictions of the world you live in now, you are not aware of everything else around you. Do you not see? Farther away from Xenir Ultima, the supposed land of peace and tranquil beauty, is pain and suffering! You would not know about it, since your family has so misguidedly protected you from the evils in the world! You were doomed to stay in incognizant oblivion! I pity you. Your family has lied, child, lied to make you believe that there is no suffering! Lied through the skin of their teeth to make you unaware of the fact that other villages are stricken with poverty and vice!"

With this pronouncement, Chase turned on her heel and glided back to her throne, rolling her mage's staff on her fingers. A minion strode over to the bottom of her throne and bowed, his legs shaking slightly. "Your Eminence, we have successfully defeated the kingdom of Xenir Degonrif in the northwest. We have sent all soldiers from the southern troops to hasten there, Your Grace," he said nervously.

Chase poured a glass of wine (at least it looked like wine, thought James) onto a glass and sipped it. The corners of her mouth lifted in a smile. "Perfect."

*****

AN - I wish I could fit the winter ball in here, but obviously I can't. To those who know a lot about fashion and cosmetics, forgive me if I'm a little clueless on the topic. Well, not entirely, but I'm not big on describing it. One more thing…REVIEW! (A girl can hope.)

-Dimantrien


	13. Pairing Off

****

Disclaimer: Soon enough, I'll finish this fic and I wouldn't have to bother with this…

Chapter 13: Pairing Off

An hour passed before the play ended. Sirius got up from his seat, rising with the rest to give the characters a standing ovation as the role-players bowed (and curtsied). The crowd finally trickled out of the Hall again to wait for the dance preparations. The cast was allowed to stay inside; they still had to change into their dress robes. 

"That was brilliant!" James was saying animatedly to Remus. "Wicked ending, I'll say. Who knew that the princess and the witch were actually twin sisters?"

"Everybody knows that Celeste and Chase are twins, James," Remus said sarcastically.

James scowled. "I meant in the play," he countered. "Sarcasm doesn't suit you," he added as an afterthought.

"But they had to do that," Remus reasoned as if he hadn't heard the side comment. "Remember what Chase said a month before? That there would be some kind of character conflict or something?"

"Oh, that. Well, it was still great," James sniffed as they stood in their own corner in the hall to wait for the doors to open. Snape and his partner, Ismelda Bulstrode, strolled over, stopping somewhere near them.

"I do feel sorry for those who haven't found partners," Snape said loudly. "It must be disappointing to come alone to the ball. Loners could look like such idiots when they dance alone." Ismelda cackled.

Sirius stepped forward. "I feel sorry for those who practically beg for a date. I'd rather go alone than grovel at a girl's feet. I'd feel even more sorry for people who are willing to go with somebody extremely ugly just so they could be seen with a girl." James and Remus laughed. Snape and Ismelda, however, stared daggers at Sirius while he smiled innocently back.

Snape stalked menacingly up to Sirius. "What did you say, you big-headed scum?!" he yelled angrily.

"Hello to you too, grease head," Sirius said with a smirk. "Why? Did I say something _offensive_?"

"Shut up!" Snape hissed.

"And that's the best insult he can think of in his pea-sized brain, Sirius," James quipped behind his best friend.

"D'you think anyone will bother to come with you, Potter? Well, here's the proof! You're just a loser who can't find a date or must have been turned down by a dozen girls! And your face is thick enough to say that _I'm_ pathetic?" Snape lashed venomously.

"As a matter of fact, I do think you're pathetic and repulsive," James said. A crowd had already surrounded them; a crowd of girls, in fact. 

"Leave James and Sirius alone, you oil-haired freak!" a Ravenclaw second year screeched at Snape.

"Yeah!" a first year chimed in. "Who do you think you are?"

A bunch of other girls started protesting and shaking their fists at Snape, saying insulting names that suited him perfectly. Sirius doubled over, laughing as Snape turned paler and paler. A scuffle ensued as the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw side argued with the Slytherin girls. Wands were taken out of robes, hexes were hurled at one another, and enormous sparks were getting bigger and bigger in most of their wands when--

"Okay, you noisy bunch, you can come in now!" Chase's voice shouted. She was still wearing her witch's outfit. No one had noticed that she had even opened the door. She stared around at them all. Some wands' sparks had flickered and died. Others separated from the sparks, and went straight for Chase. 

"Hey! Stop that!" Chase exclaimed, hurriedly taking her wand out and creating a magic-deflecting barrier just in time. The sparks rebounded and hit several Slytherins who howled in pain as different curses hit them.

"What's all this racket?" Cas Black tutted behind Chase. Like Chase, she gaped around at them all before reacting. "SIRIUS!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"I'm right _next_ to you, idiot," Sirius grumbled, holding a hand over his left ear. "Are you purposely trying to make me permanently deaf or are you just plain blind?"

Cas folded her arms across her chest. "What have you done now?" she said furiously.

"Me?" Sirius said. "Why are you always like that? It's always Sirius this, Sirius that, even if you don't even entirely know what happened! You can't blame anybody in just a blink of an eye, you know! I have the right to be innocent until proven guilt--"

"He's innocent, Cas," Chase interrupted as she spoke to Sirius's sister. 

"How'd you know that?" Remus asked in disbelief.

Chase smirked. "He hasn't strung that many words together in a complaint when he's the one who did it." She strode back into the Great Hall. 

Cas sighed. "All right then, little brother, I'm letting you off the hook. But only because Chase sided with you, and it's rare that she says anything at all in your defense. You--" she pointed at the disfigured Slytherins-- "go up to the hospital wing. You can't go to the ball in that condition."

The Slytherins gave her death looks but grudgingly stood up.

"Don't worry," Sirius called after them in a mock sympathetic voice. "I'm sure you won't miss out on anything. I mean, nobody in his right mind would want to dance or hang around anybody as ugly as you are now, right?"

Three-fourths of the crowd jeered and snickered at the defeated Slytherins. 

Cas rolled her eyes. "Sirius, that is enough. You lot just come back in here before the teachers find out about what you did."

"You mean, you're not going to report us?" a puzzled fifth year Hufflepuff said.

Cas smiled. "As long as it doesn't have anything to do with these three, I'm sure it couldn't have been major."

*****

Everybody's breath caught as the students entered the Hall. The teachers had outdone themselves with this year's decorations. Enchanted snow was falling from the ceiling; magnified to the size wherein they could just see the different patterns. The snow magically disappeared as they hit the ground (or the food and the people, for that matter.). Tables for six wound all around the Hall, and a long one for the staff, the head boy and girl, and the prefects was placed where the High Table should have been on normal occasions. Thousands of little fairies wearing glittery elf outfits flew all around the room, carrying small gifts wrapped in elegant gold paper. The usual six Christmas trees had multiplied by two; a dozen pine trees stood around the Hall, each with its own unique style of trimmings. The silver stars on each one glowed like real balls of whitish-gray fire, sending out sparks to the ceiling which exploded into magical fireworks down below. The tables were not lit by candles but by luminous diamond-like crystals that slowly rotated in the middle of the tables. The floor was bewitched to look like the star-studded night sky; the ceiling above was completely covered with snow. Wreaths made out of tingelid leaves, all turning different colors every few seconds, were placed all around the walls. 

Dumbledore laughed heartily from the middle seat in the High Table. "I see you are also thunderstruck with our decorations. I was too, myself, when Professor Lyndell kindly provided us with several thousand live fairies. But, you have all night to stare around! Come, let us tuck into the delicious feast that has been prepared for us! Sit down, sit down!"

The students slowly obeyed. Sirius, James and Remus sat down on one of the middle tables. The food was starting to magically appear onto their plates when Lily arrived, looking resplendent in a dark red gown. Fiery ruby earrings dangled from her earlobes.

"You look nice tonight, Lil," Sirius commented offhandedly before glancing back down at his plate. "Hey, I said I wanted stuffed turkey, not roasted chicken! I don't care if it's not Thanksgiving, you're supposed to give me what I want to eat!" He was talking to the plate, and a second later, the roast chicken on his plate dissolved and two turkey drumsticks reappeared. "That's better," he said. "And put buttered corn kernels with it, I need a side dish. Where's the cranberry sauce? It's not complete!"

His three friends gaped at him. "Well, we deserve proper food service, don't we?" he said indignantly to them. 

"I don't think that's what Dumbledore meant when he said that food was prepared for us," Remus said sarcastically. "Sit down, Lily. Where are Chase and Celeste?"

Lily laughed lightly. "Oh, Celeste's still fussing over makeup. I don't know what she's so worried about, I did mine in ten minutes. Chase's just getting dressed, she was in charge of scolding you in the hall when you weren't behaving well."

"Oh, there's Celeste," Sirius said suddenly. He could spot Celeste a mile away. 

"Hey guys!" Celeste looked even more beautiful with her makeup, even though she took so much time for a makeover she sure knew her style. She didn't overload like most girls who looked like Morticia after they were done. She was wearing a backless sea green gown that was fitted at the top, showing off her curves, and her skirt was tight around the waist and hips and flared out around the knees. She left her hair as is; it looked shinier and softer than usual, and there was a delicate pale pink ring on her finger. 

Celeste sat down, tucking her skirt under her. "What's for dinner?"

"Judging from Sirius the pig here, every food known to man," James answered dryly. 

"I'm not a pig," Sirius protested through a mouthful of food.

James snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Where's Chase? I thought she'd be with you," Lily told her.

Celeste waved it aside. "She got into a bit of a fight with Drucilla Zabini. Well, it wasn't exactly a fight, since Drucilla just stole my makeup bag from our dressing room. Chase--er--offended her somewhat by saying that she could pass as a clown with so much makeup already. Drucilla lost it; you know how she is, stupid Slytherin tattletale and all that. She said something about telling on Ridgewood 'cause he favors her more than any girl in our Potions class. Drucilla was telling her that she was going to devise some evil punishment to torture Chase."

"What? Just for giving one sarcastic remark? Isn't that a little petty?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, it was. I already told you, the Slytherin girls are a bunch of losers who can't find any power so they always hide behind someone stronger than them, even if they have to worship the land that a boy walks on. Disgusting." Celeste helped herself to some steak. 

"What did Chase do?" Remus asked.

Celeste shrugged. "Dunno. I didn't stick around."

"You couldn't defend your own sister?" James asked incredulously.

"Of course I would've! But you know Chase, she _is_ rather independent. She'll find her way out of it, like she always does." 

"If you say so." 

They were all halfway through one dish when Chase power-walked toward them. She looked like she was in a hurry. Nobody noticed her since they were all bending over the delicious courses. 

"You five look like a bunch of vagabonds who haven't eaten in a week," she said sarcastically as she slid into her chair, which was at Sirius's right.

The others looked up, startled. Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally Lily said the words that everybody else couldn't find to say. 

"Wow, Chase, you look _stunning_!!!" Lily exclaimed, openmouthed. 

Chase smirked. "Hardly," she returned, picking up her knife and fork and scooping mashed potatoes from a bowl in an elegant manner. 

"Seriously, you look great," Remus said. "Why don't you glance behind you, every boy in the nearby vicinity is goggling."

Celeste turned in her chair. "He's right," she confirmed. "Where did you _get_ that dress?"

Chase wore a pale blue slightly fitted gown. Her left shoulder was exposed; a slim silver hoop went all the way around her arm, level with the neckline. Attached to the hoop was a translucent blue material that had a slit from cuff to hoop that faced toward her body, long enough to cover the length of her whole arm. Two elegant silver bracelets were on her left wrist. She had a full long-sleeve on her right arm, which was fitted from the shoulder to the elbow and flared down the rest. She had three earlobe holes. Her left ear had two; identical small gem earrings, one sapphire, one amethyst, were in these. A single silver skull dangled from her right ear. Around her neck was the crescent pendant she had worn in the play. She had gathered her hair into three ponytails and twisted them somehow to create a different, spiky effect that pulled her hair slightly on top of her head. The other two were at the sides. Three beaded scrunchies held up her hair. (I seem to be making longer descriptions of Chase more than anyone else, aren't I? ^_- ) 

"It's like you're changed or something," James added. Chase still wore the pale blue eye shadow that she had on earlier, but she had removed the snow-white foundation and replaced it with a natural beige color. He noticed, as she leaned forward to get a helping of Italian carbonara, that her hair had sky blue highlights. 

"I guess so," Chase said in a bored tone. "It's the first time we're supposed to wear formal attires, so it must be real _shocking_," she added sardonically.

"No, seriously. Every single boy behind you is practically drooling. I don't think they're even eating anymore," Remus pointed out.

Chase shrugged her bare shoulder. "Let them stare. It's their life." 

The others exchanged glances. It was hard to believe; Chase Tarlise in a complete transformation. They ate their food in silence, starting to talk only when Dumbledore announced that dinner was over and that everyone should get ready to dance. He cleared all the tables with a wave of his wand and in seconds, the magical stereo was blaring at a reasonably loud decibel. Pairs of students and teachers started to make their way to the dance floor. 

"Well? Aren't any of you going to dance?" Chase asked them.

The marauders looked sheepish. "Er--we don't have partners," Remus explained. 

Chase raised her eyebrows. "You don't? Lily, don't you have one?"

Lily shook her head, blushing slightly. 

"Oh." Chase was silent for a moment. "Why don't you dance with James?" she suggested, her eyes twinkling.

"W-what?" James stammered at the same time Lily said "No way!"

"C'mon," Chase said, standing up and dragging Lily toward James. "Don't mean to be an over-concerned nuisance, but I'm still a little dizzy from the spell effects I had to perform onstage." She grabbed James's wrist and put Lily's hand in his. "Now go!"

James and Lily turned beet red as Chase shoved them into the throng. Sirius whistled after them. "Have a nice _dance,_" he called, winking at Lily as she glanced back at him. Her face, if that was possible, became even redder.

Chase sat back down and smirked. "That was too easy," she said before drinking the remains of her sparkling cider.

"Since when were you the matchmaker?" Sirius challenged.

"Since when were you Mr. Bachelor?" Chase retorted. The four of them stood up as Dumbledore waved his wand at the tables in their area.

"That's because there's only one girl I want to come with!"

"If you're so smart, then how come you didn't ask her?"

"What about you? Don't you think you should've asked who you wanted to go with?"

Chase laughed. "If I had anyone in mind, then I wouldn't be standing here bantering with you," she said. "Oh yeah… I think your dream date disappeared to find someone to dance with."

Sirius's mouth dropped open as he glanced around. "She's gone…" he groaned.

"Tough luck," Chase said in pretend sympathy, suppressing a smile.

"It's your fault," Sirius said suddenly.

"Mine? What, you expect me to pair you up with my sister? Am I the official matchmaker now?" Chase asked in her usual cynic tone.

"I thought we already discussed that," Sirius said dryly. "And that's the reason we lost her in the first place!"

Chase rolled her eyes and was about to answer when Remus cantered toward them, pale as a sheet.

"What's up with you?" Sirius asked.

"You look like you've just seen a gho-- I mean, a full moon," Chase added. She suddenly remembered that the Hogwarts ghosts were anything but scary. Well, except for the Bloody Baron, that is.

"It's your sister," he panted, holding his hands to his knees as he caught his breath. 

"Why? Did something happen to her?" Sirius jumped, looking concerned.

"Ahhhh," Chase said, a grin lifting the corners of her light pink-lipsticked mouth. 

"Ahhhh, what?" Sirius asked with narrowed eyes.

"Why me?" Remus moaned at Chase.

"What? Is there anything wrong with my twin?" Chase asked in mock surprise.

"What are you two talking about?" Sirius demanded loudly.

"Celeste likes Remus," Chase told him matter-of-factly.

"WHAT?" Sirius exclaimed. "But--but I thought she liked James!"

Chase rolled her eyes again. "She was _pretending_ to like James, you moron. We set it up so that Lily an James would get together."

"So that's why she wasn't acting like herself lately," Remus reasoned. Then his voice became panicked again. "She's looking for me! You've gotta--"

"Like I asked, what's wrong with her?" Chase interjected smoothly. "Do you find her that repulsive?"

Remus took a deep breath. "No," he admitted.

"Then what's your problem?" asked Chase. 

"Well, for one, I'm not looking into a relationship right now," he said nervously.

"Unacceptable. You're almost fifteen," Chase announced, crossing her arms over her chest, her bracelets tinkling.

"But, but I just…can't." Remus looked desperately at Sirius, trying to convey that he couldn't possibly explain to Chase that he was a werewolf. Lily knew, of course, but she wouldn't tell a soul, she swore. But Sirius was just staring off into space; the fact that Celeste fancied Remus instead of him must have shocked him, especially because he was more popular than Remus to begin with.

"If you don't have a reasonable excuse to explain why you hate my sister--"

"I don't _hate_ her," Remus interrupted. "I just can't explain."

Chase shrugged. "Well, good luck to you. In dodging her all night, I mean."

Remus started to slink away from them when he heard her singing softly:

__

You can try to resist 

Try to hide from her kiss

But you know, but you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

Don't you know, don't you know that you

Can't fight the moonlight--

"What are you saying?" Remus interrupted. Even Sirius had snapped at attention at the sound of Chase's voice. Remus's palms sweated as he waited for her answer.

"Oh, just singing about your predicament," she explained, a strange, amused glint in her eye.

"Oh…" Remus breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't know, then. He started to walk away again before--

"And Remus?" Chase called. Remus turned around.

"Don't worry. Celeste knows all about it too, and she accepts you for who you are."

__

What? Ice rushed through Remus's veins. _She knows. _She found out all about it. He just stared back at her, frozen with fear.

Chase smiled encouragingly. "You'll always have a friend here, Rem," she said in a tone he had never heard her use before. Was it pity? No… but whatever it was, it made Remus feel strangely relieved.

"Th-thanks," he said shakily. He still couldn't believe she found out.

Chase smirked. "Well then, _have fun,_" she said, returning to cynic mode. She resumed her conversation with Sirius.

Remus turned away, some color returning to his cheeks. Did Lily tell her? Or did she and Celeste find out themselves? Of course they must have. Next to Lily, James, and Sirius, they were the smartest in the school. But why didn't they tell him that they knew? 

*****

"You _knew_?" Sirius asked, shocked. "Since when?"

"Since we were in second year, around the time you guys found out," Chase answered. "Why do you sound so surprised? I'm not stupid, you know." She stared out into the dance floor. "There're Lily and James."

Sirius followed her eyes and saw the two of them too. They looked pretty normal, and their faces had turned to their natural shade. The two of them had a kind of lovestruck look on their faces though.

"God, look at them," Chase grumbled. "They must be totally unaware of the people around them. Like they're off in their own little planet called--"

A new song started. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Snape appeared, with his usual hulking cronies behind him. Wilkes and Macnair had joined in his troop.

"Oh, look, Chase. The annual batch of losers who lost even the ugliest girls to more decent guys. Or maybe they didn't have anybody to go with," Sirius snarled as they approached.

Snape gave him a murderous look. "Keep your mouth shut if you want it to stay where it is, Black," he hissed.

"Oh, I'm so scared," Sirius said, his eyes widening in mock fear. 

"I'm not here for mindless small talk," Snape shot at him, his voice full of pure hatred.

"Then what're you here for, then?" Sirius said scornfully.

Snape ignored him and looked at Chase. "Will you dance with me?" 

If there was one thing Sirius was more stunned to see than Chase's new look, it was this. She looked very taken aback. Shock was very rare in the Tarlise list of emotions.

"What're you playing at, grease head?" Sirius growled at him. No way he was going to let Snape get his slimy Slytherin hands on one of his friends.

"I wasn't talking to you, Black," Snape shot back. Then he turned back to Chase. "Well?" His voice had become unusually earnest.

"Tell him no, Chase. You wouldn't want to dance with the ugliest wizard on the face of the earth, would you?" Sirius glared at Snape's gang, and they glowered menacingly back, cracking their knuckles.

"It's okay, Sirius. I can handle this," Chase spoke up behind him. She seemed to have recovered quickly. He noticed that a small group of spectators had stopped their activities to watch.

"You will dance with me then?" Snape repeated.

"No, I'd rather eat the dirt under my shoes," Chase said flatly. Snape's face fell, but he wasn't discouraged. A few watchers whistled and clapped.

"Why?" was Snape's reply.

"'Cause you're Slytherin scum, that's why," Sirius broke in.

Wilkes put up a hard-looking fist. "One more word, Black…" he said threateningly.

"Nobody wants you here," Sirius shot angrily. "Why don't you band of riffraff gorillas find someone else to pick on?" 

"Stay out of this, Black!" Snape yelled at him.

"You guys are making a scene," Chase pointed out.

They all looked at her.

Chase smirked. "Okay, then, Snape. You want a dance, you'll get one."

Sirius (along with all the onlookers) gasped. "But Chase, you can't--"

"Yes!" Snape threw am annoyingly triumphant look at Sirius. "Shall we have the next dance?"

"Nope," Chase shook her head. "Just call me…when hell freezes over," she finished coldly. She stalked away, with Sirius walking backwards behind her, lowering an eyelid and sticking his tongue out at Snape. (immature I know, but what else can you think of?)

Sirius swung around and caught up to Chase. As they passed, people clapped. "You had me there," Sirius told her, out of breath. "I thought you were really going to dance with him."

"Forget it," Chase said. "He called Lily a Mudblood once when I was right next to her. What did he expect? That I would turn away from my best friend just to dance with a low-class bastard like him?"

"That's the spirit," Sirius stated. He trotted to her left, and it was the first time he'd noticed that she had a tattoo on her upper arm, just below her exposed shoulder. It was a picture of a silver crescent moon overlapping a spiral-shaped, eight-rayed sun that was on its lower right. Three pale blue stars lined the arc of the moon. Somehow Chase had bewitched them to shimmer like jewels.

"Like my tattoo?" Chase said suddenly when she caught him staring. "My dad took me to a tattoo and body-piercing shop last summer. You've seen him, haven't you? Both his arms are covered with motifs of snakes and dragons and who knows what else. It was, you know, the reason why mum broke up with him." She had a downcast look in her eyes.

"You mean, she broke up with your dad because he had tattoos on his arms?" Sirius asked confusedly.

"No, it was his interests. He's got three eyebrow pierces and his ears have more ear holes than even I have, but he's good at heart. I guess my mum just didn't like that type after all." Chase blinked, and Sirius had the unusual instinct to comfort her.

"Er--is that why you and Celeste have different last names?" he said awkwardly.

"Yeah. My mum remarried shortly after their divorce. Mr. Schoharie's a nice guy and all, but it hurts--to see my mum with someone else other than my dad," Chase said softly.

"It must be," Sirius mumbled. He never had to deal with people in this state before. He never had to deal with _Chase_ in this state before. 

"But--even if she did remarry, Celeste should have your dad's last name, right?" he pressed. "I mean, he was her biological father. She should keep your surname."

Chase shook her head. "Not necessarily," she responded. "My mum and dad sued for custody of us when we were three years old. We were shocked when the judge gave his verdict--that each of them should pick either one of us. I didn't want to be separated from Celeste, but that's what they did…"

"Your dad had to choose between Celes and you?" 

"That's right. After mum and Celes went away, my dad became distant to them. Mum did everything she could to see me as often as she could, though. Every summer she came to our house to take me with her. Then, at the summer before our first year at Hogwarts, dad put his foot down and told her that I was to stay with him. He said something about Celeste seeing me at school anyway. But he didn't get it; my _mum_ wanted to see me. Celeste did too, she was always crying like mad when I went back to dad's house…" Chase stared distantly at the dance floor. "It's stupid, really, but I wished they could just get back together. I know there's no hope in it, but that's what I've always wanted ever since I was four."

"Do you want to dance?" Sirius said.

Chase blinked. "What?"

"Er--to get your mind off things…" he muttered almost indistinctly. "Better than standing here when everybody else is dancing, you know."

"Sure," Chase agreed. The two of them made their way to the dance floor just as a slow ballad started. 

They could see Professor Altrow dancing with Professor Quinn, the Astronomy teacher. Dumbledore was chuckling merrily at a joke that Professor Lyndell told them as they danced. A bolt of silver and red caught Sirius's eye; Lily and James once again disappeared into the throng of dancers before he could get a good look of them.

"There're Celeste and Remus," Chase pointed before clasping her hand in Sirius's. She smiled, staring intently at them. "They do look good together, don't they?"

Sirius looked over his shoulder, where Celes and Rem were dancing not too far off. Celeste waved at them and laughed as Remus twirled her around.

"Aw, ain't that sweet," Chase said wryly, starting to overcome her sad mood. 

"Uh-huh," Sirius mumbled.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that you still like her," Chase laughed. "Don't worry about it, Sirius, there're always other girls out there," she said, gesturing at the crowd. "One of them's bound to be 'the one,' as Celes calls it."

"I guess you're right," Sirius said reluctantly.

"At least she's happy now," Chase remarked slowly. "I wouldn't worry about her crying when I have to go back home. She really is sensitive…"

"Does she always cry on her way home from Hogwarts?" asked Sirius.

"We-ell, yeah, I suppose," Chase answered. "It's sad… She loves my dad too, but dad--he isn't really good at long-distance relationships. Celeste wouldn't have a chance to be closer to him unless she moves with us." She lifted her chin slightly to look Sirius in the eye. "D'you think dad will still forgive her? It's not like she did anything wrong…it's mum he's mad at."

Sirius nodded. She looked so vulnerable at that moment--it caught Sirius off his guard. He had always admired Chase for being confident, for keeping her grades up while still playing Quidditch (even though he did too) and for always looking so put together. He imagined her having the perfect life since she was always right when she announced her suspicions with something. Best of all, she knew things and didn't talk about it if you didn't want to. She respected other people's lives and was caring without being irritatingly over-concerned. And here she was, seeming so _fragile _and delicate. So Sirius did the only logical thing he could think of at the moment.

He kissed her.

*****

AN - I'm starting to rethink the genre here… At first I didn't know which category this story fell on so I chose General/Humor. Now I twisted it into some sort of romance story. I'm not very good at this, I think I'll just leave it as is. Oh, and before I forget…REVIEW!!! Thanx,

Dimantrien


	14. Friday the 13th

AN - Okay, I'm really sorry to the two of you who said that the story was going so slowly. The old this-is-my-first-fic excuse need not be applied. Everybody's sick of that alibi anyway. I'll try my best to speed things up, but I'm not promising anything. I'm going to update slower again 'cause I have school and all (sob)… And--about the confusing language--I'll fix it. What can I say, I'm vague and incoherent ^_^ ; Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. Oh yeah, and thanks to those who reviewed! 

****

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, etc.---JK Rowling, plot and original characters---Dimantrien. Whoa that was short.

Chapter 14: Friday the 13th

Chase broke away after a few seconds. "What was that for?" she asked, her cheeks slightly tinged with pink.

Sirius felt his cheeks grow warm. "I don't know," he muttered. It was a good thing that everyone around them was acting all lovey-dovey, because no one else (he thought) was paying the least bit of attention to them. The fact was, he knew what he did that for. He kissed her because…well, he just damn felt like it. It wasn't that he was taking advantage of Chase, but somehow he knew that this was--right.

"Whatever you say," Chase said from somewhere far away. He snapped out of his thoughts. Or maybe he was just affected by all the mushy antics of the couples all around them. Yeah…that must be it. Even Lily and James, who were the most anti-mush people in the world, could get all doe-eyed with each other. That must have been the reason…

"Are you okay? You don't look so good all of a sudden," Chase said in a concerned voice. Sirius didn't move, so she steered him away from the waltzing students, sitting down at one of the tables. (Dumbledore must have set them up again for those who needed a rest.)

"Hey, Sirius?" Chase spoke up as he sat down.

"What?" Sirius answered. She wasn't going to ask why he kissed her, was she? At least she didn't run away, like most girls did when he kissed them. He could count on Chase sitting it out. Still…what if she was going to tell him that she wasn't interested? What if she was totally repulsed by him? What if--

"When you--you know-- Were you thinking of Celeste?"

"Huh?" Sirius said. He wasn't even listening. "Er--I don't know."

"Oh. Well then, who do you really like?" What? She was seriously asking who he wanted to be with? What was he going to say?

Sirius felt the hairs at the back of his neck prickle, but it wasn't because of the cold. His mouth felt strangely dry. "I don't know," he replied lamely.

"Any other words in your vocabulary?" Chase said, rolling her eyes.

"Why do you ask, anyway?" Sirius contested.

"Because you just kissed me in front of eight hundred people! What would you call that, mouth to mouth resuscitation?" Chase demanded.

Oops. Good point. She _did_ have the right to ask. "Er--I--um--" he stammered.

"Take your time," Chase said, holding up a hand. She tapped her golden goblet and said, "Ginger ale, if you don't mind." The cup filled itself.

"Okay, see--I just--" Why couldn't he form a coherent sentence? Why did she suddenly affect him like this?

Chase started to chuckle as she sipped her drink.

"What's so funny?" demanded Sirius. He was busy thinking here, and all she could do was laugh? A minute ago she was the one who looked ready to burst into tears any second.

"It's just that--I've never seen you like this. You know what everybody says about you, right? Sirius Black: cool, calm, collected, clever, cunning, counterbalanced, comely, comical…and a bunch of other 'C' adjectives that you've lived up to. It's pretty funny to see the old stereotype crumble at last."

"Is that what everybody's been saying about me?" Sirius said in a puzzled voice, grateful to finally have formed a sensible question.

"Only for three and a half years," Chase chuckled, her eyes twinkling. "So, have you figured out if you like Celeste or not?"

"Oh!" Sirius had forgotten about it for a split second. "I guess--I don't," he answered finally. "I mean, I liked her and everything, but now that she and Rem--well, I guess I can't stop him from being happy, since he finally has a reason to be at last. Besides, he's one of my best friends."

"Good answer. If nothing else, I would've thought you were a typical male who only cares about bragging about how many girls he lip-locked with in the past to his buddies." Chase drained her goblet and back down.

"Was that your first impression of me when Lily introduced us?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"No," Chase admitted. "But I knew from her that you've had quite a number of relationships in the past," she added with a smirk.

"And what does that mean?" Sirius asked defensively.

"Nothing! Why do you always answer my explanations with a question?"

"I'm trying to see if you can answer all of them," Sirius deadpanned. 

"Thanks a lot. At least I don't stutter and take three minutes before replying," she shot back.

"All right. I guess nobody can beat you in the shooting-people-down department."

"Damn straight."

"You know, it's kinda weird. Sometimes you look so much like a girl but your attitude's just…not," Sirius commented. 

"Sometimes? When _don't_ I look like a girl?" Chase grabbed a churro stick from a platter and dipped it in melted chocolate. 

Sirius was silent for a minute. "Okay, let me rephrase. Sometimes you don't _act_ like a girl, but on other occasions, like now, you surprise us with complete one-eighties and appear looking like the popular princess or something."

"Popular princess?" Chase said with a smirk, as if she was mentally running through the image. "That's so not going to happen."

"That's what I mean!" Sirius said energetically. "You--"

"Hey Sirius!" they heard Remus yell.

Sirius saw him and Celeste running toward them. Celeste had a triumphant, smug smile on her face. 

"Sirius, you won't believe what we just witnessed!" Remus said, out of breath.

"Gee, thanks so much for acknowledging me," Chase said sarcastically.

"Oh, hi to you too, Chase," Remus said with a grin. "C'mon, you two, to the balcony! You've gotta see this! Were you just sitting here talking all this time?"

Remus and Celeste, hand in hand, ran ahead. Sirius looked at Chase.

"Well, consider yourself lucky, Black," Chase told him dryly. "Bet you thought he saw us--"

"You win, you win, that's just what I was thinking," Sirius said impatiently, pulling her up from her seat. He grinned. "But whatever they saw, I bet it had something to do with--"

"Lily and James," Chase finished, smirking. "Let's go!"

*****

Remus and Celeste ran to the balcony overlooking the outer terrace. They had to loop through several secret passages, and he was sure Sirius would be up in a flash, too. Sooner than he could think, Chase and Sirius appeared. Sirius looked like he'd run a mile; Chase's hair was slightly jostled. She untied a beaded scrunchie and redid her hair. 

"Come over here, the pair of you!" Celeste gestured at them to hurry up, her eyes sparkling just like Chase's. 

Chase strolled over first, dragging Sirius along. "For a Beater, you sure have little stamina," she told him. 

"Hey, how was I to know that Kettleburn kept his giant bats in that passage?" Sirius said defensively. His words were soon cut short as they peered over the edge.

"Whoa," Sirius said, clapping his hand over his mouth. 

Chase smirked.

"Told ya," Remus said.

"It worked, Chase! Maybe all those months of acting were actually worth it!" Celeste said ecstatically.

James and Lily were on the terrace below, caught in an old-fashioned lip lock. Yep, things couldn't get any more amusing than this…

"Think we should break them up?" Chase suggested with a wicked grin. 

"I bet they haven't broken that kiss since we first saw them from up here, Celes," Remus told her.

"What were you two doing up here?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus and Celeste blushed bright red. Chase's grin widened.

"You two are too fast for us," she said, shaking her head. "It isn't even Valentines' Day yet…"

"Shhh! They might hear you!" Celeste shushed. 

"Why do you think that spying on innocent people making out is such an enjoyable experience?" whispered Chase.

"Because it's _Lily and James,_" Sirius said. "I say we snap them out of it," he said, his expression a replica of Chase's smile.

"I second the motion," Chase agreed.

Celeste looked skeptical. "I don't think that's such a good--"

"They've been at it for almost one minute!" Remus announced. "Hey, Sirius, don't--"

"Yo, studmuffin, break it up!" Sirius shouted at the top of his lungs, leaning over the balcony. Chase doubled over, laughing. 

Lily and James looked up, expressions of shock, disbelief, embarrassment, and finally anger flashing through their faces in an instant. They pulled away from each other almost imperceptibly. 

Chase whistled using her thumb and forefinger. "Talk about hot and heavy!" she snickered through her laughter.

"I didn't tell them to do it, I swear!" Remus exclaimed in a panicked tone.

"What do you think you're doing, spying on us?!" James said furiously, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment (or maybe it was because of their kiss ^_~ lol). 

"Maybe you were smooching so loudly, that's why Rem and Celes heard you!" Sirius shouted back, tears of mirth in his eyes.

"Shut up, Sirius, they might be really angry," Celeste scolded him, but she couldn't help but let out a giggle herself. 

Lily stood up. "C'mon, Jamie, we'd better find someplace else more private."

"Looks like you didn't try hard enough the first time," Sirius sniggered. James glared at him.

"Now, Sirius, you shouldn't laugh like that. What would you feel if James walked in on you when you were kissing someone?" Remus tried to reason.

"I wouldn't care. I mean, we're all almost fifteen. Why, haven't you kissed anybody before Celes?" Sirius demanded, glancing from Remus to Celeste.

Remus turned pink. "Well, no," he mumbled.

Sirius, not expecting this kind of answer, discontinued his interrogation. 

"We'd better get back to the dance," Chase said, finally controlling her laughs. "Or maybe we should just go back to the dormitories. It seems like we've already had more than enough entertainment for one night."

"Morning," Celeste corrected.

"Whatever," Chase retorted. "Besides, I have no doubt that Lily wouldn't want us to stay up late, sis. We'd better get some sleep, or at least _act _like we're asleep."

"But I want to ask her what she felt when they were doing it--" Celeste started to protest.

"If you want to know what it feels like, why don't you just swap spit with Remus?" Chase said exasperatedly. Celeste's cheeks flamed up and she didn't say another word.

"Swap spit? What kind of term is that?" Sirius cracked up.

"It's a more disgusting way of implying 'kissing'," Chase deadpanned. 

"Okay, okay, I think I get it now," Sirius said as they passed through one of the shortcuts to Gryffindor Tower. His eyes lit up. "Hey, why don't we stop over the kitchens? I'm getting a little hungry after all that laughing."

"Yeah, that's why James called you a pig," Celeste piped up.

"I am not a pig, I'm always hungry after I get a good laugh."

"Then it's remarkable how you never grow fat, judging from the number of disaster pranks you accumulated this year," Remus commented.

"Hey, don't blame me for having a metabolism that moves faster than--"

"Your mouth," Chase ended.

"Are you saying that I'm talkative?" Sirius asked irritably.

"Well, you can hurl insults at the Slytherins at light speed," she answered with a smirk.

Remus tapped a fairy statue just inside the exit of the passage. The wall cracked open and they stepped outside. Miraculously, they had reached the painting of the bowl of fruit that led into the kitchens.

Sirius tickled the pear, opened the handle and stepped inside. The others decided to wait for him outside. 

A minute later he came out, his arms overflowing with a whole roasted turkey, thick gravy and several side dishes in small bowls. "There're more inside," he told them. Remus came in and carried a variety of pastries in a box in his arms. 

With more help from Remus and Sirius, they reached the Fat Lady's portrait within three minutes. They ate the food in the empty common room and retreated to their dormitories as 3:00 a.m. rolled around. 

"Chase, d'you think Lil would be mad at us?" Celeste said worriedly as they climbed the staircase.

"Chill, sis. As long as we pretend we never saw it, she'll be okay," Chase assured.

"Are you sure?" Celeste said doubtfully.

"I'm always sure. Hurry up and unlock the door; I need to take off this horrible makeup that you put on me…"

Celeste rolled her eyes. _"Alohomora," _she recited, tapping the doorknob. "You only put it on for, like, five hours," she teased as she switched on the lights and headed straight for the bathroom.

"Have a nice time battling bacteria," Chase said dully, reaching for the cleansing cream on Celeste's dresser. 

An hour later, after Chase's countless rattles on the bathroom door for Celeste to hurry up and Celeste's complaints that they needed five showers instead of only one, they finally pulled on their nightgowns and shut the hangings on their beds. Chase had just lain down on her pillow when the door opened, sending a flood of light into the room. 

"Thanks for walking me up here, James," they heard Lily's voice say. Chase pulled the hangings on her right side slightly, which faced away from the door. Celeste did the same with her left curtains. They exchanged amused looks as they heard a last smooching noise. Chase stuck her tongue out and rolled her eyes just as Lily was closing the door; Celeste let out a quiet giggle but caught herself just in time before Lily could hear. They dropped back to bed as Lily crossed the room.

"Chase? Celes? Are you awake?" Lily called. 

Chase didn't respond, and to her relief, so had Celeste. She could hear Lily giving a huge, relieved sigh as she entered the bathroom. 

Chase opened her curtains again almost at the same time Celeste had. 

Celeste's eyes sparkled. "Can't I just--" 

"No, you can't," Chase whispered back. "Leave her alone, Celes. Don't forget, we're the ones who pushed her into going for it."

Celeste looked disappointed. "I guess you're right…" she trailed off reluctantly. "Good night, Chase."

"Hope the bed bugs bite, darling sister." Chase fell back onto her bed.

"Ha, ha." Celeste said before rolling over and turning her back on Chase.

*****

Christmas passed by in a blur, and before they knew it, it was the day before Valentines'. (How's that for fast?) Problem was, February 13 was a Friday…

"Yes! My favorite day of the year," Sirius cheered the night before, on February 12. The six of them were in the common room.

"I thought your birthday was your favorite day of the year," Remus pointed out.

"Why would he like his birthday more than April Fools' Day?" Celeste asked, confused. 

"His birthday _is _on April 1, Celes," Chase said exasperatedly. "That must have been the most logical reason why his brain works the way it does."

"Right as always," Sirius said with a grin. "C'mon, you guys, I've already gotten a roll of parchment full of people who are overly-superstitious--"

"D'you have Snape on that list?" Chase asked.

James glanced at the three-foot long parchment. "Nope. But it would be nice if he was one," he answered, looking disappointed that Snape wasn't on the roster.

"Well, he is," Chase said, swiping a Chocolate Frog from the pile of sweets that Sirius had stolen from the Honeydukes cellar. "You shouldn't be filching candies from the shop, you know," she addressed Sirius as she unwrapped it.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's why you're eating unpaid confections. You know I only bring them in for you," he responded.

"How sweet," Chase said sarcastically. "Anyway," she said, turning back to James, "You never knew that? When I told him in Arithmancy that Altrow had announced a quiz and he didn't study, I heard him knocking on the wood. He was trying to look all inconspicuous, but it was so obvious what he was doing. Then there was the time when Hagrid was teetering on this ladder to trim the top part of a Christmas tree, and Snape didn't even notice him. He was right underneath the ladder when I told him that he was probably going to get bad luck (I hope) and then he positively shook and fled away, though that might've been because Hagrid could have fallen and squished him to a pulp any second. Pity it didn't happen, though…"

Celeste's eyes glowed with amusement. "Remember the time two years ago, when Aunt Guida gave you a pure black cat for a pet? We were walking it across the grounds when Snape purposefully bumped me, and when I snapped at him, he just stared at Midnight and let out a high-pitched gasp--"

Sirius cracked up. "High-pitched gasp? That sunken-faced lummox?"

"Why didn't you ever tell us before?" Lily said as she laughed.

"Well, you never asked. I think it's a bit stupid of him, even Muggles know that witches like black cats and such." Celeste picked on her chipped fingernail polish and gave it a tap of the wand, which immediately filled the white spots up.

"He's always been stupid," Sirius said. "The only thing he's good at is Potions and I bet we would've gotten higher marks than him if Ridgewood didn't favor him too much. I think he purposefully takes points from us so that Snape can be the 'best' at something."

"Enough talk about Slytherin slime, then," Remus interjected. "We were supposed to plan stuff for tomorrow, weren't we?"

"Yeah, we better turn in," Lily told the twins. "See you guys tomorrow. Make Divination more interesting."

Identical evil grins spread on the marauders' faces. "Oh, we will. See, we're going to have a practical quiz tomorrow, maybe it's time we started predicting _her _day for once…"

*****

The next day, Sirius got thirty-seven detentions for multiple reasons (though all were related to scaring the wits out of superstitious students (and teachers ^_-)). He was sent to the Headmaster's office exactly eight times in three hours, was three times yelled at in the halls by Professor McGonagall, and was continuously given death glares and murderous looks by victims passing him in the corridors. Approximately 400 people smirked as teachers randomly exploded at him, precisely 200 Slytherins (201 if you included Ridgewood) scowled at and attempted to give him a good beating (or jinxing) between classes, four friends and one girlfriend (Chase?) cheered him on, and two of those got loads of punishments and go-to-Dumbledore's-office messages too.

As they were settling into the start of the second to last period (Charms), there was a loud rap on the door just as Flitwick was getting to the finer points of the effects of the Sapience Charm. 

Flitwick exhaled loudly and waved his wand at the door. A Ravenclaw prefect was just opening her mouth when--

"Yes, yes, I believe everyone already knows the story. Which one of them will be going to the Headmaster's office now?" he asked in exasperation.

"Er, all three of them, professor," the sixth year replied, looking a bit apprehensive of her Head of House's unusual short fuse. 

"Carry on then, boys!" Flitwick said in a somewhat peevish voice. The marauders shrugged and strolled out into the hall, where the prefect handed James the note and hurried away back to whatever class she was taking at the moment. 

They reached the gargoyle and said the password (for the eighteenth time that day), "Ice Mice," and the gargoyle jumped aside to reveal the spiraling staircase leading to Dumbledore's office. 

"Wonder who complained about us now," Sirius said as they climbed the first turn of steps. 

"Probably Aiken Kenrick," James responded as he mentally ran through the people they had set 'bad luck' omens on. "Hufflepuff. You know them, thick when they're friendly, real whiners when they're mad. I bet he'd tattle on his mum and we'll get an earful of moral upbringing and self-disciplinary restraint again…"

"And loads of deducted points," Remus piped up gloomily.

Sirius sighed. "And detentions--I've got fifty-two lined up for the next two weeks."

"A thousand sermons from McGonagall…"

"More homework…"

"_Howlers…_"

They reached Dumbledore's door and opened it, not bothering to knock. The headmaster wasn't there, but Fawkes the phoenix was perched on his cage, nodding to them. The usual old headmasters and headmistresses in the walls were all visiting their friends.

There were four books on Dumbledore's desk; one extremely thin, the other three extremely thick and roughly estimated as over a thousand pages each. Sirius was just making a grab for one when the door opened and Dumbledore came in. 

"Ah, yes, you three. I had just gone to the Owlery; there were several parents complaining their cases through speed mail--frigate sea birds swooping into my office for hours on end. I do believe it was your mother, Sirius, who sent an African Grey parrot? It was going on and on about what she would have said to you if she were here… It was quite a good speaker. I assume that Maeve thought that a Howler would be too extravagant--though I suppose she shall send you one tomorrow?"

"That was mum alright," Sirius agreed grimly, plopping down on an overstuffed armchair facing Dumbledore's desk. 

James and Remus sat down on armchairs on each side of him; this arrangement had probably become permanent in Dumbledore's office since his visitors were usually the marauders anyway.

"What're those books for, Professor?" James asked, pointing at the four on the desk.

"Oh, these? As you might guess, these three thick ones here hold your behavioral reports." He picked up the thickest compilation and tapped it. "This one here is Sirius's. It records all the pranks you pulled on students and teachers alike, and the respective detentions you have received as consequences."

"Gee, that much?" Sirius remarked. He peered closely at the book. "I always thought I accomplished more than that."

"Surely?" Dumbledore said. "That was not quite the reaction I hoped to hear from you, but I guess being proud of your credentials does give you some right."

"Whose is that one over there, then?" Remus asked.

Dumbledore flipped open the thinnest book--if you could call it that. "This? This is Peter Pettigrew's. I daresay you have been rather unattached to him this year; he hasn't been committing to any of your jokes lately. It has given a miraculous increase in his grade point average, I'll give you that…" 

"To business matters, however," Dumbledore continued in a serious tone. "The teachers have been coming up to complain to me too, I'm afraid. Professor Trelawney, in particular," he added with a twinkle in his eye, "threatened to resign if your pranks did not cease. It was unavoidable to ask you--all three of you--to come here again, so here we are."

"She said she was going to resign?" Sirius asked, leaning forward eagerly. Though he was very good in Divination, he was sick of Trelawney always asking him what maladies and adversities he could see through crystal balls. 

"By no means," Dumbledore answered. "And I am sure you will understand if you cannot pursue your monkeyshines any further, lest you desire to be suspended or expelled. Though comments were quite common this day that they would try to eject me from my position if I did not stop you… How very queer indeed…"

"They're going to _impeach _you?" Remus said in amazement.

"Not quite, but I do think they shall attempt it. It would be nice to have a little break though, do you not think so?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily, as if the prospect of being removed from his prestigious position would be quite fascinating.

"But, you can't let them do that, Professor," James objected. "I mean, they'd have to go against the Ministry and all the people who voted for you to be Headmaster--"

"Oh, but they can, James. I do not have the kind of power that can control others' decisions. No, if I did, I would not turn up as I am today. The flaw we humans have is in our craving for riches and power, two of the things that if removed from this world would create a very peaceful outcome among us." Dumbledore picked up a silver instrument on his desk that had stopped spinning and wound a little key underneath it. He set it back on the desk.

"Well, I'm sure they'll lose. Nobody would dare take over your position, sir," Sirius confided.

"Thank you, Sirius. But we are getting far from the real reason I have called you here at this time. I would very much like to say that you could carry on with your…amusing plans, but I fear that it is no longer permitted. I would just like to point out that you have set a new record for the number of detentions in one week, that is, thirty-nine."

"We did?" Sirius asked. "Which one of us?"

"You, of course," James said wearily. "We never could keep up with you."

"Correct. The point is, you are not to play any more tricks on unaware students for the rest of the day, otherwise your parents will disapprove of seeing you on their doorstep so early before the end of the school year. Now, I do hope you three will behave yourselves?"

The three nodded, not daring to cross their fingers behind their backs. It was a mystery how Dumbledore could read all their movements even if he couldn't see them. 

"That is all. You may go back to your classes. Oh yes, and I have assigned a student to watch over you for the remaining hours of this day. You will find that particular person sticking close to you all the way to your common room. Until then, I trust that you three shall follow the rules?"

"Yes, sir," the three of them chorused automatically. They made their way down the stairs and back to Charms.

"Can you believe it? I haven't even finished half of my list yet," Sirius complained, taking out his six-foot long roll of parchment and letting it spread out before him.

"Only you would find that a cause for alarm, Sirius," James laughed as they descended a set of stairs.

"Whatever. Never mind then, I'll just finish all these on my birthday, but that's still ages away. Let's see them try to stop me then…" Sirius trailed off. They reached their classroom and slipped through the door, noticing that some of their classmates had a dazed look on their faces. Flitwick was just saying, "The spell will take effect any moment now…"

Remus jumped as Peter, who was on the chair nearest the door, started to speak. "The relative atomic mass of cobalt is 58.9332! Sn=a/1-r! E=mc2! Venus is approximately 108, 000, 000 kilometers away from the sun! The melting point of aluminum is 660º Celsius with a boiling point of 2,467º! 'I' before 'E' except after 'C'! The largest asteroid ever discovered is Ceres! White is the absence of all colors!" 

The rest of the class started to laugh as Peter went on, then suddenly they themselves became glass-eyed.

"Noun is a name of a person, place or thing!"

"The first goblin rebellion happened in 463 BC!"

"Invertebrates are animals without backbones!"

"The innermost layer of the skin is the subcutis!"

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!"

"Dr. Gerhardus Mercator was the most famous cartographer of the 16th century!"

"Dream Potions are composed of powdered fantasy stones, asphodel, crushed phyrlixiate herbs and water from the Forbidden Spring of Eternal Slumber!"

"Peristalsis is the muscle action that causes the contraction and relaxation of the muscles when food is pushed down the esophagus!"

"Beethoven composed the Für Elise!"

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"

"There are 4 canines, 8 incisors, 16 molars and 4 wisdom teeth in a mature adult's mouth!"

Sirius, Remus and James were practically rolling on the floor, overcome by fits of laughter as their classmates quoted Shakespeare, recited equations and proclaimed the distances of heavenly bodies from one another. Professor Flitwick and Chase were the only other ones not subjected under the Sapient Charm. Sirius supposed that Flitwick had set her aside to help him do the counter-charm. 

It took the whole of the last class (Potions) before the spells totally wore off, and Ridgewood, on top of being extremely vindictive to the marauders, had to deal with temporarily super-intellectual students interrupting his lessons with one scientifically accepted fact or another. Flitwick had to apologize to him since he had miscalculated the time that the counter-charms would take effect. The marauders and Chase could hardly get their Dream Potions right (even if they had all the help they could get from Martin, who continuously voiced the steps and ingredients), what with their laughing so hard. 

Ridgewood, unable to control his class and would have probably spontaneously combusted if he had to put up with them any longer, finally dismissed them thirty minutes early. 

They headed straight to the common room (some passing free period students were thoroughly surprised by the Gryffindors' sudden exertion of mental capacity.). Finally, twenty minutes later in the common room, the counter-charms started to work, and Sirius had a nice time teasing everybody about their two-hour and a half trances. He was just tormenting a beet-red Martin of his Romeo ramblings when Chase tapped him on the shoulder.

Martin looked relieved and escaped quietly toward the boys' staircase. 

"What? I was just getting to the good part when he was play-acting Romeo's drinking the poison--"

"McGonagall's here to see you," she said, jabbing a hitchhiker thumb toward the portrait hole. "Later then," she said, patting him on the back and striding towards Lily and Celeste, who were hanging out by the ever-present fire.

Remus and James were already heading out the portrait hole. Sirius caught up to them where McGonagall was waiting.

She was carrying three new parchment compilations, each one a little bit thicker than the other. "Here are your detentions for the next few weeks. I would like to warn you, Black, that your grade in Transfiguration is heading for a long nose-dive if you do not act like a well-hackneyed student for the rest of the month--"

"You mean, I can start playing pranks again after four weeks?" Sirius said slyly.

"Don't push it, Black," McGonagall warned. (Sorry, I'm getting tired of writing 'Professor' before every name.) "As for you two," she added, turning to James and Remus, "You could only be so thankful that your grades are high enough to combat your poor conduct. And if you reach the point of Black's new record then I shall not hesitate to flunk you too." She handed them their respective detention booklets and walked off. 

"Well, that was fun," Remus said dryly. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna back down a little bit from now on. It was only luck that Dumbledore accepted me to Hogwarts and I'm not going to blow it over."

"Yeah, that's why you've been leading us to turn into Animagi," James scoffed.

Sirius clapped a hand to his forehead. "Animagus transformation!" he exclaimed.

"That's what I said," James answered, startled.

"No, no, what I meant is…" Sirius shook his head. "I forgot all about it."

"You forgot! But you promised that you'd practice it! We were all supposed to do it individually this year, since we're having pre-O.W.L. examinations! I've been busy half the school year helping Peter--"

"You've been teaching _him?_" Sirius asked. 

"He's my friend too, Sirius. And Remus's," James added, glancing at the werewolf. "You can't change that."

Sirius sighed. "Oh, fine. But don't blame me when we're all running around Hogsmeade in animal form and he starts squeaking that we're doing something illegal--"

"I'll make sure of it! Now, shut up, someone might be listening in from the other side of the portrait! Let's go to the dormitory, maybe Pete's there."

They went up to their room. Peter was indeed there, doing his Potions homework and looking at it with extreme difficulty.

"Things going smoothly, Pete?" Remus asked kindly.

Peter looked up. "Remus! No, this essay about Dream Potions is horrible… I don't know if they're supposed to boil the phyrlixiate leaves in the spring water before we crush it."

"Wanna copy mine?" James offered, tossing Peter his essay.

"Oh, I can't, you've worked so hard over it, and that wouldn't be fair--"

James laughed. "That? I wrote it in barely five minutes! Don't worry about it Pete, you can just change some of the words, then Ridgewood wouldn't suspect a thing. He is that dumb anyway."

"Thanks, James," Peter said as he hurriedly scribbled. "Er--what's another word for narcolepsy?"

James and Remus were just about to answer when Sirius spoke behind him.

"Cataplexy," he responded, the usual slight cold in his eyes whenever he was looking at Peter gone. 

Remus and James exchanged looks of delighted amazement, and Peter's face was relieved. 

It looked like Sirius Black had waved the white flag at last.

AN - My mind's all muddled now… I don't know whether to change the category to General/Romance or let it stay as is. The humor is starting to fade anyway. Maybe it's because of all my homework. (Yeah, blame it one school ^_^) I wrote the first few chapters during the summer (April-May?), summer here at my place, anyway. I hate, hate school!!! And I've still got a stupid speech to memorize, a reflection to recopy, seven quizzes to study for…and FOUR SATURDAY CLASSES! Those damned school governors!!! Oh, sorry. Wasn't supposed to say that… Ahem, anyway, I'm not going to change the title either, even if Sirius called a truce with Peter already. Review, okay? I need all I can get if you want me to continue the next chapter through all my assignments… That is, if you're still interested in reading. (I hope you are.) 


	15. Love Legerdemain

****

Disclaimer: Sorry for the lateness! Screw school! If only I could--oh, is this the disclaimer? Argh…DAMN THAT F****** SCHOOL!!!

Chapter 15: Love Legerdemain 

The armistice wasn't lost on Peter the next day. 

Valentines' Day.

It was lucky that February 14 was a Saturday, otherwise the teachers wouldn't have gotten any lecturing done. The whole morning, owls swooped surprisingly to students as they were going to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

Even more so in the Gryffindor Table. Everybody knew that the biggest chick magnets in the school were James and Sirius (and this was probably the reason why so many boys were giving them dirty looks the day before), and even though word had spread that they were taken, tons of owls dropped expensive gifts, scarlet cards and perfumed love letters in long, three-paged rambles on how the two of them were simply _amazing_ and _breathtakingly good-looking. _Chase, ever the cynic, made sarcastic remarks to the lamer valentines and laughing a good part of the time when she read the cheesy lines some girls wrote (not to mention that she herself had already stacked a high pile of valentines and presents). 

"The only good thing about this junk is that I get to have all these presents," Chase commented as she unwrapped a glittering golden necklace with a sun pendant. "Gold _again_? If Travis Spencer loves me then he'd better send silver," she said as she handed the necklace to Lily.

"How'd you know it was Spencer?" Celeste asked curiously. She was halfway through a seven-paged valentine that an anonymous person sent her, where romantic prose was overflowing about how Mr. Secret Admirer loved the way Celeste's hair shone and the smell of her perfume when she bumped into him three days before.

"Of course I know it's him, he's the only person with a left mind who has peanut butter smeared all over his hands all the time," Chase said matter-of-factly. She held up the slightly peanut-buttered edges of the paper and the necklace's box. "Oh yeah, and in case you didn't know, that novel you're reading right now was written by Eric Heathcote."

"How'd you know _that_?" Celeste asked again, staring at the letter. 

"Duh. Like he hasn't been writing long letters to me since second year. He's the one who takes quotes from Shakespeare as a finish. Check the line above the 'secret admirer' signature."

Sirius, having been bored by all his cards (he had opened all his gifts already), was looking through Chase's. He was just opening a gold-gilded one with "Chase" written on the cover in calligraphy, when he dropped it like a hot rock.

"No--way," he said disgustedly, grabbing a napkin and using it to hold the end of the card gingerly.

"Who sent that?" James asked with interest. He wasn't done unwrapping presents yet; he had done it manually while Sirius used magic. 

"I'm gonna kill him," Sirius growled, his eyes dark.

"Give it to me," Lily commanded, making a snatch for the valentine. Sirius held it out of her reach.

"Oh, just hand it to her, Sirius," Chase groaned. "You lot wouldn't be fighting for it if you knew who it was from. It's Snape's."

Lily instantly dropped her outstretched hand. 

"He's got some nerve," James said, shooting a dirty look at the Slytherin Table. Snape wasn't there yet. "Typical. He's probably hiding since he knows that Sirius's gonna rip him out if he were here."

"You can plot his murder later Sirius," Remus added. "We'll help you."

Peter, who was the new (old) addition to their group, took the card from Sirius and read it out. He was quite amazed that he himself had received three valentines ("From Hufflepuffs, no doubt," Sirius had said). Nevertheless, Peter's confidence was boosted somewhat. "To my Radiant Goddess," he read. 

Remus and James sniggered through their cereals, while Chase gagged on her hot chocolate. 

"Maybe I could do that curse about breaking his bones one by one--what d'you call that again?" he asked Chase, who coughed.

"I don't know. Do whatever you want to do, Sirius. Just make sure it's really painful so he won't get any more ideas," Chase answered. Peter handed her the card and Chase used a Laceration Spell on it. The shredding calmed Sirius down. 

"No magic outside class, Miss Tarlise. Ten points from Gryffindor," Ridgewood called from the High Table, his face twisted into a sardonic smile.

Chase threw a fake (obviously) saccharine smile at Ridgewood. "I'm so sorry, sir, I'll make sure not to do so next time. You know, when you finally tell off your favorite student for sending valentines to a displeasing Gryffindor like me when he's supposed to hate my guts," she answered sweetly. A few people who were daring enough laughed. Ridgewood scowled as Chase and the other six friends strolled out of the Hall. 

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for answering a teacher!" Ridgewood yelled after them.

"Ten points for simply pointing out injustice?" Sirius shot back across the Hall. Before Ridgewood could explode, the seven of them headed, as fast as they could, to the nearest secret passage leading to Gryffindor Tower.

*****

They reached the girls' dormitory in ten minutes.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Celeste was exclaiming to her sister. "You're a Tarlise! You shouldn't be answering your teachers, no matter how mean they can be--"

"Shut up, Celeste," Chase said in a bored tone as she pored through her valentines. "Sirius, James and your _boyfriend _have been taking loads of points off our hourglass for ages, and you've never scolded _them_."

Celeste looked at the marauders (okay, so this time Peter's with them, but I swear I still don't like him), as if sizing them up for a second. "That's different. I mean, they're not in the family…"

"Oh, that's right, torment me because I'm your sister, not your fiancé-to-be. You don't call _that_ unfair," Chase scoffed. 

"Fiancé-to-be?" Lily cracked up, almost choking herself on a crab stick. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"You're starting to adapt Sirius's eating habits," Remus observed as he glanced at Lily.

"Yeah, like a total pig," Celeste added, giving Sirius a sidelong glance.

"I object," Sirius defended through a mouthful of chicken salad. Everybody laughed.

Chase pulled out several small wrapped boxes from underneath her bed. "Here," she said, tossing Remus one.

"Really, Chase? You shouldn't have," Remus admonished exaggeratedly as he caught it.

"I thought _1 _was your boyfriend," Sirius protested.

Chase rolled her eyes as she handed Celeste and Lily their presents. Celeste unwrapped hers first and extracted a kiddie-styled stuffed 'Remus' doll. 

"Oh, how cute!" she squealed, ripping off the wrapper entirely.

"Yeah, it'd work as a great pincushion," James quipped.

"Or a voodoo doll," Lily added with a chuckle. "So you can stick needles into it when Remus offended you or something--"

"Or hex it so that whatever you do to it links with Rem and he'll be cursed in real life," Sirius supplied.

"Make it the subject to create his nightmares when he dumps you for another girl," Peter chimed in.

"Gee, thanks," Remus said shortly.

"He'd never do that," Celeste objected, looking horrified at the thought. She clutched the little doll hard. "Would he?"

"Possibly," answered James.

"Probably," Lily responded with a devilish smile.

"Definitely," Sirius replied.

"Sirius!" Remus half-shouted at him.

"I didn't think of that," Chase remarked. 

"Well, there's a lot more things we could think of for a Chase-made personal doll," Lily said as she untied the ribbon on hers. Chase had already given James his present too.

Chase smirked, amused. "That's ironic," she commented. "'Cause that's exactly what I gave _you_ guys."

*****

And when the remaining three (Sirius and Peter not included) pulled out their gifts, they were indeed miniature dolls of their respective partners.

"It's adorable!" Lily gushed, holding up her 'James' doll. "Thanks, Chase!"

"My pleasure," answered the cynic. "It'd be great to watch James being hexed without knowing where it's coming from…from a safe distance."

James scowled at her. "Is that why you didn't make a doll that looks like you?"

"'Course I didn't. Anyway, I'm not going to give Sirius a doll. I mean, you guys are great, but I'm not in love with any of _you_." 

"That's a relieving remark," Sirius piped up.

"Hey Chase, d'you think you can make a Snape doll?" Lily asked with an expression of amusement.

"Why? Are you in love with him?" Chase sardonically responded.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not. Maybe you can make a whole army of Slytherin dolls so we can hex them all without sneaking off in the middle of the night and breaking a slew of rules." 

There was a chorus of 'yeahs' and nods. "Fine then, I'll work on it," Chase reasoned. "But I still don't have enough materi--"

"Chase, practice time!" a voice sang out as the door opened. Erin Sinclair stood in the doorway, apparently taken aback by the presence of four boys in the girls' dormitory. 

"Oookay, I guess I should make that Chase and two rule-breakers too. C'mon, you three, better move fast. Mark's in a bit of a bad mood today, so you'd better move it."

"It's still ten a.m., Erin. How come we have Quidditch practice so early?" Sirius complained.

"Stop being a grouch, Black, or Mark'll bite your head off. Run along now, you need to fetch your broomsticks and robes--"

__

"Accio Silver Arrow!" James said just as Sirius said _"Accio robes!"_

Erin jumped aside as two broomsticks hurtled past her and into the room, followed by two sets of scarlet robes looking very peculiar moving by themselves. "Jeez, try and kill me by stabbing a broomstick handle straight into my stomach, will you."

"Sorry, but you said we better get moving, right?" Sirius said as he pulled his robes over his head. "I don't know why Mark is making such a big deal out of this anyway, we're just going to play Ravenclaw."

"Just Ravenclaw?" Erin exclaimed. "Have you any idea how strong their team's been getting this past few weeks? That's why Mark's so ticked off. And speaking of being ticked off, we better run it. If we're even a second late I'm confident to assume that he's going to give us an extremely cruel punishment…" (Mark's a prefect. Forgot to mention that…)

*****

They barely made it to the Quidditch field (on time). Mark looked disapprovingly at them. "You're late."

"No, we're not," Chase objected. "We got here precisely five seconds before the second hand ticked past 10:15. We are officially on time."

"Fine then," Mark said with a scowl. "Just mount your brooms. We're going to practice moves to use against the Ravenclaws today. Keith, you're to pass the Quaffle to Chase whenever she's open or when it's an easy pass. If not, try to shoot it yourself but fake a little once in a while and then pass it to her. I heard the Ravenclaw Chasers have a weak spot in that tactic. But don't do it _too _often, they might figure it out. Dione and Sirius, you know what to do, you've gotta make a mad dash for every Bludger. And James…try to catch the Snitch in the least span of time as you can. We're ahead of the league by seventy points, but you never know how skilled they trained their Seeker now…"

Mark clapped his hands and the players flew off into the air as he released the four official balls. A Bludger pelted straight at Erin as she was heading for the goalposts, and Sirius smashed it away at the last second.

"Nice work, Sirius. Just make sure it heads straight for a Ravenclaw next time, got it?" Mark called from below.

"How can I make it hit a Ravenclaw when there's _no _Ravenclaw to receive the blow?" Sirius bellowed sourly back.

Mark ignored him as Chase passed the Quaffle. Sirius decided on physical retaliation, swinging a passing Bludger as hard as he could in Mark's direction.

"Hey!" Dione complained, nearly getting hit on the head by the offending Bludger.

"Watch it!" Keith yelled as he was about to shoot. In his avoidance of the Bludger he dropped the Quaffle. 

James, who was in the middle of a dive, nearly fell off his broom as he pulled out when the Bludger changed direction and shot straight at him from below. "SIRIUS!!!" he shouted as he rolled over in the air. He lost sight of the Snitch. 

The Bludger, if it had a mind of its own, was doing very well. It almost knocked Chase over when she caught the Quaffle from Keith, sending her spiraling out of the way. 

Erin didn't escape the Bludger's wrath either. The Bludger pelted at her when her mind was still fixed on blocking Chase's shot. Instead of the red ball, a midnight blue iron one came into contact with her outstretched arm. A loud CRAAACK rent the air.

"What in blue blazes do you think you're doing!!!" a furious voice shouted from below. Mark had landed in the middle of the field, his face redder than a chili pepper. "Come down here, the lot of you! Now!"

The startled Quidditch players silently glided over to him, with the exceptions of Erin and Chase who was aiding the latter with her broken arm, and Sirius, who was laughing so hard, he could've fallen off his broom. 

"_SIRIUS BLACK!" _Mark thundered as he approached--last. "What the bloody hell were you thinking, causing hazardous damage to your fellow teammates?!"

Sirius laughed even louder. "It-was-supposed--to-hit--YOU!" he gasped, his voice shaking with mirth. "But-instead--it-hit-every--other-person-that--I-wasn't--planning-on-hitting…"

"And you think of it as a mere joke?" Mark lectured him, his expression becoming stonier at the fact that Sirius wasn't taking all this seriously. "Look! You just injured our Keeper…the game's next Saturday! Or was your 'unintended' trick all a minor oversight?"

"Really, Mark, you shouldn't be so hard on him, Madame Pomfrey can mend bones in a snap--" James reasoned in a perfect imitation of a pacifist.

"You shouldn't speak in that tone, it doesn't suit you," Sirius told him, still laughing. Mark and Dione glared at him.

"I'll bring her to the hospital wing," Keith volunteered gravely, if not for the fact that he just wanted to get as far away from Mark's wrath as possible. 

"Go, then," Mark said, his tone softening as he nodded to Keith. Then it returned to anger as he turned back to Sirius. "Now, you--"

"C'mon, Mark, it was just an accident. That's what a Beater's supposed to do, to hit the Bludger at somebody. And it's in nature of every Bludger to unseat as many players as possible," Chase said calmly.

"Yes, but he wasn't supposed to hit it _directly_! The aim during practice is to _pretend _that the Ravenclaw's somewhere in thin air, not to injure a player and wipe out our entire team!" Mark argued.

"If you ask me, that's a pretty stupid objective," Sirius started again, sniggering. 

"Sirius," Chase said exasperatedly. "Look, Mark, why don't we just resume the practice? It's not like our odds of winning against the Ravenclaws will get any better if we shout our heads off down here." Farther down the field they saw Keith returning from the hospital wing. He seemed to be taking his time in catching up with them/

"All right, then, but if you pull another trick like that, I'll _really _march down to Madame Hooch's office and demand your resignation."

"Sure, sure," Sirius said with a smirk. "That's the twenty-fourth time he said that in the middle of a practice this year," he said in a lower tone to James, Keith and Chase. 

Chase rolled her eyes. "Mark can scream his lungs out all he wants at you, but he's never going to take you off the team. Just don't take it for granted."

"Or you'll what?" Sirius said innocently.

"Or I'll--"

"Break up with him?" James jibed.

"Personally make sure that you get back at him by going out with his worst enemy?" Keith guessed.

Chase laughed. "No, I don't think I'll go _that _far. The day I go out with Snape is the day--um--the day Sirius turns into a devotee to rules," she told him.

"Then the odds of Chase breaking up with me to go on a date with that--that idiot scum is zero," Sirius remarked.

"Try negative google," Chase supplied.

"Even better."

Above, Dione hovered over them. "Are you guys going to practice or not?" she demanded peevishly. She quite fancied--or rather, was overly obsessed with their Quidditch captain, and sided with him in every issue.

"Keep your hat on, we're coming," Keith complained.

Dione's face darkened. "Don't even think of aggravating Mark again, Black," she threatened Sirius.

"I'm _shaking_ with fear," Sirius said mockingly. 

Dione narrowed her eyes at him but was dignified enough not to answer. She started to fly past them and into more open air.

"Kiss butt," Chase muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Dione stopped mid-glide, turning around and glowering at Chase.

"Nothing," Chase answered innocently. She mounted her own broom and flew off. Dione soon followed.

"Yep, that's my girl all right," Sirius said proudly.

"Flaunt it while you've got it," James told him as he shot upward on his broom.

*****

An hour later, due to Sirius's constant complaints that they should have been doing this at night, Mark finally gave up and dismissed the team. Sirius, James and Chase headed back to the Gryffindor Tower, their broomsticks over their shoulders.

"Hey James, did you forget to send Snape that 'secret admirer' letter?" Sirius said suddenly.

"How would I forget? He's probably reading it right now, shocked into fits when he sees who it's from." James smirked as they faced the Fat Lady. 

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked. She was holding a heart-shaped card and was giggling simultaneously.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked in amazement. 

The Fat Lady giggled again. "It's really none of your business," she admonished. "Password?"

"Who in his right mind would have a crush on an obese painting?" Sirius wondered aloud to James and Chase. 

Chase smirked, looking over at the Fat Lady. "Keep your tone down, Sirius."

The Fat Lady was pissed off. She didn't like it (who would?) when people verbally commented on her fatness. "In case you didn't know, this card is from Sir Cadogan," she said indignantly.

The three nodded to one another. "You were right. Nobody with a right mind would think of sending her a letter," James laughed.

"Only a mad knight would pull a crazy stunt like that," Chase remarked.

The Fat Lady was about to respond when Sirius said, "Bygones be bygones."

Without a choice, the Fat Lady automatically swung open, unable to retort. The three Quidditch players climbed into the portrait hole.

Lily looked up from several neat piles of cards and letters that she had already read and counted. She glanced at Chase. "Two hundred and thirty-three," she said triumphantly.

Chase smirked. "Three hundred and thirty-_four_," she replied. Lily's face fell.

"Damn, why do you always beat me by one card?!" Lily exclaimed as Chase slid onto the seat next to her.

An owl swooped through the window and dropped a scarlet card onto Lily's lap. "Yes! We're even," Lily said.

"On the contrary," Chase countered. "It was 334 the _last _time I checked, which was over an hour ago. You never know, there might be another card in there somewhere…" She headed back to the girls' dormitory. Several second years turned to stare. 

"She's got you there, Lil," James said. 

Lily slumped back into her chair. "Why are my friends all heartthrobs?" she asked aloud.

"Why, thanks for the compliment," Sirius answered.

"You mean Pete is a heartthrob?" James asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, maybe not _all _of my friends. Meet you later at lunch." She waved her wand and the piles of cards flew off in the direction of the dorms.

When lunch time rolled around, the seven of them came down to the Great Hall. Laughter was echoing inside as they approached.

"What's happening?" Celeste asked as they headed for the Gryffindor Table. Several Slytherins were blocking something--or maybe some_one _from view.

An evil grin spread on Sirius's face. "I think I know what this is about," he said. They sat down on their usual seats in their table, where a number of Gryffindors were already crying with mirth. 

"Ookay, what turned you guys into total lunatics?" Lily asked Sylvia, whose hand was shaking as she tried to lift a spoon to her mouth. She too was laughing her head off.

"I didn't know hilarity could cause epilepsy," Chase said dryly. She sat on the seat across from Lily, which faced away from the Slytherin Table.

Lily was just drinking a bit of water when she almost spit it all out. "Omigod," she laughed--or what a laugh would sound like when you're choking ^_^. 

Celeste, who sat beside Lily, started giggling too. "Which one of you did it?" she asked the four marauders.

"Me," Sirius said proudly.

Chase, who had had enough of the rapid spreading of laughs, swung around and glanced at the Slytherin Table. There, sitting in the middle of the long table was Snape, looking extremely baffled. And his hair was dyed every color of the rainbow.

"What? What are you all laughing about?" Snape said in outrage as even the Slytherins chortled at the sight of him.

"Yo Snape, love the hair!" Chase called from the Gryffindor Table. 

"Yeah, is the Pretty Rainbow Unicorn Club booming these days?" Sirius sniggered. 

"Trying to set a new trend again?" a Ravenclaw catcalled from his seat.

"Is that your way of trying to impress a girl?" Lily mocked.

"Or maybe it's a _boy _Ms. Severa is--ah--accessorizing for," James said.

"Say that again, Potter!" Snape yelled furiously. He was obviously clueless as to why everybody was goggling and mocking and laughing at him. 

"Look in a mirror!" a Hufflepuff girl shouted.

"Better not, or it'll break once he looks at it!" another Hufflepuff said loudly.

Other insults ensued (the professors were all not in, since they had a conference meeting) from the mocking crowd.

"That'd be swell, he'll have seven years of bad luck!"

"And I thought clowns looked ridiculous with their rainbow hair."

"Is that his new get-up for the Valentines' Dance?"

"I've never known anybody stupid enough to fall for the same trick that Sirius pulled twice."

"Aren't gay teens a tragedy?"

"Poor Mr. and Mrs. Snape. No matter how rotten they must be they certainly don't deserve a child like that…"

"Maybe Mrs. S wanted a girl."

"Nope, I think the gay-ness comes naturally."

The laughter didn't stop as Lucius Malfoy and his girlfriend, Narcissa Kingley, entered the room.

"What's all this racket?" Lucius said disapprovingly. He was a Slytherin prefect. 

All the other prefects and the Head Boy and Girl were trying desperately to halt the insults and antics of the students, but with little success. Even the Hufflepuffs, who usually tried to prevent fights, were joining in the jeering.

"Lucius, you've got to help us, it seems like Black and Potter pulled another trick on Snape--" a Hufflepuff prefect was saying.

"Snape again? How many times do I have to tell that idiot of a Slytherin not to fall for their petty tricks?! What is it this time?" Lucius said in an annoyed tone.

"Don't be so hard on the boy, sweetheart, those dratted Gryffindors are a lot worse than him," Narcissa said soothingly.

"Lucius, from here it looks like someone from their gang sneaked into the Slytherin common room and put rainbow hair dye in Snape's shampoo--"

"They did that two months ago!" Lucius shouted, his nostrils flaring. "What wizard with a right mind would fall for the same trick twice?"

"That's just what I said a while ago!" a Ravenclaw piped up from the nearest table.

"Shut up, Walton, this is none of your business," Lucius snapped at him.

"Hurry, Lucius, you've got to do something before the Professors arrive--"

Lucius looked angrier. "You can't do anything without my help, can you? Waiting for me to do the dirty work, why I'll--"

"But you were the one who said that you were going to deal with Slytherin issues yourself!" the Hufflepuff prefect argued.

"Silence! Now, get out of the way, Davis, that fourth year needs to be taught a lesson." Lucius stalked, fuming, towards the insulting crowd that had already gathered around poor unfortunate helpless Snape. (Sorry, had to make him really pathetic ^_-)

"Snape!" Lucius barked. A fourth of the crowd, the ones in front of Lucius, backed away, leaving him with a clear view of Snape. He seemed to be the only one not finding any humor in Sirius's little trick.

"Uh-oh, that's Lucius Malfoy, we'd better skidaddle," Chase muttered to Lily. Sirius and James, too busy mocking and annoying Snape, didn't hear her.

Remus tapped them on the shoulders. "C'mon, you two, we need to go," he said urgently, though it must seem hard to say that in a serious tone when he was still on the verge of rolling around the floor, sniggering. ^_^

"What? I was just about to deliver my best line--" Sirius protested, but Chase dragged him toward the entrance of the Hall, away from the mob. 

"I haven't eaten yet," James moaned as Remus and Celeste hauled him away. "I need fooood…."

"Shut up, you're starting to sound like Sirius," Chase said sarcastically.

"I thought that was Lily," Celeste reminded.

"Whatever, just run, run!" Chase said. The decibel of derogatory innuendo within the Hall had lessened tremendously, and it was obvious that Lucius had calmed the students down (or maybe threatened them to shut up or he'll unleash a curse on all of them ^_^) long enough to have proper hearing while hunting for the apparent culprit (Sirius). 

"You heard her, let's go!" Peter squeaked in a frightened tone. He greatly feared Lucius Malfoy among all the Slytherins.

The seven friends barely had time to slip into the nearest secret passage (an entrance into a stone wall that opened by poking the left eye of the statue in front of it) when Narcissa and Wilkes came lumbering out. No doubt sent by Lucius to look for the offender. 

James led the way to the kitchen, where the house elves gladly served them a feast. They must have stayed there for several hours before Chase reminded: "Four o'clock already. We've gotta get ready for the dance."

"Screw the dance," James said, but Lily whacked him on the head. "Ow! Okay, okay, I'm moving," he corrected, rubbing the side of his head profusely. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Ugh, It'd take more than a couple of miles of running before I can burn off all the calories I consumed today," Celeste whined. "Damn you James, you shouldn't have sent us here in the first place!"

James grinned. "Hey, it's not my fault that the house-elves fill up the plates right after we get a single piece of something."

"Curse the house elves too," Celeste muttered, causing several house elves standing by near her to flinch.

"She doesn't mean it. She always thinks she's provoked when she's complaining about her super-slow metabolism and becoming fat and developing bulimia," Chase assured the upset elves.

"Gee, thanks," Celeste snapped at her.

"And it also makes her extremely grouchy in comparison to her normal temper-builder, which is saying a lot since Celeste's a big drama queen--"

"Shut up, Chase."

"I will if you just admit that I'm slimmer than you."

"You are not!"

"I am too."

"You're not, your waistline's twenty-six and mine's twenty five--"

"You're fourteen years old and you still don't know how to use a tape measure."

"You are so--" Celeste was saying, when James broke them up, looking quite amused.

"Okay, before this turns into a very heated cat fight--"

"How dare you!" Celeste cried.

"I am _not _petty about matters like this," Chase objected.

"Right. I'm just trying to inform you that we need to go back to the common room, like you said." James pointed at his watch, which read 4:02. 

"You still weigh more than me," Celeste told Chase.

Chase sighed. "No, I don't. In case you didn't know, my metabolism is faster than the speed in which Sirius's mouth moves when he's insulting Snape."

"You just made that up."

"Drop it, Celes."

The house elves bowed them out of the kitchens, eagerly telling them that their next visit would always be welcome. Chase was the second to the last to go out, Sirius behind her. She smirked and whispered, "Celeste's waistline is 27 inches."

*****

Lily pounded on the bathroom door. "CE-LES-TE!!! Get the bloody hell out of there, you've already been thirty minutes!"

"The delicate skin needs plenty of time to nourish," was the echoing reply.

"Crap! If I don't hear the shower off in ten seconds, I'm going to magically unlock this door and pull you out of the tub, soaped or de-soaped!!!" 

"Slow and steady keeps you ready," Celeste singsonged.

"TEN….NINE…EIGHT…" Lily counted.

"Keep your head on, flower girl," Celeste called from inside.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Lily screamed. "SEVEN...SIX…FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE--"

"Whoa, Flower Power," Chase admonished, grabbing Lily's wrist before she could rip the door into a million magical pieces. "What if the guys just barge in here when you smash the door down, and they see Celes completely naked?"

"I don't care, she would deserve it," Lily said, but she literally calmed down long enough for Chase to lead her back to her bed. This time it was Chase's turn to bang on the showers.

"We're _all _going to be late if you don't open the freaking door, sis!" Chase called.

"Beauty takes time," Celeste answered from inside.

"Time is gold," Chase retaliated. 

"Patience is a virtue," Celeste countered.

Chase glanced back at Lily. "Okay, I guess you were right. Should we bang down the door, or should we magically do it and fling her head first into her bed, without a care that the boys would come in at any moment?"

"Magically, no question," Lily answered enthusiastically. 

"She usually doesn't grate on my nerves when she's taking hour-long showers, but desperate times call for drastic measures," Chase said exasperatedly.

Their wands were raised high when--

"Wait a minute, I know a way to make her bolt out faster than light," Chase said suddenly.

Lily reluctantly put down her wand. "Fine, but only because she's one of my best friends and I'm 100% feminist."

"Here goes. _Roacolegiona!_" Chase said, pointing down at the slit in between the floor and the door's bottom edged. Several cockroaches erupted from her wand and headed straight into the bathroom.

Barely seconds later they heard a bloodcurdling scream. "AAAAUUUUURGHHH!!!!!! Roaches! Chase, you bastard!!!"

Celeste rushed out of the room, clad only in a towel. The troop of cockroaches followed her. She screamed again. "EEEEWWW!!! Get them away, get them away!" she squealed, jumping onto her bed.

"Patience is a virtue," Chase said in a saintly voice as the roaches crawled up the sheets. Lily laughed.

"Chase! I swear I'm personally going to kill you if you don't zap them!!!" Celeste said in a panicked tone, jumping onto Lily's bed.

"Later, sister love," Chase taunted, grabbing several fluffy white towels and entering the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Lily! Do something!" Celeste shouted.

"Keep your head on," Lily repeated Celeste's words with a smirk. "There's a wand next to you, genius girl. Use it if you need it."

"I'll murder you! I'm not going to rest until I learn the _Avada Kedavra _Curse! I'll--" Celeste screamed as a roach crawled up her leg. She slapped it away. "Eeeeew! Disgusting! Gross!"

"Words won't help you kill a cockroach," Lily said wisely. 

Celeste gave up, grabbed Lily's wand and kept yelling _"Incendio! Incendio!" _

"Stupid. Stupefy them, if need be."

__

"Stupefy!!!!" Celeste shrieked. The roaches instantly froze, unconscious.

"Is she in her rational self now?" Chase called from the bathroom.

"Still unidentifiable. She might be seeing red, and I might have to dodge a bunch of hexes--"

__

"Furnunculus! Skalinta Oculus! Squallorine--" 

"Petrificus Totalus!" Lily cried. Celeste instantly became rigid and fell onto the floor. 

Chase stepped out of the bathroom. "Hey, you forgot, she's just in a towel--"

Lily's hand flew to her mouth. "I forgot!" She righted Celeste, who was looking vindictive (almost like Ridgewood ^_^). 

The remaining hour proved slightly better, since Celeste knew that she deserved what she got, and she thought that Lily and Chase would look like 'total fashion disasters' if she didn't deal with them. 

"Okay, all done!" she announced happily as she finally allowed Chase to stand up from her seat. Celeste had spent twenty whole minutes applying makeup to her sister.

"Jeez, I think I've got a stiff neck already after all your fusses," Chase complained.

Celeste tutted as she zippered up her bulging makeup kit. "There, now we're all ready to go--"

"Celeste, I need you over here! My hair's limp!" Lily shouted from across the room. 

Celeste shrugged her bare shoulders. "Duty calls," she said as she glided toward her distressed friend.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she approached.

"It's my hair, I don't know what to do with it--"

"I never thought I'd see the day when Lily Evans actually cares about how she should be doing her hair," Chase piped up behind Celeste.

"Okay, let's think. What's the best thing to do with red, shoulder-length hair?" Celeste wondered aloud, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"It's not limp, Lil," Chase assured her.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked.

Celeste's eyes lit up. "I know! The right thing for limp hair is--"

"You said it wasn't limp!" Lily cried to Chase, starting to look panicked again. 

"Let's do one of those mini-buns on your head!" Celeste exclaimed.

"What the hell is that?" Chase demanded.

"Here, I'll show you," Celeste said gleefully. _"Accio hairpins!" _

She took a thin bundle of Lily's hair, near the top of her head, and artfully rolled it into a small bun. She stuck two hairpins into it, and it miraculously stayed. 

"Ta-dah! Isn't it great?" Celeste said.

"It looks like an alien growth or something--" Lily moaned. 

"That's because I've only done one. It'll look really cool once I finish it," Celeste said, thumbing through Lily's hair again.

When she was done, the other two turned to observe her work.

"Yay! Now you look like a fairy-tale princess--"

"I thought that was your call," Chase said with a smirk.

"C'mon, Lil! What d'you think?" Celeste urged her.

Lily tilted her head from side to side, looking at the neat row of buns running across the front top of her head. "Are you sure that I don't look like one of the Teletubbies?" she whined.

Celeste laughed. "You definitely don't. Now, let's go, they're probably waiting for us down at the common room…"

*****

AN - One word: REVIEW!!!


	16. Strike Two

****

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. Oh, and I should have said this a long time ago, but thanks for those who reviewed my story so far. Only I understand if you find this chapter pretty useless and not satisfying… I'm really stressed out over my quarterly exams! But please review, tell me if I should change it or if it doesn't make any sense or _something. _Thanks, and I'll stop whining now. ^_^

Chapter 16: Strike Two 

"Are you ready yet?" Celeste demanded after fifteen more minutes.

"Like I was the one who bossed me around to do my hair up," Chase shot back, finishing a neat braid that ran all across the front (above the forehead) of her hair. She snapped the end of the braid with a barrette near her left sideburn. Lily had left a few minutes ago, tired of waiting around for her friends. Chase began to make another row behind the first braid from the opposite starting point of the latter, creating the effect of a built-in double-layered hair band. She had again highlighted her hair so that violet and pink strands intermingled with the 'hair accessory.' 

"Well, it's not my fault that you are totally clueless about hair accesorizing," Celeste replied in a slightly ruffled tone as she put on her trendier-than-thou dangling diamond earrings.

"Lay the accesorizing a tad thinner, then," Chase quipped as she reached under her bed for her chunky platforms. The best thing about the Valentines' Dance was that they were allowed to wear Muggle clothes, which was kind of an advantage at this point since there were more options than just stiff gowns and plain monochromatic dress robes.

"Hurry up, Chase, the dance'll be over by the time we get there!" Celeste urged her impatiently, tapping her high-heeled sandal against the plush bloodred carpet.

"So your beloved werewolf will have to wait for you for a few extra minutes, so what?" Chase's muffled voice answered as she finally extracted her lavender shoes. She slipped them on, not looking the least bit worried that Sirius might be asked by another girl to dance the first dance before she did. 

"Oh, come _on_!" Celeste moaned, dragging Chase to the door before she could even slip her foot into her left shoe. 

"Hey, my shoes!" Chase exclaimed. _"Accio!" _The platforms whisked into her hand and she tried to put them on as Celeste continued to haul her.

"Aren't--you--a--bit--too--excited? It's--just--a--dance," Chase said as she hopped down the stairs on one foot.

"If you've forgotten, this is the first Valentines' Dance we will ever experience in Hogwarts, since fourth year is the year we start attending them!" Celeste explained impatiently.

Chase rolled her eyes. "I _know _that, but--"

Her voice was drowned in the midst of about forty others as they descended to the common room. 

"See? I told you we weren't late!" Chase shouted to be heard over all the noise--or rather, to be heard over the sound of smooching noises all around them ^_^

Celeste didn't answer, marching straight to the portrait hole. Chase shrugged and ran to catch up with her.

*****

When they reached the Great Hall, people were starting to come in and others, who had dates with students from the different Houses stood by the entrance, waiting. Chase and Celeste came straight inside, looking around for their friends.

There was only one word to describe the Hall: red. Okay, red and pink. Heart-shaped confetti and an occasional scarlet gift box fell from the ceiling, covering the carpets with thousands of bewitched stuff. All the tablecloths in the Hall were stained bright red and silver napkin dispensers held pink paper napkins. Dumbledore must have asked a favor from the Forbidden Forest's nymphs; they were gliding gracefully all around the room in delicate gowns made of millions of tiny red petals sewn together. They left a sweet, enchanting smell as they passed between the tables, singing soft, lovely arias to the students. The fairies who had worn Santa outfits last Christmas were now outfitted with Cupid ones, armed with a tiny bow and a quiver of arrows on their winged backs. Professor Flitwick had managed to change each and every one of their wings to angel ones. 

"Nice décor job," Chase remarked. About ten little fairy-cupids fluttered past, bearing a small wrapped box. 

"Yeah. Extra torture for the fairies," Celeste observed dryly. They made their way through a group of chatterbox second-year girls before reaching their friends' table.

"Hey! What took you guys so long?" Lily asked in way of greeting. She was already serving herself to some grilled salmon. 

Celeste sighed again. "Oh, you know. We only got held up because _some _people don't know how to fix their own hair properly," she said, giving Chase a sidelong glance.

Chase shrugged one shoulder. "It's my hair, it's my life. So what business do you have fussing over it?" 

Celeste opened her mouth, probably to pronounce exactly why leaving your hair loose was a capital fashion crime, but Lily cut her off.

"Spare us one of your fad litanies," Lily moaned. Everyone laughed.

"Seriously, how'd you do your hair like that?" Sirius asked Celeste with interest, looking at her strange twisty hairstyle.

"Oh, it's really easy," Chase answered for her twin wryly. "All you need is about twenty consecutive Lacuna Charms, two cans of hair spray, a hundred bobby pins and forty-five minutes."

The others laughed again. "So that's why you took so long," Peter squeaked.

"No, I had to take all that time waiting for Chase, since she so rudely and inconsiderately did not fix her hair like she should--"

"My dear sister, I hate to break it to you but between the two of us, who do you think would everyone be more likely to believe to be more responsible with chronic lateness caused by advertent hairstyle consciousness?" Chase cut her off smoothly.

"Words from the wise one," James said with mock sobriety.

"She does have a point there, Celes," Lily cited.

Celeste scooped up some buttered corn kernels haughtily. Chase smirked.

Scarcely five minute later Luna, Chase's snowy owl, landed on their table, carrying a parcel with luminous silver gift-wrap that was skillfully folded and styled to create an elegant effect. 

"What's Luna doing here?" Peter asked, confused.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Obviously delivering a present, no doubt," he said, his voice filled with sarcasm. 

"Yeah, but who's it for?" James asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Well, it's no mystery. Sirius's the only one Chase hasn't given a Valentines' present yet," Remus pointed out.

Sirius untied the parcel from Luna who rustled her wings irritably at his sudden action. He tore the wrapping completely in barely ten seconds.

"Did you wrap that?" Celeste asked Chase.

"No way will I spend that much time wrapping a present for Sirius. You know how much he obliterates it after he gets his hands on a gift." 

"It's a book," James said blankly. 

Sirius picked up the book facing the back cover, and turned the book over. He gave a huge gasp.

"What? What is it?" the marauders pressed, starting to leave their seats to look at the title.

"This is it!" Sirius exclaimed in amazement. "This is so incredible!!! Where the heck did you find--"

"What _is _it?" James asked impatiently, trying to look at the book, but Sirius, whose eyes had grown to twice their normal size because of his surprise, wouldn't show it.

James threw up his hands. "Come on, Sirius! It's just a book!"

"It's not just any book," Sirius said defensively.

"Then what is it?!!!"

"It's _The Ultimate Guide to the 101 Greatest Hexes of the 21st Century,_" Chase replied.

"THE WHAT?!!!" James shouted. People stared at him, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Are you kidding?" Remus asked her in disbelief.

Chase shrugged. "That's the one that--"

"B-but, but the Ministry said that that book should have been banned! Where'd you get a copy of it?!" Peter said in wonder.

"Yeah, where?" James demanded.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!" Sirius told her ecstatically, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Quite undignified for the school chick magnet. 

"You're welcome," Chase said with a smirk. She, like all the rest staring at the group, was just as amused at Sirius's reactions.

"_Where_ did you get it?" James yelled again. Sirius pulled Chase up just as Dumbledore said "And now…the dance."

"But I haven't even eaten yet!!!" James shouted. Apparently no one heard him, for couples all around were leaving their seats and finding their own cozy slow-dancing spot on the dance floor. The food and the tables disappeared.

"Sirius! Aren't you forgetting something? This is injustice! Madness! You're supposed to protest--"

Lily steered him toward the dance floor, pointing her index finger at the side of her head and twirling it in a circle, rolling her eyes at the students (and teachers) who looked queerly at James. (Yes, even girlfriends have their limits sometimes…Not even Lily could resist admitting that James was acting like a total lunatic, being his soul mate ^_^)

She caught a glimpse of Sirius and Chase dancing to a fast tune in the middle of the dance area and smiled. And noted that for the first time in all the years she had known Sirius, he had forgotten to think about food before anything else.

*****

Remus and Celeste left the dance floor after thirty minutes, if only to keep Peter company since he was standing all alone, watching the throng of whirling couples. He did look rather disappointed (serves him right), and Remus, being the softie that he was, told Celeste to give it a rest for a while so that Peter would have somebody to talk to. 

"Hey, Pete! Haven't asked anyone yet?" Remus asked brightly as he and Celeste sauntered up to him.

"No," Peter said miserably, shaking his head. "I don't know why I got valentines this morning either, maybe some Slytherins just set it up to give me a good laugh…"

"Don't think like that, Pete," Celeste said encouragingly. "Those letters were for real, I know. Of course, there's the matter that they could've been from second-or-third years…"

Her remark seemed to have made Peter feel worse. "That's it, then. I'm going back to the dormitory, nobody wants to be with me anyway--"

"Oh, don't be silly Pete, you've just got to come up to a girl, gather your courage, and ask her to dance. It's not like it's any big deal or anything," Remus said.

"But it _is_ a big deal. It might be easy for you, Rem, since practically anyone you ask would say yes--"

"Which isn't going to happen while I'm here," Celeste interjected, intertwining her fingers with Remus's.

"The possessive type, are you?" Chase spoke up, making the three of them jump when at her sudden appearance.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked her.

Chase jerked her head towards the dance floor. "Dancing," she responded.

"By himself?" Peter said stupidly.

Chase rolled her eyes. "Of course not. He's dancing with Maxine Eamon," she said.

"Are you crazy?!" Celeste exclaimed, looking at Chase as if she were mad. "Why? Why'd you let him dance with another girl when you know perfectly well that you two are a couple?"

"You make it sound like I ought to be hanged for what I did," Chase said in a sarcastic (what else?) tone. 

"Well, if I wasn't your sister, then I think you should be! Letting your BF dance, hold hands, and leaving him alone with another girl is a definite no in relationships! If I hadn't known any better, she must've whisked him off into a dark corner out on the grounds--"

"Okay, you can stop now," Chase said, not in the least bit threatened of the possibility.

"I think you should trust your sister on this one, Chase," Remus pointed out. "I mean, Maxine's one of the biggest flirts in Hogwarts--"

"_And_ she's had a crush on Sirius ever since she was a zygote," Peter chimed in.

"You know the meaning of zygote?" Remus asked him in disbelief.

Peter was indignant. "I am fourteen years old you know," he said defensively.

"Getting back to the point," Celeste said impatiently, "you shouldn't have done that! That must be the stupidest thing you've ever done, next to not wearing makeup until the age of thirteen--"

"Only you would find that a disgrace, Celeste," Chase scoffed.

"Go! Go back there and find him!" Celeste said, ignoring Chase's comment and pushing her back. 

"Wait a minute--" Chase started to say, but Celeste shook her head.

"If you don't look for him this very second, then you'll regret it!" Celeste scolded her, her voice so high in pitch that Chase almost laughed.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Chase pronounced slowly. "There's--more--to--life--than--boys--and--fashion--and--boys--and--makeup--and--boys--and--school--and--boys--and--following--rules. So _chill_."

"How can you say that?! I'll never forgive you--" Celeste cried.

"Look here Celes, I know you're concerned about me and all, but it's _my _life, and I think I know how I plan to handle it myself, thanks very much. And I say that I let Sirius do what he wants for five minutes and _not_ wrap him around my finger and check on him every 3.5 seconds, okay?" Chase interrupted, sitting down on a red velvet-lined chair and pouring herself a goblet of butterbeer. 

Celeste was now looking murderous, but had enough dignity not to say anything, thank God. 

There was silence between the four friends, and Remus suddenly wished that he hadn't decided to come over to Peter and stop dancing. 

After about a minute of tension, Celeste stood up. "Do you still want to dance, Remie?" she asked in a slightly petulant tone, which was obviously directed at Chase. Remus, who was beyond relieved for an alibi for dismissal, followed her back to the dance floor.

Chase was just sitting and sipping her drink, once in a while staring out at the dance floor as the minutes trickled by.

After about three more minutes, Peter cleared his throat. "Um--isn't Sirius supposed to be back by now? Four songs have already ended…" he informed Chase nervously.

Chase sighed and shook her head. "I know. Maybe Celeste was right--"

Just at that moment, Peter shrank back, and Chase, who faced him and couldn't see immediately what had made him recline, swiveled in her chair to see the cause of his fears.

As usual, her suspicions were confirmed. Snape, Avery and Nott were lumbering toward them, all with smug smiles on their faces. Peter gave a terrified squeak.

"Don't worry, Pete. We can handle them," Chase reassured him, but with little success.

Peter just squirmed as Snape reached their table. 

"What do you want, Snape?" Chase asked flatly, giving him a go-away-you-bloody-Slytherin-scum look. Snape merely laughed in his cold, mirthless tone.

"I think it is safe to confirm, Tarlise, that your knight in shining armor is nowhere in sight, and all he left for your protection is a cowardly rat? Granted that, there is more than one reason as to why he does not deserve a girl like you," Snape said softly.

"Don't you dare call Pete a rat, you knave. If anything else, he's twenty times worth more than you," Chase spat. Peter whimpered as Avery cracked his knuckles. He hid behind Chase.

Snape smirked. "Are you scared to admit it, Tarlise? Afraid to confess that your once beloved Black, your _star, _abandoned you for a slut like Maxine Eamon? Are you afraid to concede that you yourself allowed her to snag him and break your naïve beliefs?"

"What happens in my life is my own business, Snape," Chase said in even disdain, "and it has nothing to do with you. If I have a problem, I deal with it, and I don't go running to my enemies to point out what I already know."

"And you are too cowardly too revert it? Why aren't you stopping her? Do you trust Black so much that you allow yourself to be his loyal, innocent 'girlfriend' while he goes making out with another--"

"Leave, Snape," Chase snapped at him, her eyes flashing with anger. "Provoke me all you want, but never, _ever _refer to me as anybody's slave. I will never sink as low as that, at the same point that Avery and Nott are subjected to you." At this, Nott's and Avery's fists clenched tightly, but they said not a word. "And I decide on what I want and not want to do, so nobody orders me around. Not ever Sirius." 

"If you have a right, then so do I. And I don't think we're ready to leave, are we, boys?" he asked his cronies, who nodded simultaneously. He sat down on the chair opposite Chase. Chase gave him a death glare and stood up.

"You won't leave? Fine. C'mon, Pete, let's go." Peter, trembling from head to foot, followed at her heels. 

Snape stood up and stopped her, pulling her back painfully by the shoulder. Chase whirled around and slapped his hand away. 

"Then why did you send it?" he asked quietly.

"Sent _what_?" Chase spat, taking a step back and knocking into Peter, who was crouching behind her.

"This." Snape held out a scarlet envelope out at her. At first sight it looked like a Howler, but soon Chase noticed two overlapping hearts on the back cover, with the name Snape in silver ink on the first heart.

Chase just stared at it and glanced back at Snape with disgust. "You think I gave you that? Get over yourself, Snape! Stop groping for false illusions in your own little dream world--"

"Look," Snape hissed, thrusting the letter inside it into her hand. Chase opened it gingerly and stared back at her own writing in silver ink.

"You see? You cannot deny it, Tarlise, you were the one who sent that to me."

"I didn't write this," Chase said in disbelief. "What kind of spell did they cast on you? The Confundus Charm?"

"It _is _your handwriting," Snape insisted. And it, indeed, was. The _My Dearest Severus _on the top of the page were perfected to Chase's cursive penmanship.

"It still wasn't me. I am never going to get together with you, nor even go out on a false date with you, or ever dance with you and touch your slimy hand! Get out of my sight!" Chase flounced away, Peter trailing behind her. 

"Where's Black, Tarlise? You say the two of you are a couple. Where is he now? Is he going to save you? Is he here to defend you, like he did the last time? Is he here, or is he outside swapping spit with the school slut without a single thought about you inside his head?" Snape mocked her. 

For a moment, just one faint second-long moment, a flicker of uncertainty passed Chase's eyes, followed by betrayal replaced with resolve. "If Sirius did that, then he'd be as low as you, and a person like that is not worth my company. If you had half a brain, you'd get the point and leave me alone!" With that, Chase stalked toward the Great Hall's doors. Peter, who had enough sense to figure out that she was upset and wanted to be alone, alone as in even without Peter, reluctantly glanced back at Snape and his thugs. 

They didn't attack him, or mock him, or say anything that would have gotten the teachers' attention, but what was on Snape's face made Peter more terrified than everything they had done in the past.

Chase had walked out and a Slytherin had made her, the Queen of Cool, upset. Snape had won.

*****

Lily and James came back to the Hall after a round of you-know-what in a dark spot at the grounds (winky winky, and I don't mean the house elf ^_~), and both were considerably more lighthearted (and lightheaded) than they were at the beginning of the dance. Few couples remained on the dance area and they assumed that Rem and Celes and Sirius and Chase were somewhere outside.

"Should we look for them and do the same as what they did to us last Christmas, or should we call it a night and just go back to the dormitories?" Lily asked him as she surveyed the couples on the dance floor.

James grinned mischievously. "Definitely spying on them. I'm not the least bit tired, are you?"

"Nope," Lily answered, smiling slyly too. "I say we look for Sirius and Chase, since they're the ones who ridiculed us the most on that night…"

"Then we're probably going to need cameras," James plotted happily. _"Accio camera!" _His camera came whizzing, after ten long seconds, toward him, narrowly avoiding a couple dancing to a slow ballad. 

"Let's go!" 

The two of them slipped back outside, Lily using her Tracking Charm to find them easier. The charm involved letting her wand float on its own, leading them to a certain person that she chose to look for. 

"Here goes… _Pursueril!_" The wand floated two feet in front of her, glowing faintly for a few seconds before following gravity and falling to the soft grass.

"It didn't work," James said blankly. "Are you sure you did it right?"

"Of course I did it right, I've only done that charm fifty times everytime we want to play a prank on Snape and can't find him!" Lily snapped, picking up her wand. "Maybe they put some sort of spell on themselves so they _can't _be tracked…" 

"They can do that," James admitted. They walked in silence for a few moments before Lily stubbed her toe on an oak tree's root. 

"Ouch! Son of a--" Lily complained, cursing as she hopped around on the infernal spot. 

"Shhh, I think I hear something!" James said excitedly, pointing somewhere beyond the tree, about ten meters toward the lake.

"Oh, might as well, anything to get away from these bloody roots," Lily swore as they headed for the lake. 

A tree stood beside the lake, its trunk thick enough for two people to hide behind. Lily and James exchanged identical grins as a smooching noise rent the still air. Their grins widened as they recognized the soft voices as Remus's and Celeste's.

James put a finger to his lips and silently muttered, _"Reticence," _pointing the wand at himself. He then proceeded to doing the spell on Lily. Lily opened her mouth to say something to him, but no words came out of her mouth. She held a hand to her throat and tried to talk, but still, she could say nothing. James shook his head and beckoned her to follow him up the sturdy tree. 

Amazingly, the spell worked its wonders. No matter how many creaky branches they stepped on, not a single sound was heard, and the rustling of the leaves as they brushed past was only silence. Swiftly but surely, James guided Lily to one of the lower branches. They were now on the other side of the tree, and they could see Remus and Celeste cuddled up with each other. (Awww, isn't that sweeeet _) 

Lily smirked, and James performed the counter-charm, making sure that they couldn't be heard as they took off the spell. James counted from one to ten, waiting for the proper opportunity to pounce. He adjusted something on his camera, and without warning, he let himself fall off the branch, only his feet keeping him on it (he wrapped them around the branch) , and, upside-down, snapped a picture of Remus and Celeste kissing. (snicker). Remus pulled away from Celeste at once.

"What the hell--?"

"Hi," James said, still upside-down, grinning. "Pretty romantic out here, isn't it? Isn't the crescent moon simply lovely tonight?"

"Jamie, I'm coming down now," Lily called out, jumping nimbly from the branch and landing in front of the couple and smiling evilly. "I just have to say…Gotcha."

"What did you do that for?" Remus said furiously, blushing. "Why couldn't you just mind your own damned business?"

"Because we're terribly evil and prefer to embarrass and harass other typical people who are doing theirs?" James guessed.

"Because we're consistently annoying and enjoy torturing our friends?" was Lily's answer (question?).

"Whatever! Now, I hope you're not congratulating yourselves on you ingenious act since I know that you two were doing the exact same thing minutes ago, and I don't need a camera to imagine _that_ mental photograph! Why don't you go do what normal couples are supposed to do, or go harass Sirius and Chase, if you haven't already?"

"That's why we came to you. Seen them?" Lily asked. Remus shook his head. Celeste's mouth was suddenly a thin line.

"Okay, I'm sensing some insecurities here…spill it," James said, looking pointedly at Celeste. 

Celeste sighed. "Well, when we met up with Peter a little over thirty minutes ago, Chase came back alone and told us that Sirius was dancing with Maxine Eamon. I told her to go look for him, but you know her, stubborn and hard on her beliefs. So noooo, she didn't follow my advice, and who knows where Sirius is now."

"Maxine?" Lily said with a gasp. "She is, like, dangerous! She's had a crush on Sirius every since she first laid eyes on him, and I swear that girl could take advantage of all her physical attributes and shake her booty at just that extent where she could leave boys drooling--"

"Exactly! That's what I warned Chase, but she wouldn't listen to me! Now Maxine probably dragged him to a make-out place and she doesn't even know it!"

"But she wasn't there in the Great Hall, so she and Sirius must have gotten together!" James argued. He couldn't believe that his best friend could two-time a girl, more specifically his and Lily's friend too.

"Was Maxine there?" Remus asked.

Realization dawned on Lily. "No," she whispered.

There was the sound of footsteps running toward them, and they saw Peter, his face as white as chalk. 

"What? What is it, Pete?" James asked.

"I've been looking for you guys for half an hour!" he squeaked. "I was with Chase, and Snape and his two friends came, and they started picking on her--"

"Then that's no problem, Chase could handle anything. What really has you frightened, you silly twit, that can't possibly be it." Lily laughed softly, but there was a nervous note in her voice that betrayed her.

"Have you seen Sirius?" Peter asked in a panicked voice. 

"No, that's what we were all wondering. He must be with Chase," James reasoned. At the look of anxiety on Peter's face, he asked worriedly, "He _is _with Chase, isn't he?"

Peter shook his head. "No, Chase went back to the Tower half an hour ago. She was really upset," he said quietly.

"Then where's Sirius?" Celeste demanded.

Suddenly Lily gasped. 

"What?" everyone else said in unison, whirling around at her.

Lily, trembling, pointed. There, across the lake, was Sirius, and he was with a girl. But it wasn't Chase.

AN - Argh! 1st Quarterly Exams are up, you'd better review this crappy chapter since I spent half a day that was supposed to go to studying finishing this! Okay, so I am seriously considering changing it from Humor to Romance, but the fact is I'm not very good in writing romance fics… So, the only way to know is by your opinions and comments! And I am so sorry for this sucky chapter, and the way the plot changed, and how this Sirius problem came up… I'm going mad, aren't I? Anyway, review, please please please…


	17. The Trendy Twin Hits The Field

AN - Yes! Finally! I am happy to conclude that my first quarterly exams are much over and done with--(yawns from the crowd)--hey, if you're going to yawn, the least you could do is to do it properly (yawns are temporarily blocked behind hands) Good! Now, where was I? No need to tell me that I am _royally_ late--again--and I blame it all on my usual scapegoat, so don't complain. I've just got a few words to some reviewers (sorry for the space, but apologies are strictly needed ^_^;) I'm just gonna take a leaf from NicolaPadfoot's book…hope you don't mind, Nicola! Thanx 4 reviewing some o' d chapters--really flattering, but I'm sure yours is tons more brilliant. Everybody who loves the marauders should read her fic… Anyway, ppl not concerned w/ d notes below: Skip skip skip…

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PadfootBeatsAll: I'm really, really, really, _really_ sorry! (Are there too many reallys? Too much makes it sound insensitive…) Don't be mad…I actually respect gay people. But, you know, some, I repeat, _some (only) _of them here in my country exaggerate being gay a tad too much--like the way they talk, their mannerisms, their _walk--_that it's actually an insult to girls too. I'm sorry, I'm not saying your friends are like that! They must be decent people, and I know that not all like them are like the fags (sorry for the term) in our country! And I forgot to mention that at the end of those chapters with the offending jokes…so I admit, I am an insensitive, indifferent ditz sometimes… You're not mad, are you? Right? Right? I hope so, 'cause I don't make novel-long apologies like this in pretty much anything (but I _was _sincere in writing it, honest…) ^_^;

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Lunard: Silver? I forgot all about that too… Well anyways, thanks for pointing it out. I actually like silver, but it's Rem's problem that he doesn't…Okay, so that doesn't sound too relevant. Let's just assume that since Sirius and Chase are together and not Rem and Chase, then he doesn't have to put up much with her silver stuff. And…about the other silver-colored things I overlooked, can I change the rule for once and say that he's scared of them only when he's a wolf (stupid I know, but I'm too lazy to change those parts). Thanks!

And to all you other readers (if you're still interested, that is ^_^;): I assure you that Sirius is entirely innocent!!! He should be, he _is_ my fave character and all. But I can't pamper him too much, he ought to suffer a little every now and then (laughs evilly) Mwehehehehe… And skip the top if you're not the persons concerned. TY for tolerating the long messages (or did you?) And now… I give you-- Oh, wait! The stupid disclaimer first…

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Disclaimer: I disclaim…disclaimers. Who needs 'em?

Chapter 17: The Trendy Twin Hits the Field

Lily and Celeste burst into the girls' dormitory, only to find a dark room and a sleeping Chase. Lily strode to her bed in seconds and shook her roughly.

"Chase! Wake up!" she yelled. Chase just lolled her head to one side.

"GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED OR I SWEAR I'M GONNA HEX YOU!!!" she shouted louder in Chase's ear. Chase woke with a start.

"Oh, fuck off, Lil," Chase groaned, turning over and starting to go back to sleep.

"NO! This is important, Chase, you _have_ to wake up!" Celeste joined in, pulling Chase into a sitting position using her arms.

"Will you two bloody hell shut up? Some people are trying to get some well-deserved sleep around here…" Chase said sleepily.

"But you have to wake up--" Lily started furiously.

"In the morning," Chase finished. "Go to sleep, lunatics."

"SIRIUS BLACK IS ON THE OTHER END OF THE LAKE MAKING OUT WITH MAXINE EAMON!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs, emphasizing her exclamation by causing a conjured bucket with water to fall on Chase. _If that doesn't wake her, I'm going to push her out the window, _she decided.

"Just tell me whatever you have to say tomorrow…" Chase answered, half asleep. 

Lily stamped her foot irritably and raised her wand to do another spell. 

"Wait! Let her rest," Celeste shouted, pulling down Lily's wand hand.

"Well, look at you. One minute you're desperate for her to find out who the slut who stole her boyfriend is, next you want to leave her be," Lily said sarcastically. "Hypocrite," she added under her breath.

Celeste rolled her eyes, despite her paler-than-usual complexion. "If she sees them, she'll just get worse. I say we tell those two off and relate the whole cursed story to her when she's fully awake--"

"But that'll only make her more devastated!" Lily argued. "And maybe she'll even deny it and refuse to believe us and cling to the illusion that Sirius didn't really cheat on her--"

"Do you think she's that stupid? You've known her for more than three years already, and I know she's going to take thins sensibly. Let her be, Lil, and we'll murder Maxine to a bloody pulp!" Celeste interjected in the same harsh tone. She opened Chase's trunk and took out her broomstick. "We'll go on this. One of us has to go up to the boys' dormitory and inform the others--"

"Obviously I'm the only option, right?" Lily said, and left the room hurriedly. 

Celeste sighed and looked at the tranquil expression on her twin's face. How long would that last after she found out what happened? 

She shook her head, opening the window wide and staring off into the dark, distant lake. She couldn't make out if the two were still there.

"C'mon!" Lily and James appeared in front of her on James's broom. "They're going to take the two brooms--Rem and Pete'll go on Sirius's."

"Isn't it wrong to use other people's stuff without asking for permission?" Celeste asked anxiously, trying to peer out into the light fog that had suddenly surrounded the lake.

Lily snorted. "Yeah, right. Like you're the angel of goodwill. Weren't _you _the one who just said that you were going to use Chase's broomstick?"

Celeste ignored her comment, retrieving Chase's broom and clambering out the window. 

"Easy there, d'you want to land on thin air?" James warned. 

Celeste flipped her uncooperative long hair back against the wind. "I'm not the sister of a Quidditch star for nothing, you know," she said haughtily, and swung with graceful ease onto Chase's broomstick. The three took off, and to James's and Lily's amazement, she _could _fly well.

"Have you ever considered becoming a member of the Quidditch Team?" James asked her.

Celeste laughed lightly. "Maybe a couple of years ago, but after all that Chase had told me about five-hour practices three times a week and playing in the rain and falling into wet, splattering _mud _when someone's not careful in a match--" she shuddered slightly. "Let's just say I'm not totally into it."

James grinned. "Ah, yes. Ever the prissy one, are you?"

"I wouldn't say _that,_" Celeste defied, zooming ahead of them and expertly avoiding a flock of birds.

"Where're Rem and Pete, anyways?" Lily asked over James's shoulder. 

"I s'pose Rem had to coax Pete onto the broom; you know how he hates flying," James remarked, peering off into the not-so-distant Gryffindor Tower. "They should be--oh, here they come now."

Remus was steering Sirius's broom, reassuring nonstop a very distressed Peter Pettigrew. Peter's face was paler than the moon itself; it's a crescent moon, mind you, so Remus is safe…^_^

"C'mon, Pete, just imagine that your feet are hovering two feet off the ground--" Remus was heard saying as he neared them.

"B-but--even that makes me q-queasy, I'm an aerophobic," Peter stuttered when they finally reached the other three.

"_Acro_phobic," Celeste corrected Peter, who glanced down at the very minute trees and the little ants that were the couples walking in the moonlight. His pale face became a nasty shade of green.

"Don't look down, then, if you're so scared," Lily said kindly to him. "Go lower, you guys, there's a pair of eyes down there that needs tearing out--"

"Am I right in assuming that you are talking about Maxine Eamon?" Remus asked, squinting down at the obscure surroundings.

"Well, of course I am, I'd pick her over Siri, wouldn't you?" Lily said as they landed on a nice patch of slightly damp grass.

"Yeah, but anybody who betrays my sis is no friend of mine," Celeste growled.

"Isn't that sweet? The loving sister front--when did you start pulling _that_ act?" Lily said sarcastically. They set aside their brooms behind a tree and made their way through the two-feet-high vegetation.

James peered closely at the tall reeds. "They must be around here somewhere," he told them. "Shoe imprints on the grass and all that, and we landed about fifty feet from where they actually were twenty minutes ago."

"Did we take that long?" Peter squeaked as he scrambled around. He was only slightly taller than the weeds… (talk about putting a person's height down…)

"I think I can see someone over there!" Remus called from about ten feet away. Somehow he had managed to walk that far without tripping over a nice, slimy bog like the one Peter had sunk into.

The others struggled toward him, Lily cursing all the way when she stepped on something squishy; Celeste complaining loudly that her shoes would be totally ruined after all this was over. Peter sunk down in his second bog and James skipped nimbly through the greenery, which, of course, caused splashes of mud and bits of grass to come into contact with Peter's face, who was unfortunately behind him.

"Oops, sorry, Pete," James apologized, stopping to repair the damage he had done.

"That's okay," Peter said automatically.

"Damn bogs," Lily cursed.

"Do you know how much these sandals cost?" Celeste whined.

"Would you guys hurry up?!" Remus shouted.

Overall, they reached him in very grumpy spirits (except James).

Remus grinned. "Not looking like a happy bunch, are you?"

"Shut up, you lycanthropic…werewolf," Lily retorted, unable to form a fully coherent thought with the mood she was in.

"Yeah, don't rub in the fact that any phase of the moon affects your already superhuman strength," Peter added. 

"So where are they?" James asked him.

Remus pointed the direction to them again, to a spot where only opaque fog was floating around.

"There," he said simply.

"There where?" Lily inquired gloomily.

"There there," Remus repeated, rolling his eyes.

Peter muttered something that sounded like, "Brighter eyes too."

"Let's go!" James half-shouted brightly. Groans replied.

And so, with slow trudging (from the two girls and the smallest friend) and much whining, the troop reached the said destination.

Maxine had disappeared.

*****

Remus ran straight to Sirius, who was staring dazedly off into space. 

"Are you okay, Sirius?" Remus asked him.

No reply. The others reached the two friends, James with a worried look on his face.

"Where's that filthy sl--" Celeste started furiously, but James held up a hand. 

"Something's wrong with him," he said anxiously as he shook Sirius on the shoulders. Sirius's eyes were still glazed over.

"Did Maxine give him some kind of drug or something?" Lily asked, starting to get concerned herself.

"I don't care, she's still too much of a weasel and a coward to even have the decency to face us head-on," Celeste said fiercely. 

Peter crept up slowly behind them, his face unusually grave. "I think it's a Love Potion," he suggested, barely more than a whisper.

Four heads whirled around at his statement. "A what?" Lily exclaimed.

Remus cleared his throat. "I think he said, Love P--"

"I _know _what he said," Lily snapped. "Are you sure, Pete?" she asked in a softer voice as she turned back at Peter.

"Reasonably sure," Peter said in a shaky voice. "My mum always tells me those kind of stories…"

On another side, Remus and James were conversing in low voices about what Peter just informed them.

"It must be, what with the expression on his face--" James was saying.

"What if it's a really potent kind, the one that Ridgewood told us lasted several years?" Remus asked in a troubled tone.

"We've got to do something about this, and quick," James said. He dragged Sirius up, as he still didn't make any motion. 

__

"Stupefy!" Celeste shouted, and Sirius dropped down again.

"What'd you do that for?" James asked irritably.

"It'll be easier this way than having to carry him back to the Tower," Celeste shot back, waving her wand a second time to make Sirius float in midair. 

Lily stepped next to her as well. _"Accio broomsticks!" _she said. Seconds later they were once again mounting their brooms, Celeste manipulating Sirius's movements with her wand as she flew. None of them spoke as they headed back to the Tower. What were they going to do to reverse a strong potion that could alter their friend completely?

Once back in the boys' dormitory, all of them thankful that Martin was nowhere to be seen, James instructed Peter and Celeste to go down to the library and get all the books they could find on Love Potions and counter-concoctions. The three remaining conscious friends sat down on one of the beds.

__

"Ennervate," Remus said. Sirius suddenly came to, standing up straight and looking around.

When he saw his friends and their grim facial expressions, he looked confused. "What happened to you?" 

They exchanged relieved glances. At least the potion didn't affect his memory. Well…not _all _of it…

"Have you any idea what you just did in the last hour?" Remus asked him.

Sirius shook his head. "No--I mean, wait, I went down to the lake…"

"Do you remember what you did there?" James demanded.

"Nope," Sirius answered, this time more firmly.

"Don't you have any recollection who _with_?" Lily asked in the angriest voice of all.

"What are you three babbling about?" Sirius asked them, annoyed. "Is this some kind of joke, or did you do something to jar my memory?"

The four were silent for a while. After some time, Lily spoke up in a soft voice.

"Sirius, who do you love most in the world?" 

A flicker of recognition lit up in Sirius's eyes. "Maxine Eamon!" . 

"WHAT?!!!" a voice outside exclaimed in outrage. Celeste barged in, her eyes blazing. Peter trailed after her, carrying books that when put on top of one another appeared taller than he was. "Say that again!" Celeste shouted, pointing her wand at him.

"Celeste, calm down!" Lily scolded her, confiscating her wand before she could do any real damage. "Are you serious?" she asked Sirius.

"'Course I am, stupid. Know any other Sirius?" Sirius answered sardonically.

Peter started flipping frantically through a book. Remus joined him, scanning through the table of contents of _Love Potions: Desire or Deceit? _

"D'you know who Chase is?" James continued to interrogate him. 

"Which Chase?" Sirius asked back wearily.

"Chase Tarlise," Celeste replied for James, folding her arms across her chest and staring Sirius down threateningly.

"Oh!" Sirius said. "Yeah, I know her. She's your twin, right? I don't really know that much about her, except that she's Lil's best friend--"

"Here it is!" Remus announced, cutting off Sirius's sentence. _"Love Potions ranging from the average strength--_this means one that usually lasts for a week or two--_to extremely powerful, alter the drinker's memory for the whole of the designated time he/she receives it. One of the potion's main ingredients, a leaf from the rare _Oblivainette _plant, reduces the recollection of past and/or current lovers to nothing, and might even completely erase it from his/her mind for years in residue," _Remus read aloud.

"Reduce his memory?" Lily gasped. "Then that means that he _has _completely forgotten about Chase!"

"Love Potions! What'd you bring them for, Pete, think we can use it on Snape and lure him to fall in love with someone really ugly?" Sirius asked, clapping Peter on the back.

Remus was reading the page more closely. "Oh yeah--_Normally, the drinker does not lose other retrospects not concerning love and hate, as long as he/she has no deep connection with certain persons. He/she might, however, lose memory of family and other close relatives that he is particularly open to."_

"We wouldn't have any problem concerning his forgetting Cas, then," James said with a smirk.

"At least it doesn't say that he'll forget his _friends,_" Lily pointed out in a relieved voice. She looked at her watch. "Okay…this is what we'll do. Sirius, get some sleep, and stay away from Ravenclaw territory--"

"Maxine's a Ravenclaw," Sirius said, his eyes sparkling. 

"Look, just go to bed, okay? I don't care if you're not sleepy, I'll cast a spell on you if you don't do what I say right now," Lily threatened. 

"Fine, fine, Miss I-think-I'm-the-boss-of-the-world," Sirius grumbled, knowing perfectly well that when Lily got like that, she usually meant what she said. 

Celeste watched him get into bed, her eyes dark. 

"Rem, you're the best with books, why don't you and Celes search for the cure? It's bound to be somewhere around there," Lily said. 

"What if Chase wakes up tomorrow, and finds out what Maxine did?" Peter asked timidly, voicing the question that everybody dreaded--especially Celeste.

For once Lily didn't have an answer. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," she said evenly after a pause. "Right now we've got to find counter-potions. If there isn't any, we'll look for a Hate Potion and make him drink it--"

"But that won't make him remember Chase either," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's better than having to put up with seeing him with Maxine all the time," Lily retorted.

James, who had followed Peter's lead and read through a thick book, waved his hand at them to get their attention. "Um, guys? I think you should read this."

The four closed in on the book, reading what Remus was pointing out.

__

Most powerful Love Potions are almost foolproof; Hatred Potions, Memory Charms, and other enchantments used to attempt recovery are useless. The only known cure for this is the counter-brew, Raencore Tontive Impil, an advanced potion that certain professional chemists have difficulty making. It involves the key ingredient of the exact counterpart of the Oblivainette plant--the Raecadloran. _It restores the drinker's memory fully to how it was before he/she drank the potion._

Underneath were several long paragraphs on the _Raecadloran's _properties and where it could be found.

"Mostly in Asian countries, then," Celeste said matter-of-factly. _"Mainland China, Mongolia, Taiwan and South Korea in the east; Cambodia and Laos, southeast; Bangladesh and the Himalayan Kingdoms in the south; and Azerbaijan, Tajikistan and Kazakhstan in the north."_

"Azherbai--what?" James asked, baffled. 

"_A_zer_baijan," _responded Celeste peevishly.

"Whatever," James stated. "So how _do _we get hold of that plant? It's not like you can order them by the bundle in the local Apothecary," he pointed out. "They'd probably ask you what you're going to use it for, and we can't exactly find a way to be discreet about explaining why we need it."

"I dunno, I think mum's got a third cousin in Indonesia," Peter said thoughtfully. 

"Indonesia's not on the list, Pete," Celeste said in an exasperated voice.

"No, but he's in the import-export business in Southeast Asia," Peter argued. "Mostly small magical creatures, but I think he's coming by Kampuchea sometime this month, Mum said--"

"What's that?" James asked.

"Kampuchea is another name for Cambodia, James," Lily explained. 

"I'll write to my third-uncle and ask him…he might know something about magical plants," Peter continued. 

"Well, anything for a plan," Remus said. "Listen--Pete, you stay here and write your letter, keep an eye on Sirius while you're at it. We'll try to gather what we can to make the potion, ordinary stuff like dragon scales and that kind of stuff."

"We can take that passage on the fourth floor to get inside the apothecary," James suggested. He tore a page from the book, containing the longest list of ingredients they had ever seen.

"It's got to be complicated to make this…" Celeste said worriedly. "Sirius's the brain for Potions, how're we supposed to make something this hard without him?"

"He can still help," Remus said, slamming the book shut. "It says here that as long as Maxine isn't in his peripheral vision, he's going to act like his normal self."

"So what are we supposed to do to him, lock him up until the potion's finished?" Celeste demanded.

"No, what we've got to figure out now is how to explain this to Chase--"

"Explain what?" 

*****

Lily whipped around; Celeste went pale again. "Errr--what're you doing here, Chase?" Celeste stammered. 

Chase yawned. "Like you weren't making noise the same decibel as a spaceship taking off--"

"How'd you know about spaceships?" Lily asked, amazed at how a pureblood witch could know that much about Muggle technology.

"I take Muggle Studies, remember?" Chase reminded. "So what were y'all up to, anyways?" 

"Er--we were just--"

"Making a potion!" Remus said aloud.

"Yeah, we were--I mean, no, we're not!" Lily agreed (and disagreed) glaring at Remus. "Actually, we were just--"

"_Planning_ to make a potion," James supplied. "See, we all had brilliant ideas on which potion to use on the Hallowed Slytherins--" Chase smirked at that-- "but we all argued on which was best. That's why we've been making all that racket," he lied in a (thankfully) truthful-sounding tone.

"Like what?" Chase asked with interest. She had never done pranks before, no matter how inclined she was, because of the burden of having a goody-two-shoes, straightlaced twin who stuck to her like glue whenever she felt like getting into mischief. (Whatta boring life…) Besides, she had only started to hang around with the marauders this school year.

"Like--like the one Remus thought up, where the drinker's ears stretch as large as an elephants and--and maggots come out of them whenever he sneezes," James racked up.

"Cool," Remus and Peter said in unison.

"I thought it was your idea," Chase told him.

"Oh, yeah! But--uh--I hadn't discussed that part much yet, I was going into a detailed explanation of the Sneezing Charm," Remus explained quickly. "You know, so that the potion won't go to waste--unless Snape has a real cold to go with it."

"Ookay," Chase said, rolling her eyes. 

"Um, we're pretty much done with the preparations anyway," Celeste piped up. "We were just getting ready to turn in--"

"We can deal with this tomorrow, since everybody would want to lie in for staying up so late tonigh--today," Lily added, suddenly remembering that it was almost four.

"But you just said that you were still deciding whose idea to carry out," Chase pointed out. 

"We're going to use Rem's idea, right?" Peter said. "It's a quick potion and has really great…effects, so we could do it in the least possible time--"

"And we'd better go to sleep now, so, bye," James announced, practically pushing Chase out the door. Lily and Celeste followed hastily, trying to make it look that they were booted out too. The door slammed shut behind them. "Night," came the muffled voice of Remus from inside.

Celeste and Lily skipped down the boys' staircase, Chase following closely behind. "Okay, what are you guys not telling me?" she asked suddenly as they reached the bottom step, causing Lily to trip.

"What made you theorize?" Lily said lightly, but the abrupt panic in her voice betrayed her.

"The fact that you've never stringed that many words together about a prank," Chase replied, pointedly staring at her sister.

Lily forced a laugh. "Celeste? You know her, when love is in the air, she gets a little…ditzy." Celeste scowled.

"Point taken," Chase said, the left corner of her mouth drawing up into a smirk, a dimple popping out of her cheek. "But I stand before what I said previously…"

They had reached their dormitory. Neither Kylie nor Sylvia had returned yet, for which Lily and Celeste were grateful. Celeste headed straight for the shower, averting her eyes from Chase's quizzical stare. 

That left Lily to do the dirty work. _Damn you, Celes, _Lily thought with dread. But killing Celeste was certainly an easier thing to do than what she had to tell her friend.

"Spill it," Chase said as she climbed back into bed. "You know you can't hold out long, Lil, 'cause sooner or later I'll see right through you."

Lily took a deep breath. "Okay, here it is. We were with Rem and Celes beside the lake when Peter came and told us you'd slept early, and he was saying something about a showdown with Snape--"

"And what?" Chase prompted. "That's not even what you want to tell me, right?" 

Leave it to Chase to cut through the bull. "Look, do I have to spell it out?" Lily blurted out. "I mean, you already know."

Chase was silent.

Lily took another deep breath, then exhaled yoga style, taking her time in looking back up at Chase's eyes. "Fine, this is it. Maxine made Sirius drink a Love Potion, and the guys found out that--that--" Lily couldn't say the words out loud.

"That what?" 

"That it's the kind that lasts for a lot of years. Maxine has complete control over him."

*****

The next day proved far worse than what Chase had experienced. Snape had catcalled all the way from across the Great Hall, saying something about how Chase couldn't even hold on to a guy for two months. Chase finally cracked and threw a Japanese Curse at him, which made Snape speak Niponggo (spelling right?), and caused Ridgewood to take forty points from Gryffindor. Twenty points at first for doing magic outside class, and twenty more for refusing to revert Snape to his normal state. She stalked out of the Hall, not bothering to face Maxine and Sirius's cozy little breakfast.

"Cool, Chase," Lily exclaimed as the three girls left the Hall.

"Forty points!" Celeste screeched.

"Shut up, Celeste," Chase sighed.

"How many points have you deducted from Gryffindor this year?" Celeste ranted behind her, puffing to catch up. "You'll see when I tell mom about this, she'll blow her top when she finds out--"

Chase didn't respond, tuning out of one of her sister's discipline lectures. She might as well have had her own mother following her around 24/7, picking at her for doing a little magic here and there and not learning how to transfigure things right. But she knew…that Celeste was only being extra-annoying today because Celeste wanted her to forget, even for a moment, about what Lily had proclaimed only hours ago. Chase could see right through her though. Too bad she always could.

"Jeez, Celes, give her a break, everyone's already done it to Snape more than a million times," Lily interrupted her.

"_Every_one?" Celeste shot back, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Everyone in our gang, then," Lily said. "Except you, of course. Why can't you learn to let loose and have a little mischief to make your dull goody-goody life something much more interesting to talk about--"

"I don't think having failing behavioral reports will earn me much respect when we get our 25th Hogwarts Alumni Reunion," Celeste bickered.

"I don't think boring other batch mates to death with telling them about how life as a former keen rule-following Head Girl makes the rest of it enriching is much to talk about either," Lily retorted sarcastically. 

"Right. Storytelling to your future children of how you saw Wilkes' flowery boxers when you and the others wrestled with them the other day must be really fulfilling," Celeste countered right back.

Lily laughed. "Better than making them _really _fall asleep because all their mother could tell them about her school experiences was being a good, well-behaved girl," she teased.

"Oh, shut up," Celeste said.

"That's what I said ages ago," Chase spoke up, rolling her eyes.

__

At least she's capable_ of rolling her eyes, _Lily thought with relief. She knew she could trust Chase to push her rotten feelings aside whenever it wasn't needed (and wanted), which was pretty much every second of the day. The problem with it was that it always drained any girl of all her energy by the end of the day, and that left them with hours upon hours of well deserved sobs and bawls. 

"Hey, why don't we get on with that potion that the others were talking about yesterday?" Lily continued brightly after a short pause. 

"I thought you just made that up as an excuse from telling me that you were supposed to make the Raencore Tontive Impil or whatever you call that counter-potion," Chase answered matter-of-factly.

__

Leave it to Chase to read our faces clearer than an open book, Celeste and Lily both mused at her answer.

"Ookay, so we were going to. But we're doing it for you, right? So you don't need to worry, we'll have the real Sirius back in no time, and Maxine will be sorry she ever messed with a Tarlise's boyfriend," Celeste said, her tone as hard as her eyes, which were burning with contempt and fierce protectiveness. 

"Well, at least I know that there're still people behind me all the way," Chase said sardonically. "I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have a nuisance of a twin and an articulately conniving best friend with me all the time."

Lily whacked her with her paperback book. "You should be lucky I wasn't carrying one of those Love Potion books we're researching," she threatened.

"Like you'd ever do that to me," Chase said, her eyes sparkling, however weak it was. It was enough for the two. 

"You better not mope around until dawn once this day is over," Celeste said cheerfully.

Chase snorted. "Maybe if you were the case, sister love, but I'm not exactly your carbon copy," she fired back. "We might be identical but contrary to your annoyingly insistent beliefs, I'll never be exactly like you."

"Come on, you can't be totally indifferent," Lily chided. "Deep down there, you're hurting like a betrayed, backstabbed girl--"

"Which she is," Celeste cut in.

"Thanks for reminding," Chase said. 

"See? You _are _hurt," Lily said triumphantly.

"Then what do you want me to do, beg at his feet to remember me?" Chase rebutted irritably. "Murder Maxine so he wouldn't have anybody to fall in love with anymore? If I cry my eyes out, d'you think that'll bring him back?"

"I-I guess not," Celeste said softly, a little taken aback with Chase's declamation.

Lily suddenly chuckled. "But it would be funny to picture the mental image, though," she said wickedly. Celeste burst out laughing.

"I'm so glad I have friends like you," Chase sighed as they reached the Fat Lady's portrait.

*****

Quidditch practice, Wednesday. The Quidditch Cup match against Ravenclaw was fast approaching. 

In the locker room, Mark was pacing furiously. "Okay, then. We've been practicing our hearts out--"

"Asses off," James corrected.

"Whichever," Mark continued, glaring at James's rude language. "That's why we know that _we're going to win. _Gryffindor has sustained the Quidditch Cup in their House for 158 times now, and this could be the 159th if y'all take this seriously--"

"Take it the way I would, that's what he meant," Sirius interrupted annoyingly.

"As I was saying," Mark said again, giving Sirius the same withering look he had given James; "This time is as good as any. Gryffindor has always won the glory of the Quidditch Cup for generations past, it's practically tradition." He gave all of them a clear stare that meant that anyone who dared break the tradition would pay dearly in their turn.

"Is that all, then?" Keith asked in a bored voice, jumping off his seat. "We're not going to sit here all day and practice bench warming, are we?"

Mark sighed. "Fine then, and you'd better kick--"

"Butt," James said cheerfully.

"What is it with you and words related to bottoms?" Chase asked him on their way out of the locker room.

"Nothing," James said before taking off into the air. Chase shrugged, swung onto her own broomstick and flew off too, catching the Quaffle that Keith long-passed to her. 

The practice went fairly well, except toward the end of it. 

"Mark, here!!!" Keith yelled, passing the red ball to Mark. It fell halfway toward him.

"You call that a pass?" James howled, catching the Snitch for about the forty-third time in two hours.

"Shut up," Keith glowered at him.

Chase retrieved the Quaffle, rolling over in midair with her hands off the broom. Sirius bumped into her as he swung at a Bludger. 

"Oh, sorry," Sirius apologized sincerely, but not in…_that way._

"Whatever," Chase muttered in what James caught as an indifferent tone. She dived to regain the scarlet ball, catching it almost only six feet from the ground.

James stared after her, the Snitch still in his closed fist. Was Chase genuinely _affected _by Maxine's dirty trick?

__

Of course she is, his inner voice chided. _She's his girlfriend, idiot. Even Chase "I-don't-care-hell-about-you" Tarlise has feelings, too. _James shook his head at his own silliness. Poor Chase. He knew that if that had happened to him…he didn't even know how to handle it. But Chase was still in control--like she always was. How on earth could she pull that off?

"Hey, Potter! Give the Snitch another go!" he heard Mark's bossier-than-usual voice shouting as he whizzed past, throwing a pass to Keith. 

James let go of the Snitch and counted to twenty, bolting off again and thinking. Cross the bridge when you get to it…wasn't that what Lily said just a few nights ago? Chase had crossed that bridge--or was at least halfway through it. And when they made Sirius drink that potion, everything would be back to--

A scream pierced through his thoughts, cutting them short. He swung around to see who had done it and as he turned, the Snitch rammed into his face. "Ow!" he snatched it up, glaring at the cursed walnut-sized ball. "What d'you think you are, a Bludger?" he muttered angrily, but he came closer to the rest of the team, who looked like they were on their way to land.

"What's wrong?" Erin asked.

"Who screamed?" Keith said at the same time. They both saw Mark sitting next to a pale-faced Dione, whose elbow was bleeding…

"That's disgusting…look, the bone's sticking out," Chase piped up as she landed, James within hearing range. 

Dione let out an agonized shriek. Erin flinched as her eyes landed on the wound and looked away.

"Sorry," Chase said quickly when Mark shot her a look. "Sorry, but it really does look gross, with all that blood flowing out--"

"Stop it, just stop it!" Dione cried in a weak voice, barely managing to glare at Chase. 

"I'll bring her to the hospital wing," Mark announced. "Now, no funny stuff when I'm gone for a bit, 'specially you, Sirius." He and Dione walked off, both stumbling as they made their way to the exits.

"Well, it _was _gross, you know," Chase said as soon as Mark was out of earshot. 

"Yeah, who did that to her anyway?" Keith asked, looking around at them, his eyes finally landing on Sirius, who had a sheepish expression on his face.

"I did. It was purely an accident," Sirius said innocently, but James only laughed. 

"Accident in Sirius's vocabulary equals intentional mishap," he chuckled.

"Does not," Sirius protested. "I just hit that Bludger and she was stupid enough to fly near it, so naturally the ball would decide to crash into her." 

"It looked pretty bad, though," Erin pointed out. "Especially with the game so near. I'm guessing she's going to be in there for a few days--"

She stopped midsentence as Mark came back, looking like the worry in his face had tripled. 

"What's the scoop?" Keith asked him as he approached.

"We're done for," Mark said anxiously, shaking his head. "Madame Pomfrey said that Dione needed to stay in the hospital wing until Sunday--"

"But the game's on Saturday," Sirius interjected.

"That's just it. We need to find a replacement within two and a half days, and we need to train that person! How can we manage that in that allotted time?" Mark said hysterically.

"Okay, calm down. We all just need to spread out and ask people who we think are talented enough to substitute to come here at some time later and pick the best one," Erin reasoned.

"I'll ask all the third years," Keith volunteered. "Some of the boys in my dormitory are pretty good, but I don't know if they're up to it."

"Go on and ask them, then," Mark said. "Okay…Chase, you better be the one to ask the fourth years--wait, there isn't anyone left to ask, is there? Go and ask the second years, too… or maybe Remus Lupin could fill in the slot--"

"He can't, he was drained last night because he's a--" Sirius started to say, but James clapped a hand to his mouth.

"What happened to him?" Keith asked.

"He's a somnambulist," James invented quickly. 

"A _what?_"

"A person who walks in his sleep," Chase supplied.

"Yeah, that's what he is. We brought him to Madame Pomfrey yesterday, and he's been at it for a week already. Every night he goes out of the tower and does strenuous things that we still don't know exactly what, and the professors wouldn't let us keep an eye on him." James looked like he was already running out of stuff to say.

"Oh," Mark said. "Well then, somebody must still have potential," he remarked. "Erin, you ask the sixth years, and James, go to the fifth," he assigned. "I'll handle the other seventh years. Be quick, though, and round up them up here in thirty minutes."

"What about me?" Sirius asked.

Mark glowered at him. "_You_ will keep out of our way until you learn how to hit a Bludger during practice. I'll have to launch a petition to the teachers and ask them if we can bewitch some training dummies during practices."

Sirius scowled. 

"C'mon, Sirius, don't look so down. We can ask the fifth years together, you can charm all those girls who keep staring at you in the Great Hall." The two of them headed out together.

"Well, I'd better be off, too," Erin said, swinging her broomstick over her shoulder and following the two marauders. 

Chase swung onto her broom. "The way our luck is going, we probably won't find a decent Beater to replace her," she commented before taking off. 

*****

Thirty-five minutes later they had rounded up about ten people. Two eager second years, sixth years and seventh years, one third year and three fifth years. Mark had lined them up by year level and was calling out instructions and handing them school broomsticks.

"Right, I _know _this broom is slow, Raghnall, do a Speed Charm on it if you're as big a brain as you keep saying you are. Here's yours, Jeanette, and mount it right, you've been doing it wrong since first year…" As he moved on to the next person in line, the students he'd finished with scowled and held up rude signs at his back, pretending to look innocent when he glanced back.

"Good luck! Your first dose of Quidditch hell is now in session," Sirius catcalled with a manic grin as he chased after a Bludger. He had accidentally released it too soon, and Mark had exploded at him to catch it. That wasn't exactly easy, since his normal reflex action was hitting it as hard as he could in the opposite direction. Which was still the case that day.

"OI!!! Catch it, not hit it, you doltish dunce!" James yelled at him, almost colliding with the Bludger when he stretched his hand to catch the Snitch.

"Non-evading nincompoop!" Sirius shot back.

"Insipid imbecile!"

"Humdrum halfwit!"

"Brainless bungler!"

"Mindless moron!"

"Dense dimwit!"

"Lamebrained lunatic!"

"Crazed conniver!"

"Fatuous flake!"

"Loony lout!"

"Seeker simpleton!"

"Booby Beater!"

"Nonsensical numsku--

"Okay. You're BOTH bungler blockheads! So shut up!!!" Chase interrupted.

James grinned. "Care to join us, Chase-er? We can call you Cynical C--wait, I can't think of anything anymore…"

"That's because you're an asinine albatross," Sirius piped up.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're a catastrophic clod," James fired back.

" An adjective to describe you would best be 'irrational idiot'," Sirius retorted.

"I'm the idiot? Well, who else other than you would think that the word 'albatross' is a synonym of 'nitwit'?"

"A ridiculous rampant," Sirius answered.

"That isn't one either."

"Okay then, you," Sirius tried again, grinning.

"Nope, you're stupider than I thought."

"No? Then it's gotta be James _Forsythe _Potter," he said happily.

Chase snickered. 

"Don't call me that, Sirius _Clunies _Black," James shot back.

"Forsythe Potter. Haha, maybe the teachers would get a kick out of calling you that in the halls. 'Forsythe! Detention!'" He mimicked in a high-pitched tone that very closely resembled Professor McGonagall's.

"Right. Then it'll just backfire on you when I tell them too. 'And you'd better clean the Slytherin toilets to_night_, Clunies, the stench there is almost unbearable!'," James said, scrunching his face in a ludicrous expression that matched Apollyon Pringle. Clunies laughed his head off.

"I don't know why I bother with you two," Chase sighed, turning to leave.

"Don't leave yet, _Selena,_" James said between sniggers.

"Yeah, Forsythe has some more stories to tell!" Sirius added with a laugh.

"I do believe Selena is a much more attractive name than Forsythe or Clunies, James Potter," Chase countered, swinging around.

"It's Forsythe!" Sirius called after her as she zoomed back to solid ground.

"Miserable miscreants," Chase muttered. But she smiled. And for James, that was enough.

*****

"NO!!! You're supposed to hit it the other way, not like that! Guiseppe, you're holding the club upside-down! What are you two doing?! This isn't Muggle baseball, it's Quidditch!!!"

Chase had landed near Mark, who looked a tad bit more than crazed. "Big problems?" she asked with a sardonic smile.

"I'd say mega-size," Mark admitted, sitting down on his frozen-in-midair broomstick. "So far, none of them have achieved the standards of a decent Beater, not even as good as Sirius. I don't know what we're going to do…we might as well just hand the Cup to the Ravenclaws."

"Don't quit yet," Chase said. "Still, someone's coming. I asked her, but she's gonna take a while…" She gazed toward the exit, shielding her eyes with one hand. "Wait, my sister's coming. What time is it anyway? You said you were going to dismiss us at lunchtime."

Mark exhaled. "I know. Why don't you go on, then, and take your bantering bickerers with you." 

Celeste came up to Chase. "Hey, sis! Sorry I'm late…where are James and Sirius?"

Chase pointed upward. "Somewhere there, exchanging same first-letter two-worded insults," she said matter-of-factly.

Celeste laughed. "That's that, then. Have you found a substitute player yet?" 

"No, and if there aren't any, I'm going to postpone the game," Mark said.

Chase raised her eyebrows at her sister. "Rough day, his," she explained. She handed her broomstick to Celeste.

"Can't argue with that," Celeste chuckled lightly, swinging onto the broom. "Where to, O Quidditch star?"

"Just a sec," Chase held up an index finger. "Yo Keith! Get your third year butt down here!" Chase yelled. Seconds later Keith swooped down on them. 

"You're starting to sound like James did," Keith said irritably, but dismounted and handed his broom to Chase anyway.

"What are you doing?" Mark said exasperatedly. "If you brought your sister her just to play air tag, then--"

"Oh, we're not going to play something as boring as _that_," Celeste said, examining her bloodred nail polish. "Right, sis?"

"Yep," Chase said, taking off into the air and soaring high enough to catch the passing Quaffle. As Celeste caught up, she suddenly threw the ball at Raghnall's head, causing him to throw back the club he was holding, which Chase caught deftly and swung at the Bludger pelting towards her. The Bludger streaked about half a kilometer away before regaining its composure.

"Not bad for a Chaser," Celeste called, catching the Quaffle just as Raghnall swore loudly. 

"Which bloody bastard did that?!" he shouted.

"Me," Chase said from above with a smirk. Raghnall blushed. He was one of many admirers of Chase. "Sorry."

"Oh, it's okay," Raghnall stammered. "I-it didn't hurt that much--"

But Chase had already gone, monitoring Celeste. The other substitute-hopefuls and regular players landed on the bleachers to watch.

Chase, who was still holding the Beater club, handed it to Celeste. "Think you can hit me with a Bludger while I try to shoot?" she asked her sister. 

Celeste shrugged. "I'll try."

Chase flew up and caught the Quaffle, swerving dangerously from a Bludger. The group assembled below gasped, thinking she was going to fall off. But she didn't. (Haha…favoritism)

She sped towards the opposing team's goalposts, and Celeste swung hard at the Bludger. A loud crack rent the air, which Chase took no notice of. She did a little spin around the Bludger to confuse it and shot one-handed to keep on her broom. The ball went through.

The people below cheered.

Celeste looked on. "That was some shooting," she remarked. She held up the broken club. "Sorry 'bout this. _Reparo,_" and the club became whole. "I'll try not to hit it so hard next time…I'm still not used to this…"

So Chase…chased after the Quaffle and slapped it with her palm, causing it to rocket to the middle goalpost. Celeste swung the Bludger at the Quaffle, but it must suit humans better because it headed for Chase. 

Chase rolled over to avoid it, but it swung right back. "Here!" Celeste threw the club at her; Chase batted the dark blue ball away again and it hit its brother. The two Bludgers, enraged, started whacking themselves at each other.

"Can I try a few goals while they're busy?" Celeste asked eagerly. Chase shrugged and mouthed, "Do what you want."

Celeste snatched the red ball and flew nearer the goalposts. She was about to shoot when Chase caught up and stole the ball. "Too slow," she said.

"Eat your words," Celeste said and swiped it from her, hurling it to the goal. It went through. "Ha!"

"But there's no Keeper to guard it while you shoot," Chase pointed out. "Uh-oh, one of the Bludgers must have waved the white flag already…"

One Bludger headed straight for Celeste, who swung at it. It went through one of the goals. 

"What was that, _base_ketball?" Chase laughed. But she handed the Quaffle to Celeste all the same, and for five minutes they alternately played the role of Chaser and Beater. After that they headed back down, wondering why the others had landed and not practiced.

"I told you that the Quidditch field is not for mindless play, Chase," Mark said in a stern voice. The others, who were behind him, had weird expressions on their faces.

"Oh yeah. And I know what you're going to say next. 'Congratulations, Celeste, you're on the team!'" Chase responded cynically.

"Why is it that your predictions are always accurate?" Mark asked, his face breaking into a smile. 

"Because of all the fog that penetrated to my brain from attending too many Divination classes," Chase said with rolled eyes. "So, is Celes in?"

"Yes," Mark confirmed.

"Yes!" Celeste cheered. "Oh, but I can't be a Beater, I play better as a Chaser," she said mischievously.

"What? But what we need _is _a Beater," Mark said, confused.

Celeste shook her head and laughed. "Of course. That's why Chase is going to take my place."

"What?" Chase demanded.

Celeste handed her the club. "You're the new Beater. Congrats, sis."

*****

AN - Finished! Wish I had more reviews, though, I'm sick of writing without much people reviewing… Maybe that's why the chapters get worse and worse… well anyway, review, pleeeeeeaaaassse! Begging and grovelling need not be added, I still have my pride, you know… But I wish you bunch had _hearts_. Pitying hearts, that is. Oh well, I'm pathetic. Ciao for now, and don't forget to be good and review…


	18. Overly Unjustified

**Chapter 18: Overly Unjustified **

Saturday found several hundred impatient students sitting on the bleachers of the Quidditch field. The players could come out any minute--

"And they're off! Conroy, Gene, Schoharie, Black, Tarlise, Sinclair and Potter of the Gryffindor Team; Myvany, Shauna, Melbourne, Talbot, Talbot, Phelim and Walters of the Ravenclaws. Quite a crowd we've got up here, with the spectators equally divided in either the Lions' or Eagles' favor. Gryffindor, of course, and Hufflepuff for the Lions because the Hufflepuffs are leaning on the 159th win, and the Slytherins for the Ravenclaws because the Eagles' victory would give them the Quidditch Cup, and 400 House Points that would boost them higher than the leading Gryffindors." Remus was commentating, though he looked rather tired.

"There's Madame Pomfrey with the whistle, she's letting the balls out--and the game gets in session."

Ileana Talbot caught the Quaffle and passed it to her brother, Donovan. The Ravenclaws cheered as he took the shot--which was successfully blocked by Erin. The Gryffindors cheered, and in turn, the Ravenclaws groaned.

"And that's perfect defense courtesy of Sinclair!" Remus yelled into the magical megaphone. "Yep, and game resumes, with Gryffindor in possession. Schoharie with the Quaffle, passes to Conroy, passes to Gene--whoops, watch out for that Bludger sent by Melbourne--not bad, but it grazed his shoulder. So Gene fakes and passes to--Schoharie, Schoharie speeding up to the goalposts fast. She's going to shoot--two Bludgers and a Chaser at you, Celeste! No, she passes to Conroy, who's free, and--GRYFFINDOR SCORE!!!"

The red-clad part of the crowd exploded in cheers. 

"Turnover to Ravenclaw possession. Phelim dodges Conroy, pass--ouch, nice Beater work by Tarlise there, hit him in the stomach--but he's still holding the ball. Looks like he's got the wind knocked out of him though… He passes to Talbot, the younger one--and Talbot swerves around Schoharie--Schoharie taps the ball just in time, the Quaffle's unpos--inposses--not possessed by any--Gene catches it and throws a long pass to Schoharie. Schoharie catches it, ducks a Bludger sent by Shauna, dodges Talbot #2--" At this the Ravenclaws glared. "She's gonna shoot--no, there's a Bludger and it knocks the ball away; Talbot 1 catches it, flying, flying fast…passes Gene, passes--Conroy, outruns a Bludger--" Then the Ravenclaws cheered and Remus slumped back on his seat. "Darn it, the Ravenclaws score a goal…"

The Ravenclaw players clapped their hands on Donovan's back. Twenty minutes of play continued, with Ravenclaw leading 90-70. 

"No sign of the Snitch still…C'mon, James, get it before Myvany… Oh no, here comes Talbot 2 again, and he's heading for the goals…"

Donovan swerved away from Mark and shot, which Erin blocked. The Gryffindor supporters let out the breaths they hadn't realized they'd been holding. Keith scored a goal, but then Phelim retaliated with one of his own. Sirius swung a Bludger at him as he was speeding back into position.

The Bludger ran fast, but missed Phelim completely--the Slytherins erupted in laughter, pointing and jeering at him. Snape kept yelling, _"Baka! Bakayro!" _(Errr…I'm not Japanese but as far as I know, both mean "idiot"…^_^)

Suddenly the Ravenclaw mocks were shushed as the Bludger hit Donovan Talbot full in the face, smashing his nose. Several girls screamed as blood flowed down. The Bludger continued its careless journey and rocketed to Melbourne, crashing into his broomstick and causing it to jerk back and forth in a very un-broom-like manner. Still, the Bludger went on its merry way, unseating Phelim, who dangled by two arms below his broom, holding on for dear life. Try as he could he couldn't climb back on, and the players below were too awestruck with the reckless Bludger to help. Melbourne's broom was thrashing about, making him look like he was riding buckin' bronco style on air. Talbot had blood running down his blue robes.

"Yes!!! Great job, Sirius, I mean, no whistle yet, it's not a foul…" Remus said happily.

The Ravenclaws and Slytherins booed and protested--those who weren't concerned with the safety of the three players, anyway. The other half of their side kept biting their nails, gasping, crying, and yelling for somebody to save the three boys.

"And Gene scores…idle much, Walters? Oh, sorry, professor, I mean, he's just _sitting there, _gaping at his teammates, shouldn't he be saving them or doing his job or something? The least he could do is make himself useful…" Professor McGonagall looked at him sternly.

"No bias, Lupin, you know the rules!" 

"Yes, professor…"

Meanwhile, the excited Gryffindors kept cheering Sirius on and giving praise for his superb playing. The Hufflepuffs were starting to look anxious too, safety for them counted way more than the Gryffindors' victory. They too started to chatter about unfair judging and sending emergency rescuers.

So by then Phelim had managed to clamber onto his broom; and Melbourne had somehow done a little spell to steady his broom. After all, that was what Ravenclaws were known for--being quick-witted and wise. Unfortunately the Gryffindors, or at least quite a few fourth years, had taken even _that _from their House. 

The Gryffindor Chasers had made the most of the situation, shooting goals until they were a hefty score up, but still less than 150. And then--

"JAMES AND MYVANY ARE NECK AND NECK!!! THERE'S THE SNITCH!!!" Remus yelled into the megaphone. There was a deafening static. "Oops, sorry," he apologized, moving the voice magnifier away from his mouth a few inches. "There they go…still level with each other…and--and…" It sounded like an explosion had taken place; a great round of cheering from part of the crowd was enough to rattle the leaves on every tree in Hogwarts. "JAMES CAUGHT THE SNITCH FIRST!!! HA! TAKE THAT, SLYTHERIN!!! YOU LOST THE CUP!!!" Remus was yelling so loudly, but not loudly enough to overcome the Gryffindors' cheers. And that was how the Lions were presented to the gigantic trophy in Dumbledore's hands, his eyes filled with pride. (He _was_ a Gryffindor once, you know. And he can't be more than 159 years old, so his House must've won the Cup too at his age…okay, I'll stop babbling now) 

"Congratulations," Dumbledore said. "Another year, another victory, my dear Gryffindors." And he handed Mark the Cup, which he held high for everyone to see. The Gryffindors again exploded into thunderous applause and whooping.

"All right!" James yelled, pumping his fist (which still had the poor Snitch in it). "It's PAR-TY TIME!!!"

"Um, James? I think you should give the Snitch back to Madame Hooch first," Celeste pointed out.

"Oh, yeah." James scurried off. "But don't think you're going to start the festivities without the man who gave your team a hundred and fifty points!!!" he called over his shoulder.

Remus sighed. "Why couldn't he forget to say that, for once?"

*****

As was usual after every Quidditch Cup victory, the common room was a perpetual disco club until dawn. Some sixth years had planned the party carefully even before the match, proving their confidence that Gryffindor would win--again. The party thrown was fairly well-organized, and Sirius's friends thanked God that Maxine was a Ravenclaw…

"C'mon, Lil, let's dance," James said after taking a swig of butterbeer.

"He is, as of now, officially…shall we say, _sloshed,_" Remus announced.

"Or in more scientific terms, intoxicated," Chase added with a smirk. "Seriously, James, do you think you can dance without puking all over Lily's outfit by the end of it?"

James glowered at her. Lily shivered. 

"Kidding, lovebirds," she added, popping a chocolate-coated almond in her mouth. The two lovebirds just stood there, looking at Chase expectantly.

"Who's she, your mother? Why don't you just dance?" Celeste laughed, shooing them away. Just before they could get out of earshot, Remus stage-whispered, "Okay, who's gonna bet that James can manage to dance three whole songs with Lil with_out _vomiting?"

Celeste looked skeptical. "Does my bet count too if he just looks really green and sickly when it's over?"

"Er--yeah, I guess so," Remus quickly judged. "What are you willing to throw in if you lose?"

Celeste pocketed her purse. "Two Galleons and not a Knut more," she informed.

"Great! I'll bet the complete opposite. Just to be fair, though… I'll give two Galleons too if I lose--Chase?"

"Count me out," Chase said. "This time I don't feel like making predictions--"

"You're just chicken," Celeste teased.

"If I was a chicken, then I wouldn't have the guts to blast you sky-high with a hex, even though you're my sister. And quite frankly, I _will _do it too if you don't stop," Chase said threateningly. Celeste shrank back and she laughed. "What is with you guys and letting me push you around?" she chuckled. "It's not like I'm _really_ going to do that to you, Celes." 

"Oh," Celeste said, relieved. "Looks like the Christmas play rubbed off on ya, you're starting to look more like a play-acting villain," she added, earning a handful of chocolate-almonds to be entangled in her hair. "Hey! My hair!" she yelped, trying (and failing) to extract the sticky confections from her brown locks. 

"C'mon, Chase. You've always been lucky," Remus persisted.

"Yeah? Where's my luck now?" she asked quietly, staring across the room. Remus and Celeste (who still had a couple of almonds in her waist-long mane) followed her line of sight and spotted Sirius, who was laughing it off with a bunch of his adoring (female) fans. Looks like he was retelling his big act to them, because every other second they were squealing and clapping and begging him to continue.

"Sorry," Remus said sincerely. Sometimes it seemed like Chase was back to her old self, that she would never be affected by stuff like that...but she wasn't. He just kept forgetting that. "I really am, Chase. We'll get that potion rolling, we're almost halfway through. Peter even managed to ask his uncle to send us the key ingredient…all the rest are relatively easy to do. We'll be able to finish it in a month or so…" 

He stopped babbling, noticing how this was making it worse. 

"Maybe I should just turn in," she said distantly, "It's not like anybody's going to care."

"But we _do_ care," Celeste said quietly. She and Remus exchanged tentative glances. Chase didn't respond.

Suddenly Remus had an idea. "Okay then, Chase, ifyou don't want to bet, then don't. But you _will _do something for not betting," he added with a mischievous grin. 

"What?" Chase said wearily.

"You're going to write an article to donate to the Hogwarts Time Capsule about the match. And you're going to write Sirius's big play as the center of attraction."

"No way!" Chase objected. "What is this, capital punishment? It's not like I even like the guy at this point!"

"Yes, you do still like him," Remus said gently. "You're only doing this because you think the Love Potion won. But it hasn't--yet. We're going to beat it, Chase, and so are you. So don't let a potion stop your real feelings for him."

Chase raised an eyebrow. "You're starting to sound like I did a couple of months ago when I was telling Lily to stop denying her feelings for James," she recalled with a smirk. "Obviously I didn't know how mushy and cliché-like it all sounded."

"But it's still _true_," Celeste pointed out. "And you can't preach your words without believing in them too, Chase. Then you'd just be a big fake."

"Me? A fake?" Chase shook her head. "Fine then, I'll make your stupid article, but you're not going to read it, or proofread it, or try to steal it from the time capsule once I give it to Dumbledore--"

"Yes we would, that's the whole point in it," Remus argued. "We're going to see if there's any hostility in your writing…"

"There will be," Chase stated. "And a lot of it."

*****

***** words in (---) mean erasures--strikethrough doesn't work on ff.net**

**Hogwarts Time Capsule**

A (Forced) Contributed Article Highlighting the 1983-1984 Gryffindor-Ravenclaw Quidditch Cup Match

_By Chase Tarlise_

In the midst of (sickening, disgustingly idiotic self-congratulation) hugs, warm cheers, claps on the back, and (rude finger signs courtesy of the Ravenclaws and Slytherins) handshakes bordering on sportsmanship by the (pathetically weak) defeated Eagles, the Gryffindor Quidditch Team celebrated their 159th straight claim of the Quidditch Cup. All players from both teams showed great skill in their performances, yet one play (that I only wrote here because of the demand of disillusioned, brainwashed female fans of a two-faced traitor) rose above all. It was the climax of the match, where a Gryffindor Beater successfully discontinued the acts of two Chasers and one Beater of the opposite team with only one (miracle which he certainly didn't deserve) blow of the club, Sirius Black, a (narcissistic, two-timing bastard) clever but somewhat (insubordinate) cunning fourth year, was admired by many (sluts) fans all around for his (stupid, desperate attempt for equally inane mass attention) spectacular performance. The air on the field was (depressing) electric as the crowd cheered (like bloodthirsty zombies) spiritedly for the (horrible) excellent Beater. He has (an enormous ego that lives up to the size of the star he is named after), for those who are (idiotically) interested with a bit of his biodata, been a role model in academic terms, and is often dubbed the (backstabbing brute) school prankster, along with his best friends Remus Lupin and James Potter, who is (a more loyal and considerate friend who is conscious of other people other than himself) also a member of the Lions team. 

The Ravenclaws (obviously wanted to shove a rod up a certain bloat-headed cheater's ass for causing serious injury on them and wiping out their entire team), ever sportsmanlike, (bitterly rejected) accepted their defeat (with much tantrums in perfect imitation of three-year-olds) gracefully and congratulated Black (with thoughts of murder in their heads) and the other members humbly They wished (a royal loss) for another well-turned match (in hell) next year.

Mark Conroy, the Gryffindor Team's captain, has pulled his team together for the second time of his leadership. In such short notice, he was able to replace Dione Ulysses, a Beater (who was intentionally injured by a fellow member whose inane impression of Quidditch is killing the most number of people in a limited time) who was unfortunately unable to play after an (intentional stunt) accident during one of their last practices before the match. She was replaced by Celeste Schoharie, a last-minute replacement who played superbly (and was praised far less than what she deserved because of a crowd-hogging git, enabling the latter's head to swell larger than it already is) as a Chaser. The members are as follows:

Mark Conroy - Chaser Keith Gene - Chaser Celeste Schoharie - Chaser Sirius Black - Beater Chase Tarlise - Beater Erin Sinclair - Keeper James Potter - Seeker 

Each performed with outstanding talent, the only logical reason why they were destined to win this Cup, aside from, of course, their undying teamwork and the support of their friends and house mates. 

The game ended amid cheers from the supportive Gryffindors (who would have most likely been sent to a mental institute had Professor Ridgewood not taken things in control) and festivities ensued right after. 

As a regular Chaser and substitute Beater of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, I would like to (barf) proclaim (the fact that most of the female population of Hogwarts are poorly educated in terms of social taste and that they should be more careful of lying, heart-playing cheaters whose only evil intentions are leading girls on and trampling all over their hearts. They should avoid these stereotypically good-looking backstabbers who have the egotistical point of view that all women are below them and must come to their every beck and call, and who have mastered the intricate art of shoving food to their greedy, extremely wide mouths [probably from bragging too much about the fifty girls they hooked up with in one night] out of the view of their faithful yet moronically obsessed admirers and when they aren't busy playing tonsil hockey with a band of erotic-minded prostitutes)--victory.

*****

"Whatcha working on?" a voice said over Chase's shoulder. She was lying down on her bed, on her stomach, and didn't even notice a perky Lily come in.

"Nothing that would interest you," Chase said, calmly folding the piece of parchment. It was drowning with erasure-used ink. 

"Nothing would ever not interest me if I want it," Lily said cheerfully. "So you might as well hand it over, else I'll hex you for it."

Chase snorted. "You and what army?" She dodged a blast of blue light sent her way and used a reflector charm on herself, then walked back. Lily tried to undo her spell but didn't know how.

"Damn! Why is it that I'm smarter than you but I just can't figure out how to undo some of your spells?" Lily said in frustration, slumping down on her own bed.

Chase smirked. "Because I invented 'em, dummy," she said.

Lily sat up straight. "You did? How'd you do that? You never told me--"

"Yeah, I guess not. It just seemed that when I told you my biggest secret ever that that was enough. I mean, you haven't even told me _your_ biggest secret. Then again, I can see right through you so I probably already know it…"

Lily threw a stuffed bear at her, but since Chase had a reflector spell on her, it bounced back and hit Lily in the face. 

Lily removed the stuffed toy, barely comprehending that her attempt had backfired. "I still can't believe you've been doing _that _for two years and you never told me," she said, shaking her head.

Chase shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah? Well, I didn't even know you too well back then, so I guess I just…didn't trust you enough."

Lily was on the verge of throwing a pillow at her but caught herself in time. She broke into a wicked smile. "If I told the guys your secret--"

"Don't even think about it!" Chase shot back, her tone calm but her eyes slightly shifting. "Look, if you tell them that, I am personally going to make sure that you don't live long after it…"

"Okay, okay," Lily laughed. "I'll never tell them. Swear to my honor as a witch." She held up one hand in mock salute.

"Loser," Chase chided.

"Moron," Lily retorted. They both laughed.

It felt good to be able to still do that even if one's heart was breaking.

*****

Monday was pretty much normal…as normal as it ever was at Hogwarts. Chase still hadn't taken off the Japanese curse on Snape.

That was why she was greeted first thing in the morning with _"Ohayou gozaimasu, Chase-chan!" _("Good morning, Chase!")

Chase stared at him. "What's so good about it?" she said to him. Snape looked at her blankly and Chase just shook her head.

Lily laughed all the way to their table. "He's still at it! Say Chase, I think you did that spell wrong, I thought putting a curse on him for a good two weeks would make him hate you like hell?"

"Well, I've never been that good with charms… I think there must have been slight alterations," Chase said thoughtfully. "Oh no, I think I did the Japanese Love Charm on him…"

Lily burst out laughing again.

_"Watashi wa anata no kami ga suki desu," _Snape proclaimed from across the room. Even Sirius, who was under the effects of the Love Potion, turned from Maxine to Snape, a smirk on his face. The others looked from Snape to Chase

_"Sukijanai, baka!"_Chase shot back. Snape looked crestfallen. (Correct me if I'm wrong: Snape said "I like you," and Chase said the opposite--"_I_ don't like _you_, idiot!" Sorry if the words aren't flexible, it's hard not being Japanese and writing Japanese phrases ^_^;)

_"Naze ikenai no ka?"_Snape asked. ("Why not?" Yeesh, that was long. Give me English anytime)

Chase didn't gratify him with an answer. (Okay…so I don't know what "Because you're ugly" is in Niponggo… happy?)

The rest of Chase's friends looked confused, too. (They don't get to see my translations, lol) 

"What did he say?" James and Remus chorused.

"What did _you _say?" Celeste demanded.

"If I told you, then you would just--" She shrugged. "Never mind."

"Chase accidentally did the Japanese Love Charm on him," Lily informed them. They too started laughing.

"So that's why! What'd he say, I love you eternally?" James snickered. Chase gave him a death glare. 

"Want me to do a Chinese curse on _you_, Jamie?" she said sweetly. James stopped laughing.

"But how could you understand him?" Lily asked.

"My dad took me to Japan when I was about…seven. We stayed there two years since he had a lot of business with the Japanese Ministry of Magic, so I learned some Japanese there." Chase shrugged. "But I forgot all about it now… The only stuff I remember are the stupid song lyrics of dad's Japanese helper that she sings all day long. It drove me crazy then," she laughed.

"Uh-oh, we'd better get to class early, we've got Potions triple period…" Celeste said with a groan. 

"Don't moan, it's good practice for the potion we're making," Lily said. "C'mon, guys!"

They reached the dungeons with five minutes left. The rest of the class was there, and so was Ridgewood.

"Well, well, well, late again?" Ridgewood said with a cold smile.

"Actually, we aren't, sir," Chase said automatically. "There're still five minutes left before class starts, so technically we aren't late…"

"But how come the rest of your classmates reached this class earlier than you did. Loitered, perhaps? That is against the school rules…twenty points from Gryffindor." Ridgewood turned and stalked back into the class.

"Rotten son of a bitch," Sirius said bitterly as they entered the classroom. 

"Fucking Slytherin scum," James said at the same time. 

They skulked into their seats, knowing it was useless to fight back authority unless they had another authority figure with them to defend their case.

"Today we are going to discuss…Love Potions," Ridgewood said in a silky voice. "Yes, at different levels, of course. I will assign a certain type for each group. The hardest potion will be done by a group with the most number of people, so I don't want to hear anybody complaining that someone else's group has an easier potion to make than them. Snape, copy this potion on the board," he commanded in a much friendlier tone.

_"Hai, Ridgewood-sensei," _Snape said, jumping up. ("Yes, Professor Ridgewood.") He stared hard at the parchment in his hand and went up to the board to copy it.

"Tarlise!" Ridgewood boomed at her. She quickly hid her sketch of Ridgewood with bloody daggers piercing his head. 

"Yes, Professor?" she asked innocently.

"Did I or did I not tell you to undo the curse you have done to my student?!" he yelled at her.

Chase smirked. "I don't believe so, sir. Actually you were more like shouting it to the whole Hall back then, and the Headmaster reprimanded you for acting so uncivilized and immature toward such a very simple matter--"

The Gryffindors all snickered and sneered, the Slytherins glared back at them. Ridgewood's face darkened.

"I will not have students talking back to me, Tarlise!" Ridgewood barked at her. "Fifty points from Gryffindor!"

The Gryffindors exclaimed in outrage while the Slytherins cheered. Seventy points all in one period from Gryffindor put them only fifty points ahead of Slytherin. And the way this was going, that fifty points could be tarnished quicker than they could say anything. 

"But, Professor!" Martin Kimball protested.

"That's not fair!" Peter said indignantly.

"Hold your tongues, you insolent brats," Ridgewood snarled at them. 

There was a knock on the door, and Dumbledore came in. The Gryffindors stopped complaining and the Slytherins stopped making rude signs at them.

"What is it, Headmaster?" Ridgewood said nervously. 

"I am sorry to inform you, my dear students," Dumbledore said, "But unfortunately, the Ministry has forbidden you to learn how to make Love Potions. I'm afraid it has been banned because of certain severe cases that the Ministry has found complicated to undo… And it seemed a bad idea to teach the young how to make it. You might want to try another potion for this lesson, Tiernan, I have quite a number of brews listed here…"

Chase raised her hand. "Headmaster?"

"Yes, Chase," Dumbledore said kindly. 

"I would just like to lodge a complaint against Professor Ridgewood, who took fifty points from Gryffindor just because I recalled what he told me when I did magic in the Hall last week," she said bluntly. Ridgewood looked enraged but Dumbledore hushed him with a wave of his hand.

"Certainly his decision was justified," Dumbledore reasoned. "Is there any reason against this?"

"Yes, there is, Professor. I told him about how you explained rationally the situation and of how he shouldn't have taken twenty more points for Gryffindor--"

"She did no such thing!" Ridgewood burst out. "Headmaster, this child has spoken back to a teacher! She cannot be treated with equal respect until she learns to respect others herself!"

"I simply answered the question you had asked me, Professor," Chase said coldly. "And I am not a child."

"Yeah, and he took twenty points from Gryffindor just because the seven of us arrived five minutes before classes start!" James added, putting on an innocent-but-unjustly-accused front.

"Is this true, Tiernan?" Dumbledore asked, frowning at the Potions teacher.

"Yes, it was!!!" the furious Gryffindors replied in unison.

"No, it wasn't!!!" the Slytherins roared back.

Snape, who was writing Japanese characters on the board, also joined in. _"Iie! Yada!" _("No"…..)

"Tiernan, I think you should take back the points you have deducted. These students have logical reasons for their behavior, I do think you must learn to tolerate more," Dumbledore said firmly. "Well, that is all. Oh yes, let us give twenty more points to Gryffindor for their courage and standing up for their rights... Slytherins, please try to be more courteous to your fellow classmates, be they House mates or not. Carry on, then." And he left.

Sirius smirked and raised his hand. "Professor, I think Snape's finished writing," he said. Ridgewood whirled around and saw neat Japanese characters all over his blackboard. 

"What is this?!" Ridgewood exploded.

"I think it's Hiragana," Chase said, squinting at the letters. "Or maybe Katakana… I don't really know how to tell Japanese letters apart…"

"I was not asking you, Tarlise!" Ridgewood growled at her. "But I do command you this: revert Snape back to his old self!!!"

"Sir, I believe that is undoable. It lasts for two weeks, tops," Chase said matter-of-factly. "And Professor Dumbledore said it was okay and you shouldn't deduct any more points from Gryffindor because of it--"

"I will have none of your stubbornness!!! OUT!!!" Ridgewood yelled at the top of his lungs, pointing at the doorway.

"Who said I was giving you some?" Chase grumbled, but got off her stool, grabbed her cauldron, extinguished the fire she had made like the rest, and stalked out, but not before turning back around. "And I hate Potions! Way more than Transfiguration ever will…" She slammed the door.

_"Ja ne, Chase-chan!"_Snape called. ("Later, Chase!")

Chase cracked the door open slightly. _"Urusai, buta!!!"_("Shut up, pig!") They heard her footsteps echoing down the damp, dark corridor. 

*****

Lunchtime came. Thankfully, Ridgewood had enough sense to group the six together now that he knew they had Dumbledore's trust. They (except Sirius) met up with Chase, who had obviously already eaten by the look of her plate.

_"Itadakimasu!"_Snape said, digging in to his food. (Let's eat!)

"Buy a life, Snape," Chase shot at him. Snape just smiled and waved back.

"Stupid git," Chase muttered, shaking her head as the group sat down.

"So I'm guessing you already ate," Lily said, pointing at her plate.

"Gee, what makes you think that?" Chase said sarcastically. "What took you guys so long? I had to restrain myself from hurling another curse at the resident oil factory, he was singing asinine prose all the way…" Chase groaned just as Snape was calling to her: _"Watashi wa anata no tame ni ikite imasu…" _("I live because of you…" Talk about mush and sentimentality…)

_"Anata ga iya ni narimashita," _Chase retorted, grabbing a handful of peppermint humbugs on a bowl and throwing them up in the air, hexing them to make them pelt Snape. ("I'm tired of you.")

_"Itai!__ Anata ga hitsuyo desu…" _("Ouch!" And he starts reciting again… "I need you…" ^_^;)

Chase rolled her eyes and slumped down on her chair. "One more week," she said to them. "One more week and he'll be off my case forever."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "But he still has crush on you, doesn't he?" he asked. 

"Well, not after he finds out he's been talking Japanese for half a month and people start to talk about him behind his back, he won't," Chase confirmed. 

The others shrugged and were silent for a few minutes, gobbling up lunch.

"Why are you all hurrying anyway? We have a free period after lunch," Chase pointed out.

"Yeah, but we've got to get that potion rolling so that Sirius can recover quickly," James explained.

"Sorry if I haven't been helping you guys," Chase apologized, looking glum again.

"Not at all! You don't have to do it with us, it'll just…" Peter trailed off. 

"It's okay, Pete, you can say whatever you want to say," Chase said, smiling slightly at him. "I don't even know if I want to get together with him again after all this is over." She stared out at the Ravenclaw table, where Maxine was feeding Sirius off a spoon.

"Yecccchhh, look at them, they're so gross," Celeste said disgustedly. "I can't ever imagine Sirius going out with her for real. She's such a dirty whore. She's probably dated the entire male student population of Hogwarts above the third year."

"Even Arthur Weasley and those guys?" James asked her, cracking a sardonic smile.

"We-ell, there may be some exceptions, since he's Molly Duncan's already," Celeste said offhandedly.

"Yeah, he's _whipped_," Lily said with a snicker, watching Molly lecture Arthur not to be influenced by his fellow classmates who read pornographic magazines.

"And that's what Jamie's gonna be years from now," Celeste said. "I can imagine it already… 'James, run down to the store and buy more diapers for Jeremy, Justin and James Jr., and don't forget to pick up my dress robes from the dry cleaners…'" she said in a high-pitched tone higher even than hers. It even made Chase laugh.

"Oi! I do _not _talk like that!" Lily protested.

"Yep, and James'll say, 'Lily, dear? Can I just relieve my bladder first? I've just been to the jewelry shop, buying the sapphire necklace you'd always wanted… Lily? Is it okay for me to breathe?" Remus taunted in a deep voice.

"'Sapphire! What were you thinking, James Forsythe Potter! I specifically told you to buy ruby, not sapphire! Are you color blind? Go back to that store and exchange it!'" Celeste said, starting to laugh.

"'Yes, love, I'll go right away, don't worry,'" Remus said. The two of them chuckled together.

"I'll murder you," James threatened him, his face ominous. But that just caused the couple to laugh more.

"Let's get back to the dormitory, guys," Chase said. "Leave these lunatics alone…"

"Yeah, some of us have better priorities to uphold, like _helping our friend get her boyfriend back,_" James said loudly. Remus and Celeste instantly stopped.

"You don't have to make me sound like a complete victim," Chase said irritably.

"Nonsense," Lily tutted. "We're going to help you no matter what. C'mon, guys, it's time to get into the real schoolwork…"

"OI! Sirius! Come over here and help!" James called out, startling Sirius temporarily from his potion effects.

"Huh? What?" 

James dragged him away from a disgruntled-looking Maxine. "Sorry, flavor-of-the-month, but lover boy has…better things to do," he said carefully. "Toodles!"

And he pushed him out of the Hall. 

_"Anata wa watashi ga aisuru tado hitori no hito desu…" _Snape sang. ("You are my one and only love…")

_"__Nan__ to osshamashita ka?"_Chase said back with narrowed eyes. ("What did you say?")

_"Aishiteru," _Snape declared. ("I love you.")

Chase exhaled. _"Sukijanai!"_("Well, _I _hate _you!_")

_"Anata o nakaseru yo na koto wa shimasen." _("I won't let you cry.")

Chase smirked. _"Kyomi ga nai kara desu, do'aho," _she said, shaking her head in disbelief at him. ("I'm not interested in you, asshole." Lol)

_"Kunishimasen," _Snape said firmly. _"Watashi ni chansu o ataete kudasai…" _("I don't care. Please give me a chance…")

_"Tondemo nai!"_Chase said sharply. ("Never!" corny… dunno anymore, my brain's on a dead end) _"Anata wa watashi no taipu ja arimasen." _("You're not my type, anyway." Okay, so 'anyway' isn't supposed to be in there, but the sentiment still stands.)

_"Nanimokamo anata ni agemasho," _Snape pleaded. ("I'll give you everything.")

_"Okamai naku," _Chase said. ("Don't bother.) She almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Her worst enemy was in love with her, but the one she loved didn't give a damn. Fate sure worked in funny ways. _"Naze ikimasen ka, Snape."_("Why don't you go, Snape?)

_"Demo…" _Snape said quietly. ("But…")

Chase shook her head and walked away.

_"Chotto matte!"_Snape called. ("Wait!") 

Chase turned around just in time to catch a stunning silver chain with a moon-shaped diamond pendant. "What the--"

_"Gomen nasai," _Snape apologized. (so obviously that means "I'm sorry…")

Chase sighed, then smiled. "I can't have this," she shook her head, handing it back, but Snape wouldn't take it.

_"Daijoubu," _he said. ("Don't worry.")

Chase pocketed it slowly, aware that this was just the effect of the charm. She'd just give it back when it wore off. Anyway, even Snape, the ultimate slimeball of the universe, deserved to give it to someone who would love him back as much as he loved her. Chase just couldn't be that person. No way in hell. _"Arigato gozaimasu," _she said tentatively. ("Thank you.")

_"Do itashimashite," _Snape said sincerely. ("You're welcome.")

*****

**A/N - **Yep, sorry for the sentimentality, but how am I supposed to write it in another, less dramatic way when I don't even fully understand Japanese? It's not like I can learn it straight from a book…but I swear that this is the last scene with Japanese language. And Chase and Snape are _not _getting together. 

Oh yeah, just to keep you interested… 

What is Chase's biggest secret? Actually, I'm supposed to write it in the next chapter, but I don't know if I can keep it short enough… Think I should just end it until chapter 20-something…is that too long? Anywayz, REVIEW!!! Do I have to say it in Japanese to get some? Onegai, onegai, onegai… Yes, I am pathetic… 


	19. Discovery

**Disclaimer: **????? Before I forget… I was thinking that after I finish this already-too-long fic, I should make a prequel or a sequel… prequel as in their first year so that I can invent some stuff on how Lily met her friends… Sequel for fifth year when one of them becomes a prefect (is there only _one_ for every House? I don't think so…).

**AN – **Had to get a new computer…took two weeks to wait for it and two days to install everything and another two days to try to hook the modem and connect to the Internet and find out how to install the drive where I put all my files from the old one…so sorry I'm late. 

**NicolaPadfoot: **What?!!! You have homework over the holidays?! That's an outrage! Okay, so I'm a little clueless on how the education system in Britain works…but that's too unfair… At least in my country we don't have homework over the summer, we have our final exams and go on our merry way for two whole months… 

**Lunard: **You know? How'd you know? Am I that freakin' predictable now? But there's a slight chance that you could be wrong…well, we'll just see then 'cause I didn't manage to get it in this chapter… Hehe. Anywayz-- Four years…older…Molly… I don't really remember…sorry. I'd have to put the blame on my sister, though, because she lent my GoF to her friend, conveniently without telling me…and some important references must be in there. Up to now her friend still hasn't returned it. Cymone, tell Kim to give it back! How many months has it been already? Three?

**Magical Mischief Maker No. 5: **I think I owe it to you to give a directed thanks… So…thanks. ^_^; For reviewing, I mean… Yeah, and I read your fic, it's cool. It's a good thing Sirius never actually went out with that whore…Alex is twenty times better. Not like the Sirius in _this _fic…but at least he never really means any of it.

Thanks to all others who reviewed…luv ya!

Chapter 19: Discovery

Lily trudged up the girls' dormitory after a grueling hour of wrestling with a violent rabbit-eating plant. Why was it that Monday was specially reserved for irrational 'practical' quizzes? Didn't any of their teachers know that tiresome activity should always be done on Friday, when they had the weekend to recover?

It was the stupid plant's fault anyway, and right now every single muscle in her body was aching so she forgot about its name. How was she supposed to know that plants weren't cannibals? Was she suddenly the biggest genius of the universe?

Okay, so she _was _the smartest girl in the fourth year. But _that _didn't have anything to do with physical strength, right? _I need a shower. What I wouldn't give for a shower. _

And the fact that Sprout had given her a detention for hexing the damned vicious thing didn't lighten her mood either. Well, what did they think self-defense was for, anyway? Why then would they waste their time teaching witches spells if it was all for nothing? She cursed under her breath, wishing that she could just get to the dormitory and have a nice, long shower and get out of her reeking clothes.

"Rough night?" a voice called from above, half a staircase up.

"Is it that obvious?" Lily asked sarcastically. She hauled her body up that half-staircase and the dorm, summoning all the strength she had left from the follicles of her hair to the tips of her toes. She landed on her bed with a FLUMP!!!

"Who's the bloody person in the bathroom?" she grumbled through her pillow as she listened to the pattering of water to the tiled floor from the showers.

"Celeste, who else?" Chase responded. "I don't know how she does it, but she found a handy spell that wouldn't make her wrinkle up like a prune like all the other people in the world."

"I think she's going for a world record," Kylie piped up from the dresser as she brushed her jet black hair.

"World record, my ass," Lily griped, pulling herself up and stalking to the bathroom door. "Celeste! Get the hell outta there!"

"Just a minute!" Celeste called back, turning off the shower. 

"Hurry up!" Lily said impatiently, rapping at the door.

"Yeesh, couldn't ya wait for a little while, Miss I'm-Queen-of-the-World?"

"No, and I think you've already hogged that title," Lily said with a smirk. Celeste opened the door, wearing her flowing nightgown.

"All yours, princess!" Celeste exclaimed, bowing as Lily passed her.

"You wish," Lily laughed, grabbing a fresh towel on the rack and slamming the door. 

Celeste looked quizzically at Chase.

"She has better days," Chase answered with a shrug. 

"What had her in such a bad mood?" Celeste asked, flopping down on her bed stomach-down and taking out her Muggle Studies homework. 

"Herbology. Remember that SwinialHare-Eater? She was supposed to give it a rabbit leg but she fed it a hairy Mongulus and it went ballistic. You know Sprout, she's dangerous when it comes to hurting her beloved plants, so she gave Lil a detention…"

Celeste laughed. "That's Lil, all right," she commented offhandedly. "Hey, I went to the boys' dormitory about an hour ago, and the potion's almost done," she informed.

"You? Gone to the boys' dormitory by _yourself_?" Chase asked in amazement. 

"Well, you were the one who went around preaching about chilling and being laid-back," Celeste said. "Anyway, that's not the point of discussion in my statement. It'll be ready in half a week."

"I thought they said _one_ and a half," Chase pointed out.

"You know them, anything to speed up your boyfriend's recovery," Celeste said. "I think another reason why they're making so much progress is 'cause Sirius is the master planner when it comes to pranks. With the influence of the Love Potion he's forgotten all about his said role."

"Whatever," Chase said. "'Night, guys," she called to the room.

"'Night," the three girls (in the bedroom) chorused. 

*****

"Chase. Chase? _Chase!_" 

Chase snapped her head up from her drawing. "Huh? What?"

Celeste folded her arms across her chest. "I was just saying that it must be hard for you to focus on anything else after everything you went through," she said dryly.

Chase rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and if you already knew that then you would have enough sense _not _to point out the obvious," she retorted, shutting her sketch pad closed. "What time is it anyway? Are we supposed to go down for lunch now?"

Celeste checked her watch. "Yep," she answered. Chase immediately shoved all her drawing materials under her bed.

"Pig," Celeste accused with a sardonic smile. She leaned over her own bed and magically fixed all of Chase's stuff neatly.

"Perfectionist," Chase sneered back. She tied her hair into a ponytail and stood up. It was Tuesday, but some holiday celebrating a famous wizard cancelled classes for that day.

As soon as they got to the Great Hall, Lily was already leaving it. "Hey, guys! Sorry I can't hang out, I've got a ton of work to do for Transfiguration in the library. See you later!" She ran around the corner, her red ponytail bouncing. 

"She's wasting a free day on _schoolwork_?" Chase asked as they made their way to the Gryffindor table. 

"At least some of us set our priorities right," Celeste remarked. "Have you finished _your _Transfiguration homework?"

"Nah, I'll do it tomorrow," Chase said offhandedly.

Celeste's eyes widened as big as saucers. "Are you kidding?! That's due tomorrow!" They sat down, noticing that the marauders, who never missed a chance for holding eating contests during lunch time, were missing.

"Then I'll copy from Lily and change the wording," Chase replied with a shrug. "What's McGonagall going to do, blame me for plagiarism?"

"But she'll see right through you!"

Chase shook her head, as if not believing that anybody could be that much of a school freak (who is?). "I'll tell her that we used the same book. Really, Celes, you have nothing to worry about…things'll be fine." She passed a bowl of fried chicken to Celeste and dumped several spoonfuls of gravy on hers.

Their meal had minimal conversation as each girl was deep in thought. After a few minutes Celeste stood up. "I still have to research on Ancient Runes. Wanna come?"

"Nah, I already did that. Against my better conscience, I'm actually going to listen to your persistent nagging and do my Transfiguration homework," Chase deadpanned. Celeste slapped her on the shoulder playfully. 

"Whatever. At least I know that you finally had some sense to solve your procrastination principles." Celeste waved goodbye and left the Hall.

Chase finished eating after a few minutes and looked around. She willed herself not to look at the Ravenclaw Table, but it was as if there were some terrible force that was inclining her to turn her eyes there. And as was usual when she did stare, her stomach churned. 

She didn't know why she always allowed herself to do that. She hated it when she did. Maxine, as usual, was taking advantage of the fact that Chase was the helpless one now and rubbing it in her face by making out with Sirius right there.

Chase felt like her intestines were coiling and knotting themselves tightly. It looked like the chicken she had just eaten wouldn't sit very well… 

Maxine's other whore friends who were sitting around them whistled and cheered as Maxine pulled Sirius in for yet another kiss.

Slowly, Chase stood up, her legs shaky. She felt a sudden spurt of anger at her own weakness. No way she was going to let this break her, absolutely no way. But it was like watching a car crash or something…the sight in front of her was so terrible but she couldn't glance away. Her eyes were glued to the horrible spectacle. 

Chase groaned inwardly as one on Maxine's sidekicks caught her gaping. She forced her feet to move and shuffled away, her head down. 

She heard Maxine's friend whispering something to the group and they broke into irritating, mocking laughter. Chase didn't flinch, nor look back. She wasn't going to concede defeat against a bunch of boyfriend-stealing bitches. Indifference was her trademark, wasn't that what Celeste always liked pointing out? 

So why did she suddenly feel like following what those lame magazines said about letting her feelings break free and crying her eyes out?

*****

The library door slammed shut as Lily left it, earning her a withering glare from the librarian. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, _she cursed inwardly as she barreled down the hallway. She had opened her bag, only to find it exploding with hairless slime-spitting caterpillars, the magical kind she hated the most. She was going to kill Sirius--oh wait, he couldn't have done it, he was still under the potion's influence. What about Remus? Nah, he was too nice to her to pull something like that. James? Playing a prank on your own girlfriend would be one of the most--if not the most--idiotic thing a boy could do, so count him out. And Peter was way too scared of what she could do to him if he dared do that to her so that left…

_Goddamned Slytherins, _she thought furiously. _I'll give them hell once I--_

She rounded the corner. There were a pretty lot of people in the corridor, but then again, they were simultaneously going in and out of one of the Ancient Runes classrooms, so there must be something school-related going on. Lily went on, pushing through the loads of people, but something made her stop. She saw Chase walking down the corridor, and Maxine, Sirius and two of her slutty followers were trailing after them. Chase couldn't see them because she was poring over a bunch of parchments in her hands.

Lily started to head toward her, but she was still a good distance away. She was near enough to hear the whole confrontation that would follow, though.

As Chase walked past Maxine without acknowledging her, Maxine purposefully bumped her--hard. Chase looked up to snap at whoever the jerk was who adamantly did that, but all the color drained from her face when she saw who it was. It hurt Lily to see her friend in that position.

"Why, hello, Tarlise," Maxine cooed in an over-sweet way, as if they were sorority sisters or something. "Busy with schoolwork, I s'pose?" 

"And what reason do you have to care?" Chase asked sardonically, pushing away a stray strand of brown hair that had come loose from her ponytail. A few people turned to stare, obviously thinking they would enjoy a free public spectacle.

"It's just that… You must be _very _diligent to finish up all that on a free day. Have boys and dates gone out of date already? Or maybe nobody _wants _to date you since you've become such a dork." Maxine and her friends laughed, but Sirius didn't move. 

Was Lily hallucinating…or did she just see a flicker of sadness in his eyes?

"At least I never need to wear supertight tops and skirts that couldn't even cover my butt just so I could get real attention from guys," Chase shot back scathingly. Lily cheered inwardly. _You go, Chase._

Maxine's cheeks tinged slightly pink. "Dream on, Tarlise. If you think _you're_ harboring any wolf whistles whenever you pass by a crowd, then you are seriously delusional," she spat.

Chase laughed a mirthless, cold laugh. "So this is what that stereotypes about blondes being dumb means," she muttered. Maxine's friends gave her death glares. "The only reason people whistle after your half-naked frame is because they're _mocking _you, Eamon," she retorted. "Nobody else would mistake Hogwarts' castle as an enormous, sleazy nightclub to parade in for ten months. That is, aside from you and your friends." A few people whistled and clapped.

"How dare you," Maxine screeched with narrowed eyes.

Chase smirked, but her eyes were still filled with pain as she watched Sirius move protectively closer to Maxine. "I'm stating a known fact. If I ask people to choose which of us is telling the truth, you defending yourself and me proclaiming that you are the most bastardly, bitchy female sex symbol in Hogwarts, who do you think everyone would believe?"

"Shut up, Tarlise," Maxine hissed at her ominously. "Or I _will_ make sure that the rest of your school year would be a living hell for you."

"I'm shaking with fear," Chase shot back, her voice dripping with hate and sarcasm. "And what are you going to do to me, do a spell on me that would apply the thousands of layers of makeup you wear everyday on my face?"

"I won't forget this," Maxine said in a low voice, turning around to stalk away.

"Yeah, that's right. Run away…whore," Chase called after her. People around them snickered.

"That's it!!!" Sirius yelled, turning back around and charging at Chase. Lily ran toward them.

"What the _bloody hell _do you think you're doing?!" Chase yelled as Sirius pinned her against the wall, pointing the tip of his wand to her neck. It was a good thing that the Ancient Runes professor had left five minutes ago and didn't witness this.

"Don't ever insult Maxine again!" Lily heard Sirius bark at her as sparks flew from the tip of his wand, causing shallow cuts to appear on Chase's neck.

Chase pushed him away, her eyes burning with the wounds he had inflicted and with the fact that he would go to all lengths just to hurt her. Her. His girlfriend. Maxine and her friends smirked, clearly thinking they had won. The spectators gasped as blood started to trickle down from Chase's cuts in droplets.

Chase muttered a spell under her breath which caused the wounds to close up. Sirius pointed his wand at her again to hurl another curse. 

_"Anguinio!" _he shouted, and Chase dodged the curse. 

"Stop it, Sirius!" Lily screamed at him, finally reaching them and wrenching the wand out of Sirius's grasp. She slapped him hard and he recoiled.

"Lil! What are you doing--" he started to say, but Lily cut him off.

"How could you ever attempt to hurt Chase! You stupid, two-timing freak!" she cursed him, dragging him farther from Maxine.

"What are you talking a--"

"Just shut up and we'll see what James and Remus will say about this! How could you do that to her, she never even did anything wrong--"

"It's okay, Lil," Chase spoke up behind them. Lily dropped her hand, which was pulling Sirius. Sirius rubbed his arm, wincing. 

Chase's eyes hardened as she stared defiantly at Sirius. "If he couldn't fight a potion that would make him fall in love with somebody like _her_, then he really wouldn't be worthy to love from the start," she said flatly. She brushed past Lily, who didn't quite believe what she had just said.

_"Furnunculus! Tressin Miasitica! Apprio Mutilus!" _Lily hurled all kinds of hexes at Maxine and her sidekicks, who ran away with their hair turning into live worms that stuck to their scalps and scabs appearing on their skin. Their shrieks echoed as they went farther away. _Three more days, Chase, _she promised. _Three more days and I swear I'll murder her by then. Even before those Slytherin scum._

*****

"There! Leave it for half an hour and it'll be complete!" James exclaimed, putting the antidote's cauldron on top of a floating flame.

"Did you make it spill-proof yet?" Peter asked cautiously, peering at the purple concoction.

"Spill-proof, leak-proof, unnecessary-added-stuff-proof, other-people-attempting-to-drink-it-proof, and fade-proof," James confirmed. 

"In a word, foolproof," Remus added.

"Gee, thanks, Mr. English whiz," James said. He crouched down, looking into his trunk where he had safely kept the potion, inspecting it carefully.

"Don't mention it," Remus deadpanned.

James sat up straight. "Wait, we have to keep Sirius in here until he drinks it, remember? He can't be running off to Maxine, he needs to drink the potion at the exact moment the moon rises--" 

"That's not stated in the books," Remus protested, flipping open a gigantic hardbound.

"Yeah, I just said that so you wouldn't witness the final stage," James said with an evil grin. Remus threw his wand at the back of James's head, and it bounced off, landing into James's trunk.

"Hey, watch it!" James warned, picking up the wand carefully. "Keep that lycanthropic adrenaline in check, Werewolf Boy."

Half a week had passed, and the potion was finally finished. The marauders had carefully planned it, triple-checking if they had done the whole procedure right. Inside the dimly-lit room, they (at least James) made the final preparations.

"Where is Sirius, anyway?" Peter asked.

"Think Celes and Lil hunted him down," James said absentmindedly, shutting the trunk closed and locking it with a gazillion spells.

"Whoa, aren't you laying it a little too thick there, Jamie?" Remus asked as James conjured thick chains out of thin air.

"Nope, it needs all the protection it can get," James remarked. "And we're going to have the man of the next twelve hours to guard it for us."

"Sirius?" Remus and Peter said at the same time.

"Yep," James said. "He's the drinker, he should look after his own potion. We did most of the other stuff anyway."

The door opened a crack and light streamed in. "Here he is!" Lily's voice invaded the quiet of the room and she pushed Sirius in. Celeste followed quickly behind and Lily came in last, slamming the door. 

"Good! Where's Chase?" Remus asked them.

"In the library, tutoring some kid or other," Lily replied. "Honestly I can't get her. She already has all these homework and Quidditch as is, but she still goes on helping little kiddos with theirs."

"She has to preoccupy herself with that stuff since she's _stressed,_" Celeste pointed out. "Where have you been, Lil? Haven't you read the latest issue of _Witch Weekly_? It's right there, on the test about--"

"Blah, blah, blah," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Chase is _never _stressed."

"Yeah? Well, you've never gone out with somebody you said you couldn't stand either," Celeste countered.

"She went out with Snape?!" James cried angrily.

"Don't be insulting!" Lily answered. "I did nothing of the sort!"

"I meant you, dummy," Celeste chuckled at James, lightly punching him on the shoulder. 

"I am _not_ a dummy," James disputed. 

"Let's just get down to business, okay?" Remus interrupted them. "Sirius, you stay here and watch over Jamie's trunk--"

"What for?" 

"He--er--I mean, we made a really important potion that would fool the Slytherins," Peter stuttered.

"How?" Sirius asked curiously.

"We'll tell you later!" James put in. "Right now you have to watch it for us. Don't let _any_body lay a hand on it, okay?"

"Except us," Lily added. "And keep the room darkened. This is really important, Siri. Don't let us down!" And she bounced out of the room.

"We're pretty perky today, aren't we?" Celeste asked her sardonically.

"Don't flatter yourself. We're going to get the real Sirius back in twelve hours," Lily whispered as soon as they went out of the dormitory. "Wait until Chase sees him!"

"Happy, happy, joy, joy," Celeste said without enthusiasm. 

"Ha ha. We'll get the real joy as soon as Maxine gets a sight on him," Lily said devilishly.

"Yeah!" Celeste's eyes instantly sparkled. "That girl is asking for some serious beating."

"Not just some," Lily added. "C'mon! Are you going to help me list down some hexes to teach her with or what?"

"Right behind you, sergeant!" Celeste said with mock salute.

"That's the spirit," said Lily.

*****

It was late. There were still two hours until Sirius could drink the potion, so James decided to take a stroll around the castle to get his mind off things. McGonagall would have screamed her head off if she found out that James was walking around after dark, but this time he didn't need to be cautious. 

This time he had an Invisibility Cloak. 

His dad had sent it to him right after he had found out that Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup. It had arrived this morning, when everyone was still asleep. He had promised Sirius he'd take him with him on his first ever trip…but given the circumstances, he had to break that. 

As he rounded the corner, a chilly air swooped past him. He turned around and realized it wasn't the wind at all--it was Peeves.

"Who's there?" Peeves cackled, turning upside-down in an Indian-style position. "Don't try and hide, now, Peeves knows you're there even if you're unseen…" He gave a gleeful laugh and spun around before righting himself and narrowing his eyes at where James was standing. 

"Shhh, Peeves, it's just me," James hissed. He whirled around as a yellow light, probably a lamp, headed their way. Apollyon Pringle was probably doing his nightly rounds.

"Why, it's pottery Potter, isn't it? Me thinks we should report misbehaving students, yes…"

"Quiet, Peeves, Pringle's coming," James said, quieter this time. 

"Thought you were going to be more well-behaved this year, I heard you then," Peeves cackled on. Apollyon Pringle stood in the end of the hall. 

"I think I hear voices here, Precious," he told to his cat, and walked toward them. 

Luckily the hall was wide and spacious, and James easily avoided colliding with the caretaker. His heart rate sped up slightly as Precious the cat looked his way, sniffing. 

"Peeves, have you seen any students out of bed now?" Apollyon asked him.

Peeves grinned in a way like Sirius did. "Maybe, maybe not," he singsonged.

"Come now, Peeves, this is serious," Pringle said, a bit annoyingly. 

"Isn't Peeves job to look out for unruly delinquents, sir, it certainly isn't," Peeves mocked. He spun around again and knocked over a vase sitting on a hall side table. A loud crash rent the air.

"That was a priceless antique! Peeves, the Headmaster will hear of this!!!" Pringle cried, chasing after an amused poltergeist. "Come back here, you imprudent, wrecking abomination!" His words reverberated down the whole corridor, and James made a mental note to thank Peeves later. Or maybe tomorrow.

_This looks familiar… _James said, peering around him. An ancient-looking purple tapestry hung, covering a good part of the wall. He had been here before, he realized. There had once been a time when he found a hidden room with the enigmatic book in it, but he had heard that opening books like that in a long-undiscovered place was _not _a good idea. But what the hey? He could use a little adventure for tonight. (yep, the first scene in Chapter 4…)

He pulled back the tapestry, and there it was: the carving of a hippocampus. 

"We meet again," the hippocampus spoke. "But care you remember, what is the word for entry?"

"Marauders," James said, inclined to laugh at the hippocampus' formality. But the action seemed inappropriate somehow…what with the sudden ominous feeling in the air. 

The hippocampus split in half, and since James had unlocked the door last time, his entry was fairly easy. It looked the same as before; the same beaten old couch and the weird-looking book that seemed to suck up all the air in the place. James crept toward it cautiously, making sure that the door was firmly closed behind him. 

_"Lumos," _he murmured, and the small light cast an eerie air in the room. James felt vaguely like the lead actor of a horror movie. 

The six-point star glittering on the front of the cover interested him. He poked the book with his wand. It didn't seem to look threatening, but it didn't look quite ordinary either.

Shrugging, he decided to get it over with and opened the book using his wand. The pages flipped several times and landed on a blank section, the pages strangely white and spotless. Even the edges were smooth and untouched. But James knew he had left this ages ago. Shouldn't the book have yellowed a bit during that time? Then again, what if it had been here for longer than months?

He didn't have time to decipher those questions as words appeared on the left page. He squinted as the words blurred slightly before straightening. Just like the six-point star, they shimmered in a queer blue ink.

_Tsalto nlli wenec shcaek eesu oyasne vetub_

_Tsape rutuft neserp sega pymnid nifl liwu oy_

_Ebot ma erdu oyl lani atno ci_

_Ees ton nacsreh tot ahwu oywo shi_

(lol JK style)

"What the hell does _this_ mean?" James muttered, moving closer to look at the words. But they didn't waver or change. 

"Argh, better just leave it alon--" he said in frustration, but suddenly the pages disappeared and a mixture of colors swirled across the two pages. And then he saw it.

He blinked, clearly this was an illusion. But it was still there. Right on the page was a very familiar scene… the boys' dormitory, to be exact. And there was Sirius, sitting on a stool beside James's trunk and passing the time by conjuring glittery balls of fire and choreographing a dance for them (don't ask me how fireballs dance…). 

_There's Sirius…maybe this book shows things that are happening in the present in some other place…_

He glanced at his watch. One and a half hour until Sirius had to take the potion! He had to make himself scarce, and fast. "Uh-oh, gotta get goi--"

But the picture of the moving Sirius in the dim dormitory dissolved and another took its place. It showed a black-haired boy with glasses, probably about seven year old, mounting a broom with a man that seemed like an adult replica of him standing beside him and appearing to be coaching him. James remembered that day, the day he first learned to fly…

A loud explosion outside, probably Peeves' doing, jolted him from his memories. Without a second thought, he grabbed the book, pulled on his cloak, and left the room. Wait till the guys found out about his latest discovery…

*****

It was almost 11:30 p.m., half an hour before the others said they would come back. Sirius had stayed perched on that stool beside James's trunk for apparently two hours straight, though he didn't know exactly why. It was probably a spell of James's or Remus's doing…but right now Sirius was too bored to care. 

He glanced at James's trunk curiously. What kind of potion _was _in there? James didn't tell him, but it must be really important for them to guard it so securely. Sirius was just passing the remaining time trying to guess the name of the potion and its spell effects when--

The door opened a crack and a suspicious-looking person came in, tiptoeing across the room, towards James's trunk. _Intruder alert!!! _Sirius's brain screamed. He jumped off his stool and shouted all the curses that could come into his head.

_"Diminon! Bicud Dullia! Parasitus! Tenaculi! Leguminium Cochius!" _

The 'intruder' stopped short as the first few hexes hit him. "Argh! Sirius--"

_"Racilius! Oculi Oredon! Stupefy!" _Sirius kept shouting until he was sure that the intruder was subdued. He rolled over the thief, who was lying face first on the floor. He gasped when he found who it was.

"JAMES?!" he shouted. He was severely hexed, his ears four times their larger size, green leafy rigid stuff protruding from his head, his glasses broken as his nose had exceeded the size of even Snape's, one of his eyes shrank smaller than a lima bean…and that was just for his face….

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, really I am, James," Sirius said in a panicked voice. "Please…don't be mad, WELL, WHAT D'YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, STEALING FROM YOUR OWN TRUNK?!!! THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU COULD EVER DO--" 

"I mean," he said hastily when James groaned, "I'm sorry…I apologize… Are you okay, James? No, of course you're not… Here, I'll reverse everything…don't hex me back, please don't hex me back…"

_"Finite Incantatem," _he whispered, and slowly all of his hexes faded away. James was still unconscious though. Sirius groaned. "Oh no, he's going to kill me when all this is over…" He dragged James to his bed and left him there as a few fungus things disappeared from his hands. It was then that Sirius noticed the book.

He crept cautiously up to it, as if afraid it was going to pounce on him. _Well, if Jamie brought it up here, it must be safe, _his inner voice reasoned. _He wouldn't just bring a dusty mysterious ancient book up here just for the sake of looking at it as if it were a magical artifact--_

His thoughts were interrupted as the book flipped open by itself, stopping at a page just before the very middle one. Sirius peered at it, it--it showed something he didn't quite remember in his head…but he could feel his heart beating faster as he watched…

It was a scene of him and that girl who had trashed Maxine in the hall full of a bunch of people… It was her…with _him. _It must have been around the Christmas season because they were throwing snowballs at each other and laughing. He saw himself bewitching some snowballs so that they would automatically head straight for her, and she just did the same to him and by the end of it they were extremely wet. James and Lily suddenly appeared in the background, smiling as they stared at them. Who was _she? _Why was she with him, when she was Maxine's enemy, the one who he heard Maxine whisper to him who was so blatantly evil to her right before she burst into tears?

But the girl didn't look much like a villain to him in that picture. She seemed…happy. Her turquoise blue eyes twinkled as she laughed, and she looked pretty. Way more than Maxine ever could be, even without the makeup…

Suddenly the door cracked open, and Sirius shoved the book under his bed. Remus, Peter, Celeste and Lily appeared in the doorway, smiling at him. What was going on?

"C'mon, Sirius, this is the moment of truth," Lily said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She dashed over to James's trunk and had to say "Alohomora" about a gazillion times before it opened. She carefully took the potion out.

"Drink up!" Peter said as Lily carefully brought the potion to them.

"What are you talking about? I'm not going to drink that--you said that was for the prank--and I'm not going to be the guinea pig for your jokes--"

"Shh, this'll make you remember everything," Celeste said soothingly.

Remember…the dark brown-haired girl with the sparkling eyes…Chase, her name was. But he couldn't try to remember, his head was starting to hurt…

Lily pinched his nose and held it there as she forced him to drain the whole flask of potion. It tasted funny, but it didn't taste bad. A swirl of color spun as he looked around at them, a swirl of colors flashed in his head--scenes of the things they said he should remember. But they suddenly disappeared, with the last scene of Chase laughing and smirking in amusement at what he just said--then all became black.

*****

The sun was shining brightly outside. The birds were chirping sweetly…but Chase felt none of the happy-cheery feelings of nature as she flung herself out of bed and dragged herself to the shower. _Beautiful morning, my ass, _she cursed to herself. She wasa morning person, usually anyway. But something was bothering her today. Today was the day that Sirius, as Lily told her, was officially back to normal. 

She felt the tears sting her eyes as the water pounded against her back. She knew it was just the potion that made him do what he did, but that was beside the point. He still hurt her--even physically. She knew it was stupid--and irrational--to wallow over guy problems. She couldn't stand those fashion magazines that Celes insisted she read. Where Celeste lectured her on reading her books and finishing her homework--mostly in Transfiguration--on time, she in turn would lecture Celeste to stop being such a 'stereotypical follow-the-crowd popular princess' and face the reality that fashion magazines do _not _solve everything, if anything at all. 

Chase sighed as she toweled off. And today was one of the worst days ever…even if it was Friday, they had double Transfiguration first and second period, and she couldn't stand Transfiguration. Not that she didn't like McGonagall or anything, but she just hated the damn subject. She laughed inwardly as she remembered her conversation with Lily long ago…not that it mattered. She still sucked at changing things into another.

The other four girls were still asleep--no wonder, it was so early. Celeste and Lily must have spent the whole night hanging out in the boys' dormitory, celebrating Sirius's 'coming-to' and discussing how they would make sure the two of them could stay together--yeah, right. It would take a powerful Memory Charm to make Chase forget what Sirius did to her…or at least a potion that would wipe out all the wounds in her heart. (Yuck, I can't believe I just wrote something love-related corny…sorry, but I'm not used to this and I hate it.)

She got dressed into her black robes, slipped her leather boots on and swiped her hat from the hat stand as she left the room. Maybe she could eat an early breakfast today and finally finish her Transfiguration report--she still hadn't managed to polish her work last night. 

The Great Hall was nearly empty except for a few early-morning freakaziods who routinely woke up at the break of dawn everyday. She sat down alone on the Gryffindor table (the early birds consisted most from Hufflepuffs) and watched as the plates magically piled with food. She was just spearing bacon with her fork when a voice came behind her.

"Is this seat taken?"

She felt her insides freeze up, but she was too…what, angry? No, she never was. Hurt? But that was stupid, it was just a potion… Chase couldn't quite figure out what exactly she was feeling and groped for a response.

"It's not like anyone's going to wrestle you for it," she said indifferently as Sirius laughed and sat beside her. How could he just look like they were friends again? Was she supposed to magically forget all the pain he had caused her--all the hateful tears she shed just because of him? She wasn't supposed to cry--she hated crying, and she hated it when people cried. Just like Celeste did at the end of each school year… It was a sign of weakness, weakness that a person couldn't handle their feelings on something. At least Celeste had a sensible reason, but Chase hadn't, it was just over a boy…

"So where are Lily and Celeste?" Sirius asked in a normal tone. Didn't sound much like the furious bastard that he was when he swore he'd curse her for calling Maxine a whore.

"Still asleep," Chase said evenly, not giving him the satisfaction of eye contact that would assure him that she wasn't mad. 

"Oh," said Sirius, his usually confident tone faltering as he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He barely ate as he talked. This was strange. Chase usually couldn't drag him away from all the colossal amounts of food he accumulated in ten gigantic dinner plates. And that was just breakfast. 

Chase finished her bacon and eggs and stood up. 

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, standing up as well. 

"I'm going to finish my Transfiguration homework," Chase answered coolly. She slung her backpack over her shoulder.

"I'll help you," he said quickly. "I finished mine already--"

"Thanks, but the rest is pretty easy," she interrupted, forcing a smile. "Later," she muttered.

"Wait!" Sirius called, jogging up to her. "Listen, Chase. I'm really sorry, it was just the potion and you know I never meant any of it, honest--"

"I know that," Chase said, walking faster. "I know it isn't your fault--"

"And you know I'd never hurt you, it was just that whore Maxine and all her bitchy antics--"

That made Chase crack a smile. "She is that," she admitted, a little less uncaringly.

"Yeah, and I promise that we'll give her what she deserves for trying to do that to--" 

Sirius stopped short as Maxine entered the Hall. For a moment Chase thought that the reversing potion really didn't work, after all, it was just made by a bunch of bright fourth years. 

Maxine narrowed her eyes as they landed on Sirius and Chase--together. She walked over to them, her face taut, but she gave Chase a triumphant smile. Clearly she thought the love potion was still taking effect.

"Come, Siri, it's time for breakfast," she cooed in a sugary voice.

Instead of following her, Sirius eyed her up and down with disgusted disdain. "And why the bloody hell do you think I would do that?" he said in an icy voice. 

Maxine took a step back. She mustn't have expected him to say that. Chase smirked. So the resident prostitute had gotten the shock of her life. Quite a dose of karmic medicine to start off the day.

"W-what are you talking about, Sirius? Don't you remember what she did? She-she insulted me in front of all those people yesterday!" Maxine stuttered with a nervous laugh, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder in what she thought was a flirtatious way. 

"I don't care if Chase said anything about you. As far as I know, if she does say anything, it's probably true," Sirius snarled at her. Maxine's eyes widened with fear. 

"How can you say that to me?" she whispered in disbelief. Then she glanced at Chase. "How can you come back to her?"

Chase just stood there, her eyes finally regaining the sardonic twinkle from long ago, back when all this hadn't happened. "Beggars can't be choosers, Eamon," she said. "You'll be lucky if you can even find someone decent. Why don't you crawl back to those nerds that you must have copulated with just so they'll make a love potion for you?"

"You arrogant little b--" Maxine started to say with slit eyes. 

"You're the only bitch around here, Eamon," Sirius said, stepping between them before Maxine could finish her sentence.

Maxine's eyes stared quizzically at him with a mixture of disbelieving amazement and shock that he could speak so harshly to her. She jumped back and started to stalk away, looking like a wounded puppy. Her lackeys trailed after her, occasionally looking back at Sirius as if expecting him to blurt out that he was kidding. 

"Thanks," Chase said, smiling genuinely for the first time in weeks.

"Don't mention it," Sirius said back. Hopefully…he thought, they were back. Where they belonged.

*****

That night the marauders were in the dormitory. Sirius was poring through the extremely thick prank book that Chase had given him. He hadn't had a chance to open it yet, thanks to Maxine.

Remus was teaching Peter how to do the Sapient Charm. He still couldn't quite get it done after a while, and Remus had to use Sirius as a tester.

"Hey guys--the atomic mass of oxygen is 1.5999 x 101--look at this--double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble--prank that I--density equals mass over volume--found on this page--Sn = a/r-- Quit it, Remus--Naught's had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content-- I told you to stop already-- When the hurly-burly's done, when the battle's lost and won-- Stop, I say, or I'll really hex you-- What's done cannot be undone-- _Finite Incantatem_!" 

Remus laughed. "See? Now you try it, Pete, it's really easy--"

Sirius slammed his book shut and grabbed his wand from the bedside table. "No way! You stupid werewolf, I'll teach you how to--"

"You should be in a play, Sirius, you recite Macbeth quite well," Remus observed.

"Who's Macbeth?" asked James, who was muttering some sort of incantation that obviously controlled the movements of the scenes in the book.

"A Muggle fiction character created by Shakespeare," Remus explained. "What're you looking at there?"

"The girls' dormitory," James replied.

"The _showers?_" Peter asked in disbelief.

"Jamie's a pervert," Sirius spoke up from his bed.

"Don't be a prat, Peter, why would I want to do something like that?" James asked, though his face was beet red.

"Because you want to see Lil's body," Sirius smirked. James threw a Martin Miggs comic book at him.

"If there's a pervert between the two of us it's you, Padfoot," James retorted.

Sirius grinned devilishly. "Oh yeah? Then whose magazines were under Peter's bed, the ones that focused on--"

"Shhh!" Remus said, waving at Martin, who was asleep on his bed.

James grinned too. "Y'know, I think I'm starting to notice something about our horny werewolf--"

"That wasn't me!" Remus protested.

"Yeah, right. And Sirius is Snape's best friend," James quipped. 

"Whatever you think, it wasn't me," Remus said, throwing up his hands. "C'mon, Pete, I think you're getting the hang of it."

"Changing the subject," Sirius accused with a glint of amusement in his dark blue eyes.

Remus was about to retaliate when James suddenly said, "Hey, Chase is leaving the dorm."

"So?" was Remus's grumpy response.

"I think she looks angry about something…" James trailed off.

Remus glanced at Sirius. "Well, it's obvious what she's so mad about, then," he laughed as Sirius scowled at him. 

"That's okay, Sirius, just pour on all that lovey-dovey mushy sayings on how you can't live without her when she's mad, girls love that kinda stuff," James advised in a mocking tone.

"Maybe it works on Lily, but Chase isn't a typical femme fatale, James," Remus said with a smirk.

"Yeah, she hates mush and sentimentality," Peter chimed in. 

James scowled. "Well duh, I was teasing Sirius, you morons. Can't you tell a joke when you hear one?"

"Sorry. Do you know that your 'extremely obvious' funny jokes are actually subtle and hard to decipher, Mr. All Around Comedian?" Sirius asked him.

"Whatev--" James started to counter, but he looked back at the book. "That's weird…a phoenix just flew into the room…"

His three friends burst into laughter. "Yeah, right, James. Now that's really funny. Everybody knows that phoenixes are rare, Dumbledore even got Fawkes from a faraway tropical country, they're not going to swoop in on Hogwarts by the flock," Sirius teased.

"No, really, and it's got a letter attached to its leg… Celeste's opening it…"

"Well, read it then!" Sirius said impatiently, though he didn't look up from his prank book.

"Okay, okay, you should be lucky I figured out how to zoom in and out of scenes…" James muttered, saying a bunch of words that would make the letter larger.

Celeste started to read it--James still couldn't focus the scene on the letter--Celeste was turning pale as a ghost--what was that about? James said the controlling words furiously fast--the scene started to zoom in on the letter--

"HOLY SHIT!!!" 

His three friends looked up imperceptibly, stunned.

"What? What is it?" Remus asked in concern.

"It's--it's Chase…" James said, paling slightly.

"Chase?! What happened to her? Did she get hurt?" Sirius exclaimed anxiously. "Oh no. She left the room a while ago, didn't she? What if those Slytherin thugs attacked her? What if--"

"What happened, James?" Peter interrupted Sirius.

James just stared down at the book in his lap. The three marauders hurriedly crept away from their posts to look…

*****

AN - Gotta--hate--cliffhangers… -_- School sucks…I must've filled three whole pages of math notebook paper writing s-c-h-o-o-l s-u-c-k-s on the little boxes during math class… I've got to figure out an excuse to make my parents believe that my fanfic is--er--schoolwork. Wait, I know! "No mom…this _is _beneficial. It's supposed to improve my writing skills, not to mention my grammar and spelling… What? This is _not_ a Harry Potter fanfic…it's about the _marauders, _okay? M-A-R-A-U-D-E-R-S _marauders_… there's not a single mention of a Harry Potter in this story! See? Yeah, I know that witchcraft is bad and everything… No, I'm not reading the books anymore, I finished all of them already… What? _Burn_ them? Are you out of your mind?!!! I mean, don't burn them, you're going to waste a whole lot of money… Right. Read the Bible, read the Bible, read the Bible…read Harry Potter--kidding…_renounce_ Harry Potter and magic (say what? The hell with--). I didn't say anything mom…really…jeez, do I have to read the _whole _Bible? Waaaaiitt!!! Don't throw them in the fire!!! Okay, okay, I'm reading the Bible already (grumble grumble). Fine! But I already told you that this isn't a _Harry Potter _story, it's the _marauders_, there's a big difference… Besides, if I don't keep writing, my grades in Communication Arts would greatly and dramatically falter… Now, you wouldn't want _that _to happen, would you?" 

That went well… as usual I am desperate for reviews… so…review. I must've written that word so may times, it doesn't look like a word anymore… R-E-V-I-E-W… Weird, it doesn't really look like a word…


	20. Positively Platonic

**Disclaimer: **I-don't-own-_anything! _Except Chase and Celeste and the plot and Ridgewood and Erin and Keith and…oh well, I guess I do own something after all… 

AN – Blondes are not dumb. I'm sorry if I forgot to say that in chap 19! It was a stereotypical reference to blondes, which obviously just means that the people who assigned stereotypes were very prejudiced against them…wait, I'm just making things worse, am I? Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone (sorry especially to NicolaPadfoot…I know you overlooked it, thanx), but sometimes (more like always) I'm a total airhead at this stuff. 

Chapter 20: Positively Platonic 

"What happened, James?" Peter asked urgently. Sirius dropped his book and practically hurled himself to James's bed. Remus picked himself up off the floor and pounced onto James's other side. Peter hurriedly scampered over to them too. After a while of staring at the book, they exchanged quizzical glances.

"Uh, James? Chase is standing right there," Remus said uneasily. If James was having delusions, then--

"There's nothing wrong with her," Peter added. "See? She's smirking and laughing and standing there and—well, she looks normal."

"Is this another attempt for a joke?" Sirius said as he went back to his bed and started reading his book again. 

James didn't respond for a while, his eyes still wide. "Noooo, you dolts, you didn't see it…"

"Now you're acting scary," Peter said uneasily. 

"Here it is," James whispered almost inaudibly. Peter gasped. 

"Merlin's beard!" Remus said aloud. Sirius, by reflex action, jumped out of his bed and crashed into James.

"Whatisitwhatisitwhatisit?!!!" he exclaimed, grabbing the book. He dropped it a few seconds later. "I can't believe it…"

"_See, _I _told _you," James wheezed. Sirius sat up properly. 

"She's an _Animagus,_" Peter said, quite in awe.

"She can turn into a _phoenix,_" Remus amended in the same tone.

"And she never _told_ us!" James shouted. Martin woke with a start.

"Huh? What are you guys doing?" he said in a sleepy voice.

"Er…nothing, Martin, go back to sleep," Remus said quickly. He muttered something and pointed his wand at Martin, who immediately dropped back onto his pillow, snoring loudly.

"I can't believe Chase is an Animagus, and she didn't tell us," James whispered to them furiously. "Here we are, working hard to turn into animals at will while she can do it already! She could've helped us, she could've told us how to do it easily, she could've—"

"Kept it a secret?" Remus suggested.

James glared at him. "Keep it a secret! Why should she, when it's supposed to help us? When it's supposed to help _you?_ You don't keep those kinds of secrets! That's selfish, that is utterly parsimonious—"

"Say what?" Sirius asked, snapping out of his funk.

"I'm going up there," James announced, ignoring Sirius. "And I'm going to ask her how long she's been an Animagus and how come she hasn't registered herself on the roster--"

"James, calm down, that was what we were planning to do too, remember? We have to be Animagi, but we can't register because we have to _keep it secret,_" Peter said reasonably. 

"She must have some reason to keep it from us," Sirius said.

"Or maybe it means she doesn't _trust _us?" James interjected.

"Give her a break! She's only gotten to know us in months, James!" Sirius argued. "Even you wouldn't totally trust me in just a year just because we're friends."

"I don't think I fully trust you yet until now," James said. Sirius whacked him upside the head with his book.

"See? So that means that she has every right _not_ to tell us—yet," Remus told them. 

"Fine, I am officially convinced that she's innocent, now can we go to the girls' dormitory?" James asked. "We still have to ask her how she did it so that we can get the hang of it already—"

"James, no," Remus said sternly. "And what are we supposed to tell her when she asks us how we found out? That we were watching them through an old book?"

"Oh, she won't care. Besides, what's she going to do to us? Hurl a Memory Charm?" James said, waving his hand.

"I do think that Chase is perfectly capable of casting a Memory Charm on us James," Sirius pointed out.

"Say what you want, I'm going up there," James said firmly, leaping up from his bed and sliding the old book under his bed. 

"We-ell, if he's going, then I might as well go too," Sirius admitted to them, following James.

"I'll come with you!" Peter squeaked.

Remus sighed. _Well, you know what they say. If you can't beat them, join them…and head straight for the gallows._

*****

"Eeewwww! _Wilkes_ has a crush on you? That's disgusting! You better give him a Hate Potion, Celes," Lily laughed after she read the parchment letter.

"That's not all. I heard a bunch of Slytherin girls talking about how Nealson fancies _you_, Lil," Chase laughed. She had flown to the Slytherin Tower and cast an Invisibility Charm on herself to steal the letter from Wilkes' bedside table. Then she had stayed for a while in the dungeon common room just for the fun of it. She found out some very handy information on the Slytherins that she could blackmail them with when they even dared to attack Gryffindors… She was no gossipmonger, but somehow Celeste talked her into it—something she probably wouldn't ever do again after all of her sister's 'dares.' 

"No way! Ugh, why do they have to fancy us, when we're supposed to be archrivals? Aren't the girls in their House enough?" Lily said with disgust.

"Probably because the girls there are so ugly," Celeste said, brushing her long brown locks. 

Chase dug around her trunk for and withdrew several bars of chocolate. Her crystal ball for Divination spilled out as she brought her arm out of the trunk and it rolled around on the floor.

"We've got company," she observed, picking up the foggy ball in her hands.

"How'd you know?" Lily asked.

Chase pointed at the orb before throwing it back into her trunk. "Divining, what else?" 

"You actually _see_ something in there?" Lily said incredulously.

"Hey, _Sirius_ sees stuff in crystal balls, so why shouldn't I?" Chase defensively replied, unwrapping a chocolate bar. "Want one?" she asked both of them, holding out a couple of pieces.

"No thanks," Celeste promptly refused. "That stuff will stay on my hips forever."

Chase smirked. "Unlucky you. I actually lose weight when I eat this stuff," she said, taking a bite. "And I never get any zits too…" she added as she swallowed.

"Showoff," Celeste muttered, balling up the letter in her hands and incinerating it in a conjured ball of fire. 

The door burst open and the four marauders came in. It made a pretty loud crash as wood collided with cement.

"Jeez, the least you could do is act like proper guests and _not_ obliterate the door," Lily complained, rubbing at her ears after the loud impact.

"Sorry," Remus said quickly. "See, James here was going to ask—"

"Why you never told us you were an Animagus!!!" James interjected accusatorily at Chase.

Chase's mouth dropped open and she slowly turned at Lily. "You didn't—?"

"I swear I would never," Lily said before she could finish, sitting up straight and looking surprised herself. Celeste reflected the same expression of shocked disbelief on her face.

"You _knew_?" James howled at her, "You knew and you never told us?!"

"Please, James, you _said_ that you wouldn't get mad--" Peter interrupted worriedly.

"How'd you find out?" Chase inquired. Total silence.

"Uh-oh…" Sirius said under his breath. No one replied.

"How—did—you—know?" Chase repeated slowly, as if she were teaching a bunch of retarded preschoolers.

Silence again. "Well? Are you going to say that you're a bunch of psychics or something?! The fact that she's an Animagus can't have just popped in your mind!!!" Celeste demanded them.

"We—ah—I mean, James was the first to find out," Peter said timidly, uncertainly.

"How?" Celeste asked, looking beadily at James.

James took a deep breath. "Okay, so we found out, but we're not going to tell you how. I have as much right to ask her why she never told us before, when she already knows that Remus is a werewolf and we were planning on turning into Animagi ourselves—" 

"But we _figured out _that Rem was a werewolf," Chase pointed out. "And you were the ones who blurted out your Animagi plans to us, so—"

"_We_ told _you_, but _you _never told us that you were already one yourself!" James interrupted.

"And that bothers you because?" Chase challenged, arching an eyebrow.

"Because—because—well, it's not the kind of thing you keep from your friends when they already spilled all there is to say about them! It's not fair, and even though you have the supernormal ability to read people like open books doesn't mean that you can't say anything about yourself--"

"Yeah, but it's your own fault that you're a blabbermouth and you tell all your secrets to others when you don't even know them well enough yet," Chase said, her lips curling into a smirk.

"I am not a blabbermouth! That's a title reserved for girls!" James said irately to her.

"Yes, you are," Chase said slowly, her eyes twinkling. "And not all girls are blabbermouths, look at me and Lily--"

"That's because you're the most abnormally perfect person in Britain while Lily's…Lily," James finished.

"Celeste is a blabbermouth," Lily piped up.

"No I'm not!" Celeste admonished, glaring at Lily.

"Yes you are," Chase, Lily and James said in unison.

"Traitors," Celeste muttered darkly. "Subversive, treasonous, perfidious double-crossers."

"Thank you," James said.

"But _how did you find out?_" Chase repeated for the third time that night. "Jeez, if you're half as smart as you say you are, how come you can't answer a simple question? And I think I have the right to say that _I _deserve an explanation."

Remus sighed. "James found this weird book in a secret passage and he figured out how to work it. It's a magical book that shows scenes from the present and past, but we're not sure about it showing the future. He was looking at the present scene in the girls' dormitory--"

"The girls' dormitory?! You pervert!" Lily cried at James, whacking his head with her wand.

"Ow! Why do you people always assume that I'm a pervert?!" James whined, rubbing his head.

"Because you _are_ one," Sirius said with a smirk.

"You are obviously much more of a pervert than I ever will be," James retaliated.

"Remus is the most horny," Sirius protested.

"No, you are," Remus disputed, glowering at Sirius. 

"I can't believe we fell in love with a band of perverts," Lily said, throwing her hands up. 

"You mean, you can't believe that you and Celeste fell in love with a couple of perverts," Chase corrected. The three boys were still bantering and didn't hear her. 

Lily's eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean--"

"Break it up, guys, if it'll make you feel better, you're _all_ perverts," Chase shouted at them. They immediately shut up. 

"Yeah, but _Remus _is still the most lecherous of all," Sirius said quietly, and Remus elbowed him in the ribs. "Ouch! Okay, okay, I take it back," Sirius grumbled. 

Celeste's hand flew to her mouth. "Omigod! I forgot my Charms homework in the classroom!"

"Why don't you just say _Accio homework _and it'll come flying to you?" Chase suggested lazily.

Celeste glared at her. "Then I'll just be bombarded with the whole school's homework, you idiot," she jibed.

"If you're so scared to perform a spell outside of class, then why don't you just haul your butt all the way to the Charms classroom and get it?" Chase shot back.

"It's too far away!" Celeste moaned.

"What do you expect to do to get it? Cry and whine and throw temper tantrums until it grows legs and walks half a mile to your bed?" Chase said in an annoyed tone.

Celeste's eyes brightened. "I know! You can just transform and--"

"I am _not_ going to be your personal delivery bird and do everything you say," Chase refused point-blank.

"But if you fly then you'll get there half the time--"

Chase rolled her eyes. "Stupid. Everybody knows that phoenixes are rare. What if Kettleburn finds me and catches me or something? Then I'd have to explain to the school and the Ministry of Magic how come I never registered myself all these years--"

"Pretty pleeeeeaaassse? I really need it, and if Flitwick finds out that I forgot my homework, he's going to think I'm lazy and irresponsible--"

"Good for you, finally there's gonna be a blot in the Schoharie escutcheon," Chase said lazily.

"Yeah, Celeste, don't be so shallow," Lily said. "I did mine in like ten seconds--"

"Only because you're the Charms ace of the whole fourth year," Celeste countered. "Besides, all my notes on the Loss Charm was on that, and we're having a quiz about it on Thursday!" 

"Then read Lily's, hers is the most detailed anyways," Sirius suggested. He and James had raided Chase's chocolate stash and were gobbling down a whole box of assorted confections.

"Hey, take the caramel-filled ones only, you greedy sweet-teeth," Chase warned them. 

"Awww, don't worry, we'll leave you all the low-fat stuff," James said seriously--well, as seriously as he could while stuffing a dark chocolate truffle into his mouth. "Like all the sugarless ones, that is."

Chase swiped the box from him and tilted all the chocolates into her hands. "Milk chocolate, milk chocolate with strawberry--yuck, you can have this one, James--milk chocolate with wine?--hey, you ate up all the dark chocolate!"

"Don't blame me, Sirius ate all of it," James said defensively. 

"Did not," Sirius protested. "That's bitter stuff, that is. You probably wolfed it all down."

"Chase, I need my Charms homework!" Celeste told her. 

"Ask Remus to come with you and tell you all the secret shortcuts to Charms," Chase answered, handing James a particularly large strawberry-filled piece of chocolate.

"But they're all dark and stuffy! Besides, they're filled with spiders, and I _hate _spiders," Celeste whined.

"I thought you hated cockroaches," Sirius said as he conjured a glass of water. 

"Yeah, them too," Celeste said, shivering. Chase and Lily exchanged smirks, remembering the night when Chase had set an army of roaches on Celeste to make her come out of the bathroom…

"It's not funny! And I still haven't thought of the most painful punishment to subject you under to pay back for that horrible prank you did, Chase!" Celeste shouted.

"What prank?" Remus, James and Sirius all asked in unison. Chase grinned.

"Great! Want me to do it again?" Chase offered, twirling her wand. _"Roacole--"_

"DON'T YOU EVEN DARE, CHASE SELENE TARLISE!!!" Celeste screamed.

_"--giona," _Chase finished, and almost immediately about a dozen cockroaches headed for Celeste. 

Celeste screamed, standing up to get away from the insects. _"Stupefy! Stupefy! Impedimenta! Stupefy!!!" _

All the guys had jumped onto Chase's and Lily's beds to avoid the onslaught of the creeping crawlies. 

Chase's eyes were sparkling like mad. "I know another spell. It's—"

"SHUT UP AND MAKE THEM ALL DISAPPEAR, YOU BLOODY EXCUSE OF A TWIN!!!" was the reply.

_"Arachnidium," _Chase said lazily. A single, enormous tarantula erupted from her wand, spiraling to Peter.

"Auugh!" Peter cried as the giant arachnid landed on his forearm. "Get it off, get it off!!!"

"Sorry Pete," Chase said with a smirk, waving her wand again and letting it ricochet to Celeste. 

"Quit it!" Celeste screamed. _"Incendio!"_

The spider burst into flames.

"Hey, I created that!" Chase exclaimed. 

Celeste gave her a death glare. "Find another hobby! Somewhere along the level of non-horribly-disgusting animals such as bunnies and cats and lovebirds. Or maybe you should try the only insect that isn't as hideous as everything else in its family known to man, the _butterfly._" 

Chase smirked. "Too girly. Besides, what's the point in scaring somebody out of their wits if you don't use crawling, hairy and poisonous antennae-toting species--"

"Shut up already," Lily told them, looking slightly ill. "Chase, just put your wand away and stop conjuring those monstrosities. Celeste, quit screaming your head off, it's just a harmless roach--"

"You just said it was a monstrosity," Sirius pointed out, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

Lily glared at him. "What-ever, Mr. I-am-Superior-to-All-of-You. I don't like them myself, but I _will _make them crawl up your nose if you don't stop acting like an intolerable know-it-all—"

"I'll stop now," Sirius said in a mock-somber voice.

"Chase, get me my Charms homework!" Celeste said exasperatedly. "You owe it to me after that army of roaches you conjured--"

"I'm trying to knock you out of your fear of six-and-eight-legged creatures," Chase said in pretend solemnity. "You should be grateful."

"Grateful?! Grateful that a bunch of filthy, germ-contaminated horrors almost crawled up my leg?! Are you crazy?!!!" Celeste stalked toward her, and Chase jumped off her bed and landed on the thing nearest it--the windowsill.

"Yeah, you should be," Chase said casually.

"And why should I?!" Celeste demanded.

Chase smiled. "Because they're right behind you."

All of the glass in Hogwarts may have well shattered from the decibel and pitch of Celeste's scream. Uncountable spiders of every shape, size and color trailed toward her; cockroaches ranging from the centimeter-long to 35-gram variety crawled shortly after the arachnids.

"I'LL KILL YOU! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, CHASE!!! _INCENDIO, STUPEFY, IMPEDIMENTA, FUMIGATIUS! _DON'T EVEN TRY TO--"

Too late. Chase had transformed back into a phoenix and had flown straight out of the room.

*****

James performed the Reticence Spell on Celeste, if only to make her shut up. Sirius and Remus set to work exterminating all the pests; Peter was too terrified to even lift his wand and had resorted to bolting out of the spider-and-roach infested room at light speed; and Lily was too busy laughing her head off to be of any help to anybody. A few moments later, when the two marauders had finally banished the last of the lot (and Lily had even thrown in a few spells of her own after managing to desist her giggles), footsteps were heard thundering up the staircase. 

The three marauders scrambled under different beds only just in time. Sirius's prefect sister stood in the doorway.

"What's all this noise about?" Cas demanded Lily and Celeste. Celeste started to speak but still had the silencing charm on her. Lily quickly performed the counter-charm to prevent Cas from suspecting anything.

"Nothing," Lily answered nonchalantly. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"I thought I heard screaming here a while ago…" Cas explained. "And I was on the _second floor _then."

"Oh! Then you must have heard it somewhere else. We can't possibly scream _that _loudly," Lily stated. "I mean, not even Celeste could--"

Sirius smirked. He had landed under Chase's bed, where he floor was littered with different sketches and half-used pencils. 

"--probably the Slytherins. Really, Cas, that's absurd," Celeste was saying. 

"Where's your sister?" Cas asked suspiciously. 

"Library, I think," Lily said casually. "She's got some research to do for--um--Transfiguration. Yeah, you know how she never does that stuff…"

"Oh, all right then," Cas said, finally looking resigned. "Have you seen Sirius? I hope he's not up to anything. My gut instinct's telling me that my little brother's about to do something that mum and dad would like to send a Howler for…" She left the room in a hurry, muttering darkly to herself.

Celeste peered around the doorway before turning back to them. "It's okay. She's gone now…" 

The marauders crawled out from under the beds. Barely five seconds later a phoenix swooped into the room.

"You!" Celeste screeched, swiping at the magical bird.

The phoenix was carrying something in its golden beak and dropped it on Celeste's bed. It then transformed into Chase. 

"That's the way you thank your sister who flew all the way to the Charms classroom to fetch your homework?" Chase asked, plopping down on her own bed.

"That's the way I thank you for conjuring a herd of gross insects and sending them after me," Celeste said grumpily.

"A _colony_ of gross insects," Lily corrected with a grin. 

"I have one question," Remus announced. "Since when did you become an Animagus?" he asked Chase.

Chase shrugged. "I dunno…since I was ten, I guess--"

"_Ten years old?!_" Sirius exclaimed. 

"Yeah, so?"

"You can't be an Animagus that young. It's supposed to be extremely hard--you can't just learn it form a book or something," James pointed out.

Chase smirked. "Right, but I got all the help I could get. Do you remember our lesson on Animagi last year, when McGonagall said that there were only seven Animagi in this century?"

All three (not including Celeste and Lily, and certainly not Peter since he already left) nodded. 

"One of them, Tamara Godwin, was a neighbor and the third youngest registered Animagi in a hundred years. She was pretty old then, about 80-something years or so…

"Anyway, when I was about eight, my dad had to start doing a lot more stuff at the Ministry and he dropped me off every weekday to Mrs. Godwin's house. She was a nice old woman, and she always told me stories about her animal transformation--"

"What animal could she turn into?" James asked with interest.

"A unicorn," Chase answered, looking at James as if daring him to make a wiseass comment. "Its skin was as silver as her hair. I asked her if it was hard to turn into an animal, and she just laughed. 'It's always hard the first few times,' she used to say, 'but once you get the hang of it, it's like coasting downhill.'"

"She said that anyone could be an animal at will if they wanted to, but they were too scared and didn't think they could do it because it was hard. She was the one who taught me how to turn into a—"

"But why did you want to turn into a phoenix, anyway?" Remus interrupted.

Chase appeared to be thinking for a moment. "Well, for one thing, they could fly," she stated. "When I started to really get it, about a year and a half later, Mrs. Godwin told me to practice it every night, it would take me four hours before I could turn into a phoenix—"

"_Just_ four hours?" James said in amazement.

Chase rolled her eyes. "Just four hours. Jeez, why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because you were a _ten-year-old,_" James deadpanned. 

"Mrs. Godwin was a full-fledged Animagus. She'd have made a fine teacher at human-to-animal transformations, but no one was brave enough to be her pupil," Chase amended.

"Except you," Sirius added.

"I was eight then. Kids usually jump into some things without thinking of it," Chase said matter-of-factly.

"Was it hard when you were learning how to be an Animagus?" Lily inquired. Chase had never gone this far when she told _her _that she was an Animagus.

"Of course it was, but Mrs. G showed me in a book that children were the most likely to learn animal transformation the fastest even if they aren't professional wizards. The ages ranging from two to nine are the times where a child's mind learns rapidly the most. The Ministry forbade parents to teach their children though, because they might be stimulated to show others what they could do and reveal our secret to the Muggles…"

"Then why did she teach you?" James prodded.

Chase scowled at him. "What is this, Twenty Questions? She taught me because I asked her to and I promised not to show any Muggles what I could do, and that she would register me when I could completely turn into an animal at will. She never got to register me because a few days before the week she promised we would go to the Ministry of Magic's headquarters, she was struck with Alzheimer's disease and was sent to a wizarding nursing home." 

"Oh," James said, taken aback. "Is she still…alive?" he asked in a much quieter tone.

"No," said Chase in a gloomy sort of voice, though it was probably because the old woman was almost like a grandmother to her. She owed her a lot. "She died a few months after that day. She had a brain tumor."

There was silence for a moment. Footsteps were barging up the stairs but none of them took any notice. The door was flung open and Cas came in.

"Aha! I knew you three were hiding in here!" she exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the marauders.

"So?" Sirius asked. He was starting to look a little less subdued at the sight of his sister.

"How did you find out?" Lily asked her curiously.

"I was testing a new Finding Charm in the common room," Cas replied. 

"Aahhhh, so you were _breaking a rule _then, dearest sis?" Sirius intoned superiorly with a sly smile.

Cas turned slightly pink. "What are you on abou—"

"No magic outside of class, remember?" James jumped in. "What a shame, a school prefect, defying the laws of the school…"

"Indeed," Sirius added, an expression of feigned disappointment on his face. "I would very much like to hear what mum and dad would say once they find out that perfect prefect Cas broke a school rule—"

"You wouldn't dare," Cas gasped, wringing her hands, her face paling.

Sirius tutted, shaking his head in feigned disappointment. "I know it's hard, but we all have to accept our mistakes," he said in the voice of an over-sympathetic counselor.

"Shut up, Sirius, you sound like an idiot," Lily said with a laugh. 

Sirius glared at her. "It's called 'feigning.' Look it up, you're the one who's an ignoramus—"

"I think I'll just go now…" Cas muttered, opening the door before Sirius and Lily could notice.

"I'm going to write to mu-um!!! Don't think you're going to get away with this!!!" Sirius shouted after her before she closed the door.

Chase smirked. "You didn't have to be so hard on your sister—"

"No way. You should have seen _her _when I was in trouble the first time in school. She was so annoying, tagging along after me like an exceedingly loquacious shadow and lecturing me on discipline and moral principles…"

James grinned. "I remember that time! She and her other wannabe-prefect friends were always at your heel in the hallways, tattling on some teacher or other for every single little thing that you did, like—"

"Excessive eating of mashed potatoes during lunch, too-loud squeaking of sneakers, and vociferous talking in the hallways," Remus added with a snicker.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one, you know. James was always told off by that former-Slytherin teacher who resigned last year—Professor Whatzisname—"

"Professor Witzgromeneirre," Celeste supplied.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, Professor Witzgo—gro—oh, never mind. There never was a day when he didn't reprimand Jamie for his untidy hair—that guy was so horrible, even worse than Ridgewood—"

Peter shuddered. He was known to be scared of all the Slytherin teachers. "Like the time when he gave me a detention in the _Forbidden Forest _just because I didn't spell Proxima Centauri right…" he said in a fearful tone.

"That was beyond injustice, all right," Lily agreed, her tone hateful as was usual when they were talking about Slytherins. "He once gave me a detention to wax _all _the third floor corridors in Hogwarts castle, including the secret passages just for a wrong answer on the distance of the sun from earth in light years!"

"Yeah, as if we could've learned anything about the solar system by looking at a floor all evening," Chase jumped in. 

All the others nodded. "Remember the time when…"

That was how they passed the time. It was as if nothing had changed…

*****     

Chase and Lily sat alone in the common room that night. They had been there long after their fellow Gryffindors had finished their evening chats and unfinished homework, talking about casual things…and something else…

Lily stared intently at the crackling fire in front of her, contemplating on the right things to say to Chase to make her realize what she had to do. "Hey Chase?" 

Chase looked up from her _Intermediate Transfiguration _book. "Yeah, what?" she answered automatically.

"Do you think you could—you know…" Lily trailed off.

Chase blinked. "Do I think I could _what_?"

Lily took a deep breath. "Do you think you could get back together with Sirius?" she said quickly, in an emotionless tone. 

Suddenly the light went out in Chase's eyes. Lily's heart sank. "Oh," she said, glancing at the fireplace, the armchairs, the floor…anywhere but at Lily's inquisitive face. "I don't know. Probably not."

Lily jumped up from her chair. "But why?" she asked in disappointment. Chase couldn't do that, she couldn't possibly break up with Sirius, could she? Just because of a potion…a potion that a dumb bitch made Sirius drink… "You're not going to let that bi—what happened come between you, could you?" she demanded.

Chase sighed. "I know, I know. It sound stupid, but ever since what happened, it's like something's missing between us—Sirius and me. And I know it wasn't his fault, like you always remind me, but something's just…off. And nothing would be the same with that thing lacking."

Us. She had almost said it. Then that meant that she still cared about Sirius. _Then what else is she waiting for? _Lily thought. There had to be some way to get them back together… "You can work that out," Lily reasoned, trying not to sound forceful. "Come on, Chase, you know that you love him. You can't do this…not to him. And especially to yourself. It'll just hurt you more in the end—"

Chase snapped her book shut. "Lil, I appreciate how much you care about me, but it's okay. I can't just force things like this. I don't blame Sirius for what happened, but if I think there's something wrong, then it's my decision to break it off." She stood up too. "It's for the better," she added, turning around and heading back to the girls' dormitories. "Good night, Lil," she called over her shoulder.

Lily didn't reply, sinking into her chair again and watching the fires helplessly, as if they held the answers she needed. There was one thing she knew though…there was somebody who had all the blame on this, somebody who was responsible for  Sirius and Chase breaking up. Lily needed to do this for her friend, just like how Chase helped her get together with James. Because, like what Chase had realized for Lily…Chase needed to realize that she cared about Sirius. Lily did too about James, but it was Chase who made that clear—to both of them. That was why she was going to do this.

Maxine Eamon was going to pay.

*****

AN – I'm supposed to be studying for my second quarterly exams right now, but at least it's finished. REVIEW, okay? I need some cheering up after I finish a hellish three days of mind-numbing question-answering and equation-computing… School absotively, posilutely sucks. Amen. 


	21. Payback and Departure

**Disclaimer: **For the last time… All recognizable characters, places, spells, etc, etc, etc belong to JK Rowling and all _un_recognizable characters, blah blah blah blah blah, belong to me. 

**Kerstin-vol: **I'm only bilingual… I know my native language and English but Japanese is out. I guess I just learned what little knowledge I have on Niponggo from my anime-obsessed-to-the-point-of-insanity friends (gets hit on the back of the head) Ow! I mean, my anime-loving friends…all their fics on anime practically have more Japanese than English in it! And I sometimes watch shows on a channel where it's English-subtitled and the dialogue is in Japanese, so I can catch some of the more-used words and all the insults ^_^ so that I can hurl them at my older brother and he won't understand a thing that I'm saying too! Too bad I forgot most of the names I used to call him though…

And thanks also to everybody else who reviewed…sorry if I didn't put in your names but I'm really lazy so…-_-

Note: Dimantrien was late due to a number of reasons including exams, asthma, a fever, a little annoying brother, a stupid older brother who greedily hogs the computer to himself even though he knows he has to share, though he is probably so inane that he couldn't process that thought in his pea-sized brain no matter how many times it is explained to his near-retarded mind, laziness, Kingdom Hearts, school stuff… 

Chapter 21: Payback and Departure

It was finally Friday. Because of the storm outside, Care of Magical Creatures was cancelled for the day. Even better, it was a double period, so there was plenty of time. Plenty of time to plot pranks.

It wasn't going to be dangerous. Sure, she wanted Maxine to suffer in the worst way possible, but that would certainly get her expelled…besides, she couldn't pull violent stunts like the ones she always envisioned in her head, not even to Snape. Sometimes Lily wanted to curse consciences.  They never let you have any fun.

She sat there in the deserted library (even Madame Pince was MIA), going through pages and pages of spellbooks for the right charms that she would use. If she couldn't resort to blood-splattering murder (that would be going too far), then overwhelming humiliation (at least in Maxine's shallow standards) would do. 

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Ready to go?" James whispered, holding out a hand.

Lily laughed and took it; James pulled her up off her seat. "You don't have to lower your voice. There's no nosy librarian to tell you off for it," she teased. Somehow three hours had flown out the window that fast. She remembered that they had plans to go to Hogsmeade to "stock up" on joke stuff, but even James didn't know about her plans for Maxine. No one was going to know; no one was going to find out who would do it. She was going to make sure of it.

Carefully and casually, she slid the "research" parchments into her paperback copy of _Cafedomancy: The Complete Guide to Divination through Coffee Beans _by _Zyneder Caffnek. _

"What's that, Divination assignment? What topic did Trelawney assign you?" James asked curiously.

Lily smiled nonchalantly. "Revenge Reversals."

*****  

"I think I'm going to drop Ancient Runes next year," Celeste announced as she scooped soup into her bowl during lunch.

"I wish I could just drop Transfiguration," Chase said in reply. 

"Is it possible to have only one extra subject in fifth year?" Peter asked hopefully.

"No," Lily automatically answered.

"Oh," Peter said disappointedly. "I was hoping I could just quit Divination…"

"Don't worry Pete, as long as you keep 'interpreting' misfortunate and tragic events in your crystal ball, you're going to be all right in Trelawney's class," James reassured.

Remus was feeling a little ill since the full moon was drawing near. Sirius, as usual, couldn't be seen behind the mountainous pile of food on his enormous plate. 

Celeste leaned towards Lily and said in a low voice, "Eamon at 1:00." Sure enough, Maxine was walking (if you could call swaying your hips in an overly exaggerated way on five-inch heels _walking_) toward them with her ever-present band of mindless followers. She had a slight smirk on her face, as if getting ready for a fight that she was sure she would win. 

"Why hello, Tarlise," she drawled, resting her right hand, complete with two-inch nails in blood red polish, on the table. She tilted her head slightly, letting all her long blonde hair fan onto her shoulder.

"To what do I owe the honor of this mealtime interruption?" Chase asked sardonically, setting her fork back on top of its napkin and crossing her arms. Lily and Celeste glared at Maxine.

"I just want you to know, Tarlise, that I've found another guy ten times better than your Black," Maxine spat at her.

Chase pushed her plate forward and stared Maxine defiantly in the eye. The people within hearing proximity fell silent, waiting for her reply. "First of all," she said coolly, "I'm willing to bet that that guy, whoever he is, is probably just one of your clients for the week to satisfy his lusty needs." Maxine's eyes narrowed to slits. Chase's eyes widened in mock surprise and she clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, what am I saying? You probably paid _him _more than your body's worth just so he could be seen lip-locking with you in public. If you're even worth something after selling your body a thousand times, that is," she ended in a cold tone. Any person with a right mind would have run away as fast as she could when Chase took on that tone. But no, Maxine was asking for something worse.

"How—dare—you?!" she screeched, her voice reverberating throughout the Hall. Everyone glanced fearfully at the High Table…but they were in luck, because Dumbledore had called all the staff to an emergency faculty meeting. The only supervisors who were there were the Head Boy and Girl and the prefects, who all looked as curious as the onlookers of the fight.

"Is that the best you could do, Eamon? Because the last time we had a little chat, that was exactly what you had said," Chase taunted, her eyes sparkling both with the cynicism she always sported and the hate she felt towards Maxine. It still hurt, though…when she remembered just how far Sirius could go to hurt her then. _It was just the potion, _she chanted silently. _It was Maxine's fault…_

Maxine seemed at a loss of words in her anger. Even though she was known to be the sex symbol of Hogwarts, nobody had ever dared to stand up to her in her face. 

"Second," Chase continued tonelessly, as if she hadn't registered the spasm of loathing on Maxine's face. "Sirius is not 'my' Black. He's nobody's Black. Everybody owns his or her own person, Eamon, in case you didn't know. You're the only one around here who clings hopelessly to each guy you meet, even long after they dumped you because they found out that you're a conniving, cheating bitch. Sorry to break it to you, but you're the only one with possessive delusions around here." 

Again, Maxine was speechless. "Don't mind her, Maxine," one of her friends advised, giving Chase a serious death glare. "Come on, let's get out of here. We don't need to hang around a bunch of losers."

Celeste stood up. "_We're _the losers?" she hissed venomously at the girl. Maxine's friends shrank back. She took out her wand and…transfigured all of them into rats. The white mammals scampered away in all directions.

"Hey, that was my image," Peter protested in a whisper so only the marauders could hear. Chase cracked a smile.

"MS. SCHOHARIE!!!" a voice from the Entrance Hall shouted. Barely a second later everybody saw McGonagall stalking towards the Gryffindor table, her face as white as chalk. 

Celeste paled slightly, but she stood tall in defiance. "Professor, I can explain—"

"Track them down this very second! _All of them!!!"_

"Yes, professor, but just let me—"

"_Now, Ms. Schoharie!"_

Celeste scowled. "Yes, ma'am," she said sullenly. All her friends exchanged surprised looks. Celeste never talked to a teacher that way. Ever.

As Celeste stalked out of the Hall, Professor McGonagall relaxed slightly. She clapped her hands. "Nothing to see here, students. Resume your lunch, there will be thirty more minutes left until the next class starts. I must warn you, if any of you attempt to follow Ms. Schoharie's example again, I will make sure that you are punished accordingly. Transfiguration is not just a mindless game. It is…"

"…the most dangerous of all magic arts. That is why you, as students, should never use it for your own comical reasons! If you take this school seriously, then I suggest you start acting like you do," Sirius mouthed as McGonagall herself uttered the words. He practically had all her speeches memorized after the countless times he had transfigured the Slytherins in the halls. 

"…to uphold the dignity of this school! And stop imitating what I am saying, Black." 

Sirius clamped his mouth shut. "Why, whatever gave you the idea that I was copying you, Professor? Don't flatter yourself, no one would dream—" 

"Enough, Black. I suggest you go now before I get the urge to give you another detention."

"Oh, goody! Are you going to send me to the Forbidden Forest next, Professor M?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"No! Fine, if it means so much to you, I will assign you to wash all of Argus Filch's underwear for a whole week!" Professor McGonagall shouted.

There was a round of  "Eeeewwwwww!'s" and "Yuuuuuuuck!!!'s" all around. Sirius turned green. 

"_Filch?" he said weakly. "Filch, the caretaker's apprentice? No way in hell! Man, he stinks even if he walks through the corridors! Gods, do you think he'd be shameless enough to allow another person to wash his reeking underpants?! You crazy or something?  I'm never going to do that, never!!!" _

His friends, on the other hand, were laughing their heads off. "Oh, this'll be good. The great and wonderful Sirius Black finally gets the ultimate punishment: Washer of Reeking Underwear!" Peter squeaked.

"Hey Sirius, I heard Argus Filch changes his undies only once a month! Think you can take the stench?" Lily teased.

"Perfect! A new ingredient to fortify the latest revision of Reeking Repellant! Come on, Sirius, we're counting on you!" James sniggered.

"Shut up, you…toilet punks!" Sirius yelled. (toilet punk c/o Icie ^_^)

Remus stopped laughing. "What's a toilet punk?"

Sirius' face went blank. "Uhhhh, it means…that… you are all sick when it comes to stuff concerned with the toilet?" he guessed.

"Yeah, that _is concerned with the toilet," Chase agreed._

"Underwear isn't concerned with the toilet," Peter pointed out, shaking his head.

"Yeah, it's concerned with…peeing!" James agreed.

Lily whacked him on the head. "Duh, peeing _is concerned with the toilet! Which means that if peeing is related to the toilet then underwear most definitely is!"_

"Oh yeah, I knew that," James answered defensively.

"You should've listened to Chase instead of Pete, James," Remus remarked. 

"Then if the toilet is connected to peeing and peeing is concerned with underwear, then that means that underwear is connected to sex organs!" James went on as if he didn't hear Remus' proclamation.

"You are such a pervert, James Potter!" Lily cried, whacking him upside the head again.

"Are you in kindergarten, James? Everyone knows that underwear is used to…er…protect the private organ," Remus said, uncertain if he should have said that.

"And the private organ is related to sex," James said matter-of-factly.

"Gods, is sex all you ever think about?" Chase exclaimed, throwing up her hands.

James looked offended. "Of course not. That's Remus' department—"

"Why is it me _again?" Remus complained._

"Because you're l—" Sirius started.

"SHUT UP!!!" all his friends yelled.

"I was going to say 'lecherous'," Sirius finished, annoyed.

"Sirius Black, I forbid you to talk like that in front of all the students in this Hall!" Professor McGonagall barked.

"Yeah, we knew that," Lily blurted out quickly. Other spectators looked at each other quizzically as to why they reacted like that to Sirius' interrupted answer. "It's just that—er…"

"Lecherous is a word that isn't suitable for all the kiddies watching your little scene right now," Chase supplied sardonically. All the "kiddies" who were watching instantly averted their eyes.

"Parental guidance is advisable," Remus piped up.

"Since when did you guys care if I said a word that was unsuitable for people under 18?" Sirius demanded.

"What? Lecherous is a word unsuitable to us?" Lily asked.

"What does lecherous mean?" inquired Peter.

"Lecherous, adjective. It means having or showing excessive or offensive sexual desire," Chase quoted.

"Thank you, walking dictionary," Peter said.

"You're welcome. Just remember one thing: I am not a geek," Chase replied.

"Ms. Tarlise! Please stop using that word!" Professor McGonagall cried, miffed. It seemed like she was shocked at the topics of conversation that her Gryffindors chose to divulge.

"What word? Geek?" Chase asked her, her face innocent. 

"No! S—"

"Oh, don't worry, you don't look like a geek," Sirius reassured her. "Geeks wear glasses and talk funny and read a lot of books." A few (male) students who fit that description glared at him.

"Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better," Chase responded dryly. "What were you saying, Professor?"

"She said SEX," James informed.

"Will you _please go to your next class now?!" Professor McGonagall said almost pleadingly._

"Nuh-uh, we've still got twenty more minutes," Sirius disagreed, tapping his watch.

"I once read somewhere that that was a holy word and had to be treated with respect," Peter said. (lol T.H.E. class ^_^)

"Where'd you read that?" James asked, amazed.

"Probably the Catholic Bible," Sirius said with a grin. "Get real, Pete, everybody in this world already forgot that rule. The new trend for like since the last century is that sex means erotic ecstatic pleasure, the process to satisfy lusty needs, and—"

"BLACK! SHUT UP!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"Mum said that you shouldn't say it that way!" Peter argued, looking like he would burst into tears any second.

"Why don't you listen to your friends, Black?" Professor McGonagall said exasperatedly. 

"It's a _dirty word, Pete," Sirius told him._

"It's a _holy word!" Peter said._

"Dirty."

"Holy."

"Dirty."

"Holy!"

"Holy."

"Dir—oh, just quit it, Sirius!"

"This says a lot. Sirius is more devoted to dirty language than the normal, respected way of talking in modern society." Chase shook her head.

"But it _is true! Ask anyone, try to see if a single one of them will say that it's holy—"_

"It IS a holy word!" Peter shouted.

"It's a DIRTY word, Peter, and don't you raise your voice at me—" Sirius started to retort.

"HOLY!"

_"Dirty."_

_"HOLY!"_

_"D—"_

There was an audible gasp from across the Hall. "Oh. My. God. I can_not believe that you guys are just sitting there, arguing about undies and sex," Celeste said. She was holding an army of white mice in her arms._

"Sirius started it," all her friends immediately answered.

"What?! Why me?" Sirius demanded.

James replied. "Remember? When we were teasing you about your detention sentence and you called us toilet punks and you said that it was related to underwear and—"  

"You're saying it all over again," Chase pointed out.

"Students! I believe your lunch break is now over, will you please go to your respective classes now?" Professor McGonagall shouted loudly, glaring at the marauders. The noise started up again as people began to shuffle out the door, glancing back at the marauders amusedly.

"Ms. Schoharie, transfigure them all back before they go to their next class," McGonagall instructed her. 

"But Professor, we have Potions next, and Professor Ridgewood's going to give us a detention if we're late—"

"It is your responsibility to tolerate the consequences of playing with transfiguration! Do you not know that—"

"Uh, we'll get going now, wouldn't want to be late either…" Sirius said for his friends, and they started to walk away from McGonagall and the unlucky Celeste. 

*****  

A week flew by. It was Saturday, and students, up late because of a non-school day, were entering the Great Hall for brunch. Among them, as usual, were the marauders. 

Unusually, Lily was the earliest to get there, earlier even than Chase, who usually woke up at the break of dawn.

"What are you doing here so early?" Chase asked her after she plopped down on her seat, apparently surprised at her early-bird antics.

"Nothing. I couldn't sleep after I woke up an hour ago," Lily lied. 

"Ookay," Chase said, an underlying tone of suspicion in her voice. "If you say so."

"I say so," Lily declared. "Where's Celeste?"

"Naturally, in the shower. Probably drowning herself, if that."

"Good. Then we wouldn't need to wait ages to take a bath. I really think we should demand McGonagall to add new showers to the girls' dormitory."

"You've been saying that since the start of the year. Why don't you actually get off your butt and do it?" Chase pointed out.

"If I did, do you think she'll jump up with joy and say, 'Oh, Ms. Evans, that's such a marvelous idea!'?" Lily asked sarcastically.

Chase smirked. "Guess not. You should ask Dumbledore, he's not as much of a penny pincher as McGonagall."

"Probably. Do you think he would do me that favor even if I've been a bad girl all year?" 

"The odds are…a million to one," Chase responded. 

They continued their chat until James, Remus and Peter joined them, followed by Sirius a half hour later, and finally Celeste.

"Did you just spend _five hours in the shower?" Chase asked her incredulously._

Celeste scowled at her and flipped her silky brown hair over her shoulder. "Of course not! It takes time to apply my facial cleanser, moisturizing cream, foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss—"

"Jeez, your face would probably shrivel up from all the chemicals in those makeup of yours," Lily said.

"Wait a year and we'll see who'll have the more flawless skin," Celeste retorted.

"Flawless is a perfect adjective. You're not supposed to add degrees of comparison to it," Chase interjected.

"Oh, shut up, grammar police officer. Won't you ever stop correcting little things like that for the rest of your life?" Celeste snapped at her.

"To you? No," Chase casually replied. "But I _will make special exceptions to all the rest of mankind, except the Slytherins, probably…"_

"Are you grouping me with those sli—"

Her retort was broken off by a high-pitched scream coming from the entrance of the Hall. Fact was, that area was particularly crowded because a mob had come in and no one had a clue who had done it, except maybe for one…

Lily cracked a smirk but quickly covered it up by taking a sip of her hot chocolate and saying nonchalantly, "Who screamed?"

"Dunno…there're too much people out there." Celeste stood up and peered the throng.

Even the teachers, who were up at the High Table, were curious. Some stood up and made their way to the crowd assembled at the entrance.

They were going the wrong way, because the source of the scream was walking toward the Gryffindor Table already…

"TARLISE!!!" Maxine hissed as she neared their table. The marauders gaped at her. There was something different about her…

Sirius squinted at her. "Er…Eamon? Did you take a haircut or something?"

"_No," Maxine said icily, continuing to glare at Chase and looking like she was trying very, __very hard not to scream again._

"Did you have a makeover?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.

"NO!"

"I know," Chase spoke up. "She had a mastectomy." (I know u all aren't dumb or anything, but 2 those hu don't know… **mastectomy- **a surgical operation to remove a breast)

The whole Gryffindor Table turned their heads at her direction and stared at Maxine. Sure enough, where her once-XXXL sized boobs were, was…a flat nothing. Smirks and snickers erupted at their table.

"Gee, what happened to your boobs, Eamon?" someone started.

"Ooooh, Eamon, you never told us you had breast cancer," Katie Higgs laughed.

"What're you gonna use on your clients now that you don't have any knockers?" another Gryffindor piped up. Chuckles were starting to grow louder, and other Houses turned at their table.

Maxine's face was beet red—the familiar mixture of anger and humiliation. "Shut _up!" she yelled at them. That only caused them to laugh harder. _

"Whoa, look at her face…it's practically maroon…" a wide-eyed first year said in awe.

"Take it easy Eamon, next thing you know, bubbles might appear on your face…"

"Don't take that back, I think bubbles really _are popping all over her face…"_

"Duh, those are pimples."

"Do pimples erupt on your face because of excessive anger?"

"Nah, but Eamon has an…unusual genetic coding, so…"

Maxine looked at them in horror and put her hands over her face. Every inch of space on it was suddenly covered with pimples.

"Now she looks like a zit that grew a face!"

Maxine screamed again and pointed at Chase. "YOU DID THIS! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU! NO—IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING WORSE THAN DEATH! YOU SNEAKY, UNWORTHY BI—"

"Calm down, Eamon, or your pimples will grow larger," Celeste taunted. Maxine gave her a (what else?) death glare, slightly less threatening than the one she threw at Chase.

Of course, it was said that the teachers were also included in the hundreds of people watching this scene. As usual, it was McGonagall who was pushing her way through other students to get to them.

"_What is happening here?" she asked in a strangely calm voice, though the fire in her eyes and the extreme white of her nostrils betrayed her real emotion._

"Professor, Tarlise disfigured me and you know that that's against the rules…" Maxine said angrily, pointing at her nonexistent bosom and again clutching her once-flawless face. In the past few minutes her silky blonde hair had also gone limp, as if it were a product of her rage.

"I didn't do anything to her, Professor. I just came here to eat brunch and she barges right in and all hell broke loose," Chase protested.

Professor McGonagall gave her an appraising look, as if weighing the chances as to how she could have been responsible for this. "Are you sure, Ms. Tarlise?"

Sirius snorted through his cereal. "Duh, if it had been her, she wouldn't have admitted it anyway too," he pointed out, only to receive a foot tread from James. "Ouch! James, why'd you do that?!"

James just glared at him and glanced back at McGonagall. 

"Oh, is that so, Black? Then, respecting all possibilities, Ms. Tarlise _might have been the culprit. Is that what you were implying?" Professor McGonagall challenged him._

Now both Lily and Celeste were glaring at him too. "No, Professor, I wasn't implying that, I was just merely pointing out the fact that not everybody would pull something like this and be stupid enough to admit it in front of the entire school—"

"People like you, for example?" was McGonagall's reply.

"Er, I guess so…" Sirius said sheepishly. "But I do know that Chase would never do something like this. She's not that type of person."

McGonagall was still looking suspicious. "Well then. Ms. Eamon, kindly tell me the reason why you accused Ms. Tarlise in the first place without a second doubt and what you have done to her for her to possibly do something as serious as this to you."

Maxine, down to all her new pimples, turned white. None of the marauders had ever ratted on her Love Potion schemes even after it was all over. Perhaps they weren't the tattletale types, but there were other reasons, like in Lily's case…reasons like having the whole student (and staff) body of Hogwarts to witness the confession of her illegal crime. (AN – Yeah, yeah, I know…all crimes are illegal… :p)

"Well, Professor, i-it's like—like this…" Maxine stuttered.

"Yes? I believe I didn't quite get that, Ms. Eamon," Professor McGonagall prompted, giving her the same crucial look she had thrown at Chase.

"It was Tarlise, Professor! A few weeks ago her boyfriend dumped her and went to me and now she's taking some sort of revenge to make my life miserable—"

"Excuse me, but I never dumped Chase, you stupid bitch! And I never crawled over to you, you lying, cheating sneak—" Sirius interrupted in outrage.

"Black, watch your mouth! Let's hear Ms. Tarlise's side, then."

Chase shrugged. "During the Christmas Ball I allowed Sirius to dance with Maxine and she made him drink a Love Potion so that she could have him under her control," she answered bluntly. Lily smirked as McGonagall (and all the other teachers sans Dumbledore) showed an expression of overwhelming shock and anger.

"WHAT?!" McGonagall finally reacted after a few seconds. Then, seemingly noticing her lack of composure, she went on more calmly, "Do you mean that this girl just broke wizard law for a very petty reason?"

"Well, not exactly. She wasn't the one who made it—or maybe she helped, being a Ravenclaw and all, but most definitely she was the one who coaxed whoever made the potion to create it and she was the one who made Sirius drink it."

Professor McGonagall glowered at Maxine at a level far more lethal than the looks she gave Sirius when he was at his worst—for as a fact Sirius never did break the actual law—and slightly trembled with immeasurable rage. She turned around and said, "Ms. Eamon, I would like you to follow me to the Headmaster's office immediately."

Maxine went paler than white, a non-color previously unknown to man. Before she went, though, she gave Chase a look (worse than glower, glare and frown) so evil that it would have made any other person quail in fear. Chase held her ground.

"You will pay for this, Tarlise," she repeated in a low, deadly tone. "I swear it—"

"On every single zit on the surface of your face," Peter finished. His friends all grinned, including Sirius, who, for the first time that school year, looked proud of him.

"Shut up, pipsqueak," Maxine hissed harshly. 

"You're the one who needs to shut up, Eamon. Don't deny it, you broke the law. I guess there's nothing that gets worse than this, is there?" Lily interrupted, staring flaming daggers at Maxine and putting a hand on Peter's shoulder protectively.

Maxine was (there was no other phrase for it) speechless with fury. She opened her mouth, but no words appropriate for a scathing retort spilled from her lips.

"What's the matter, Eamon? Ravenclaws are supposed to be smart, aren't they? You wouldn't want to bring shame to your House, would you? Just look at them, all shreds of forced-friendliness and what little respect they show you must be completely erased from their minds. Maybe you should consider transferring to Slytherin. Though, I doubt that even if they're evil at times, they'd accept you," Chase said. "There's no other place for you, and you know it."

"You'll be lucky to be expelled," Celeste snarled. "Else Azkaban might actually repay a little of the bad karma you really deserve."

Maxine finally snapped out of her flabbergasted state. "Don't be stupid, Schoharie, no fool will send a minor to Azkaban—"

"Or won't they?" Celeste retaliated. "I thought you already considered yourself mature, if you've lived a freewheeling fuck-all-you-can kind of life since you were fourteen," she snapped.

"You arrogant little bas—"

"MS. EAMON! DO YOU THINK THIS IS JUST SOME APRIL FOOL JOKE?!!! GET OVER HERE OR I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE EXPELLED!!!"

"Oops, your call," Lily said, giving her a triumphant snicker. "Have fun in Azkaban…that is, if your parents haven't killed you by then."

Unable to answer because of McGonagall, Maxine bowed her pimply face down to the ground in defeat. And that was the exact term to describe her situation: loss. The worst and most humiliating kind ever experienced.

"I'd like to see her flirting with a guy behind bars," James said with a smile. "Now _that's what I would call entertainment."_

"No guy with a right mind—even a left one—would think of visiting that hussy, not even her dad or something," Remus disagreed.

"Heck, maybe even the dementors wouldn't dare come near her in case she thinks they'll be fair game for her sexual needs," Celeste said. 

"I thought her parents already disowned her for seeking prostitution as a job goal in life _and raising it to a high art," Lily added._

Chase leaned closer to the table, putting her weight on her folded arms. "The question of the hour is, who here was brilliant enough to think of this plan?" she asked, scanning their faces.

"I would have liked to say that it was me, but I'm not a liar, so…count me out," Sirius answered, looking slightly put out by the fact that he was left out of the master planning.

"You? Not a liar? Bite your tongue," James said with a grin. "Ain't me either."

Chase looked at Celeste expectantly. "No way! After getting the first detention in my life for those stupid lackeys of the school prostitute, I'm not going to do it again." Celeste barely heard Sirius' low response of  "Gutless." She gave him a glare. (Glares seemed high on the list of most-used words today…)

"I thought it was you," Lily lied, faking a surprised look that even Chase couldn't see through. "I mean, I know you're not the take-revenge type, but you've been acting a bit differently at some things this year and I assumed that you were responsible for this one too…"

Chase shook her head. "Nah, I'm not as mean as you, Lil, I grant you that," she reassured her. "And that leaves…"

"Nope," both Remus and Peter said in unison. 

"I'd love to, but face it: who would believe that I could pull something like this by myself?" Peter pointed out.

"Good point," Sirius remarked. James elbowed him. "What?" Sirius said, annoyed.

"Pete can too do stuff like that if he wanted to," James countered. "Don't get yourself down just because they say you can't do what they say you're not able to do," he told Peter encouragingly.

"Thanks, James," Peter said gratefully. James was one of the very few who believed that he could do something more if he tried. Sirius, on the other hand, was busy covering faked coughs as a reaction to James' comment.

There was silence for a moment.

"Who did it then, if none of us did?" Celeste finally spoke up.

"One of you did it…" Chase insisted.

"How would you know that?" Peter asked her.

Chase shrugged. "It's a gut feeling. I'll find out a way to know who was the mastermind behind this, but right now I just want to thank whichever one of you who was cool enough to do so."

"Don't worry yourself, Chase, all of your friends are beyond cool," Sirius proclaimed, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

"I wouldn't say so, Black," she answered with a smirk. "But if it makes you feel a whole lot better, something tells me you weren't the one who pulled _this trick."_

"Just remember that we're all here for you!" Lily said. "I mean, secret or not…that's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah," Chase agreed. "It definitely is."

*****   

Months passed, and the exams were finally over. Lily got top marks in their Charms exam, as was James at Transfiguration, Sirius at Astronomy and Divination, Remus at DADA, Chase at Ancient Runes and Celeste at Arithmancy. Peter, unbelievably, was the third-highest scorer in their History of Magic test, which brought him more than several slaps on the back and quite a celebration courtesy of his friends (all of them each had their own grades to celebrate too anyway). Fourth years of other Houses must have given them the could shoulder for a week because they had hogged almost all the subjects' top exam score spots. The Gryffindors, on the other hand, always gave them a whoop or a clap on the back for salute when they passed in the halls.

Chase and Sirius did not work it out, which caused Sirius to become moodier than usual. (_Sirius: What?! You said you were going to work it out if I left in two seconds! __Dimantrien: Keep your hat on, I'm not finished with my narration. __Sirius: I'm not wearing a hat. __Dimantrien: I know that! I'm not stupid, like you…anyway, shut up or I won't get you back together for good! -_-;) Sometime in the months between the trash-Maxine-to-humiliating-death event and the rest of the school year, the group figured that Sirius was more of the party-guy type who couldn't hold on to a steady relationship for long, and Chase was a girl who was better off with the complete opposite—something that Sirius was apparently indignant about. He constantly lectured them about things like "opposites attract" and "there's a first in everything." Nonetheless, Chase remained in platonic terms with him all year. Remus and James had a slight suspicion that he was sinking into a less-complex level of depression, but they couldn't be sure (__Sirius: Me? Depressed? What kind of lunatic stuff are you conjuring with those so-called writing skills of yours? __Dimantrien: It's called the "torturing-Sirius-to-the-point-where-he-begs-and-pleads-to-prove-that-he-isn't-as-conceited-as-we-think-he-is" scheme of prose aptitude. __Sirius: You made that up. __Dimantrien: …)._

Overall, Sirius (much to the surprise of their teachers) didn't break his most-pranks-in-a-single-year record. In fact, he didn't even get half as many detentions as he did last year, and he had little energy for them ever since the you-know-what occurrence. (_Sirius: Do I __have to be that pathetic?! __Dimantrien: Yes, you do :p)_

Hundreds of students stood waiting at the Hogsmeade Station. The Hogwarts Express finally came and there was a mad scramble for compartments. The marauders always got the same compartment since the time they formed their group, though, because of the fact that anyone who dared to occupy theirs would get more than the usual dose of ultimate pranks all the way back to London, and well the other students knew it. Even the Slytherins, who liked to put up a challenge, knew when and when not to mess with the group. And that was why James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Chase, Celeste and Peter took their time in entering the train, waiting for all the others to clear the entrance. 

Sirius was still sporting a slightly dejected look, which he acquired months ago, as he ascended the steps up the train.

James gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "Cheer up, Padfoot. There's always next year. There are other girls out there."

"Problem is, all the 'other girls out there' must have dated me at least twice," Sirius despondently replied. The two of them slid into their compartment. Their other friends had gotten held up in the throng of impatient students who were still outside.

"Right. You dated all the fifth and sixth years already?" James scoffed. "Chase is cool, and I admit she's a girl who could stand above many, but you've gotta move on. Besides, do you think she'll like you any better if you sulk around looking like a lost puppy or something? Sorry to disappoint, but it won't win you any points in her favor."

Sirius sighed. "I kn—"

The door slid open and the rest of the troop came in.

"No, that'll never work, the Jelly Legs Jinx and Consolidation Curse won't match if you hit it on one person—" Chase was disagreeing with Lily.

"What'll it look like then?" Lily asked with keen interest.

"Er…I don't exactly know… Would you care to be the test dummy to find out?"

"My curiosity won't let me go _that far. Let's test it on someone else, say…" Lily looked around at her friends. "Celes?" she suggested._

"No way in hell!" was Celeste's immediate reply.

Lily made a face at her. "Jeez, why don't you sacrifice a little on our experiments? We need to know how things'll turn out so that we can make better jokes—"

"If you're so serious about making other people look like rubbery iron then why don't you try it on yourself?" Celeste retorted.

"I was the guinea pig the last two times, remember? My hair practically stood on end for two weeks just because Chase was trying a combined jinx on your hair but you deflected it with a mirror and it shot at me because nooooo, Celeste Schoharie will go absolutely insane if a single strand of her precious tresses is even slightly out of place…"

"Shut up, I am _not that bad," Celeste protested crossly._

"Yes, you are," James piped up.

"You're just defending her because she's your girlfriend," Celeste shot back.

"You're just being defensive because it's true," James answered with a smirk. Celeste scowled at him, took a seat by the window and fell silent.

"So, who _are we going to test it with?" Lily resumed their previous topic of discussion._

"What about Snape? He always drops by for a friendly chat every single time we board this train," Sirius suggested sarcastically.

"Great idea! Why don't you list some more cross-curses and we'll try them all on him and his stupid friends?" Lily asked Chase.

"Yes, Your Royal Highness," Chase quipped, digging around in her trunk for a parchment piece and a quill. 

"I _do suit the role, don't I?" Lily joked, holding her nose high._

"What role? The Queen of the Geeks?" Chase snickered. 

Lily punched her shoulder. "Me? A geek?"

"Oh, okay, I take it back, you're not a geek," Chase said, and Lily's face relaxed. "You're a dork."

"Well, you're a thick-faced creep," Lily said haughtily, rolling her eyes.

"Thanks," Chase said sardonically. Same as they always did, the group bantered to pass the time until the trip was halfway over and the witch with the food cart stopped by.

"Anybody want to play Every Flavor Beans?" Peter offered.

"How can you play a jelly bean?" Chase asked him.

Peter raised an eyebrow at her. "It's the title of the game. Anybody who eats the most decent-flavored beans wins."

"_That's it?" Sirius reacted._

"Hey, it's fun," Peter said defensively. "You're supposed to be looking for the risk in it."

"Does decent-flavored beans include vegetables?" James inquired, pulling out a green bean from one of his purchases.

"No," Peter replied.

"Okay, then let's play it."

"Who wants to start?" Peter asked, opening an enormous pack of Every Flavor Beans.

All his friends looked uncertainly at him. "Maybe you should," Celeste said.

"Me? Why me?" Peter squeaked.

"Because you suggested the game," snapped Sirius. He had gotten a lot edgier these days.

"Oh…okay," Peter said, looking intimidated by Sirius' new attitude (though he's always like that to Peter anyway ^_^).

Peter plunged his hand in the mass of colorful beans and pulled out a gray one. He turned slightly pale before popping it in his mouth. And spit it out.

"You okay, Pete?" Chase asked, patting his back as he coughed.

"Ugh…it tasted like fish eye…" 

"Then I reckon you wouldn't call that decent-flavored, right?" Lily asked. She was supposed to keep track of their points. 

"Obviously," James said with a laugh. "Me next."

And so they resumed the "game." James got cabbage, which didn't count; Sirius got grape; Lily ate a bean that she claimed tasted like "cockroach guts" and offered the other half (she didn't it whole) to a practically green Celeste. Chase got a lemon, Remus got apple, and Celeste got salt.

By the end of fifteen minutes, there were more of them who wanted to puke than eating more beans. So far only Chase had gotten all beans that were edible, even if a few of them were nasty-tasting veggies or had the essence of certain animal internal organs that were seldom used on any person's menu. The others weren't as lucky, as they got flavors such as rock, cardboard, rubber, frog intestine, plastic, oil (cooking oil), and coral (how they knew the taste of coral, don't ask me). 

Chase led with 24 points, James following with 17, Remus was third with 13, Celeste with 10, Lily with 8, Sirius with 7 and Peter (I'm so mean) with 2. James conjured a barf bag for him.

"Better luck next time, eh, Pete?" James told him, his voice pitying. His only answer was the sound (don't know the word for it) of vomiting. 

Remus immediately supplied Peter with another barf bag.

"Do people get a prize if they win?" Chase asked. 

"Nah, I think the fact that you don't feel like puking your guts out is prize enough," Sirius asked. He wasn't too far from the way Peter was feeling either.

"Do you want a barf bag too?" Lily asked him.

"No tha—"

His still-sick voice didn't finish the response when Snape came barging in, followed by his usual lackeys, Avery and Nott, and two others, namely Rookwood and Rosier, the two other (male) fourth years of Slytherin.

For the first time in a while, Sirius' mouth curled into his famous cat-that-ate-the-canary grin. "You sure you can handle us with only five, Snape?" he mocked.

Snape glanced around at them and noticed for the first time Celeste and Chase. Actually, he didn't count on them being with the marauders, and Peter either, since he was usually so weak that he'd just be an extra target for them. Snape had always been used to the four-against-three Gryffindor-Slytherin brawl only.

The door magically shut behind the Slytherins (c/o Sirius) and for once after their confident expressions as they entered, the looks were replaced by panicked faces.

Sirius started the fight with a Conflagration Curse which set Rookwood's robes on fire. Rookwood yelped and Snape quickly extinguished it with a Water Reverser.

Chase was digging in her trunk for something and narrowly missed the hex that Rookwood hurled at Sirius in retaliation.

"Chase, what the hell are you looking for? Get up and fight before they curse you to a million—Ow! You'll pay for that, Rosier!" Lily yelped, charging at the offending Slytherin and yelling a dozen incantations at warp speed. Her fair complexion had turned electric blue.

_"Diminutivo!" Celeste cried, hitting Avery with the Shrinking Spell. Avery shrank into a six-inch nothing, hiding under the seats to keep from being stepped on._

"Here it is—" Chase said triumphantly, only to be cut off by a wayward punch in the noggin courtesy of Nott. Sirius immediately chased him off with another curse that turned his feet into giant stalks of broccoli.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, pulling her up. He smelled the faint scent of her perfume as she righted herself.

"I think so…" Chase replied distractedly, wincing as she rubbed the bruise on her head. "Where's Snape?"

Sirius was starting to wonder if the punch had somehow affected her way of thinking and was about to ask her if she was okay again when Snape hit him with the Leg-Locker Curse.

"Looking for me?" he asked Chase, smirking as Sirius struggled to retrieve his wand, which he dropped after being cursed.

"Yep, here," Chase said, handing him an expensive-looking necklace with a diamond moon pendant.

"What's this?" Snape asked her quizzically.

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't remember. The fact is that it's yours," explained Chase.

"Excuse me, but I do _not wear fancy necklaces or any other girlie accessory that would make me look gay, for that matter," Snape told her angrily, thrusting the pendant at her._

"Will you stop acting stupid? It's yours, you gave it to me when you were temporarily out of your mind, and you should be grateful that I have the decency to give it back," Chase said cynically, throwing it back at him.

"I gave it to you? I did no such thing!" Snape disagreed.

Chase sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Then pawn it, or sell it to a jewelry shop or whatever. Or give it to some other girl. Just stop acting like a total idiot over a necklace already." She kicked Nott's broccoli shin as he ran by.

"Whatever," Snape muttered. "If I gave it to you, then why'd you give it back?" he challenged.

Chase shrugged. "So that I won't feel so guilty when I hex you?" she guessed, smirking as Snape did just that. She deflected it with a Shield Charm and with a puff of smoke, Snape's nose and mouth merged into a pelican beak.

"Good for you, I think I see an improvement in your face already," Chase said with a sardonic smile. She raised her wand and cried, _"Expelliarmus Hexus!"_

All wands in the room (except hers) shot out of their owners' hands and started to hex them.

Celeste screamed. "Chase, you didn't have to include _us in the curse!" she shouted at her before dodging a jet of purple sparks from her wand._

"Oops," Chase said. "Guess I'm not that good at Charms…" 

"Shut up and make things right!" James hollered at her as he retrieved his glasses, which had broken in half when a curse hit him between his eyes.

"Hang on, I'm trying to remember the reverser…"

"Chase!" all six of her friends shouted. It was a miracle that none of them looked deformed yet; on the other hand, Snape, Nott, Avery, Rookwood and Rosier looked like sci-fi alien movie rejects.

"_Repscindus Nullifium," Chase announced at last, pointing the wand in the direction of her friends. Their wands fell safely into their palms and the curses that were interrupted by the counter-curse flew to the Slytherins, who yelped and tried vainly to scamper out of harm's way._

"That's that, then," Lily said with relief, staring intently at the unfortunate curse targets. "Their own wands are a law against them. Maybe we should just drive them out since they just take up more space in here."

"Good idea," James said with a grin, kicking the flailing, screaming, growing (certain body parts), chattering and babbling (Garrulity Jinx) Slytherins.

He slammed the door shut after Avery, electrocuted pink hair, flapping rabbit ears, duck feet and all, exited the compartment. Celeste, at some point of the brawl, felt a little pity for him and reverted him to his normal hulking size, since he couldn't do much harm to them anyway with his deformations.

"You shouldn't have done that," Celeste spoke up. "Remember? The experimental cross-curse test dummies," she reminded.

"Oh yeah!" Lily said, slapping a hand to her forehead. "All the stupid beans I ate must have made my brain malfunction."

"Who says it hasn't malfunctioned before that?" Sirius asked her teasingly, earning only a smarting ear. "Ow! Jeez, Lil, can't you take a joke?" he complained.

"Unfortunately for you, no," Lily answered simply. Outside the window, they could see parents and younger (or older) siblings clustered around the familiar platform, waiting for the students to come out. 

"Wonder what Mr. And Mrs. Snape would say when they find poor Severus all mutilated on the Hogwarts Express floor," Remus said, waving his wand to make his heavy trunk float as he left their compartment. He noticed that other students who were rushing past didn't seem to notice the five boys that badly needed counter-curses at the moment. Most of them just ignored the Slytherins and stepped on them (or dragged their burdensome trunks over them) while some just stared peculiarly at them before carefully passing by. Other Slytherins averted their eyes as they passed and people from the other Houses who saw this smirked. 

"Ah, don't worry yourself, Rem. By the time Mr. And Mrs. S find out that their son is missing, we'll be back home already," Lily reassured him. They shoved their way through the crowd and, as if in retaliation, the other students pushed back and they toppled outside in a heap.

"Ouch! Get off me, Lil, you weigh a ton!" Peter whined. 

"I will once Sirius gets off my back!" Lily snapped. "Gods, Sirius, did all the food you stuffed into you at school stay in that deadweight body of yours? Get _off!"_

"This sure is a fine way to make our grand entrance to the world of common people," Sirius said with a grin. Lucky for him, he was the last to come out of the train and was therefore at the least-harmful position as any of them: at the top.

"Grand entrance, my butt, just get the hell off me!" Lily yelled. People behind them were starting to buzz impatiently because of the delay.

"Guys, will you all just stop gibbering, we're blocking the exit—" James started to say.

"Will you all just shut up?! You're all on top of _me!" Chase's muffled voice said from the depths of the human pile. _

One by one, the gang of seven slowly picked themselves up. Last was Chase, whose once-neat hairstyle was askew, her clothes the most rumpled among all of them. 

"Another hour of hair styling wasted," Celeste said sadly, watching Chase yank off the gazillion hairpins that Celeste had stuck into her hair to make the style. 

"Aw, don't put yourself down, sis. This is all in the pointless life of a hairdresser," Chase deadpanned as she brushed her hair back to normal. "Takes five hours to make it, and one second to break it."

"More words of wisdom from the knower of all things," Celeste grumbled.

"I don't see why you're so cranky. It's my hair. It wasn't yours that got pulled at and messed up," Chase countered, but suddenly a woman with the same light brown shade as Remus' walked toward them.

"Remus, dear, there you are! How are you feeling? Did you drink your medicine, like I told you?" Mrs. Lupin said as she approached. Remus looked sheepish. "You didn't! Why, we'll see what your father says about this, it's very dangerous, you know! Your health is at stake here, young man, and you go on with your routines willy-nilly without considering how much your physical condition could deplete! How many times…"

"Bye," Remus said miserably, waving his hand at them before following his still-lecturing mum to the barrier.

"You can stay at my house on the last week if you want, Rem!" Sirius shouted after him. The faint "OK!" that the werewolf said in reply was drowned by the conversations all around them.

James sighed. "Poor Rem. I bet his summer will be as dull as the last, except for the part when we meet up at your house, Sirius. You should give him an extension before he dies of boredom there."

"Or maybe die of his mum's endless sermons," Lily added. "Seriously, she's worse even than McGonagall…" They walked on, peering over countless heads for their fetchers (Except Lily, as her parents were Muggles and couldn't enter Platform 9 and ¾.). 

"There's my mummy! Bye, guys, see you at the last week of vacation!" Peter exclaimed, pushing his trolley towards his mum.

They went by Mr. and Mrs. Black, who were already joined by Cas. She was telling them a detailed schedule of graduation practices over the first two weeks of summer and the graduation program itself at the 14th of July. As soon as she saw Sirius, her discussion switched to the number of pranks he had pulled and a thorough recount of each and every detention he had served and destructed. 

"Man, the only thing I'm thankful for before our traditional meeting is the fact that Cas will be out of my face for two whole weeks," Sirius whispered to them before going to his parents. The others stuck around with him as they waited for their parents.

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Black," Chase said courteously, as she had never met them before, at least not formally. Mr. Black gave her a scrutinizing look.

Sirius shifted his position uncomfortably. "Er—mum, dad, meet Chase Tarlise. Chase, my parents."

"It's nice to meet you," Mrs. Black said with a warm smile. 

Celeste tugged on Chase's sleeve. "Mr. Schoharie's there. I gotta go." Lily, James and Sirius chorused their "bye's."

The twins hugged each other before going on their separate ways. Mr. Schoharie had come to fetch Celeste, and was accompanied by her half-brother Nick, a soon-to-be first year at Hogwarts the next school year. Celeste seldom mentioned him to her friends, since he was extremely annoying and could beat even her in the role of the spoiled brat in the family. He stuck his tongue out at Celeste in greeting, which she returned only with a withering glare.

Lily, James and Chase were standing near the Blacks when Mr. Tarlise showed up. 

"Hey Dad," Chase said, giving him a brief hug. Mr. Black eyed her father with a strange expression. It seemed that they had been old rivals at school and they had never gone around to a truce. 

Mr. Black was still staring after them as they disappeared out of the barrier.

"She seemed polite enough, dear," Mrs. Black told her husband. Mr. Black nodded. "I guess so…"

"Hey, my old man's here already. Later guys," James told them, giving Lily a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

Mr. Black raised his eyebrows. "Weren't you two the ones who used to fight all the time?" he asked her.

Lily turned beet red. "Well—uh—"

Sirius grinned smugly. "Yeah dad, but I think they got bitten by the love bug—"

"Oh look at the time, I better go see my parents now or they'll be worried," Lily interrupted loudly, her voice strangely high-pitched. "See you at the end of summer, Sirius!"

"I thought that your dad was going to come late," Sirius said with narrowed eyes.

"No, there was a change of plans."

Sirius grinned again. "Oh, I see. The plans just changed once my dad pointed out that you—"

"Mr. B, did you know that Chase was Sirius' ex-girlfriend?" Lily said swiftly. "Bye all!" And she ran off, turning around just to see Mr. Black shouting "WHAT?!" to Sirius, who was starting to look pretty pale. Lily smirked. Another two months before they would see each other again…sometimes she just felt that going to school really was better than staying at home.

The End 

AN – Don't be mad at me because Chase and Sirius didn't get together! There's actually a continuation but it'll have to be part of another story coz some of my friends are saying that this one's getting too long! I'll speed things up if you review and promise that you'll r/r that one too…^_^; I'm especially sorry to NicolaPadfoot coz I know u really think that they make a cute couple…but I'll make it up in the next story… it's gonna be called Complications so…L8er! Review plz!!!


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